‘It is from Toby.’ Anna came back from the front door with the letter. ‘What can be so urgent that he must write?’
Harriet hoped he was not ill. There were so many with the fever. ‘Good news, I trust.’
Anna adjusted the spectacles on her nose, slid a knife point under the seal and unfolded the thick paper. Her eyes roamed quickly through the writing.
Harriet held her breath until she could stand the suspense no longer. ‘Is he well?’ Her voice came out as a squeak.
Anna looked up sharply. ‘Why, yes, of course. Bad news for some, I’m afraid, although you may not find it so. Nor I.’
‘How so?’
‘Hesley Mexton is dead.’
Dead. Old Hesley had died. Nervous relief washed over Harriet. He was gone for ever and she was free of him at last. Perhaps she could return to Hill Top House and see Olivia. She would like so much to do that. She was overcome with emotion and could not reply.
‘You look pleased,’ Anna remarked.
‘I suppose I am. The man was evil. Do you not think so?’
Anna did, and this surprised Harriet. ‘I would not expect you to be so uncharitable, Anna. He was a wicked man, but does not God ask us to forgive the sinners among us?’
‘Sometimes He asks too much.’
Harriet could only agree where Hesley Mexton was concerned. ‘I can never forgive him.’
‘Nor I, for what he did to me.’
‘To you?’ Harriet was astonished. ‘Did you know him?’
Anna did not answer her. ‘There is to be a funeral in the town,’ she said, ‘at the parish church. Gentlemen from all over the Riding will attend.’ Suddenly she thrust the letter at Harriet. ‘I - I can’t read any more.’
‘Anna, you are quite pale. What is it?’ Harriet feared she would have another attack and got up to fetch her smelling-salts. ‘It’s him, isn’t it? You did know him. It was the mention of his name before that caused your relapse. I am surprised that your brother wrote to you of him.’
‘I am well. Truly. Toby knows this news will please me. As it does you.’
‘You wished him dead, too?’
‘He wanted the same of me once. You see, he blamed me for his only son’s death. He said I stopped his son riding and shooting so he was not a good enough horseman for the hunt. But his son was a quiet, studious gentleman. He did not want to hunt. His father made him do it.’
‘Old Hesley’s son was thrown from his horse,’ Harriet said slowly. ‘How well did you know him?’
‘He came to our readings in the old Dissenters’ House. We shared so much,’ Anna said. ‘I became his wife. Our son was a babe in arms, not long born, when he was killed and I was so angry with old Hesley. He was grieving too, I realize now, but we argued and shouted and fought, and I - I attacked him with a dinner fork. The tines were sharp. I drew blood and, at the time, I was not sorry.’ She shuddered and swayed a little in her chair. ‘But I should have been.’
Harriet was astounded. She would have liked a strong drink to calm her agitation, but that was not possible in this house. She moved a chair to sit beside Anna and put an arm about her shoulders. ‘This is too distressing for you. Do not go on.’
‘I must. It has been a secret from you for too long. Of all people you will understand. After I had attacked him, he took my baby from me and had me put away in the asylum.’
‘In here?’ This was too much to bear. ‘Oh, Anna, how dreadful.’
‘Toby was in America, our parents had died and old Hesley would have nothing more to do with me. I wanted to write to Toby, but I had no paper or ink. Or anyone to help me. He came home eventually for reasons of his own, and I thank the Lord every day for that. When he found me, he took me out. But I could not go back to my son. Or even acknowledge that he is mine. Old Hesley had insisted on that.’
Then her son must be young Hesley, Harriet thought, and wondered how much Anna knew about him. ‘What happened to your baby?’ she asked.
‘I do not know. Toby wrote to the lawyers to ask if I might see him, but they refused. I suppose old Hesley brought him up. Another Hesley in his image. He was keen on his blood line.’
‘Oh, Anna, this must have been so awful for you. I had no idea. How on earth do you get through your days knowing you have a son you cannot see?’
‘I help others. It gives me hope of a kind, and I have my faith. But I should dearly like to see my son.’
Harriet blew out her cheeks, wondering if it were possible now old Hesley was dead. His cruelty had held no bounds, she thought angrily. ‘I should like to dance on old Hesley’s grave,’ she whispered.
‘I too.’
‘Then I shall,’ Harriet responded firmly. ‘I shall go to his funeral, watch as he is lowered into the ground and bury that part of my life with him. I shall lay his ghost to rest for both of us.’ Harriet glanced at the letter. ‘But women don’t go to funerals as a rule.’
‘They are not expected to, I grant you, but it will be a grand affair and no one can prevent you watching from beneath the trees.’
‘Can I be spared from here?’
‘Indeed you can, now that I am here.We have a capable teacher in the inmate you have trained.The governor wrote of it to Toby. The asylum doctor is to approach the trustees about including our lessons as part of the treatment for some, and providing more funding. Thanks to you, my work here is a success.’
‘I shall not be gone for long,’ Harriet said.
‘Well, Toby will not be at the funeral. His mission is with the Mexton labourers, not the gentry.You need not see him if you do not wish it.’
‘Why should I not wish to see him?’
‘As I told you, he has a wife now.’
‘So?’
Anna gazed at her frankly. ‘I did not realize you cared for him in that way until I spoke of his marriage.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘You do.’
Harriet sank on to her chair.‘It is true I had harboured hopes for more than friendship with him, but he has made his choice and I must live with that. I will stay with one of the leaders in the town, at least until he and his wife are more settled in their home.’
‘We shall visit them together, later in the year, when the weather improves,’ Anna suggested.
Chapter 26
Harriet watched from the trees as the polished oak coffin adorned with brass was lowered into the ground. She thought that black ebony would have been better for him. A cold black coffin for a man with a cold black heart, like the cold black coal he mined.
It took her several minutes to identify young Hesley. He seemed so much older and thinner, and he staggered as he took up his position as chief mourner. She remembered how his grandfather had dominated his life and wondered if he had ever asked about his mother, or been told the truth. She considered the possibility that Anna might be able to see her son now that old Hesley was dead and gone.
Mr Harvey, the apothecary, was standing beside him, supporting his elbow as he swayed. Then they were lost from view as the grave was surrounded by dark-coated gentlemen in tall black hats, clustering around the vicar.
With a start she recognized the principal from Blackstone. She shrank back into the trees. Dear heaven, she did not want to meet him. He must have been aware of the reputation of Hill Top House, and also that she had been keen to go there. He had probably known all along what would happen to her. She did not notice the tall gentleman behind Hesley at the back of the gathering until the service was over and he detached himself from the group to walk in her direction.
Jared was standing next to his father when he spotted her, half hidden beneath the trees, to see her former lover buried. He supposed she had heeded her conscience in the end and left before she was sent away, after Olivia had married. Still, he expected that old Hesley had paid her handsomely for her services. He might have been mean with his miners but he was not so with his women.The vicar had finished and the mourners were moving away.
<
br /> ‘We are invited for sherry and biscuits at the Red Lion,’ his father murmured in his ear.
‘You go ahead. There’s someone I want to talk to.’
‘Hesley first.’
‘Of course.’
Jared approached Olivia’s husband, offered his hand and a few words of condolence. Hesley’s grip was weak and his eyes vacant. Jared had not seen him for several weeks and was shocked by the deterioration in his appearance. He looked enquiringly at Adam Harvey, who shook his head to urge him to move on. Clearly it was more than grief that was bringing Hesley down. Jared turned his attention to the woman in the trees.
Even though he had disapproved of the governess as old Hesley’s lover, he owned to thanking God that she was there. In fact, his heart was racing as he approached her. She might know where Olivia was. Perhaps she had come on Olivia’s account, even, to report on how her husband was faring. Why else would she wish to pay her respects to a man she claimed had corrupted her? Could Olivia be living with her? He frowned. If they were together he was anxious about the life they might be leading.
As soon as Harriet saw Jared her heart soared. He would have news of Olivia! She waited patiently for him to reach her.
‘Miss Trent.’ He nodded curtly. He did not sound friendly.
‘Sir.’ She curtsied. ‘I trust you are well.’ He nodded, but his face was stony and she rushed on, ‘Mrs Mexton is also in good health?’
His expression changed so suddenly and so alarmingly that she blinked.
‘Is she not with you?’ he demanded.
‘With me? Why should she be with me?’
‘Because she idolized you.You must have known it.’
Harriet felt a thrill of pleasure course through her, which was quickly followed by regret that she had had to leave her - and then anxiety.
‘Hesley would not have expected her at the funeral, would he?’ she asked.
She watched the colour drain from Jared’s face and his expression turn to grief. His eyes looked haunted.
‘You have not seen her?’ His voice was hoarse. ‘You were my last hope. I was certain you would know where she was.’
‘Surely Hesley made arrangements for her in the town?’
‘Hesley has no care for her, and has not since she left him.’
‘Left him?’
‘She walked out one day and has not been seen since.’
‘Olivia is no longer living at Hill Top House?’
‘She disappeared some months ago. She took the pony and trap out early and it was found abandoned on the Sheffield road.’
‘No!’ Tears sprang to Harriet’s eyes. ‘But where did she go?’
‘I thought you might be able to tell us. I thought she would be with you.’
‘Did not Hesley search for her?’
‘I believe he tried. I have been looking for her ever since I heard she had gone. When someone said you had been to the new chapel in town I hoped she had gone after you.The alternative does not bear thinking about.’
Surely she cannot be dead. ‘Was there no trace of her at all?’
Jared shook his head.
‘Then where is she?’
‘I wish I knew. I have even travelled to Bristol. Olivia’s grandmother came from there. I guessed she might have fled to her. She is dead, but no one had seen Olivia.’
‘Were they not concerned for her well-being?’
Jared guffawed. ‘Olivia’s Bristol kin didn’t approve of her grandmother’s marriage to Samuel Mexton in the first place. They thought that coal was dirty and beneath them. Olivia’s father might have been a lawyer but in their eyes he was of the same standing as a servant. They believed he had married Olivia’s mother for her fortune.’
Harriet knew about how Olivia’s grandmother had prevented Olivia’s father squandering her fortune by forming the trust for her. Perhaps with good reason, she thought wistfully.
‘Besides,’ Jared continued, ‘they have plenty of sons and she was a girl, someone else’s responsibility.They were slave traders, you know. I was relieved, in a way, that she hadn’t run to them. Did you send for her?’
‘No! I was unhappy about her marriage, but I thought Hesley might come back from the West Indies as a more mature gentleman.’ Her eyes were glassy.
‘But you knew his grandfather. Did you expect him to turn out differently?’
‘I hoped he might, for Olivia’s sake. Has no one seen her?’ She looked him square in the eye as the first tears spilled onto her cheeks.
Jared thought her grief was genuine but he was not sure whether it was for Olivia or the old rake who had just been lowered into the ground. He glanced over her, taking in her appearance for the first time. She was neatly dressed in a quiet, understated way. Plain gown, well cared-for, polished boots peeping out as she lifted her skirts from the wet grass, a cloak that was not opulent but made of decent cloth and serviceable. This was the dress of a housekeeper, he thought, and wondered where she was employed.
‘Not a soul,’ he said. ‘I was sure she would try to find you. She was devastated when you left.’
‘I - I had to,’ Harriet said. ‘The master was a wicked man. I only stayed as long as I did because of Olivia.’
Jared remembered how Olivia had blamed herself when Miss Trent left. ‘Where did you go?’ he asked.
‘There’s an asylum on the far side of the Riding. I found a position there.’
This was not what he had expected and his eyes widened.
‘I work with a mission, and some of the inmates,’ she continued.
A mission? That was how Sarah had heard Miss Trent’s name. Suddenly he knew how important it was to make friends with the governess. She held the key to finding Olivia. She knew Olivia better than anyone and could ask questions of other ladies where he could not.
‘Are you staying in town, Miss Trent? We should talk more.’
Harriet answered truthfully, giving the leader’s name, and adding, ‘You may reach me through the meeting room near the beast market.’
Jared offered his arm. ‘May I walk you into town?’
‘Thank you, but I shall stay here a little longer. I want to watch the sexton fill in the grave.’
‘Just to be sure?’ he queried lightly.
She nodded, and gave him the vestige of a smile. ‘I will help to tamp down the soil.’
Jared moved through the mourners at the Red Lion until he was standing beside his father. ‘Have you asked about Olivia?’
‘No one’s heard anything and no one seems to care apart from us. Whom did you meet in the churchyard?’
‘The governess. She hadn’t seen Olivia either and she was my last hope.’
‘You talked to her?’
‘She was at the burial.’
‘I didn’t see her.’
‘She was watching from the trees.’
‘So she cared for the old goat after all.’
‘Hardly. She wanted to dance on his grave.’
‘I see. And she knows nothing of Olivia?’
‘No. But she is as concerned as we are. She was very close to her. For a governess, at any rate.’
‘What is she doing now?’
‘She teaches at the asylum, of all places.’
‘Are folk in there capable of learning?’
‘Some of them must be. I’m going to speak more with her. She knew Olivia and I will not give up hope. I mean to find her and, together, we shall search until we do.’
Chapter 27
‘Are you awake, my dear?’
Livvy feigned sleep, knowing that Toby was too well-mannered to wake her. But as she listened to him drawing on his nightshirt she knew that if she did not do her duty tonight he would expect it of her in the morning. If anything, he would be more vigorous then.
She loved living at the old farm and she was able to tolerate being his wife in all respects but this. It was because she did not love him as a husband that this aspect of her marriage was distasteful to her. She fe
lt used by him and it was her own fault. She had thought that her lack of love for him would not matter. But it did. Without desire, without passion, she felt as though she was selling herself to him for the price of a home. It was no different from Hesley’s wager, when Jessup had so cruelly invaded her body. At first she had been able to endure Toby’s attentions, but she despised him for his appetites.
The following morning she woke early and slipped out of bed to wash and dress, disturbing him.
‘Why so early, Livvy? Come back to bed.’
‘I must get the fire lit.’
‘Not for another half-hour, surely.’
‘It’s chilly. There is a north wind blowing.’
‘Half an hour, my dear.’
His tone was firm and she knew what he meant. ‘I already have my corset on.’
‘Then take it off. You are my wife.’ It was the first time he had spoken to her in their chamber in such an authoritative fashion.
But she could not obey him. Silently she stepped into her gown and buttoned the bodice. He slid up the bed and watched her with a grim face. She picked up her stockings, garters and boots and went downstairs.
The fire was drawing well when he joined her in the kitchen and she turned to him with her best bright smile. ‘Oh, you are dressed. The water will soon be hot and I was going to bring it upstairs for your shave.’
‘Sit down, my dear.’ He stood in front of the window, blocking out the grey dawn.
She looked at her hands, grubby from laying the fire. ‘I must wash—’
‘Please sit down.’
He did not say it loudly, but his tone told her she should obey and she sank into the fireside chair.
‘Are you quite well?’
‘Of course.’
‘You were like this with me once before.’
She looked down and swallowed. It was nothing to do with that. A few months after their marriage ceremony her monthly courses, never regular, had been so much more than usual and very painful. A repetition of a similar incident after she was married to Hesley. No one had explained to her what was wrong then, not even Miss Trent. She had told her what Mr Harvey had said. It was because she was so young to be a bride and all would be well when she was older.The matter had not been discussed again.
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