‘Perhaps Harriet will travel with you.’
‘I would not ask her to leave Anna and Toby. Anna has passed on her asylum mission to others and they are talking of a new venture at the old farmhouse.’
‘I cannot bear to think of you in gaol.’ She detected anguish in his voice and realized he knew the conditions she would have to endure.
She had caused him too much distress. ‘It will not be for long.’ But as she spoke she thought of how she had stolen and destroyed the record book, and that if Jessup got her before the magistrate he would now be her enemy. He would be vengeful, she was sure. ‘They will not hang me, will they?’
‘Not for bigamy.’
‘Or transport me to the colonies?’
‘You will be locked up, I am afraid. The magistrate is harder on women than men in these matters. More so, if a husband is obliged to cast aside his wife, as Hesley is.’
Livvy stood by the gate that led to the cottage’s back yard and kicked restlessly against its wooden post. She wanted to take his hand and hold it, draw strength from it. But she feared he would push her away. In the yellow glow from the lantern she noticed Jared’s riding boots, scuffed and dusty from his long day’s work at the pit. His head was bare and his hair was long, curling over his collar. He must be exhausted, waiting for her to return before he rode home. But she was pleased that he had, and responded brightly, ‘The constable has not come for me yet.’
He raised the light and peered closely at her face. ‘Do not treat this matter lightly, Olivia. Mr Withers says that if criminals are repentant for their actions they find favour with the magistrate.’
‘Of course I am repentant! It was wrong of me to marry Toby. I did not wish it and I told him so. I offered to live with him as his wife without a ceremony.’
The horror on Jared’s features silenced her. What would he think of her after such an admission? But it was the truth and she could not hide it from him.
‘You must not say that in front of the magistrate,’ he replied. ‘It will make matters worse for you. And it will ruin your character for ever.’
‘Oh, I see. It was all right for Uncle Hesley to keep a mistress in town, but not for me live as one?’
‘It is the way things are.You must see that too.’
‘Oh, yes. I see that very well.’
‘Please try to be calm. I have a solution that may help you.’
‘What is it?’
‘You must demonstrate your repentance.’
‘You sound like Harriet.’
‘Be sensible, for Heaven’s sake! Hesley is your lawful husband. You must return to him and live in his house.’
‘Never.’
‘Where is your reason? If you show the town that you have mended your ways, you have a chance of a more lenient sentence.’
‘I cannot live with Hesley. Or, indeed, in that house. It will destroy me. My memories of it are all bad.’
‘All?’
There was such kindness in his tired eyes, and such gentleness in his voice, that a sharp response died on her lips.
‘I believe you were happy there once,’ he murmured.
‘Before my marriage. When Harriet was my governess. And - and you were my friend.’
‘I am still your friend.’
She did not doubt it, and loved him even more for not deserting her now. But was that all he was to her? She wished so desperately that he was more than a friend, that they were lovers and could run away together to France, to live as husband and wife, and never return to her terrible memories at Hill Top House.
She wondered if she could persuade him to take her abroad. She believed he would if she insisted. But as the notion flitted through her mind she knew it could never be. She could not ask him to abandon his responsibilities at the pit. The livelihood of too many folk depended on him.The Mexton colliers respected him and, in time, he would take over his father’s forge as well. The South Riding needed him as much as she did. She must stay and take her punishment. ‘I’m frightened, Jared. I’ve done a wicked thing.’
She was thinking also of Jessup’s book at the bottom of the canal. Her impulsive gesture had compounded her already uncertain situation.
‘Try not to worry,’ Jared said quietly. ‘Mr Withers says he will speak for you at the court.’
‘You have told him I am here?’
‘He guessed. He had heard the rumour and I - I have been seeking his advice.’
She pulled her cloak closer around herself. ‘He is a law-abiding gentleman. He will have to tell the magistrate.’
She was right. Jared knew he had to persuade her to return to Hesley, no matter the cost to himself. His hand moved of its own accord to hers and she clasped it tightly, causing his pulses to race. He breathed deeply to quell his pounding heart. ‘Let us go inside to the warmth. There is something else we must talk about.’
They went into the kitchen of the Wiltons’ terraced cottage. The fire burned brightly and she lit a candle. In the increased light she saw that not only were Jared’s boots dusty, but his jacket and trousers rumpled and greasy. She took off her cloak and bonnet and hung them behind the door, realizing that her own appearance was dishevelled and grubby. Hastily she took down a large apron, tied it over her bodice and skirt, then pulled on a cotton cap.
Jared drew two chairs closer to the fire ‘Hesley is still your husband and there are decisions to be made about his - er - future.’
‘Not by me, surely? You and Adam Harvey can do that.’
‘You are his wife.’
‘But he has disowned me! No one will listen to me so why do you ask?’
‘Hill Top House needs you too. It is your home, where you belong. If you return to Hesley and show you have reformed, it will help Mr Withers to plead your case at the trial. You might find a little happiness there. Somewhere.’
If you were there I should, Livvy thought. She had been truly happy there for such a short time, from the Christmas when she had met Jared and sat in her grandfather’s coach with him, then on the slopes beyond the little church until he had ordered her not to think of him as more than a friend. She would willingly have given him all her love, all of herself. She would do it now if she had thought he would accept it.
She thought he might have loved her before Toby had found them together. But he had a position to uphold in the Riding and he would suffer if he was associated with her in that way. He would seek companionship and love from a genteel, respectable lady, like his mother or sisters, not from a bigamist adulteress who was now also a thief. Lord, what had she become? She was lucky to have a friend like Jared, who would not snub her in the roadway. She wondered how much longer she could suffer the frustration of having only his friendship.
‘And you were, at least, content with Harriet at Hill Top House?’ he continued.
‘Perhaps,’ she said. ‘I enjoyed learning.’
‘You have a right to return.You are Hesley’s legal wife.’
‘Surely he will not have me over the threshold?’
‘He is mad, Livvy. Insane. I am his legal attorney.’
‘You? I thought that was Jessup.’
For the first time that evening she detected a smile on his lips. ‘I have the power to make Hesley’s decisions for him.That is why I am running the mine.’
‘Do you own Mexton Pit? And Hill Top House?’
He gave a soft laugh. ‘I do not own any of it. I am simply responsible for it.’ He stopped smiling and added, ‘And you.’
‘So that is why you visit me here? Because I am your responsibility? ’
‘Is that what you think? You are a suspicious woman.’
‘You would be suspicious if you’d been through what I’ve been through.’
He glared at her.‘How do you know what I’ve been through since you disappeared?’
She covered her eyes with a hand and pushed the cotton cap back from her brow. She could feel the agitation rising in her breast. Fear of the future was always uppe
rmost in her mind, he should know that. She heard him get up and rummage is the cupboard by the fire.
‘Have you finished the brandy?’ he muttered. ‘That is the only thing I have against the Methodists. They do not keep spirits in their houses.’
‘If you’d seen Hesley and his grandfather together, you’d know why.’
‘Have a little sympathy, Olivia. I was at the pit at five this morning, getting that steam engine up to pressure.’
Livvy stood up and took a metal tankard from the dresser. ‘Harriet brews beer. It’s in the scullery.’
Jared found a stone bottle of porter in the cupboard. He poured it into another tankard, then filled a wine muller with hot coals and warmed it for her. She took it from him, gave him the beer and they resumed their seats by the fire.
‘Do not quarrel with me, Olivia. This is difficult enough as it is.You must understand that returning to Hesley is your best chance of a light sentence,’ Jared persisted.
She sipped the porter. There was no honey in it but its warmth and robust bite were welcome. He was at the pit every day now, Harriet had told her, but she had not known he was there so early. Output was rising already, Harriet had said. The colliers welcomed Jared Tyler’s efforts.
‘I want to stay here, in Mexton,’ she said. Near to you, she thought.
‘No, Olivia.You have caused a scandal.You will be shunned.’
‘I’ll help in the mission,’ she suggested.
‘With Toby? You cannot do that to him. This is as painful for me as it is for you, but you must go back to Hesley.’
‘I can’t.’
He frowned. He could not persuade her and she would suffer more as a result. ‘Can you tell me what you want for Hesley?’ he asked. ‘I have to make a decision about his future.’
‘He is sick. Let the doctors decide.’ She heard a noise and voices in the scullery. ‘That’s Harriet. It sounds as though Anna is with her. They were carrying over curtains from the farmhouse for one of the villagers.’
‘What do you want me to do about Hesley?’ he persisted.
‘I cannot help him,’ she said. ‘No one can. Hesley will have to go to the asylum.’
‘No!’
Olivia and Jared turned. Anna was standing in the doorway to the scullery.‘Not the asylum,’ she said.
Harriet was standing behind her. ‘How bad is he, Jared?’ she asked.
‘I have no experience of these things,’ he replied, ‘but you have, both of you. You will know what to do and I should welcome your counsel.’
‘I should like to see him.’Anna said softly, and Harriet reached for her hand.
‘Olivia?’ Jared queried. ‘Will you come with us?’
She looked at the three waiting for her answer. It would mean going back to Hill Top House and she had vowed never to do that while Hesley was there.
‘I do not like that house . . . My memories . . .’
‘Then we must replace them with better ones,’ Jared said. ‘It is only a building made of stone and slate, wood and lime. Old Hesley made that house a bad place to live, but he has gone.’
She would be with Jared and she trusted him. He would not deceive her and use her as others had. He had always wanted to do what was best. For her, for Hesley even, and for the pit. Perhaps it would not be such an ordeal for her to return there if Jared was with her.
She nodded.
‘We’ll go tomorrow,’ Jared decided. ‘After I’ve been to the pit. I’ll bring the trap from home. We must make haste before the constable catches up with you.’
‘Madam! Ee, you made me jump.’
‘How are you, Mrs Cookson?’
The housekeeper was rummaging in the pantry and had not noticed them arrive.‘I never expected to see you up here again. Are you back for good?’
Olivia didn’t answer.
‘You’ll have heard about the young master?’
‘That’s why I’m here.’
‘I’ve heard a tale or two about you, an’ all, but I’m right glad to see you.’
Olivia looked around the untidy shelves.‘Are Mary and Eliza still with you?’
‘They are. But they have to do most of my work now I see to the master.’ Mrs Cookson appeared much older and her face was lined and tired. ‘Are you coming back, madam? We’re in a right pickle without you, these days.’
‘We’ll see,’ Olivia replied. ‘Miss Trent is with me. Will you take us up to him?’
They went into the hall, where Jared, Harriet and Anna were waiting, and climbed the dark wooden staircase to Hesley’s bedchamber. He was quite peaceful as he slept.
‘He’s quieter nowadays,’ Mrs Cookson told them. ‘He has medicines that do it and he doesn’t take the drink. But he needs seeing to all the time. It’s like having a newborn, with the feeding and the changing and the washing.’
‘Does he know who you are?’ Harriet queried.
‘Sometimes. Sometimes not.’
‘Will he die?’ Livvy asked.
‘We all die eventually,’ Mrs Cookson responded. ‘Are you going to take him away?’
‘He doesn’t have to be in the asylum,’ Harriet said. ‘He can be looked after here.’
‘Will you do it, then, Miss Trent?’ Mrs Cookson demanded.
They stood in silence around the bed. It was only then that Livvy noticed Anna, staring silently and - weeping. She was not mistaken. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.
‘I’ll do it,’ Anna said in a low voice. ‘I’ll look after him. If I may.’
‘Why would you want to do that?’ Livvy asked quietly.
Anna lifted her head. Her eyes were bright and her gentle lined face filled with sadness and pain. ‘He is my son,’ she said.
‘Anna, why don’t you sit down?’ Harriet had been the first to speak.
Livvy said,‘Hesley’s mother died when he was a baby. Shortly after his father was killed.’
‘No, she didn’t - I didn’t.’
Jared moved to stand before her and took her hand. ‘Are you saying that you are Aunt Sukie?’
Anna nodded.‘Susannah. I was baptized Susannah. After John Wesley’s mother. She was known as Sukie, too.’
‘Uncle Hesley said you were dead.’
‘I was to him.’
Jared put an arm round her shoulders and led her to a chair. ‘Why didn’t you tell us? This is too much for you to bear.’
‘You have been at the mission all the time?’ Livvy said.
Harriet intervened: ‘Anna was a patient at the asylum. Old Hesley put her there.’
Livvy choked with horror. ‘My God! If he were not dead I should kill him myself. Poor Anna.’
‘Poor Hesley.’ Anna stood up, walked to the bed and stroked her son’s sunken, pallid cheek. ‘Let me do this for him now.’
Harriet moved to the bed to be beside her and said quietly, ‘Jared, would you take Livvy downstairs? I’ll stay here with Anna.’
Standing in the gloomy hall, Livvy’s heart was thumping in her breast. ‘I should like some fresh air,’ she said.
He ached to hold and comfort her, yet he dared not. Her renewed devotion to her marriage vows must be unmistakable to everyone.‘We’ll walk together,’ he said. But apart, he thought.
She set off with him, past the walled garden with her fruit bushes and vegetable rows, now neglected and overgrown, and up the hill towards the little church on the moor. The wind was keen and they wrapped their cloaks closely about them as they climbed.
‘I can hardly take this in,’ she muttered.
‘Nor I. A lifetime of separation. A whole lifetime.’
‘And Anna’s mission at the asylum, too. To go back to the scene of so much of her suffering and help others in their misery. She is too good for this earth.’
‘She is a Methodist. They do not flinch from their duty. I admire them for that.’
‘You would make a good Methodist, Jared.’
‘Don’t say that to my mother.’ He laughed gently. Then he becam
e serious. ‘Poor Anna. You will agree to her request to look after Hesley, won’t you?’
‘Of course. She has endured such hardship. I shall help her where I can.’
‘Does that mean you will move into Hill Top House?’
‘Why, yes. If Anna is determined, I shall return.’ Livvy stared at the rutted track beneath her feet. ‘But it will not be long before I am taken away.’
Her words sliced through him like a knife. ‘I hardly dare think of it. It pains me so,’ he muttered.
It pained Livvy, too, to think that her actions were the cause of Jared’s unhappiness. But her heartache amounted to nothing compared with Anna’s. She inhaled sharply, straightened her back and quickened her pace. ‘Do not grieve for me, Jared. I am young and strong. Whatever I have to endure, I am sure it cannot be as dreadful as the asylum.’
But he knew he would suffer every day that she was away. He said, ‘I shall make it known in town that you have returned to be with your ailing husband.’
‘Hesley will take Anna from her new venture in Mexton.’
‘Harriet is helping Toby to set up his mission school at the farmhouse. As soon as the pit is in profit again I shall be able to support them with money.’
‘You are a good man, Jared. The miners’ children will have an education.’
‘I hope so. The pasture is dry today. Shall we go across to our cottage?’
Jared was silent as they walked. She wondered if he was remembering the last time they had been there together. They had quarrelled because he would not kiss her and love her as she had wished him to.
‘I thought about you all time I was away,’ he said quietly.
‘I thought I saw you sometimes. In the distance. I always hoped it was you, but you never came back. And that made me more angry with you.’
‘We both know what would have happened if we’d met without Harriet to chaperone us.’
Yes. Yes, yes, yes! She had wanted it so much that she had ached for his touch. She glanced sideways. Her passion for him had not dimmed with their years of separation and her body still yearned to be possessed by his. She wondered if he could tell by looking at her. ‘They were good times, weren’t they?’ she said at last.
‘The best.’
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