by Rita Hestand
She stared up at him.
"So what did you want to do with me?" He grinned sexily.
She blushed.
"Come on, tell me," he dipped his head to her luscious lips. "Sometimes it helps just to talk things out."
She pushed him away gently. She sat up again, "I wanted to kiss you all over that beautiful chest of yours, and down that sexy strip of hair on your tummy to your belt buckle. I wanted to make love with you!"
He grinned again. "I don't see anything wrong with that, but do you think we could stop?"
"N-no…." she sighed, then chuckled until he laughed too.
He leaned over her and kissed her until she was breathing hard. She pushed him away and put a piece of straw in her mouth.
"Talk to me…take my mind off of it." She begged softly.
"All right. I guess I ought to tell you about my outlaw days." He suggested laying back on the hay now, relaxing. But he stroked her cheek gently as he spoke, "I met Armando just this side of the border. He'd been outlawing for some time. I was angry, hurt, and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. He asked me to join him. For some reason there was immediate trust between us."
"How long were you with him?"
"Four years."
"He taught me how to use my gun, how to drink liquor without getting hung over and how to rob. We did fairly well, but we never could fully enjoy what we'd gained. And there were many expenses since we had to hide out so much. So the profits sometimes were not worth the effort. When one of the youngest was killed from our gang, I took a second look at what I was doing. I told Armando I wanted out. Although the others objected, he was the leader and he permitted me to leave, with the promise I would never come back to Mexico. I kept that promise."
"Were you sorry you left?"
"No, I'd had enough, and one of the men, he was gun happy. He murdered a man. It upset me, then when Julio died, I decided that was it."
"Were you close to Armando?" She asked, her breathing finally returning to normal now.
"Yes, he treated me like a brother. I got close to him. But, not to what we were doing. I guess, deep down, I just wasn't cut out to be a desperado. I tried to look the part, that's why I let my hair grow out, and grew a mustache and beard. I tried to act like a tough guy. But it never really fit me."
"Like I wasn't cut out to be a saloon girl." She admitted. "Most of the time I just laid there and let them have their way with me. I was pretty young when I started and it scared me witless. The men that took me did it because I was so young. I'd lay there, and concentrate on anything but a drunk man on top of me. I never got used to it. Never could enjoy it like some of the girls I knew. I'd take a bath after every one of them."
"You'd have never been one, if I'd have been here." He said and kissed her again. "It doesn't matter to me, Jen. You are my woman, my love, my life. And you mean more to me than my own life. And I want you just as bad as you want me. Sometimes when you put on a pretty dress, the only thing on my mind is taking it off. But now that I know the feelings are mutual, it makes it that much harder to resist taking you. Because making love should be mutual."
"If anything ever happens to me, promise me to remember me and never go back to being a desperado." She said softly.
"Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it!" He told her and kissed her hard on the lips. He pulled away to look into her eyes. "We have a good thing here with Noah. Promise me, if anything happens to me, you won't go back to the saloons."
"I promise. Jace…I love you!"
"God, I love hearing you say that!" He kissed her again.
Two days later, Jace and Noah worked hard as usual, but now were planning on a longer trip into the hills to capture as many mustangs as they could. They'd be gone a few days this next trip.
It worried Jace to leave Jen there. He wasn't sure why it worried him so. Maybe because he'd never been this happy and he was afraid something might happen to change things. Mabye because he just simply hated leaving her for any length of time.
"Want to come along?" Noah asked her. As he tied his blanket with all his supplies and made ready for the morning. He didn't want her along, but for Jace's sake, he'd ask her.
Jen looked at both of them. She wanted to, but she also knew that there were times when she shouldn't. This was one of those times. They would be working and she didn't belong with them. She knew she'd have to give Jace some slack, and let him have his man times. But she also knew she'd miss him like crazy, and Noah too, only in a different way.
"No, I have plenty to do here. I'm planning on making some lye soap, we're getting low on it, that will take a day or two." She told them. "And we're low on butter, so I'll churn some for us while the two of you are gone. I've got a lot of things to get done before the wedding."
"I wish you'd change your mind, honey." Jace told her that night before they left.
"No, you two go on, the wedding will be here before you know it and I want to catch up on some irregular chores beforehand so I can relax a little before the wedding." Jen told him as they strolled outside.
He held her hand and squeezed it when he looked at her.
They stopped at the barn and he leaned against the door for a moment, staring at her. She was wearing another pair of pants, that were tight, and a shirt, but on her, it made her look so soft and touchable. Many times he'd nearly lost control around Jen. She had no idea how alluring she was.
"Not getting cold feet I hope."
She smiled, "No…I'll admit I'm a little nervous, but that's just me."
"You aren't biting your fingernails again are you? I remember as a kid that's what you did when you were nervous." He took her hands in his and inspected them. They were bit to the quick almost.
"I can't help it."
He smiled. He pulled her into the barn and took her hand as he guided her up the ladder to the loft.
His finger curled under her chin to lift her head to the moonlight. "Now why would you be nervous?"
"Never been married before…" She murmured.
"Neither have I but I got a feeling we'll both take to it like ducks to water." He smiled.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything." He smiled.
"Did you and Rebecca ever…."
"No." He stopped her quickly. "I was younger back then, and not as sure as I am of myself now. Besides, your father put the fear of God in me at the time."
"I'm not Rebecca…" She cried, a tear falling.
Jace frowned as he stared at her through the moonlight. "It's Jenny Mae Carter I'm in love with…I'm a man now, not a boy. I know what I want. And what I want…is you!"
She lifted her lashes and stared into his sincere face. "And my working in a saloon…that doesn't bother you?"
He smiled as his hand held her face, and his thumbs stroked her cheeks. "All that means to me is I won't have some frightened little kitten in my arms, but a woman, fully growed and in love with…me."
"Oh Jace," she went into his arms and their kiss was so warm and heartfelt. It was the way he held her, the way his lips caressed her, the way he groaned when he pulled away, as though he didn't want to pull away.
It was obvious that tension sparked between them. They were both so aware of each other. The longing they were enduring was painfully sweet. They both wanted to be together so badly, and not being together became almost like a constant lightning bolt between them. They shot each other looks of desire at the strangest moments.
"You got the sweetest kisses, honey." He smiled into her questioning face.
"I've never been in love before Jace. Sometimes, it consumes me…like now when you kiss me so tender like. No one's ever kissed me quite like you do. No one has ever looked at me the way you do, either."
"How are my kisses any different?" He chuckled.
"Don't laugh, I've been kissed plenty of times, Jace. But when you kiss me, I start to day dream. It takes my breath away. You're always so gentle with me."
Whe
n it got quiet between them she looked at him. "I was insanely jealous of you and Kate." She admitted and dropped her head.
He quickly moved toward her, to lift her chin and see the rush of a blush on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. But…if it's any consolation, I had no feelings for her at all. And her kisses were cold and calculated. Everything she did was to seduce, and everything I did was to get information from her."
"She was so beautiful."
"Not like you. Never like you, sweetheart."
"She had so much to offer you, money, beauty—"
"She had nothing to offer me. She had nothing I wanted."
"Oh come on Jace, you had to want her a little."
He stammered and it shocked her, "What shocked me about her, was that she would have let me do anything. She put herself on a platter and offered."
"Were you tempted."
"Only for a bit. When a man hasn't had a woman in a while, something like that will tempt a man…kind of like a whore, you know…you know she won't feel anything from it, or feel bad about doing it, so you're tempted to take what is offered, but…what I wanted most was you! Still do!"
"She was so bold, so daring…"
"Ruthless is more the word I'd use."
"I've always felt…I don't know, as though I don't have as much to offer a man as most women. Rebecca was so beautiful, Kate too…I'm plain compared to them. I don't have big breasts; I mean…the kind men want to lay their head on…."
"Honey, don't ever underestimate yourself. In those pants you wore, and that shirt that was too big for you, you may not have realized it but you turned me into an inferno. And when you came to curl up in my lap…God, it was all I could do not to take you then. We'd only been together a day and I wrapped my arms around you and nearly lost it. You see, you'd been standing in the sunlight, and that shirt you had on was thin in the sunlight and I could see an outline. You weren't wearing anything binding there, so I could see you, that's what I meant when I mentioned you wearing pants. It wasn't the pants so much as that damned shirt. I thought about laying you down, and kissing you there. I so wanted to kiss you there, and I've never quite gotten the image out of my head. I was so ready for you I couldn't move for a full five minutes. You were perfect. It was like the time you saw me with my shirt off. You wanted me then. I wanted you way back then. There's no difference, except, we love each other. And sometimes I dream about doing it."
She stared for a long time.
"I wasn't trying to seduce you. I didn't realize…"
"I know that honey. But it didn’t make it any less painful."
"You talk about making love as though there are rules to abide by." She whispered.
"Jenny, do you want me to touch you?" He asked leaning over her now.
Her eyes flew to his, "Yes…" she admitted and closed her eyes. "Make me yours Chance…now…"
"You don't want to wait?" He asked softly.
"No! I want you to claim me…now."
He touched his lips to hers and instantly she responded, the fire that had been building for so long seemed to consume them now. He kissed her mouth, then down to her ear, then to her neck, and he looked at her shirt. Slowly his hands moved to unbutton it. With each button he spread the shirt away from her, his lips following the same trail as his hands. By the third button he saw the sweet curve of her breast and he gasped, he gently moved the shirt away from her. Startled by the perfection of her small breasts he gazed upon her for so long.
He glanced up once, "I commit my love to you now and forever." He whispered just before his lips came down to suckle softly upon the pink aroura of her nipple. His tongue laved her there as he watched her body react to his touches.
They were perfectly formed, soft to the touch, addictive to the taste. As his lips caressed her there, his hand reached for the other and manipulated it into a hard nub. They were high, and lifted for him. He supped one then the other for long lingering moments and she began to move beneath him, squirming for some release.
He unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it away and off of her. He worked his way downward to her belly, while his hands played against her bosom.
She sighed and cooed and moaned from his touches. But before he could go any further, she rolled him over and started unbuttoning his shirt. She kissed him solidly on the mouth as her hands reached to undo his shirt, and spread it away from him. She touched the hard nubs of his nipples and smiled against his lips.
When she looked at him, she saw pure desire staring back at her. She pressed her breasts against his chest and he sighed into her ear.
She moved downward slowly, as her lips left his mouth, to his chin, to his neck, to the expanse of his chest and finally to the burging nipples that awaited her touch. Her lips surrounded his nipples, gently pulling on them, her tongue flicked against them, he squirmed to pull her fully against him.
She felt his readiness and smiled into his eyes. "I've dreamed of this day!" She cooed.
She drove him crazy with her wet kisses to his nipples.
He stood her up, his arms wrapping around her back where he pet her, running his hands all over her back, pressing her chest against his.
He shook against her, "God, I want you, woman!"
"I'm yours," she whispered as their lips found each other.
But Noah was making obvious noises below and they knew it could go no further.
He stopped, she stopped.
He kissed her hard. "I guess this will have to do for now." He whispered as he reached for her shirt. He put it on her buttoning it, but just before he hid her breasts, he took them into his mouth and kissed them tenderly. I'm sure gonna remember this day." He chuckled softly.
She swooned and reached for his shirt. Kissing him before she buttoned it.
He lifted her chin, "I'm sorry sweetheart."
She smiled, "I'm not!"
"You better get in the house now!" He grinned.
She nodded.
He watched her go back inside and he knew it would be a while before he could even move. He didn't mind, because he knew someday that beautiful young woman would be his and he couldn't wait to show her the love he felt!
Loving Jen was an experience that shocked him. Just the little things she did for him, said to him, wrapped around his heart like a strong rope. And there was a trust that bonded their very souls together. He knew that.
Tonight he'd go to bed alone and dream of the day he'd make her his. But he had a lot more to dream about now, for he had glimpsed a part of her that he'd never forget, her beautiful, young pouting breasts.
He wished he'd had the time to take her, but he wouldn't rush his time with her. He wanted to pleasure her, and her him.
Still, in the back of his mind, it niggled that he was leaving her for a few days. Was this all just a part of being in love, and not wanting to be apart. Or was there something eerie playing in his mind? It worried him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next morning, they rode out to the north, and Jen began to busy herself with making lye soap. She used to love helping her mother make it when she was little. But now the memories of her mother were vague and she hoped this would bring back those memories of good times.
Noah left her some tallow from his supplies that he made up last time. Jen gathered the wood ashes from the fireplace and put them in a wooden hopper. She poured water over them to soak them. The soaking took some time and she tended to her regular chores while she waited.
The water that seeped out of the bottom of the wooden hopper made her lye water in the bucket beneath it. After it seeped, she poured it into a huge iron kettle over the fire outside in the back of the house. Noah had a place he used just for this kind of thing.
Noah and Jace had set it up for her before they left knowing she was going to make up a batch.
Jen stared out at the beautiful pastures, she'd never felt so secure, so loved in all her life. This was home. She felt it in her bones, in her soul. This is where she wanted to have her ch
ildren and raise them right with love and patience. Her heart swooned at the thought of having Jace's children. She whispered a short prayer that God would keep Jace and Noah safe always when they were away.
Sighing with new contentment, she began her chores.
She added the tallow and stirred the mixture over the fire until it began to thicken. She found the containers that Noah had used before to make molds for the soap and poured them into them to set up. By now she was sopping wet with sweat and tired from stirring so much. Her hands were still dirty from the ash, but she dusted them off and continued with her task. It was midday now and she rested for a bit. She had worn a pair of old overalls that were soft and comfortable, and she wouldn't mind getting dirty in.
It was time for a bath, so she went to the creek and took her clean clothes with her. She washed her hair and felt invigorated by the cool water.
Later that afternoon, after the soap had set up a bit, she cut the soap into squares and put them in the window seals to harden. By the next day she'd have all the lye soap she'd need for a while.
Proud of herself, she went to bed that first night happy and content.
Her thoughts rushed to all the things Jace had said and she sighed happily. She never dreamed that Jace would come back after Rebecca died, nor that she and Jace might have a future. Happiness filled her.
She planned on getting up early the next day to tend to some sewing. Noah had several buttons missing from his shirts and Jace had torn his sleeve on one. She would mend them and hang them up. She also wanted to catch up on the clothes washing too. But the main thing she had planned was making butter. They were running low and it took some time and effort to make it, so she wanted to start that early.
She made breakfast and determined to feed all the animals first, she gathered the chicken scratch and went out to feed the chickens.
She didn't hear the rider come up into the yard. But when a hand came over her mouth, she looked up startled.
"What!" She shouted just as the man drug her to his horse and laid her upon it. He went to the door, and as she looked up, she saw him put some kind of note on it. He climbed behind her and they rode off.
