“Let it go? No, I don’t think I will. She could change everything, and you want me to sit on my hands and do nothing about it?”
“I’m sorry.” At first I thought he was talking to me, trying to excuse his brother’s errant behavior, and then I realized he was apologizing to Julius. He looked at me and nodded. I didn’t want to walk with him, but I was still lost and wanted to put as much distance as possible between Julius and I.
“I will figure it out you know,” Julius called after me, his voice echoing in the barren corridor. “Whatever it takes.”
Knowledge was power. And Julius thought I had a power that I did not…something told me he really would do whatever he could to expose that. “What was he talking about?” I asked.
James didn’t offer me a glance. Instead, he looked straight ahead like he hadn’t heard. So I asked again. “It’s nothing that concerns you.” He said.
“It doesn’t concern me?” I laughed. “Really? Cause it sounded like it was all about me.”
He was silent until we got to my door and I went inside. I made to slam it in his face, but he reacted quickly, sliding his foot between the doorjamb and stepping inside. As assertive as that action was, he stood in the doorway still, looking around with a tentative, almost fearful hesitance. He seemed to realize I wasn’t going to be inviting him in, so he took a small step forward. “Are you alright?” He asked, after a few moments of my glaring silence.
I might have laughed, but instead I muttered, “Just peachy.”
James seemed unperturbed by my sarcasm. “I’ve been thinking about what you said…how I don’t know you. I’d like to know how to help you, though.” His words made me suspicious, but he spoke calmly. “You said that nothing could be worse than what you came from. I assumed you’d chosen that lifestyle, as most do, but I need to know…were you turned against your will or did you want to become a vampire?”
I appraised him stonily. His dark hair fell in soft-looking little waves, like it were just tousled from the beach. His eyes, despite looking tired, were level. Everything about him was calm, at ease. I didn’t have a mirror to glance at, but I suspected I looked like the total opposite. I was the total opposite, the very antithesis of everything he stood for. But I wasn’t above giving him a taste of his own medication.
I sat on the bed and crossed my arms, pointedly looking away from him.
“Lilith, just tell me.” His voice bordered on a plea. It was only a small satisfaction.
“Oh, now you want to talk? You expect me to tell you every little thing that you want to know and then refuse to tell me anything?”
“Please,” He sounded exhausted. “I know you don’t understand but I need to know if that was the life you asked for?”
“I don’t know if your sense of entitlement comes from the fact that your father is the King or the fact that you’re just selfish, but I assure you, the world isn’t yours for the taking. I am not yours for the taking.” Defiance made my words sound bitter and juvenile, particularly considering that I was kind of still at his whim.
James didn’t so much as blink. He exercised careful keep of his emotions, which I found all the more infuriating. I couldn’t tell if my words were having the effect I sought. “If you were forced into that life, it changes things.”
“Oh,” I laughed. “Does it? Does it change the fact that I’ll never get that time back, never be able to forget what it was like?”
“So you wanted to be turned.” James concluded. The insinuation disgusted me, which is why I was provoked enough to even answer him.
“I didn’t choose anything. I was never offered a choice, not about what I am or what I hope to be.” I looked away, because finally, I got a reaction from him. But it wasn’t one I liked. It was something unreadable with maybe a touch of pity. “Children don’t understand that they’re different until everyone tries to make them the same. I can’t be turned, for reasons that I may never know. Be sure and tell that to your brother.”
“You can tell me,” James said, coming to sit on the bed by me. He kept his distance, whether because he was scared of me or repulsed by me. “Lilith, if they held you there against your will, just say it and I will make them pay.”
“Pay?” I raised an eyebrow. “For what, not suffocating me when I was a baby? I was born this way.”
That, at least, stunned him to silence—a brief but beautiful silence, in which he looked the way I must have earlier, trying to understand the depth of this information. “You were born…to a vampire?” I continued to glare at him. “That’s impossible.”
“Tell that to my father.” I snapped. “By the way, he’s the King over there, so if you want to play that card, I will too.” James blinked a few times while he considered it and then nodded. He stood to go, but then seemed to remember something. I tensed when he reached into the pocket of his dark jeans. A small white pill was pinched between his fingers. “I noticed earlier that you were holding your shoulder. This should help with the pain.”
I didn’t take it. I didn’t want to get close enough to him to take it. So he set it on the dresser and left in the next instant.
I stared at it for a while, wondering just what it was and if it would really get rid of the pain. It might, true to his word, but it might also kill me. It was a gamble. The pain was intermittent, sometimes non-existent and then excruciating the next minute. I decided not to take it—until I woke in the middle of the night and had to crawl to the dresser because I was so far doubled over. I didn’t understand what was happening, why the pain still curdled my blood. I didn’t contemplate it long. As soon as I popped the pill in my mouth, there was the promise of relief, though however fleeting I didn’t know.
Chapter Eight
In my dream, I’d been running for forever, my body so tired it could not move another inch. Thewoodspressed around me, a cloying blur of greenery. The scent of wet, turned up soil got caught in my lungs until it was too hard to breathe. I collapsed to the ground, and moments later he was there. Xian, at his knees by my side, was shaking me so that my head rattled to the ground and lay there limp when he stopped. Tears formed in his eyes, gathering like storm clouds, so foreign and exotic they possessed a beauty entirely their own. And as I awoke, reveling in his anguish, I was happy. Until I noticed James shaking me, his knees upon the bed, braced on either side of me.
His face was stricken with panic, which was an interesting look for him, but I barely had a moment to enjoy it before I felt his touch searing into my skin. I jumped back so hard I hit my head on the elegantly carved headboard. “What are you doing?” I demanded, drawing the blanket back with me, though the top I’d worn to bed was arguably less revealing then the dress Janna had forced me into the other day.
“Trying to wake you. Do you always sleep like the dead?” He shook his head, his voice carrying an accusation as mine had.
“Do you always climb on top of sleeping girls?” I fired back. His face was momentarily confused, and then when he took me in, as far as I could get away from him, his face turned a funny shade of scarlet. He jumped to his feet and brushed his hands over his jeans like that would get the feeling of my skin off of him.
"I brought you these," James offered me a very neatly folded stack of clothing. I recognized my own jeans, scoured clean of any blood or dirt, and a fresh shirt.
I accepted the bundle without letting my guard down, glaring at him.
"You'll want to get dressed." His voice was brusque. "We have a long journey ahead of us." I looked up at him, my eyes speaking the questions my tongue could not. "You're going home."
I knew, of course, that I wasn’t just going to walk through the doors, hug my father, and ask for forgiveness. First, my pride was too great to be swallowed, and I couldn’t admit that running away had been wrong, even in spite of my current circumstance. Secondly, even if I did, father would never allow it. He had a reputation to uphold—a reputation that did not favor the weak of will any more than it favored traitors, both
of which I was in his eyes. No one affronted Father and got away unscathed, not even his own daughter. In fact, he was more likely to punish me to set an example. If he could kill his own flesh and blood for betraying him, what would he do to the rest of them?
The prospect of going back, exchanging one captor for the next, did not excite me. In fact, it wasn’t until we reached the foot of the stairs facing those two huge doors that the shock dissipated enough for the slightest bit of emotion to take root. Julius stood there, waiting to greet us with a heavy chain in his hands, the shackles hanging loose at either end of it. He smiled when he saw me, but it was not a smile that spoke of happiness, rather one that spoke of a threat. We’re not done yet, He seemed to be saying. In spite of myself, a thought arose in the back of my head, making me wonder which was the lesser of two evils: Xian, who had been killing me slowly for the past few years or Julius who seemed like he would very much enjoy ripping my throat out?
Julius looked positively chipper as he came closer to me, the shackles outstretched. “Consider it insurance,” He winked.
Just like that, it made sense. Of course they weren’t simply returning me home on a good deed, like a wallet to the lost and found. I was a hostage. James’ words came drifting back to me: Why kill you yet? He’d asked. I have a plan for you.
I should have seen this coming; after all, father had amassed quite a wealth over the years. Rumor had it that he had in his possession an arsenal of treasures, relics from the world over, and priceless texts. From the moment that James had decided not to kill me, he’d probably been considering using me for ransom. He’d had reason to believe I was special, and then I’d gone last night and told him my father was the one who called the shots amongst the vampires.
Father would never have listened to them if they had anybody else, and they would have killed any other vampire. But my status of mixed breed—they thought it made me an exception…it had certainly been exceptional enough for James not to finish what he started outside the diner. They’d falsely assumed me to be valuable to the vampires, when in fact it was the very opposite. Because I was different from them, they saw me as worthless.
Now I knew why Julius had threatened me for answers, why he’d been so desperate to know my secret. He knew that they’d be returning me, that his chances at having the knowledge he desired was slipping away, and desperate for it, he had turned to whatever actions necessary to obtain it. It was also why James had needed to know if I was one of them or just one of their playthings. None of them would go out on a limb for another. But to regain one of their possessions, they’d be willing to talk.
What the brothers failed to consider was that my father was no fool. He would not have taken me back even if I’d begged his forgiveness; there certainly wouldn’t be any negotiation with them over something as inconsequential as a pathetic, treacherous girl. In fact, it was almost laughable that they thought they stood a chance. Father would not tolerate threats, much less idle ones; James and Julius were in for a shock when they realized the gold dollar they’d staked their venture on was nothing more than a tarnished penny.
“You are signing your own death sentence.” I warned them, for probably the ninth time since we’d set out. The path was unfamiliar to me, but then I wasn’t a girl scout and so any route involving so many trees would look unnavigable.
Julius merely laughed at me, as he had the previous eight times. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you want to spend the rest of your life with James and I. Have you grown attached already?”
“Hardly.” My voice was cold and rough. “I would not choose your company if my life depended on it.”
James turned to look at me, undaunted by my insult and wearing a smile to prove it. But it was Julius who responded. “It does. Besides, do you think we want to watch you die?”
“Probably,” The word was acidic. “But you’re not going to get the chance. Father won’t tolerate this.”
“Yeah, yeah, your daddy will rip my head off and feed it to James before staking him along the gate.” Julius rolled his eyes, bored. “Can you see me quaking?”
Ignoring him, I turned instead to James, who’d been more or less silent since he’d woken me up that morning. “If you threaten the vampires, they will respond in the only way they know how: they’ll kill you.”
“If they do,” James glanced at me, and I noticed how he put extra emphasis on the word ‘if’. He was very flippant…so much so that I wondered whether he were trying to start something. “Then our people will retaliate.”
“You don’t get it.” I objected. “That will mean war. Tons of lives will be lost: your people and mine. A war of our worlds puts the humans at risk.”
“As if you care about the humans,” Julius’ laugh was full of scorn. “Not that it matters. Our race would extinguish yours first.”
His arrogance made me less inclined to believe that, though it was probably the truth. Personal bias aside, James needed to see the truth I was trying to show him. It wasn’t in his interest that I tried to make him understand, but in the interest of the people in town. People like Larissa.
“I didn’t say they wouldn’t. But when my father kills you, he will be expecting an attack. He’ll probably wage the war himself. No matter how great a fighter you are, you will be putting everyone in jeopardy.” Giving him a moment to let that sink in, I paused, “But you can prevent that. Just let me go free and turn around. They will never know that you bit me or that I’ve ever even met you. Nobody gets hurt.”
Julius laughed, and even James’ lips twitched. “Nice try, but I’m not turning back.”
“Oh, to hell with your pride!” I yelled so suddenly, so loudly, it made my throat raw. “What’s your father think about this?”
I’d only just met the man, of course, but the king seemed to be one of those ‘for the greater good’ kind of guys. I couldn’t imagine him supporting this suicidal endeavor of theirs, particularly after he’d said that I wasn’t to leave until they decided I was ready. I still didn’t know what I was supposed to be ready for, but I doubted that after just a few days I was.
The relative silence that answered me was all I needed to gather the conclusion that their father didn’t know what they were up to. A dark, hollow laugh managed to escape me as I considered their deception and wondered, really, what made them think they were better than me? If they wanted to betray their father’s wishes and ignore my warnings that was on them. I would not waste any more breath trying to inform them of the threat that they were walking right into.
We carried on in silence the rest of the way, though there wasn’t much further. I hadn’t noticed just how close we were to the house because I had distracted myself with my own impassioned warnings against this hostage negotiation.
The iron gates I knew so well were just beyond the trees we stood among, though I had often stared at the other side of them. From this vantage point, you could see every peak and turret of the place my father called home. From the outside, it looked like an abandoned cathedral, well-maintained but empty all the same. Though there was no life to be found within, those halls were far from empty.
My father appreciated the irony of living in a church. He actually got some sort of power-trip from it, as though this was his personal way of challenging God. A place that had been meant as a safeguard from evil was now a sanctuary for the darkest souls to inhabit the Earth. The gate was his own personal touch, but everything else was the way it had been when he’d taken up residency there dozens of years ago. The locals just used that as fuel to stoke the fire, proof that everything in the woods was touched by demons. Indeed, it looked haunted, particularly with the sun lighting on the stained glass windows that were covered in a century’s worth of grime.
The sky had lightened up some time when we had been under the canopy created by tree branches, painting the horizon with the first tinges of orange. It seemed that everyone had begun to settle in early; the grounds were just as abandoned as t
he house appeared to be.
“Let’s go.” James grabbed one of my shackled wrists and led me toward the gates, drawing me from my thoughts. The heavy iron yielded under his touch with a loud screech.
The clawing despair in the pit of my stomach increased twofold with each step that I took, my heart beating a frenetic melody against my chest. Surely James could hear it.
I should have been happy to be back, considering my most recent residency, but being faced with these circumstances was a tough pill to swallow. Whether here in the company of my ‘family’ or locked in a room in the den of my enemy, I was still an outcast. “Lovely.” Julius’ voice was acerbic as we approached the large oak doors. I took note of the chipped paint, barely visible under a veil of cobwebs. Father wanted the place to look abandoned and forlorn; He had succeeded by doing nothing at all. “Well,” He leaned towards me, clearly amused with himself. “Are you going to invite us in?”
I didn’t find him half as funny as he found himself.
The brass handle was cold under my palm, a warning of what was to come. The door gave way under my trembling weight, creaking slowly inward.
“That smell…” James muttered.
Julius made a disgusted sound of agreement. “Don’t you people bathe?” He peeked around the corner and then motioned me forward, pressing in close behind.
I was vaguely aware of the men that moved behind me, a wall preventing me from acting upon the desperate instinct to turn and run the other way. One tentative step later, I was inside and James shut the door behind us. Chills laced my spine as I surveyed the place that had once been my home. Then the tears threatened to fall; Get a grip. Knees locked and spine straight, I only hoped my fear wasn’t obvious.
Julius moved quickly to my side, wrapping a firm arm around my waist. His unexpected touch made me jump, but the grip wired me in place. It took me a moment to pick up on what he had—the reason he had rushed to my side—but once I did, I feared I would faint. Blood rushed to my head at the same time that my lungs seized; I was remotely grateful for Julius standing stalwartly behind me, for he was at least keeping me upright.
The Celestial Kiss Page 8
