She made a genuine attempt to smile. A moment later she noticed that Teri was staring at the entrance to the kitchen; Christie glanced up to see James standing there, looking healthy and vital and just so…good.
Her sister immediately stood. “I’m putting Robbie in his crib,” she whispered, blatantly an excuse to leave Christie and James alone.
Christie waited until her sister had left. “I…I understand congratulations are in order.”
“Thank you.” He moved slowly into the family room, hands buried in his pockets. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too,” she returned cheerfully, wondering if the intense effort that required was as obvious as it felt.
“I’ve missed you.” So he was the first to admit it….
Gazing down at the baby, she whispered, “I’ve missed you, too.”
“I guess Teri told you about Polgar World?”
“That’s the name?” she asked, looking up.
James took the seat across from her that Teri had vacated. “Bobby was kind enough to lend his name. We got word of the sale yesterday….”
“Just yesterday?”
James leaned back. “My agent’s been in negotiations with two companies.”
“You have an agent?” That made her question how many other secrets he’d kept from her.
He didn’t respond. “I’ve been waiting, Christie.”
She looked up, struggling to hide how hurt she was. “Waiting?”
“You said you’d come to me when you were ready to forgive and forget.”
“Didn’t I say the same thing to you? It doesn’t do any good for me to forgive and forget if you can’t, does it?”
“No, I don’t suppose it does.”
He didn’t say anything else for another lengthy moment. Christie almost wished Christopher would wake up and wail to distract her from this anguish—and to give voice to her own discontent.
“Where do we stand, then?” he finally asked.
“I…don’t know. I…I’d give anything to be able to wipe the slate clean and be the woman you deserve.” Her mouth was so dry she could hardly speak. “I can’t do that, but I can’t live with the threat of you throwing it in my face every time we disagree, either.”
“And I can’t live with you constantly bringing up the fact that I let you down when I…left.”
“I…”
“Yes?” James urged when she hesitated.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Polgar World?” she blurted out.
The question seemed to hang in the air. Before he answered, James exhaled deeply. “I feel that I’ve failed at almost everything I’ve tried to do in my life. The idea for the game came to me two years ago. I’ve been developing it for the past year and a half. I didn’t even tell Bobby until six months ago. I could live with failing, but I couldn’t live with disappointing you.”
“Oh.” An inadequate response, but the best she could manage.
“I figured if and when it was a success, I’d come to you.”
“You didn’t, though.”
“I’m here now. I didn’t just happen to stop by the house. I saw your car outside and I couldn’t stay away.”
Christie stared up at him, eyes wide.
“The thing is, I thought I’d be the happiest man alive when this game sold.”
“Aren’t you?” He had every reason to celebrate.
“Not if I can’t share it with you.” A tentative smile came and went.
She smiled back.
“I love you, Christie. I’m tired of being alone, tired of my pride.”
“Pride doesn’t really keep you warm at night, does it?” She was speaking for herself as well as him.
He stood then and moved toward her with his usual long strides, taking the seat beside her. “I want us to get married.”
“Okay.” Not the most elegant answer, perhaps, but it got the point across.
“It’s not like we’re kids who don’t know what they want.”
“I want you,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Bobby and Teri were married in Vegas….”
“We could make it a family tradition,” she suggested.
James grinned. “I couldn’t agree with you more. Hey, are you doing anything this weekend?” he asked.
“Yeah, I am,” she said, then sent him a huge smile. “I’m getting married.”
“Good, because so am I.”
He reached for her and she went willingly into his arms, almost forgetting Christopher.
Between kisses James murmured, “No more arguments.”
“Well, that’s unlikely, but at least we know we can get past them.” Her lips lingered on his. “Oh, James, I’m so happy for you.”
He gave her a loving kiss. “I’m marrying you and that makes me happier than anything.”
“Should we tell Teri and Bobby?” she asked.
“We heard,” Bobby said from the kitchen.
James straightened and looked over at them. “I’m going to need a best man.”
“He’ll be there and so will I,” Teri said, standing next to her husband. Bobby had his arm around Teri’s shoulders. “I’ll be the matron of honor,” Teri added.
Christie wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Twenty-Seven
Gloria needed to tell Chad that their night together had consequences. She was pregnant. He had a right to know. It’d been more than a month since he’d moved away. When she’d called his old phone number, she was given a number with a Tacoma area code. So she’d guessed correctly. Chad had taken the job with Tacoma General to work in their E.R.
What surprised Gloria was how much she missed him since he’d left. That wasn’t even logical. They weren’t a couple; in fact, she’d refused to see him again. The only thing to which she could attribute this sense of loss was the comfort she’d found in knowing he was close at hand. If she’d wished to, she could’ve sought him out. She hadn’t, though. Instead, she’d made every effort to banish him from her thoughts. But nothing had worked.
And now…now she was pregnant with his child. This baby was the result of their irresponsible behavior, yes, but…she’d never been happier. While this new life was about to turn her own upside down, she felt the most incredible sensation of joy. She wanted Chad’s baby, and she was sure that when she told him, Chad would be happy, too.
Because of the baby, she had no choice but to confront her fears about her relationship with Chad. He’d knocked down all the protective barriers she’d so carefully set up. Because of the baby she couldn’t rebuild them. The baby made her vulnerable. She had to admit she did love Chad. She needed him.
Her parents’ deaths had forever shaped her future. When she’d found her birth family, Gloria had expected these strangers to fill the empty places in her heart. That was unreasonable; she saw that now.
It was while she was struggling to reinvent her life, to find a new family, that Gloria had met Chad. A few weeks ago, when she suspected she might be carrying his child, she’d nearly panicked. This couldn’t be happening. But despite her fears, she’d gradually come to accept that this baby was her new family. Hers and Chad’s. Once she saw the pregnancy in this light, she began to feel a sense of peace.
After she’d done the home pregnancy test, she made a doctor’s appointment. The next step was to tell Chad. She realized the news would come as a shock; it had to her. She assumed his reaction would be similar. She’d give him time to adjust, and then they could make their decisions about the future. Decisions and plans…
She knew it would be a future together. Chad loved her. He’d said so. And while she’d been hesitant to admit it, she loved him, too.
The drive into Tacoma took thirty minutes. Gloria used that time to rehearse how she planned to break the news to Chad. She had his new address, which was close to the hospital. The reverse telephone directory had even included his apartment number.
She didn’t see his car in the parking area, but sh
e rang his doorbell and waited. As she’d feared, he wasn’t home. She should probably have phoned ahead, but she hadn’t, primarily because she was afraid she’d blurt out everything then and there. And that would’ve been unfair. No, a face-to-face meeting was better.
Her other option was to go to the hospital. She’d see him, however briefly, and they could arrange a time to talk. As luck would have it, she arrived just as the shift changed, so she decided to wait. Her news would be shocking enough without adding to the drama by asking to speak to him privately while he was on duty.
She located his car in the staff parking lot and steered into a space two rows over, where she could keep his car in view. Ten minutes later she saw him.
Except he wasn’t alone. An attractive blonde woman walked with him. They were deeply involved in conversation, his head leaning close to hers. Chad laughed frequently as they talked; clearly they enjoyed each other’s company.
Gloria watched him escort the blonde to her car. Her heart plummeted when he bent to kiss her passionately. Then he stepped back and waited as she pulled out of her parking space and drove off.
When Chad started toward his car, Gloria sat, unmoving, in her own. He opened his door, then looked up and paused. He’d caught sight of her.
With no choice now, she climbed out of her car.
Chad walked over, and judging by the frown that darkened his face, he wasn’t happy to see her. “What are you doing here?” he asked bluntly.
The answer should be obvious. “I came to see you.”
“Why?”
This was her opportunity to explain the reason for her visit. And yet…she couldn’t.
“I thought I made myself clear in our last conversation,” he said stiffly. He thrust his hands in his pockets. “I’m through with our hot-and-cold relationship, Gloria. I hung around Cedar Cove far longer than I should have, wanting to give us a chance. I honestly hoped we could make a go of it, but you let me know you weren’t interested.”
She had no defense. That was exactly what she’d done.
“When I left, I told you I was finished and I meant it. You aren’t good for me.”
“No, I don’t suppose I am,” she agreed sadly.
“I’m starting over here in Tacoma and you know what? I like my life.”
“I see you have a…friend.”
“I do.” He didn’t embellish but simply confirmed the fact.
“I can’t argue with anything you said. I wish you well, Chad, I really do. I apologize for—”
“No need,” he said, cutting her off. “You taught me some valuable lessons.”
She merely nodded, unable to speak. With the pregnancy, her emotions had become volatile; she didn’t want to risk embarrassing herself or him, so she offered him a smile. What she wanted was to tell him about the baby, but she couldn’t do it. He’d begun a new life, a new relationship. Some might argue that it wasn’t ethical to keep the baby a secret, but that was what she intended to do. Wasn’t it fairer to him that way? She could see to it that one night of his previous life, one night in an ill-fated relationship, wouldn’t return to damage his future hopes and dreams. With the decision made, she turned away, got back in her car and sped out of the parking lot.
The tears came as she headed home to Cedar Cove. By the time she exited the freeway she was a mess. Her eyes were puffy and red and the seat next to her was piled with crumpled tissues.
Hardly aware of what she was doing, Gloria was mildly surprised to find herself in front of the McAfee home on Harbor Street.
She needed her mother. At one point in her own life, Corrie had been in the same situation as Gloria. She’d know what to do, how to guide her.
She wiped her face and walked up the steps to the door. If Roy answered, Gloria had no idea what she’d say.
He did. Taking one look at Gloria, he whirled around and called out, “Corrie!”
There was an urgency in his voice, and Corrie appeared almost immediately. Roy stepped aside and Corrie took Gloria by the hand and led her into the house, straight to the kitchen. Pulling a chair out from the table, she sat Gloria down and then sat beside her, still holding her hand.
Gloria discovered she couldn’t say a word. Not a solitary word. Every time she opened her mouth, nothing came out. After several futile attempts, she stopped trying. Instead, she held a clump of tissues to her eyes and wept loudly.
Corrie moved away from the table long enough to make two mugs of decaffeinated tea.
Roy briefly entered the kitchen and promptly left. “I’ll be in the other room if you need me,” he said on his way out the door. He seemed grateful that nothing was expected of him.
“Here,” Corrie said soothingly. “Drink this.”
Gloria did. The hot liquid eased the ache in her throat. The mug held in both hands spread warmth through her chilled body.
When her vision cleared, Gloria saw that Corrie’s eyes were brimming with tears.
“I’m pregnant,” Gloria whispered.
“I suspected it.” Corrie patted her hand gently. “I saw the pregnancy kit when I ran into you at the grocery store.”
“I wasn’t sure. You…you didn’t say anything.”
“No, I didn’t,” she said. “I wanted you to trust me enough to come to me. I’m so glad you did.” Leaning over, she wrapped Gloria in her loving embrace.
A number of times in the past Corrie had hugged her and Gloria had responded, although it had all seemed rather forced. Not this time. They clung to each other in mutual understanding.
“When I first learned I was pregnant with you, it felt as if the world had come to an end,” Corrie said in a low voice as they moved apart.
Gloria made a sound that was half tearful, half amused. “I felt like that, too.”
“Roy and I weren’t seeing each other anymore and he was dating some cheerleader.”
Gloria lowered her head. “Did you tell him when you found out?”
“No. What good would it’ve done for him to know? We were so young…I was still in my teens. He was out of my life, and I was too stubborn and too hurt to go to him. Right or wrong, I believed this was my problem and I’d deal with it myself.”
“You went home?”
“Yes, I dropped out of college for the rest of the school year and returned to Oregon to live with my parents. They were wonderful, helping me decide what was best for you—and for me.” Tears slipped down Corrie’s face. “I loved you so much…. You’ll never know how hard it was to give you up for adoption.”
Now it was Gloria who comforted her mother; she drew her close and murmured words of love and reassurance. They held each other for several minutes.
When they reached for tissues at the same time, they both laughed, soft, embarrassed laughter.
Gloria sipped her tea and took a moment to compose her thoughts.
“When…when did you tell…Dad?” These were all questions Gloria had wanted to ask; she’d never found the courage. Facing her own pregnancy without the baby’s father gave her an entirely different perspective on her mother’s situation. The rejection she’d felt, the feelings of resentment she’d experienced at being denied the joy of growing up with her brother and sister, evaporated. Her mother had loved her and had done the best she could under the circumstances.
“Roy didn’t know about you until you were over a year old.”
He hadn’t known about her until she’d already taken her first steps. “What made you decide to tell him?”
Corrie hung her head. “I went back to school and we met on campus at the library. It was all rather awkward, as you can imagine. I didn’t want to see him, and at the same time I did, if that makes any sense?”
“It does.”
“We started dating again. I’d never stopped loving him, but I wasn’t willing to let him break my heart a second time. When he asked me to marry him, I felt he needed to know about you.” She exhaled shakily and reached for her tea with a trembling hand. “He was upset with m
e, Gloria, terribly, terribly upset. I’ve never seen Roy like that, before or since. He was so…angry.”
Gloria peered into the other room and saw that Roy was working on the computer, his back to her.
“We agreed that we wouldn’t discuss it again and we both accepted that we had a daughter we’d never know, but would always love.” She paused to get control of her emotions before she continued. “Then you came back into our lives and I can’t tell you how happy that’s made us.”
“Thank you, Mom,” Gloria whispered. It was the first time she’d ever addressed Corrie as her mother. It had always been Corrie and Roy, but from this point forward they’d be Mom and Dad.
“Okay,” Corrie said, slowly releasing her breath. “How can I help you?”
“I…I don’t know yet. It’s still pretty new.”
“Does…does the father know?”
Gloria shook her head. “No. And I’m not going to tell him.” She’d already made that decision and it was one she meant to keep.
Corrie studied her for several seconds before she spoke. “I just told you how upset your father was that I withheld the information from him.”
“I know. But in my case I feel this is the right thing to do.”
“At the time I did, too,” her mother said.
“Mom, please support me in this.”
Again, Corrie hesitated and then nodded. “If you’re sure that’s what you want, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“I want to raise my baby—at least, that’s my thought for now. I might have a change of heart later, but for right now that’s my plan.”
“Your father and I will support whatever decision you make,” Corrie said solemnly.
“Thank you.” She’d been certain her mother would say that but was grateful to hear it.
“Linnette’s pregnant, too, so Roy and I are going to become grandparents twice within a twelve-month period.” Corrie’s face beamed with joy and anticipation.
“I should tell…Dad.” Gloria drank the rest of her tea, then went into the other room.
Roy’s computer was set up in a small alcove there, and Gloria saw that he was checking stock prices. When he sensed her presence, he turned to look up at her. “Did you and your mother have a good talk?”
Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Series, Volume 3 Page 53
