Jolene looked down at her feet. “You gave Dad back the money, too, didn’t you?”
Rachel was surprised the girl knew anything about that. “Your father told you?”
“No, Teri Polgar did. She came to the house and made a big stink about it.”
Rachel could well imagine that scene. Teri wasn’t one to hold back her opinions. No doubt she’d told both Bruce and Jolene what she thought of them, whether they wanted to hear it or not.
“Dad was pretty upset about it. You not taking the money, I mean.”
“Tell him—that is, if you want to say anything about our meeting—tell him the baby and I are doing well. I don’t need money. I can care for the baby on my own.” She didn’t want a thing from him. Eventually her pride would give way and she’d need to ask, but until then she was content to manage on her own without any help, financial or otherwise, from Bruce or Jolene. They’d both done quite enough.
“My dad loves you.”
The lump was back in her throat. “Yes, I know.”
“If you loved him you wouldn’t be doing this,” Jolene accused her. “You wouldn’t be keeping the baby away from him.”
Rachel wasn’t willing to be attacked for the difficult choices she’d had to make. But rather than defend herself, she disregarded the girl’s comment. Standing, she placed one hand over her stomach. “I appreciate you meeting me this one last time,” she said in a low voice. “Goodbye, Jolene.” She started to walk away.
“Wait,” Jolene cried.
“Wait?” Rachel echoed. “For what?”
“I…have something for you.”
Rachel wondered if Jolene was telling the truth.
“I told my dad you called and wanted to meet. He wrote you a letter. I wasn’t going to give it to you, but…I think maybe I should.” The girl reached for her backpack, unzipped it and dug around inside. After a moment she pulled out an envelope, then handed it to Rachel. “Go ahead and read it,” she said.
“Have you?” Silly question. Of course she had.
Jolene’s eyes dropped so quickly, that was answer enough. “Just read what Dad wrote.”
Rachel opened the blank envelope, which either hadn’t been sealed or had been replaced.
Dear Rachel,
I don’t know how to start this. I’ve tried writing this twenty times and gave up every time. When I realized you’d blocked me from calling you, I was angry at first. I’d hoped we could reconcile. Then I understood why you did it and I have to say I probably would’ve done the same thing. Nothing changed, despite all our efforts. It was the same problem over and over again, only worse.
I apologize that I didn’t step in earlier to help you with my daughter. Jolene has major issues, and I should have recognized them earlier. I’ve made some changes here at home and attended several counseling sessions now. You were right about that, too. I should’ve agreed to talk to someone much sooner…. If I had, it might have prevented this. Jolene went, too, not voluntarily, but at least she’s had to listen. It’s helping, I think, but I’ll be the first to admit we have a long way to go.
Teri Polgar returned the money.
I’ll abide by any decision you make.
Oh, Rachel, I can’t stop thinking about you and the baby. I’ve never felt such sadness. When Stephanie died, it was like someone had ripped off both my arms. This is different but just as painful. I’ve failed you and failed our child.
I don’t think there’s anything more I can say, other than to tell you again how much I love you. Although Jolene would never admit it, she needs you, too.
Ending this letter is impossible. Words are impossible. I know I’ve lost you but I can’t say goodbye. Bruce
The last two lines blurred as tears filled Rachel’s eyes. She swallowed, blinking hard, so Jolene wouldn’t know how emotional the letter had made her.
“Thank you for giving this to me.” Her hand trembled as she folded the paper and slid it back inside the envelope.
“Dad’s right,” Jolene whispered.
Rachel looked up and saw that Jolene’s head was bent. A tear splashed on her backpack and she jerked her hand across her face.
“Your father is right?” Rachel repeated softly. “About what?”
Jolene shook her head, refusing to answer.
“If you ever need me, all you have to do is check in with Teri Polgar. She’ll get in touch with me and I’ll give you a call.”
“You’d do that?” Jolene asked.
“Yes.”
“After everything I’ve done?”
“Yes,” she returned without hesitation.
“Why?”
“First, you’re my stepdaughter, and second, you and I used to be close.” That felt like a long time ago, but Rachel could look back through the years and hold on to the good memories without allowing the more recent ones to taint her perspective.
“The baby…” Jolene began, and then paused. “You’ve got a tummy.”
“I see you noticed.”
“How could I not?” she said, and almost smiled.
The door of the head librarian’s office opened and Grace Harding came out. Behind her a puppy scampered, running across the library and directly toward Jolene.
Bending down, Jolene scooped the small dog into her arms. The puppy started to lick her chin. Squinting, Jolene laughed and held him away from her face.
“Beau,” Grace called out as she hurried toward them. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jolene said. “He’s just so cute.”
“He’s a darn nuisance. I keep forgetting to close the office door behind me. This is the second time today.” She reached for Beau, but Jolene continued to hold him.
“Would it be all right if I petted him for a while?” she asked, looking up at the librarian.
Grace glanced at Rachel as though to get her permission.
“Fine with me,” Rachel said.
Grace lingered a moment. “When are you coming back to the salon, Rachel?” she asked. “With both you and Teri gone, I’ve had a heck of a time finding someone to cut my hair the way I like.”
“I…won’t be coming back.”
“That’s a shame.” She paused. “And I bet that’s how all your clients feel.”
She didn’t know what to say. Rachel had heard via Jane that a number of her clients were looking for her. She hated to disappoint anyone but she seriously doubted they’d follow her to Portland or wherever she landed.
“Bring Beau back to me when you’re tired of playing with him,” Grace said.
“Okay.” Beau had settled down in Jolene’s lap and chewed on her finger until she moved her hand just out of his range.
Rachel enjoyed watching Jolene with the puppy. Several minutes later, she stood to leave but Jolene asked, “Could you stay a little longer?”
“Okay.” She waited, unsure if Jolene had something else to say. She leaned down and petted the puppy, who immediately tried to chew on her finger, too.
“Be careful, he’s got sharp little teeth.”
Rachel had discovered that. “Ouch.” She jerked her hand away and examined her finger to see if he’d drawn blood. Thankfully he hadn’t.
“I never had a dog,” Jolene said. “I wanted one but Dad said we’d have to leave him alone all day, and that didn’t seem right.”
“I never had one, either.” Her aunt hadn’t been keen on pets, although Rachel had longed for a dog.
“Too messy?” Jolene guessed.
“Too messy,” she confirmed, and offered her step-daughter a tentative smile.
Jolene cuddled the small dog as though that required her undivided attention.
“Rachel,” she whispered after several minutes. “Don’t move to Portland.”
“You want me to go someplace else?” She frowned, a little confused.
“No.”
“Another town farther away?”
“No,” Jolene repeated emphatically. “I don’t want you to move at all.�
��
Rachel didn’t say anything, afraid she might be reading more into this than warranted. “Are you asking me to stay in Cedar Cove?”
“I…I don’t know.”
That wasn’t the answer she’d hoped to hear.
“All I can say is I don’t know what my dad will do when he finds out you’re leaving the area.”
Rachel realized her decision would be hard on Bruce, but she didn’t feel she had any choice.
“I…don’t want you to go, either,” Jolene said.
Perhaps that was a start.
Twenty-Seven
Is Thursday still your day off? Gloria texted Chad. It was less intimidating than phoning.
She didn’t have long to wait for a reply. Yes.
She bit her lip and texted back. Could you come over?
Now?
Anytime.
His reply was almost instantaneous. On my way.
Gloria hoped, prayed, she was doing the right thing.
Forty minutes later her doorbell chimed. Nervously wiping her palms on her maternity-front pants, she opened the door.
“Everything okay?” Chad immediately asked.
“Yes.”
“You wanted to see me?”
She nodded, realizing she’d left him standing outside, and let him into her apartment.
Chad walked in and looked around as if this was the first time he’d ever been there. “What’s up?”
“I need some help,” she said.
“Okay.”
Gloria had gotten in touch with him on impulse. She did need help, which she knew Mack or Roy would’ve been happy to provide. But she couldn’t resist asking Chad, although she was afraid it might be too late for them.
“What do you need?”
“I…purchased a crib.”
His gaze met hers. “So did I.”
“Oh.” That shouldn’t have surprised her. They’d more or less agreed to share custody of the baby. Returning to the matter at hand, she continued. “Have you assembled yours yet?”
“No. Have you?”
“Well, I tried, and frankly, I found it rather confusing. I was wondering if you’d mind helping.” It was an excuse to see him again, to end this tension between them. If they were going to share custody, then they needed to feel comfortable with each other. Adversity and mistrust weren’t in the baby’s best interests. Or theirs…
“That’s why you asked me over?”
She nodded. Yes, it was an excuse but she’d wanted to see him again.
Everything had changed after their…nap. That was a week ago. Nothing had happened that afternoon, nothing physical, and yet it had made a difference, at least for Gloria. Now, whenever she crawled into bed and closed her eyes, she could feel Chad lying beside her and it comforted her, calmed her. She wanted that closeness again, that feeling of being protected and cherished. Everything before had been about the powerful physical attraction between them. But they’d experienced something else that afternoon—tenderness toward each other and love for their unborn child. Gloria had felt a bond with Chad, a feeling of wholeness that she’d lost with the death of her parents. She had a blood relationship with the McAfees and they’d welcomed her into their lives. What she didn’t have were the memories, the shared times, the laughter and private moments that connected the members of a family.
“Where’s the crib?” he asked, giving her an odd look.
Caught up in her thoughts, she’d been staring off into space. Startled, she led him down the hall and escorted him into the second bedroom, which she planned to turn into the nursery.
He paused halfway into the room. “You’ve bought quite a lot of stuff already.”
Gloria rested her hand on the changing table. “Corrie saw this on sale and phoned me from the store. I bought it sight unseen, and then Mack and his brother-in-law picked it up for me and brought it to the apartment.” The change table was white wood with six drawers, three on each side. There was a brightly colored pad on top.
“I want to paint the room a light shade of blue.” Mack had volunteered to do that for her. She’d thanked him and declined. She wanted Chad to offer.
He didn’t.
Chad looked at the two ends of the crib that leaned against the outside wall. She’d taken everything out of the cardboard packaging, which she’d put in the recycling bin.
“The assembly directions are in several different languages,” she said, handing him the printed sheets. “I suspect the English version might be a bit difficult to follow.”
“In other words, English isn’t their first language.”
“Exactly.”
“Hmm.” Chad studied the directions, then flipped through several pages. “The pictures will help.”
Gloria had made that assumption herself, only to give up in frustration. “I have all the tools we’ll need.”
“Good. I didn’t think to bring anything with me.”
“Why would you?” He didn’t know until he arrived why she’d contacted him.
They sat down on the floor together and Gloria marveled at how thorough Chad was. He read the entire booklet before he even reached for the screwdriver.
“We shouldn’t have a problem.”
An hour later, Gloria had to get up off the floor. Everything ached. “How about a cup of coffee?” she asked.
“I’m more in the mood for a shot of whiskey. Has anyone ever successfully assembled one of these cribs?”
“I…I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t have anything stronger than wine.”
“What time is it?” he asked.
“After six.” She hadn’t even thought to look until he asked. It was already dark.
“Six?” he repeated, and in one fluid motion he was on his feet. He grabbed his cell and rushed out of the room.
“Do you need to be someplace else?” she asked, and assumed he was meeting Joni. Her chest tightened as she held her breath.
Talking on his cell phone, Chad stepped outside the apartment onto the second-story walkway. He paced back and forth, intent on his conversation. Several minutes passed before he returned.
“Do you need to leave?” she asked, hoping she’d be able to hide her disappointment if he did.
“No. I’ll stay.”
“I apologize… I should’ve realized you might have made other plans.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll finish up here.”
“No, it’s all right, really,” she insisted. “It isn’t like I’m due next week or anything. We have plenty of time.”
“I said I’d stay.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “Thanks.”
Chad went back to the baby’s room and she went into the kitchen. The cupboard above the refrigerator held a bottle of merlot. Gloria couldn’t remember how long it’d been there—well over a year, anyway. But aging red wine was supposed to improve the flavor. Opening the bottle proved to be a challenge but she managed. She poured Chad a glass and carried it into the bedroom.
“Here, this might help,” she said, handing him the wineglass.
“Thanks.”
“I wish I could join you….”
“Another time, perhaps. After the baby’s born.” He sent her a warm smile, which she immediately fell victim to; he’d had that effect on her from the beginning.
“I also bought a mobile.” The words tumbled out in her effort to break the spell he had over her.
“Does it need assembly?”
“No.”
“That’s a relief,” he teased, laughing.
She laughed, too.
He had one side of the crib attached when her stomach growled, reminding her that it’d been a long time since lunch. If she was hungry, Chad likely was, too.
“I’ll fix us some dinner,” she suggested, eager to do something useful. She wasn’t much help with the crib, other than to reread the instructions aloud. Every once in a while he’d ask her to repeat a step and she’d struggle with the poor syntax and confused vo
cabulary. At one point Chad muttered that English must be the author’s fourth or fifth language. Smiling, Gloria agreed.
“Don’t go to any trouble,” Chad said.
“I won’t.”
Not until she was in her kitchen did she realize this was the first time she’d ever cooked for him. She’d soon be giving birth to his son and yet they’d never once shared a home-cooked meal. She had to wonder if Joni ever cooked for him and decided she probably did.
Gloria didn’t have a large repertoire of recipes. One of her favorites was a seafood pasta dish. Corrie had given her the recipe, which she, in turn, had received from Peggy Beldon. Setting a pot of water on to boil, she got the shrimp and scallops from the freezer and canned clams from the cupboard.
She’d chopped the onions and fresh parsley when Chad appeared. “I need a break,” he said, holding his half-full wineglass.
“I hope you aren’t allergic to seafood?” she asked, suddenly worried.
“Nope. Love it.”
“Oh, good.” What a sad commentary that she should know so little about him.
Chad leaned against the counter and she wondered if he had any idea how sexy he looked.
The phone rang and she answered it without checking caller ID. It was her brother.
“Just calling to make sure you don’t need any help putting that crib together,” Mack said.
“I’ve got it under control. Thanks, though.”
“No problem. Linc said he could help, too, if you want.”
“Thank you both. I appreciate it.”
“Okay, well, give me a call if you need anything.”
“I will.”
When Gloria replaced the receiver, she saw Chad frowning into his wine. He obviously thought her conversation had been with someone she was dating. Remembering how wretched she’d felt when he was on the phone with Joni, she didn’t explain. Let him think what he would. He didn’t ask and she didn’t enlighten him.
Chad finished his glass of wine and replenished it.
“Would you like me to turn on the radio?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Sure.”
Soon soft rock filled the kitchen, followed by radio personality Delilah’s soothing voice.
While the fettuccine boiled, Gloria set the table, adding a bowl of freshly grated Parmesan cheese. She placed two candles in the center, as well.
Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Series, Volume 3 Page 81
