by K E Osborn
Yeah, fuck Sensei and his bullshit.
There’s nothing wrong with me.
I can handle my own shit.
My bloodlust is my own.
I have it capped.
I have it locked down.
It’s under control.
***
As Sensei straps Miller to the silver chair, I pace the chamber, the dank room reminding me how much I love it in here. The dull hue from the lights. The tepid temperature. The faint sounds of dripping coming from the doorway. Every inch of this room was made for me even though I’m not the man of the hour down here most of the time. This is generally Sensei’s domain, but today I want to take the lead.
Torque and Crest walk in closing the door behind them. Their club cuts gone replaced with black hoodies and their faces covered with balaclavas like us. Four men clad in black and one business- looking suit tied to the silver chair, still out cold, with blood oozing from his nose. I can’t wait to see his face when he wakes up.
“You got here in record time, boys,” Torque relays as I walk over grabbing a length of metal tubing just in case I need it.
“It’s easy when you have the tracker.” I step forward toward Torque and Crest placing the hard tube against the wall near the silver chair. “Let me take the lead on this. I have more to gain, I think I’ll be more convincing.”
Torque scoffs. “Scare the guy to death more like it—”
“I think we should give the kid a chance. If he falls out of line, then let option two take over,” Crest pipes in.
My inner demon roars to life slapping Crest on the bicep as I smile at him. He nods to me as Torque and Sensei both exhale but nod.
“Fine, but the moment you get too heavy-handed with him… you’re out. Remember this is a retrieve and release. He gets out of this alive.”
Turning my back to my blood brother, I roll my eyes. “I fucking know, let me get on with it. It’s getting late, I need my beauty sleep.”
“Don’t we know it,” Crest mocks. Rolling my eyes, Sensei walks up to me with a bucket of iced water.
He looks at me, and I nod with a giant smirk. “Let’s get this party started.”
Sensei hurtles the iced water onto Miller. His body jolts as his head flings up. Miller starts to shake as his eyes widen in fear. His nostrils flare in and out with his frantic breaths. He looks to the four of us all covered up as he shakes his head trying to obviously figure out what the hell is going on.
I step up to him, my gloved fingers grabbing at the tape as I rip it from his mouth in one fell swoop. He yelps out in pain as he gasps for air.
“Fuck! What the hell’s going on?” he blurts out as he looks right at me, the fear evident in his eyes.
I bend down so my eyes are in line with his as I narrow them. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as I watch his body visibly shake. “You know Everett Scott, correct?” I ask.
He inhales and looks around at my brothers trying to ascertain why there’s so many of us here. He’s in shock, obviously, as he keeps quiet still glancing around the room taking all this in. So, I reach out grabbing his chin forcefully making him look only at me. He yelps out as I see a slow trickle of wetness appear at his crotch and run down his pants.
Fucker pissed himself.
“Don’t look around, talk to me. You can get out of this if you cooperate, Miller.”
His breathing is coming in fast and frantic as he rapidly bobs his head up and down.
Fucker’s a pussy if ever I’ve seen one.
“Yeah,” his voice is barely audible.
“What? I can’t hear you,” I spit at him.
“Yes! I know Everett, dammit.”
I let go of his chin and stand back up folding my arms over my chest. “How often do you talk to him?”
He glances around the room, so I snap my fingers pointing my middle and pointer finger at him and then to my eyes. “Look at me, Miller. How often do you talk to Everett?”
His breath stutters as he sniffs shaking his head. “I… I don’t think I should be talking to you.”
I lunge forward without hesitation, my fist clenching and landing a blow right in his stomach. He hunches over, but he can’t hold onto where the pain is radiating out from because his hands are tied to the chair. He puffs out heaving breaths. “I don’t think you have any other option, Miller. You talk to us, you tell us what we want to know, or I get a little trigger happy.”
His eyes dart open as he looks around the room again at my brothers.
“Don’t look to us, we won’t help you,” Crest relays making Miller frown as he coughs a little.
He sits up taller looking back at me. “What do you want to know?”
I grin stepping closer. “Everett has a plan in action, we want to know what it is?”
He raises a brow and scoffs. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific there, cowboy.”
My lip curls as I grunt. Guy’s grown some balls. I can fix that. Stepping forward, I raise my foot and stomp as hard as I can onto his expensive looking black shoe with my combat boot. He screams out in agony as he writhes on the chair.
“Stop being an asshole, Miller, and you’ll stop getting hurt,” I reply. “Though, I do like hurting people, so keep it up. It doesn’t really faze me.”
He grunts shuffling up on the seat. “What plan?” he reiterates.
“Has he talked to you about anything to do with Mylee Bannerman?”
His eyes widen as he tilts his head. “Mylee? A plan to do with Mylee?”
“That’s what I said, fucker.”
He clears his throat. “I think you’ve been misinformed. Everett and Mylee are a couple.”
I scoff as Crest stands taller. “What makes you say that?” Crest asks.
“Everett talks about her all the time.”
“Have you ever seen them together, Miller?” I ask, and he lets out a laugh.
“Why would I? Mylee’s working abroad, Everett says he only gets to see her occasionally, but when he does, fuck is it wild… if you know what I mean?”
I tense up, the demon within me swarming as I rush forward without hesitation, my knuckles clenched as I thrust them into his face so hard and fast I can’t think about what I’m doing. Anger swarms around me, a rage burning so hot as I punch and punch and fucking punch. I feel the bones crunching, I hear his cries of agony. The adrenaline races over me as I let the demon within me ravage my soul.
He talked about Mylee like she was a piece of meat.
She’s anything but.
My demon ignites my bloodlust, and as I feel arms pulling at me to stop, I can’t. Someone tries to grab at me, so I turn, swinging for them. I connect, but I don’t wait to see who it is before I turn back to my victim. The insatiable need to feel the blood oozing through my fingertips is seeping through my pores. I rip off my gloves as I punch him again. The red liquid smothering my hand while the feeling of it soothes my very soul. Seeing it, feeling it, melding with it. It’s intoxicating. The fire inside of me burns hot. So hot I can’t stand it. Sweat pours off every inch of me as I grab at my balaclava and yank it off my head throwing it to the floor.
I reach out for the metal tube and swing it with all my might, the thwack and resistance of the tube doesn’t dissuade me at all. In fact, it only ignites me further. I hit him again, the crack resounding through the room as blood splatters on my clothing making me feel more alive than I have in ages.
Suddenly, two hands grab me on either side and yank me back, effectively pulling me off Miller. I struggle to get free, the demon within raging to be out of control and finish the job. I’m a man possessed, and I need to feel it, his life slipping at my hands. The rush I get from it. The energy pulsing from his life into mine. I need it, I crave it.
“Stop!” Sensei yells as his hazy outline comes into view.
It’s only now I realize his balaclava is off as he rubs at his jaw, a bruise forming. It must have been him I hit. My body goes limp in Torque and Crest�
�s hands as they hold me tight to stop my tirade.
Sensei stares at me. His hands up to halt me from rushing forward as I pant heavily.
“Trax, stop!” he murmurs again.
He’s said my name.
His balaclava is off.
I think mine’s off, too.
Shit! Our identities are out there for Miller to see. This is not good.
I drop the tube as I pant. “I’m okay,” I murmur, slightly out of breath as Sensei nods to Crest and Torque who slowly let me go. “What happened?” I ask.
Sensei steps aside to let me see Miller. I inhale sharply as I take in the sight in front of me. His face is a bloody mess, but it’s his jaw that shocks me. His jaw is off at a right angle and to the side clearly broken beyond repair. The side of his skull is caved in. And the blood, there’s so much fucking blood.
I sink in on myself as I look down at my hands, they’re covered in it. Some of his hair, a little bit of flesh. I love the thrill of causing pain—normally. But this, this has me shocked.
“You lost control,” Sensei simply states as I let out a deep exhale.
I glance to Crest, my eyes heavy with an unspoken apology. “I…” I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything else.
Crest steps in front of me, shoving my body forcefully. I take a step back trying to stop myself from falling while he glares at me. “What the fuck! This is exactly what I told you not to do. I gave you strict instructions and a chance to prove yourself, and you shot that shit to hell. I should gut you right here, but Mylee would never forgive me.” He runs his hands through his hair and turns his back to me.
Crap! My body feels numb as I drop to the floor.
I’ve failed Crest.
I’ve failed my brothers.
But most of all, I’ve failed Mylee.
I’ve never let the demon within me take hold completely before.
Everyone looks down at me but continues talking.
“What’s the ramifications for you, Crest?” Torque asks.
“No fucking idea. Hopefully, this can’t be tied back to the club, and he will be just another missing person. So you better make sure disposal is handled appropriately unlike this shit show.”
“I will take care of this myself, you have my word, Crest,” Sensei states.
“Was he the only lead you had?” Torque asks.
Crest rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, he was all I had.”
Sensei squats in front of me placing his hand on my knee, the sudden movement making me look up. “I think this proves you need to think about control, don’t you?”
I glance over to Miller’s mangled face. I curl up my lip as I glance to Crest. He pulls off his balaclava and lifts his chin. So, I look back to Sensei and sigh with a nod. “I’ll train with you. I had no fucking idea I could lose control like that.”
He weakly smiles. “The bloodlust, when it takes over, Trax, you have to know how to fight it, or…” he looks to Miller, “… this happens. I thought it might happen with you one day. You need to be taught just like I was. I see me in you, Trax. This is why I kept on you about it. I knew we would get to this point. It’s also how I know we can fix it.”
A calm silence filters through the room as I take in what’s being said. I need to change. Something in me that’s broken needs to be fixed. Now. How I do that, I’m not sure. But I know Sensei is the one to help me.
“Right, now I know we have no leads here, I need to go home in the morning. Trax, you gonna be okay to watch over Mylee? After this shit, I need to know you’re in the right frame of mind,” Crest asks.
I gather my bearings and stand up. “I only acted out because he talked about Mylee that way. I would never hurt Mylee. You have to know that, Crest.”
He nods. “I know it. But fuck if you haven’t pissed me the hell off.” He throws the balaclava on the floor, hard. “Fuck! All right, I’ll leave in the morning. I just want to make sure Mylee wakes up with a clear head. Plus, I don’t wanna leave without saying goodbye to her.”
I nod my head as does Torque, it makes perfect sense. Plus, Mylee would hate it if her dad left without a goodbye. “I’m going to go talk to Ace after I clean up. I want to dig up as much shit on this Everett jackass as I can before morning,” I mention trying to gain some favor.
Crest lets out a small laugh. “Trust you to go all protector on her, guess it’s damn obvious from this shit show.”
“If some guy’s out to hurt Mylee, you can rest assured I’m going to find a way to bring that bastard down.”
Crest leans inward crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not entirely convinced he’s out to hurt her, it’s more about wanting to be with her in his own twisted fucked-up way. I think we can see that by the way he’s telling his friends he’s in a relationship with her, when clearly he isn’t.”
“Wanting to be with her is even worse. And not gonna happen.”
Crest chuckles, his chest puffing out as his arms drop to his sides. “Thought you might have something to say about that, too.”
“Mylee belongs to me, not some fucking insane senator’s asshole son.”
Torque raises his brow as does Crest, they both swivel toward me.
“Careful boy, that’s sounding awfully close to claiming talk,” Crest grunts.
While letting out a small huff, I take a calming breath. Torque looks at me sternly. “All I’m saying is while she’s here, she’s mine. I’m going to take care of her, no one else is gonna come near her. Fair enough?”
Crest relaxes, a direct gaze set firmly on me. “Right! But don’t you dare think about putting a claim on my little girl without discussing it with me. Get your damn head on straight first, then talk to me if you’re gonna do it…” his face turns red, “… or I swear to God, I will end you.”
“I hear you. Don’t worry. I’ve tried to claim her once already, and it failed. Not gonna go there again anytime soon.”
Silence filters through the Chamber. He looks at me like he knows how much of a hard time it was for me. Crest reaches out grabbing my hand, lifts me from the floor, then squeezes my shoulder. “It’s shit how things went down when she left, Trax. She was ill. She wasn’t thinking straight. I had to get her into the hospital. You were the collateral damage in all the mess. Yeah, that’s fucked, but it is what it is. Just know… she never stopped loving you.”
Taking a deep breath, I lower my head. “I’m glad she got the help she needed. I wish I were a part of it... I wanted to be.”
“I know. At the time it was too damn hard, but now you can be here for her.”
My head bobs as Torque looks at me. His mouth twitches, his lips tilting. “I think we can all agree this is the best place for Mylee right now. Trax’ll watch out for her. We have no immediate threats to our club. The Yakuza are gone, the Andretti’s are on our side. Everything’s quiet on our end… I can’t foresee any problems, Crest. She should be safe here, for now.”
Crest exhales like he’s relieved. “Good. I trust you both with her, that’s why I brought her to you.”
“We won’t fail you, or her,” I express.
“I know you won’t…” Crest pauses. “Enough of this. Let’s get this fucking mess cleaned up, have some more booze, forget about what happened in here, and have a good night. Yeah?”
Torque gestures to lead us out of the chamber to a night of frosty beverages. I hope I’m the right person for this job, if not, Crest is going to maim me.
Just like I maimed Miller.
CHAPTER SIX
MYLEE
The Next Day
My head feels kind of groggy. I know this feeling well, but I haven’t experienced it for some time. My eyelids are heavy as I open and close them a few times trying to gather my bearings. My mouth feels like cotton wool, it’s so dry. I need a drink as I slowly sit up taking in the strange surroundings. I vaguely remember coming in here last night, but it’s all such a blur.
I had a panic attack.
Bec
ause of that, I had the pills, and now my memory of it all is slightly foggy.
Bits and pieces filter through my brain. Trax was a part of it.
As I look around the room, I realize I’m in a clubhouse, but it’s not Dad’s.
I’m at Defiance.
I’m at Trax’s club.
I came here with Dad to get away from Everett. It’s all coming back to me now. It’s clearer as the pictures start to replay in my mind.
Damn, I hate having these blackouts when I wake from an episode.
Why does everything have to be in such a fucking fog?
Squinting, I rub my eyes trying to wake myself up a little more. I have no idea on the time other than it’s daylight outside. Glancing to the side table, I see a glass of water. My eyes open wide in delight as I reach for the glass downing the entire contents without hesitation. The cotton balls in my mouth only marginally dissipate—I’m always thirsty these days.
Damn meds.
Standing from the bed, the blanket falls away from me. I stumble a little but quickly right myself as I take a steadying breath.
I’m okay.
I can do this.
I’m a strong woman.
I’ve been through far, far worse than one panic attack.
On the floor, I notice my ballet flats, so I slide them on before I walk to the door. Taking a deep breath with my hand on the handle, I mentally tell myself, I can do this.
Opening the door, the sounds from the clubroom waft down the hall along with the smell of bacon. My lips slowly incline as I walk down the hall toward the clubroom. I have no idea what I’ll be walking into, but I know I can’t hide out in my room forever. That’s not the girl I am anymore. So I hold my head high stepping into the clubroom.
There’s a general buzz in the room—bikers eating breakfast, club girls serving food—an alive atmosphere of energy pulsing through the air. These guys all look happy like everything’s fallen into place for them. Which is the complete opposite for me, of course. My life seems to be slowly falling out of sync again. Which is alarming me.
