Still following Way, her feet crunched over gravel, the sound—crunch, crunch, crunch—scraping at her nerves. She stared at the back of his head and the short dark hair she’d spent half the night digging her fingers into.
She opened her mouth, tried to force out a breath.
Pressure.
Too much.
She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t contain the hurt. Waylon Kingston would not bring her to her knees.
Her eyes throbbed and…shit. Moisture bubbled up.
Crying? Really?
He didn’t deserve her tears. Not for one second.
She lifted her chin, swiped at her eyes, but the horrific pressure refused to quit and sent more tears streaming down her cheeks.
Way reached his car, but she couldn’t get in yet. Not like this. Not when he could see.
She spun away, taking a few steps. Yes, she’d look nuts, but what else was knew?
A police cruiser pulled into the driveway.
“Really?” she gasped.
Just her luck. Total emotional collapse and Maggie shows up?
Once again, she wiped her cheeks and ran her wet hands over her shirt.
Way’s shirt. My God.
She let out a caustic laugh. “Terrific. My walk of shame.”
“Well,” Way said, closing his car door. “This gets better and better.”
On that, they agreed.
She tipped her head up, shook off the negativity, while Maggie exited her car. Lord, showing weakness in front of Maggie, the strongest, most capable woman Roni knew, only added to the humiliation.
Worse, Maggie was in full, pristine uniform. Buttoned up to the fucking teeth, complete with gun belt hanging on her hips. All while Roni stood in a wrinkled T-shirt smelling like sex. Another fresh wave of humiliation toppled her.
On her approach, Maggie eyed Roni’s outfit, then shifted to her brother’s bedhead. Didn’t take a genius to figure this one out.
“Morning,” she said, keeping her gaze firmly off of the Harley Davidson T-shirt belonging to her brother.
“Hi.” Roni gestured to Way’s SUV. “I was…um…”
Why bother? Maggie had eyes and she sure as hell wasn’t stupid.
“Just leaving?” Maggie, ever-so-helpful, suggested.
“Yep. Heading back to town.”
Where Roni would attempt to keep Mrs. Tasky out of harm’s way by clearing out and finding somewhere to hunker down until she figured something out.
Make a plan.
That’s what she’d do. Determine how to keep her bosses happy while getting Way Kingston out of her mind and heart.
Maggie cocked her head. “Are you upset? Your eyes are red.”
Oh, honey. I’m more than upset.
Explaining to Maggie meant revealing weakness. She’d broken one of her cardinal rules of law enforcement by becoming personally involved with a suspect.
“I’m fine,” Roni said. “Tired.”
Ach. Nothing like insinuating she’d been up all night. Having sex.
With Maggie’s brother.
But, Maggie, being the pro she was, breezed right over that. “It’s been a rough few days. But I need a word with you both.” She peered over Roni’s shoulder to where Way stood. “How about I drive Roni back to town and then come back to see you.”
“I’ll take her,” he said. “I’ll make sure she’s safe.”
“Waylon, I’m a sheriff.” Maggie patted her sidearm. “I think she’ll be fine with me.”
When Way didn’t respond, Roni angled back to him. Time to put them both out of misery. “Maggie will take me back.”
He didn’t like it. She saw that clearly enough by his granite cheeks and hard stare.
Pissy.
Well, too bad. She knew what she needed and it was distance from him. Enough that she’d have her little meltdown and be done.
“All right,” he drawled. “No chance of me winning this one. Both of you be careful. And text me when you get to town so I know you’re okay. Mags, I’ll see you when you get back.”
Maggie waited for him to get inside, then turned back to Roni, rolling her bottom lip out. “You know, my brother can be a challenge. On many levels.”
Ya think? “I’m learning that. Thank you for the tip.”
“You’re welcome. I definitely don’t want to be in the middle of you two, but I’m here if you want to talk. You’re still my friend and I don’t like seeing you cry.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Don’t lie to me. I’m a woman, I understand disappointment when it comes to men.”
No denying it. She’d already misled Maggie once. Doing it again might dissolve their relationship completely.
Trust doesn’t come with a refill.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you in the middle either.” Roni circled her hand in front of her chest. “I’m…churned up. This case. It’s complicated.”
“It is. Which is why I’m telling you I’m here if you want to talk. I know what this feels like.”
“What?”
“Getting too close to a case. I fell in love with Jay when I was supposed to be protecting him. Talk about questioning your competence. Women like us don’t allow ourselves the frivolity of love.”
Women like us. Before this week, Roni might have considered herself worthy of Maggie’s respect. Now? She didn’t belong in the same town, never mind on the same level. “Not when we let it screw with our objectivity we don’t.”
“Is that what you did?”
She shrugged. “I was sent here to do a job.”
“And you’re doing it.”
“I also crawled into bed with your brother.”
Maggie’s head snapped back and she blew a long breath through her lips. “Maybe you could have censored that last bit. But, hey, since you didn’t and here we are, I will reiterate, he’s a challenge. He’s stubborn and opinionated. At times, he has a temper and says things he immediately regrets. As his sibling, I’ve learned this the hard way.”
All of this would have been handy to know a few days ago. Now it only reinforced Roni’s idiocy.
“But,” Maggie continued, “he’s also generous and caring. Did you know he drops supplies off at area shelters after every trip he makes to the grocery store? Homeless, pet, battered women. Any shelter he can find, he goes in, dumps a load of stuff and leaves. Last summer, some drunk butthead drove his car across the baseball diamond in the middle of the night and tore that sucker to shreds. The league did a fundraiser to raise money for the repairs. Way matched the funds. Ten thousand dollars. Just handed it over. His heart, Roni, despite his tendency to be a moron, is huge.”
Hearing these things, amazingly good things, only confused her. She’d known about the animal shelter, but the rest of it? That was new information.
She had no doubt that underneath the obstinance was a good man. But Way was a lone wolf.
“The problem is, Mags, I need more. I want to be someone’s partner. To share my opinions.” She smiled. “Set him straight when he’s making catastrophic mistakes.”
“Oh, boy. He loves that.”
“Exactly. I think we can chalk this one up to a misstep. Plain and simple. I wanted to keep you out of the personal aspects of it. You’re important to me, Maggie.”
Maggie waved that off. “This has nothing to do with us. I’m a neutral party.”
Thank God. Roni didn’t deserve Maggie, but she’d continue to be grateful. “Thank you.” She glanced at the cruiser. “I need to go. Calls to make. Did you hear about Clay Bartles?”
“I did. I’ve been pulling frangible bullet shootings every day and saw it in my report.”
“That’s why you’re here.”
“Yeah. But not about the case. I thought I’d check on my brother. He’s a nuisance sometimes, but his friend was just murdered. Possibly by a bullet he designed. Can you imagine?”
No. She couldn’t. She’d been so busy trying to work the problem, she’d forgotten Way w
ould be grieving his friend. Reacting to the devastating news.
Something that might make him irrational.
How many ways could she mess this up? Roni ran her palms up over her forehead. “I didn’t even ask him. I’m such a jerk.”
“Nah. You’re in get-’er-done mode, trying to keep him from responding out of emotion.”
“And you’re too kind. I’ve made a mess of things.”
“I think you both need a few hours to settle in with this information. Figure out the next steps. I’ll take you back to Mrs. Tasky’s so you can get some rest.”
“I’m going to a hotel. After what happened on the mountain, if someone is after me, I don’t want Mrs. Tasky hurt.”
“Understood. But you’re not going to a hotel. You’ll stay with Jay and me. Our place is a fortress, and he left yesterday for a magazine shoot in New York. The company would be nice and maybe we can compare notes. Try and figure this out.”
Before Roni could respond, Maggie waved her keys. “Let’s go. You can soak in the tub in my room. Borrow whatever you need from the closet. We’ll get your stuff from Mrs. Tasky’s later.” She turned toward the house, then paused, looking back over her shoulder. “And don’t worry about Way. He’ll come around.”
Somehow, after this last exchange, Roni didn’t think so.
23
Maggie.
Terrific.
Way stood in his kitchen waiting on brewing coffee while the aroma of Miss Joan’s pecan blend kept the last of his patience from going completely bust.
Everything good could be found in Miss Joan’s coffee. And with this pisser of a day—not even 8:00 yet—he needed the caffeine, because holy hell, how many strong-willed women did a man have to deal with in one morning?
Well, if Maggie thought she’d come in here and poke at him, she could hop back into that cruiser and leave.
She knocked once on the back door, spotted him through the glass, and came in.
“Hey,” she said.
As the coffeepot gurgled beside him, Way turned to face her. “Hey. Coffee is on. And fair warning, I’m in a mood.”
His sister held her hands up. “I come in peace.”
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. He blew out a breath. “Excellent. Is Roni settled?”
“Yeah. I took her to my house.”
Perfect. Security at Maggie’s included a gated entrance and surveillance cameras in every available place. No one would get near the house without an alarm going off.
Maggie pointed at the coffeepot. “Can I get a cup of that?”
He pulled another mug from the cabinet, poured two cups, and handed one off to Maggie before heading to the fridge for creamer.
“I’ll drink it black,” she said.
“No milk?”
“No. Jay cut back on dairy, so I’m being supportive. Sucks to be me sometimes.” She sipped the steaming brew and winced. “Lord, I don’t know how you drink it so strong.”
“Easy. I like it.”
And, hello? His sister giving up dairy? The cheese deprivation alone could kill her. “What’s that like?”
“What?”
He shrugged. “Caring enough to give up something you love.”
“Cheese limitations aside, it’s pretty freaking awesome. He loves me, so it doesn’t feel like a hardship. Plus, he’s given me a most excellent life. If he wants to try different diets, I’ll do it. No question.” Maggie held up the mug in toast. “Even if it does take a bit of adjusting.”
Adjusting. Something he wasn’t particularly good at. Maybe it was a control thing with him. The need to have his world operating on his terms. No surprises.
The military had given him too many surprises. Roadside bombs that blew off limbs, foreigners spitting on him just for being American, terrorists that beheaded people to make some unknown point Way would never comprehend.
But then there were good surprises, too. Like the kids who’d squeal when he handed them lollipops. Talk about tragic. A kid who’d never had a lollipop?
“Mags, you may have noticed, I suck at adjusting.”
“Correction, Waylon. You suck at adjusting to certain things. Relationships being one of them.”
He nodded toward the driveway. “Did she tell you?”
“About crawling into bed with you? She sure did.”
Way winced. “Damn, you women. Is there anything you don’t talk about?”
“For the record, I could have done without the specifics. I don’t care if you get involved with my friend. We’re all adults. As long as you respect each other and don’t make me a go-between, I’m all good. What I care about is the two of you shredding each other.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. Frankly, it’s none of your business.”
“Ha. There’s the Waylon I know and love.”
He snorted. “I’ll tell you this, though; I like her spunk. She’s…”
What? Smart. Beautiful. Persistent.
Maddening.
All of the above?
“Aggressive,” Maggie offered.
“Yeah. Most of the time, in a good way.”
“Except when you don’t want to be challenged. When you want it your way.” She held up her hand. “Before you start yelling, I get it. We come from the same DNA, and we know when we’re right. To our very core, we know it. The problem with relationships, and trust me, I had to learn this with Jay because we’re both alphas—”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Funny man. Shut up a minute.”
Way whipped off a smile. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie.
“Anyway,” Maggie said, “the problem with relationships is this little thing called compromise. And when you have two stubborn people, that can be downright painful. An absolute bloodbath.”
“Exactly. I’m not into pain, Mags.”
“Well, baby brother, welcome to life. It’s filled with pain. Paralyzing, mind-numbing pain that you can’t escape.”
“Sounds terrific.”
“Actually, when you love someone, it is. You don’t mind the pain because you know you’d step in front of a bus—or worse—for that person. And vice versa. Jay and I have blowouts. It’s not paradise every day. We’re independent people with major hang-ups. Honestly, our relationship works because he travels so much. It gives us time to miss the other. When he retires, there will be major adjusting to do.”
“You realize how twisted that sounds, right?”
She waggled her hand. “Maybe it’s twisted. Maybe not. He left yesterday for New York. Last night, I curled up on my couch with Riley and had girl time. Then I soaked in the giant tub and had the bed to myself. Total peace. No phones ringing. No agents demanding his time. It was great, Waylon. I mean, off the charts.”
“Where’s the but?”
“I woke up four times last night. He wasn’t next to me and I hate that. The push-pull of relationships defies logic.”
“And this is fun?”
“Oh my God, yes. It’s more than fun. It’s harmony.”
“So what are you telling me? I have to give up the life I want.”
“Not at all. But you have to make room in your life, Way, or you’re going to spend it alone.”
Alone. Like the old guy in Guam.
Before Roni Fenwick showed up, alone didn’t seem so bad.
Now? He couldn’t stop thinking about her. About her drive and determination. Her balls-to-the-wall attitude.
He set the mug on the counter. “She makes me nuts sometimes. I mean, how is it possible to love and despise the same thing about someone?”
“Silly boy. Welcome to the world of relationships.”
Running his hands over his face, Way sighed. “It’s so complicated.”
Maggie walked to the sink and dumped her coffee out. “I can’t drink this. Sorry.”
“Whatever.”
Beside him, she propped one hip against the counter. “Look, take it slow. You and Roni just met. You’re figuring each other out.
When it comes to her—and I’m not talking behind her back here, she admits it—she has abandonment issues.”
“I know.”
“So, you being you, wanting to hit the road on a whim, will need to be dealt with.”
“I can’t give that up.”
“I’m not saying you need to. But you’ll have to figure out the compromise. Respect what she’s survived and make sure she knows, without question, that you’re coming back to her.”
He cocked his head. Thought about it. Didn’t seem so hard. “I could do that. No problem.”
“And, when she tells you what to do, be aware it’s about controlling her environment. You, of all people, should understand that. She thinks if she can control everything, she won’t get hurt.”
“She’s vulnerable.”
Maggie poked a finger at him. “Precisely! Believe it or not, underneath all that piss and vinegar, she’s terrified. And, if you ask me, your heart is big enough to help her with that. You have an amazing capacity to love.”
Jesus H. Christ, now she was pouring it on.
Heat stormed his cheeks. He looked down at his boots, spotted a smidge of dirt on the floor, and swung one foot back and forth over it.
Maggie laughed. “I’m embarrassing you?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s weird, Mags.”
“No it’s not. You show people all the time how good you are. That’s what drew Roni to you. Embrace it. If you enjoy spending time with her, talk to her. But if this is some kind of adrenaline-fueled attraction due to crisis, you need to end it. It’s not fair to her.”
Talking. His favorite thing.
Not.
But, his sister had a point.
And while they were at it…
“Mags, can I ask a favor?”
Her eyebrows hitched up. “Always. You know that.”
He’d have to handle this carefully. Not say something that would trip one of Maggie’s triggers, something he seemed to be good at. “When I left the Marines, I wanted to come home. Back to my family.”
“And we’re incredibly happy you did. We missed you.”
“Which makes me really thankful. It does.”
“Oh, wow. I hear a but coming. Are you leaving?”
“Noooo. No way.”
“Phew. You scared me. Mom would freak.”
Burning Ache Page 25
