‘You nailed it,’ she agreed.
‘Thanks to you,’ he said, dipping his head to kiss her once, and then again and again. ‘You know, I never thought I’d say this,’ he admitted when they finally broke apart.
‘Say what?’ Jen prompted.
‘That I really love being with you.’
‘That’s it?’ she demanded.
He teased her with a thoughtful look. ‘That I love working with you?’
‘I think you’re being deliberately provocative.’
‘That I love making love to you?’
‘I should hope you do. And?’ she prompted. Her eyes were probably shining like beacons in the night, which made a nonsense out of everything she’d ever read about hiding her feelings or holding back, but she couldn’t help herself because she was in love with him, and she desperately wanted to hear Luca say again that he loved her too. His stare changed, heated. She knew those signs, and her body responded with enthusiasm. Seeing her answering fire, Luca swung her into his arms, and carried her out of the room. He ran up the stairs. They were both laughing, both on a high, celebrating life and each other.
‘That I love reassuring you?’ he suggested as he backed his way into the bedroom.
‘Not enough,’ Jen protested as he laid her down on the bed.
The look he gave her now said Luca knew exactly what was on her mind.
‘Not nearly enough,’ she complained, sitting up on the bed to brush her lips against his stubble-roughened cheek.
‘Okay,’ he agreed, pulling back and adopting a serious expression. ‘I can see I’ll have to do better.’
‘You’ll have to do a lot better,’ she assured him as Luca began stripping off his clothes. ‘I’m depending on it.’
She was naked seconds later. Stretching out his length against her, Luca drew her into his arms, and, cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her so tenderly that tears stung the backs of her eyes. She’d never been so happy. She’d never thought herself capable of experiencing anything like this.
Pulling back, Luca stared steadily into her eyes, and his expression had changed, from teasing to serious. ‘I love you,’ he said, and then his mouth tugged up at one corner as if he couldn’t believe it, either. ‘Just that,’ he admitted. ‘Pure and true. Love’s more important than anything else, don’t you agree?’
‘Absolutely,’ Jen whispered. ‘Oh, yes, I certainly do.’
As he stroked Jen’s hair after making his declaration, he wanted the moment to last for ever. He had never felt this close to anyone. He had never told a woman that he loved her, apart from his mother, and then he’d been a little boy, and that memory was a distant bell he could hardly hear now. Finding love with Jen was so unexpected it made it even more special. He wanted to frame the moment, and brand it on his mind. ‘I love you,’ he whispered again.
‘We’re stronger together than we are apart, for sure,’ she said confidently.
He laughed. ‘You’re always so certain.’
‘Yes. I am,’ she agreed. ‘Shouldn’t I be?’
He kissed her to reassure her. ‘Of course you should. Why not?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, frowning. ‘You tell me...’ She smiled trustingly into his eyes.
He might never get another moment like this. Their barriers were down and they were being completely honest with each other. He had been waiting for the right moment, and if he was ever going to ask Jen about Raoul’s intentions, this was the right—the only moment?
‘Is there anything you can tell me about Raoul’s will that you might have forgotten?’ he said.
Jen was sure her blood had been replaced by ice. She stared at Luca blankly. ‘What do you mean?’ Her voice barely made it to a whisper, and then that whisper was hoarse. She couldn’t understand the question. What did he think she knew about his brother’s will? The one thing she could be sure about was that Raoul would never put anything down in writing that might rebound on someone he cared deeply about.
‘Jen?’
Luca was staring at her with that teasing, enquiring expression that she usually loved. It had always warmed and reassured her in the past, but right now it was doing the opposite. How could he think this was an appropriate time to ask the question? Her hands were shaking as she grabbed the sheet to cover herself.
‘It’s a simple question, Jen. All I’m asking is that you tell me any detail that Raoul might have let slip about his will.’
‘His will?’ she repeated numbly.
‘Yes—come on, Jen. Raoul talked to you—he must have mentioned it.’
‘Must he?’ She was still frowning, still confused, and no doubt staring at Luca like a complete idiot, which was how she felt, but not for the reasons he probably imagined. She could sense his impatience rising, which suggested Luca must have been brooding on this for some time. She didn’t want to think too deeply about what that meant, or how it might affect the tender green shoot of their new relationship.
‘Come on,’ he prompted, smiling encouragement. ‘I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. You’ve already admitted that Raoul confided in you. He must have mentioned this—’
‘I admitted?’ she repeated, staring at Luca with fresh eyes. ‘Am I being accused of something?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he exclaimed, throwing himself off the bed. He began to pace. ‘And don’t look at me like that.’
‘Like what?’ she queried.
‘As if you’re seeing me for the first time.’
‘Maybe I am.’
‘Jen—’
‘What?’ Climbing off the bed, she took the sheet with her, winding it around her like a shroud. It was hard to walk, almost impossible, but the mere fact of arranging yards of white cotton so she could put some distance between herself and Luca gave her something else to concentrate on apart from the seething hurt inside her.
‘Jen—please.’ Coming to her side, Luca caught hold of her.
‘Let me go,’ she warned.
There was something in the tone of her voice that made him lift his hands away. Holding them up, palm flat in a sign of surrender, he demanded, ‘What?’
She didn’t trust herself to say anything. Whatever she said now could only sound bitter and hurt. She’d waited a month for Luca to come back, and now he had returned, the mistrust between them had erupted all over again.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SHE WAS SICK in the sink. She had retreated to the bathroom and locked the door. Luca was on the other side of the door, his voice ringing with concern. ‘Jen? Are you all right in there?’
All right?
She was devastated. Luca’s words kept washing over her in big, drowning waves. Raoul’s will? What was behind the question? Did Luca think she had something to gain from Raoul’s will? Raoul was broke, as far as she knew. That was what he’d told her. Raoul wouldn’t lie to her. Why would he? She’d never believed in his so-called ‘expectations’. Lots of gamblers kidded themselves about things like that. It hadn’t mattered to Jen. She hadn’t cared if he had money or not, apart from the fact that the lack of it had made things hard for Raoul. She’d tried to help him. She’d never judged people on what they were worth. She had never seen how that was relevant. She either liked people, or she didn’t, and she had liked Raoul very much—
‘Jen!’
Luca’s shout seemed to be enough to upset her stomach again, and she lurched back to the sink just in time.
‘Jen, answer me, or I’m coming in. I’ll break the door down—’
‘Leave me alone.’
‘Jen—I’m warning you—’
‘Shut up!’ Her scream bounced off the walls, and it was she who kicked the door.
Sluicing her face in cold water, she dried her face and stared at her ashen reflection in the mirror with alarm. Grabbing a robe from the back of the door, she belted it securely. ‘I’m coming out.’
Luca had tugged on his pants and stood towering over her like a monument to masculine p
ride. ‘How dare you?’ she challenged him. ‘All this time when I thought we were getting closer, you’ve been brooding about your brother’s will.’
‘Forgive me, Jen—’ Luca was as tense as she’d ever seen him. ‘I haven’t handled this well.’
‘Understatement. I can’t even get my head around it,’ she admitted. ‘You tell me you love me, and ten seconds later prove that your only concern is Raoul’s money.’ She made an involuntary sound of distress as she glanced at the rumpled bed. ‘Was this all part of your master plan?’
‘There is no master plan. There’s a lot more to it than that.’
She huffed a humourless laugh. ‘I’m sure there is.
‘Raoul was a very wealthy man—’
Jen laughed with incredulity. ‘You’re just making it worse,’ she exclaimed as she realised that feelings could change in a moment, and trust could be destroyed even faster than that.
Luca’s stare didn’t waver from her face. ‘I can’t avoid the truth.’
‘And is that supposed to reassure me?’ Jen exclaimed. ‘And, by the way, are you talking on your own behalf, or for your father?’
‘I represent the Tebaldi family. I’m protecting the family, as I always have.’
‘From me?’ Jen’s lips felt numb. Luca’s words had smashed every atom of feeling out of her. She had believed him when he said he loved her, and now this. ‘I don’t understand what you’re getting at,’ she admitted. ‘If you could try to explain—’
‘So you really know nothing?’
‘Less than,’ she stated, angry now. ‘I didn’t even know Raoul had a will. The subject never came up. Raoul was young. He didn’t expect to die. And he didn’t have any money, as far as I knew. You insist Raoul was a wealthy man? Then, why did he have to borrow money from me? He was grateful for a twenty, Luca. Does that sound like a man I called my friend for any reason other than he was a great guy?’
‘I don’t know,’ Luca admitted.
‘Well, that’s a sad reflection on your relationship with your brother—and even worse on your true feelings when it comes to you and me.’
Hurt lashed through her when Luca remained silent. Raoul had seemed like a lost soul to Jen. He’d been uprooted, Raoul had told her, and longed for nothing more than acceptance from his family, so he could begin the long road to recovery from his gambling addiction with the help of true friends.’
‘Raoul had substantial expectations,’ Luca said at last.
‘Expectations?’ Jen repeated with a frown on her face. ‘Yes. I remember Raoul’s expectations, but I thought he was kidding himself.’
‘No. My brother was about to become a very wealthy man.’
Jen shook her head with exasperation. ‘You’re making it all about money again.’
‘Yes. I am.’
As this sank in she resented the fact that Luca had made her feel defensive and angry. ‘How cold you make it sound—as if money could have saved your brother. I’ll tell you what could have saved Raoul—love could have saved him. Understanding could have saved him. A few minutes of your precious time might have saved him—
‘Don’t! Take your hands off me!’ she raged when Luca took hold of her shoulders to try and make her face him. ‘Don’t you ever touch me again. You have no right—’
As she flung herself out of his grip she saw Luca’s grimace of pain, but it was too late for that, just as it was too late for either of them to revisit the past. They couldn’t help Raoul any more than she could bring Lyddie back, and she would not have her friendship with Raoul tarnished by this talk of his money.
‘What can I say to make things right?’ Luca asked quietly, standing stiffly like a statue, alone and isolated.
‘Nothing,’ she said coldly. He might be used to solving every problem, but he couldn’t solve this. What had happened to Luca’s brother had to be agony for him, but Luca’s remorse couldn’t save him from the pattern she’d seen emerging. He’d been close to his brother, and had found it all too easy to pull away, and now he was doing the same to her. She had no intention of sticking around to be hurt and blamed to ease his guilt.
‘Jen?’
Slamming a hand across her mouth, she rushed back to the bathroom. It had to be all the raised emotions getting to her, Jen reasoned, hoping she’d make it in time.
It was several minutes before Jen raised her head from the sink, and when she saw her green face in the mirror, she groaned. ‘No. Please. No...’ The emotional turmoil had been enough to churn her stomach, but this sickness had no connection with that, she suspected. It made perfect sense. Her hormones were all over the place. Her emotional outburst was just another symptom. She was pregnant with Luca’s baby.
‘Jen?’ He was calling to her with more urgency now. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Go away!’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Luca assured her. ‘I’m worried about you—’
‘It’s too late for that,’ she assured him.
Never had a truer word been spoken, Jen thought tensely.
‘We need to talk,’ Luca insisted.
‘I’ve got nothing to say to you.’ She held her breath, hoping he would leave, while a really big part of her hoped that he wouldn’t.
‘Jen, I’m sorry—’
‘Your apology might be more convincing, if you explained what you’re trying to get at when you keep talking about your brother’s money.’
‘Come out of there, and we will talk. We can’t discuss anything like this.’
She didn’t dare to leave the sanctuary of the bathroom, not yet. She needed time for her stomach to settle, and time to compose herself so she could ask some sensible questions.
‘Did you know Raoul made you the main beneficiary of his will?’
She slid down the wall to the floor. No. And she couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t care about Raoul’s money. It was the last thing on her mind.
‘Did you hear me, Jen?’
She’d heard him, but she couldn’t speak. She was overwhelmed by grief for a man neither of them had been able to save, and for a sister who would never see Jen’s baby.
‘I need a moment,’ she choked out.
* * *
None of this made sense, Jen reflected. Raoul had left everything to her? Raoul had left what to her? Raoul didn’t have any money. The only thing she could be sure about was that she was as naïve in love as she was in life, and now a baby would suffer because of it. Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, she concentrated on settling her stomach, wondering if it would behave long enough for her to leave the bathroom so she could straighten things out with Luca.
Some minutes passed, and then a few more, until finally she was as confident as she could be that the worst of the sickness was over. Smoothing her hair, she chewed some colour into her lips.
Cleaning her teeth, she swilled her mouth.
‘Sorry,’ she called out. ‘I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. I’ll be right there.’ Bracing herself, she opened the door. ‘You were saying something about Raoul’s will?’
‘I think we’d both better sit down.’
She confronted Luca’s dark stare steadily. ‘I’d rather stand.’
Luca frowned, as if her cool tone surprised him. She guessed he was surprised she could be so detached. He should have realised that, like him, she had learned to distance herself from feelings after the trauma of Lyddie’s death. She’d had to, or she’d have gone mad.
‘Just tell me what you know about Raoul’s will.’
‘Very little,’ she admitted. ‘I shared a lot with your brother, but not that. We never talked money—just that one time when he needed my help.’ She smiled faintly, remembering Jay-Dee telling her that Raoul didn’t even own the clothes he stood up in. He couldn’t afford dry cleaning, and had regularly helped himself from Jay-Dee’s wardrobe.
‘Raoul’s trust fund,’ Luca prompted tensely. ‘He must have told you something about i
t?’
‘Nothing.’ Jen’s mind raced to confirm that this was true. ‘Raoul never mentioned a trust fund. I didn’t know anything about it.’
‘And no reason why you should,’ Luca agreed.
‘So what’s this about, Luca?’ She badly needed to sit down. Standing after being so sick was making her feel faint again. She discreetly steadied herself on the arm of a chair.
She should have known he’d spot the momentary weakness, and Luca was at her side within a moment. There was a long silence, and then he said, ‘Do you think you’re pregnant?’
‘What?’ Jen had her own suspicions, but she wasn’t ready to share them with Luca. ‘First the trust fund and now this? Have you got any more accusations up your sleeve?’
‘I’m not accusing you of being pregnant. I’m just asking the question. I recognise the signs—’
‘That’s a bold claim for a man to make,’ she interrupted. All her hurt spilled out at once. ‘How many women have you got pregnant?’
‘None,’ Luca said, looking genuinely shocked at her barb. ‘And you haven’t answered my question,’ he reminded her quietly. ‘Do you think you could be pregnant?’
‘Do you care?’
‘Of course I care! Dio, Jen! I can’t believe you’re asking me that. Do I look like a man who wouldn’t care for the mother of his child?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jen said honestly, still reeling from the shock of her own suspicion that she might be pregnant. ‘I don’t know if you’re capable of feeling. Your family history certainly doesn’t point to it.’
‘My father might have found it impossible to love anything more than himself, or his hoard of jewels, but that doesn’t mean I’ll repeat his mistakes. I’ve learned from the past. I haven’t been damaged by it.’
‘Are you saying I have?’ Jen’s hands balled into tight, angry fists. Luca was forcing her to confront a truth she had always shied away from.
‘I’m saying you were forced to take on a lot at an early age,’ he said gently. ‘I’m saying there was never anyone for you to turn to.’
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