by Jenni James
He caught her easily enough. She should have known Keel was made of sterner stuff, though she was a bit surprised that he bothered.
With a sigh, he said quietly, “If you would only listen.”
That was it. Of all the things to say to her, that comment stung the most. How many times had she listened? How many times had she heard the woes of all those around her? How many times had she stopped to help those in need, to work, to labor, to mend, to fix, to heal—whatever was needed, she was there. Countless times, she had listened and helped and built for others. Now it was her turn. This was her dream.
Why could no one see that this time, she needed someone to listen to her?
Her heart clenched amongst the jolting thoughts. Was it selfish to want to feel as if she belonged somewhere? Was it wrong to wish for her own dreams too? Or was that not what was expected of her?
She thought of all the times she had halted herself for Keel’s dreams. Was she not the first to help him plan, design, and create his portion of the palace on the eastern colony? Did she not spend months with him building the best possible dream home? Each room tailored to his needs, his wishes, his dreams?
And yet now, when all she wanted was to sit upon Graystone Reef for a few minutes and soak in the sunshine and the dry world around her, he told her she was daft. He attempted to stop her. As if she truly was naïve. As if she would actually risk her life simply to enjoy a few moments of peace.
Of course, she would check to see if danger lurked first. Of course, she would be sensible and all things wise. He must have truly believed the worst of her.
Her heart clenched again.
“Pearl?”
She felt his hand upon her shoulder as he gently tugged her to face him. She had stopped swimming at some point because they were both floating.
He inhaled fluid. “My goodness, you have turned purple.”
Had she?
“Have you been crying, dearest?” he asked as his other arm came around her shoulders.
“No,” she lied as she eagerly snuggled into his chest. It must have been habit to hug him as she did, for why else would she wish to do so when he was upsetting her?
“I am sorry. I should not have said what I did.” He pulled her in tighter. “You have always listened to those around you. I know this. You know this. Forgive me?”
KEEL COULD BARELY MAKE out Pearl’s mumbling into his shoulder.
“What is so wrong with me wishing to explore the world above us?” she asked.
He placed a tender kiss upon the side of her head, his stomach turning in knots at her desires. How could she not understand how dangerous it was for her? How easily he could lose her to this foolish dream of hers. He could not bear a moment in this ocean knowing she had died, or worse—been tortured by the barbarian humans.
She had not sat upon the royals’ counsels as he did. She did not fully understand the horrors the monsters on the land could do to something as fascinating as she would be to them. She had not heard of the wars and countless battles the humans had given the other merfolk colonies, what his own father had experienced when they fled their kingdoms. She had no true knowledge of the cruel people she so admired.
The idea of someone as sweet and as giving and as lively as his Pearl losing her life and happiness to them nearly destroyed him.
She believed the things her father spoke of to be simple shark tales, and she did not fully comprehend how horrific life would be for her up there. She wanted to go. Nay, she craved going, living amongst such a malicious and unusual species.
He thought he would be ill, but seeing her misery, he felt he had no choice. Though he would rather die himself than allow her the realities that would be found, he knew she would never, ever be settled until she learned what he knew.
Wrapping his arms more tightly around her, he whispered into her ear, “Pearl, would you really like to see the landfolk? To live among them and be like them?”
“You know it is all I have wanted for years now,” she muttered into his chest.
He nodded and pursed his lips, his own flushed face no doubt turning purple as he released the tears above her head she would never know about. Keel hid the rocking of emotion in his chest by slowly moving side to side with her as he silently wept.
Their worlds would never be the same.
She would never be as bright and perfect as she was now.
And he chanced losing everything if word that he took her to land ever came about. But he loved her. He loved her more than he did all the riches and glories awaiting him. He loved her more than she could ever grasp in her untried state. She had to live. She had to see for herself.
She had to find out just what this world was really made of.
And so he promised her the only thing he could. The greatest secret he had vowed to keep as a great prince of the colonized kingdoms, to protect and shelter it from all those who might become suspect to it.
Running his hands through her long, vibrant locks of red and weeping until he finally had a voice again, he eventually spoke the words that would forever bind him to her, and her to the world she had always wanted.
“I know how you can grow legs and live there. Not just visit as a mermaid, but safely, as one of the landfolk.”
She pulled away, her wide, eager eyes and shocked smile being all the encouragement he needed to set their lives in stone. He wondered if she would defeat all known expectations and meet a human she wished to marry and settle down with and have a school of children. But by taking her to the land and creating legs for her, he had no choice. He would forever seal his own fate to hers.
He would never marry. He would eternally remain her protector, and he would sacrifice his future for that smile.
Because he loved her.
Because she, of anyone, deserved to find happiness too.
“You know how to grow legs?” she asked.
“Yes, and I will come with you and protect you so you can find your destiny and live how you have always wished to live.”
PEARL’S HEART BEGAN TO thud in ways she had never known before. “Keel, are you saying what I think you are saying?”
He nodded and grinned slightly, his eyes watching her intently. “Yes. If you wish to become human, I know a way that can happen.”
“Are you jesting? How long have you known about this?”
“Ever since I first vowed to uphold my princely duties years ago.”
“And you are just now speaking to me of such things?” She did not know whether to be appalled that he did not tell her until now, or amazed that he actually knew a way to make it happen.
“Yes. I have sworn never to reveal this secret to a soul.”
Her frantic heart slowed a bit. “What do you mean, you have sworn never to tell?”
He shrugged and switched his fin a bit from her. “Just that I vowed never to reveal it.”
“Yes, but what will happen to you if you do?” Usually, to swear something meant dire punishment for breaking the rule. A punishment her father no doubt would initiate.
He glanced away, refusing to meet her eyes. “Nothing too painful, I am sure.”
“Keel?”
His gaze flicked briefly over her before staring out into the deep. “Yes?”
“What are you hiding from me?”
He looked right at her then, those sharp, aqua-colored eyes piercing her heart for several moments. So much pain she saw hidden in their depths.
“What is it, Keel? What has happened?”
He kissed her then. He sprang forward, closed his eyes, and his mouth found hers. She was lost. Her arms went around his neck as she sighed into his mouth, forgetting to remember anything but his wonderful kiss.
When he was done, he pulled back and gently took her hand. “Come. I will explain everything to you upon the reef, away from listening ears.”
“Oh, the reef! I had nearly forgotten.” Pearl chuckled as she searched for Halyki. The happy dolphin was chasing a school of
minnows. “Should we take her with?” she asked him.
“No. She will be perfectly fine out here for a bit. We should not be too long. And besides, she is still close enough to home that no one would suspect anything if they found her swimming about.” He gestured toward the surface. “Let us go now, before anyone is the wiser.”
Pearl needed no other persuasion. “Race you there!” she shouted behind her as she zoomed off.
“Hey!” Keel was quick to reach her and then soon passed.
She could just make out his trail of bubbles as she followed him ten or so miles a few feet under the surface to the reef. Pearl was a good, strong swimmer, but no one had ever been a match for Keel. It did not stop her from challenging him every chance she had, and even now, she was certain he was holding back so as not to lose her completely.
Her heart warmed. No matter what happened, he somehow found a way to protect her and think of her. She really did not deserve such a loyal and good friend as he was. And yet, there he was. Constantly, steadily, perfectly there.
In another life, without this mad, crushing weight upon her to explore and learn and grow, she could see herself somewhat happily settled with someone like Keel. He was so caring and strong, and like her own personal shield. There was great attractiveness in a partnership where one cared so much for the other.
Except that was the problem. She cared for him, yes. And she loved him—of course she did. But enough to care for him as he did about her?
Sighing, she surged forward, realizing she had lagged behind and did not want him to become worried.
She truly had a heart for no one in the sea. Her mind always lingered more on the world outside of the water. And until she had learned and seen all she could see, there really was no hope of marrying someone anyway. Especially not someone as wonderful as Keel. He deserved so much better than she could give him at this time. The merman needed a partner who thought the ocean of him. Who could devote her time and happiness to match what he would give her. Keel needed a woman who would love him with all her heart.
And as much as she hated to admit it—for the sting of her own lack of ability pained her most of all—Pearl was not the mermaid for Keel.
She was certain of it.
Now if only she could stop kissing him so easily. Then perhaps she could convince him of such a thing too.
BY THE TIME THEY reached Graystone Reef, the reflection through the water looked as though the sun would set soon.
Keel held out his hand. “Stay here while I check to see if we are safe.”
She rolled her eyes, but knew better than to argue with him, especially when the promise of what they were to discuss was more exciting than her insistence of being able to protect herself. No need to distract him now.
He came back quickly. “There is nothing out there.”
She popped her head above the water and watched in amazement as Keel easily heaved himself up on the jagged rock next to them. Then he held out his hand for her to grasp. As he pulled her up onto his tail with her back to his chest, he wrapped his arms around her to ensure she did not slip off. The awkwardness of their weight made it hard at first for her to sit properly.
“Here, lean against me, and I will aid you in being able to stay up.”
She did as she was told, and immediately felt the relief of pressure. “It is incredible how much heaviness there is in the air up here.”
He wrapped his arms tighter around her middle and spoke near her right ear, his warm breath sending a million zingling sparks all over her, especially mingled with the breeze of air around them. “Yes, it is the first thing our training as the elect princes must cover—how to gain enough strength to withstand the outside world easily.”
She could not think. She could not breathe. Everything about Keel felt different out of the ocean. The weight of his arms around her, her back against his . . . It all felt more real somehow. More something . . . she could not quite describe. But the sensations were tremendously unique and strangely, very comforting and attractive at the same time.
She closed her eyes and tucked her head against his neck as Keel continued to mutter about his experiences training for this. Even the tone of his voice was different out of the water. More crisp and deep and . . . and . . . almost perfect. Mmm. Pearl could listen to his words all evening and never get tired of them.
“Are you listening?” he whispered softly, which caused her to jump a bit.
“No.” She grinned and kept her eyes closed.
He chuckled, sending slight shivers down her back. “I did not think so.”
When she did not respond a few minutes later, he asked, “You really do love it up here, do you not?”
Pearl nodded. The warmth from the fading sun and light breeze slowly drying her hair was wonderful. Even the waves barely lapped around them, all was calm. She felt relaxed, and so deliciously free.
He kissed the side of her head and murmured, “I never want to let you go.”
She grinned slowly. “Then do not. Let us stay here just like this forever.”
KEEL’S HEART STUTTERED TO a stop and then sped up again. Of course, Pearl said things like this all the time and never meant any of them. He held back a sigh and decided to allow the moment to play out until the sun finished setting. This fragment of time was too stunning not to allow it to immerse them both in its glory.
She nestled in deeper as the sun slowly sank beneath the water before them, bathing them in rays of pink, purple, and red hues. He felt her muscles relax and melt into him. She truly was in her element. The soft air all around them must calm her in a way he would never understand.
He moved slightly and felt the sharp sting of the jagged rock of the reef under his tail. Above the ocean was a strange, cruel place. If you slipped while swimming, you merely bounced within the water and attempted again. When you fell on land, it was a lot less forgiving, and serious damage could occur to you. Even just her weight against him pressed the rough rock painfully into his scales. There was no ease here. Everything was heavier, harder, and much more brutal.
But it was what she wished to experience. He took a deep breath of air, his lungs expanding and drying as he did so. Even that hurt if one did not wait and inhaled too quickly at first. After a few more minutes of silence, sitting together in the twilight, he finally brought up what he knew she was waiting patiently to hear.
“When you officially take on the office of prince, one of the first things you must do is rise to the surface of the ocean and partake of a small amount of fluid, different from what is in the water. The liquid that you drink will transform your tail into legs. The whole process takes one or two hours, depending on the merperson.”
“You have done this?” she asked, turning around a bit to see him, and grinding his tail deeper into the jagged rock.
He grunted and shifted her to ease the pain. “Yes. I have.”
“And you never told me!” She moved again.
Quickly, he held her hips in place. “Yes. Remember, I could not tell you. I have been sworn to secrecy.”
“What happened? What was it like? How long were you transformed? Did it last awhile? When was this?”
“Good kettlefish, merwoman.” He chuckled. “Let me speak, and I promise I shall answer everything.”
“But I am so excited. I want to know everything now.”
Her bright eyes and wide smile were so pretty. “I can see that, but I can only talk so fast.”
“But—”
“And whatever you do, remain still, please.” He held on more firmly.
“Oh! Am I hurting you?” She bit her lip. “Sorry.”
“Not you—just this darn reef. Every time you jolt, I feel it below me.”
She gasped. And then coughed. He knew her lungs must not be as dry as his.
“Are you well?” he asked once her spasm had calmed down.
“Yes, but you are not.” She turned around slowly until her back was against his chest once more and then sa
id, “I am dreadfully sorry. I had completely forgotten how harsh this rock can be and how it can tear into our fins. Forgive me?”
“Hush. There is nothing to forgive. Now, to quell your curiosity, I was in a human state for about two days before I drank the antidote which returned my fins to normal again.”
“What happened? Did you go on land? Did you see it?”
He could tell she could barely contain her excitement. However, she did her best not to move. “No. We did not go on land. There were about ten of us that first time.”
“First time? Wait a minute . . .”
He cringed. He probably should have not mentioned he had done this more than once. “The first time, there were too many of us, and it would have looked deuced odd—a bunch of men dressed only in a seaweed covering coming out of the ocean onto the land.”
“Oh. What did you do?”
“We went to an abandoned reef much like this one, though more flat, and did some intense training, mostly attempting to balance and walk with legs—getting used to the heaviness out of water, that sort of thing.”
“And when you went again?”
He paused a moment to gather his thoughts, debating whether or not to tell her. It was something he had told no one before. Once he realized Pearl’s fascination with the land would not be diminished and would only continue to grow, he decided to go on land for a few days and gain what knowledge he could to see what she was actually wishing for. What he found did not make him happy, nor did it make him eager to return now.
He frowned.
“Keel?” she asked quietly. “Did you go a second time?”
“Yes.”
She must have felt the unease within him because she did not push for answers. She only said simply, “Oh. Was it nice?”
“No. It was not. In fact, it was rather horrific.”
“What happened?” she whispered after a few moments of silence. Then, when he did not respond straight away, she said, “If you would rather not tell me, I understand.”
He shook his head. “No. No, you do not realize. I went alone. I took some of the liquid and came to the seashore and walked onto the land.”
