by Robin Roseau
"I can't even speak to them."
"That is a temporary impediment."
I smiled. "I may not be able to run away, but if you think I'm learning Altearan, or that other language, you're mistaken."
"That is a separate conversation," she said. "You need two maids. Do you want me to acquire two others?"
"They have lives here, Larien!"
"Ask them," she said. "Ask them what they want. I vow I will translate honestly. I swear it. Shouldn't that part be their decision?"
"How much do they know?"
"What do you mean?"
"About how I came to be here?"
"Oh, enough."
"Fine." I turned to them. "I am angry. I do not abuse my maids, but I am angry, and I may remain angry. I would never hit you, but I may never be pleasant again."
"Really. You want me to say all that?"
"Yes, I want you to stay all that."
So she spoke for a moment. Neither girl really reacted.
"Explain to them where we're going," I said. "Then ask them if they really wish to give up their lives here to serve someone who so clearly doesn't wish to be in this country."
Larien spoke for a minute or two, but when she was done, both girls nodded and made pleading gestures with their hands.
"You spoke honestly?"
"Of course."
"How bad was their situation before? It must have been horrible."
"Lady Yallameenara, do you think girls as sweet as these two, and as good as these two, would have any problem finding good positions anywhere they wanted?"
I stomped over to her. "You I'm willing to hit. Should I lash out and see what answer they give?"
She lifted her eyes, somewhat defiantly. "You don't want to hit me."
"Oh, I do. I really do."
"I'm right here. Why haven't you?"
I stared at her. "Damn it. You could pretend to be afraid of me."
"Lady Yallameenara, I am very, very sorry this is as difficult for you as it is. But I have not lied to you today. Not once. Consider that I might be telling you the truth, and consider that you're already convinced I am. What do you think it means to me that you are here now?"
I made a disgusted sound and stomped to the windows. I opened one and saw it was barred on the outside.
"You should have expected those," she said.
"I suppose you're right." But the air smelled nice, and there was a lovely view of a garden. "Who are you, really?"
"I am Larien, a priestess of Yahamala."
"And before that?"
"I was an acolyte from when my hair turned, exactly on my fourth birthday."
"Your family?"
"I visit. My mother has modest lands southwest from here, not far from the border."
"Modest lands?"
"Orchards," she said. "She is not rich, but my family does not starve."
"You said you have magic."
"Yes."
I turned to her. "Did you use your magic on me?"
She paused, and I knew I had guessed well. "My magic is weak," she said. "It is not like yours."
"I have no magic."
"You will," she said. "Let us not argue about that, as neither of us can prove our point for some time."
"What did you do to me?"
"I did not make you love me. I heightened our mutual passion. It would not have worked if you weren't already fully willing."
"I don't know if I believe you."
"I could have lied entirely, but instead I admitted it."
I turned away again. "There have been two others. It was pleasant, but not as good as with you. Was that your magic?"
"Only some, Lady Yallameenara."
I thought about it. "In private, you may drop the Lady part." I'd never been comfortable with the title, and making her use my entire name was long enough.
"Thank you," she said.
"What is your role?"
"I serve you however you will allow."
"Why you?"
"I speak Framaran. I learned for you."
I spun at that. "What?"
"I was four years old when I became an acolyte, Yallameenara. Learning the languages of other lands isn't part of our teaching."
"You're taking me somewhere with no one who speaks a language I know."
"Maybe you'll be motivated to learn another."
"Do not sound smug about that," I said with a glower.
"I admit, Yallameenara, that I am having a very difficult time not smiling broadly. You are here. You perhaps have only a hint of an understanding what that means. I grieve for how we brought you here, but my heart sings that you are here. If I have not lied to you today, can you blame me?"
"This is ridiculous. You be the high priestess and send me home."
"We'll discuss that," she said.
"Ridiculous," I repeated. I looked around the room. "I require books."
"Where we are going there is a vast library."
"All written in Altearan."
"Some in the language of the Goddess."
"So I can't read them."
"You will learn."
I glared at her, but I wasn't sure it was any different than the looks I'd been giving, and it appeared she was immune.
"I will acquire a limited number of books in Framaran for you," she said. "Not many. You may have them for a while, but I will eventually take them away."
"I thought you said I could have anything I wanted."
"I promised you almost anything you want. You will have books if you want them. But you will learn the language of the Goddess. If you wish to talk to anyone else, you will also learn Altearan. We do not use the language of the Goddess in our daily lives, and no one outside the priestesses would be able to understand you."
"I thought I was the high priestess, and you were here to serve me."
"Ah," she said, and this time she smiled. "And when you finally accept your role and the responsibilities included, then I will have far less authority." She shrugged. "You can fight me, but you won't get what you want that way. You'll get a great deal if you work with me."
"I ride nearly daily. You know this. You are taking this from me."
"I am sorry about that. Maybe in time, if we grow to believe we can trust you, we can acquire horses for you."
"Arrlottan horses? You left Zana behind."
"That would be a very large favor, Yallameenara. But if you fully embrace your new life, you will find us deeply willing to do nearly anything you ask, including acquiring the horses you prefer. We would even negotiate with Queen Ralalta and attempt to retrieve Zana and Hamper."
I looked away. "She probably already destroyed them to punish me." And at that thought, I began to sob.
Travels
Larien stepped up beside me. "No, Yallameenara. No. Queen Ralalta is not a vindictive woman. Even if she is deeply angry, she would not do such a thing. And even if she believes you betrayed her, she doesn't know that. There are other explanations, including the truth. You were seen in the tavern. You were seen drinking far too much. And you were seen nearly incoherent as two sailors carried you to the ship. She will want explanations, yes. But even if you came willingly, you left Zana behind, and you left most of your things behind. You left most of your money. If you had planned to betray her, you wouldn't have left these things behind. She must consider there are other stories, even if she believes betrayal is most likely. I know in my heart that Zana and Hamper are safe."
"You don't know that."
"In my heart, and I trust my heart."
I spun to her. "I don't. You taught me not to."
"No, I did not, because I did not lie about how I feel. Zana and Hamper are safe."
I brushed at my tears, still gasping for air.
"Consider this. There were hundreds there today. By morning, word will be all over Lopéna. It will reach the embassy. You arrived in ropes, surrounded by soldiers. You spoke harshly, your anger clear. It will reach your embassy, perhap
s only as rumor. But from your embassy it will reach Queen Ralalta. She won't know what to believe, but she is a careful woman, and she will wait for the truth."
"I don't believe you," I said. "The price if this gets out is too high."
"Without proof, the price will not be high, and we will only say the rumors must be mistakes, that Alteara wouldn't possibly kidnap the queen's foster daughter. The thought is, as you say, ridiculous. If she has sufficient evidence you are here, she will demand access to you. When we don't give it, she will apply pressure. But Yallameenara, she won't go to war over you. You know she won't, as much as she loves you. She won't ask for those tens of thousands to die for one person."
"And you would?"
"No. We do not want war, either, but we must have you. There is much for you to learn, but we must have you. We must."
I shoved past her and moved to the bathing room, slamming the door. I spent several minutes there, collecting myself and putting my appearance to rights. When finally I stepped out, there was a table set up with plates of food waiting.
Larien gestured. "Dinner, Yallameenara. Will you allow me to join you?"
"Do what you want," I said. I crossed the room, pulled out a chair, and then examined the choices.
One of the maids -- Naddí -- tried to serve me, but I waved her away. Then I picked through the choices, poured some of the tea, and sat.
The tea tasted odd, and the food as well, but it was warm and sat easily. I ate carefully and only a portion of what I might normally.
Larien also ate, watching me at the same time. "Breakfast will be cold," she said, "and then there are days of travel."
"I am a girl of the horse people. I am accustomed to days of travel and far rougher fare than you have likely ever had." Then I softened. "More won't sit well."
"Perhaps more tea."
"I am unaccustomed to this flavor," I said. "That will take time."
"I'm sorry. I should have thought of that. I will acquire more familiar tea."
"It's fine," I said. I pushed away. "How soon do they expect us?"
"Whenever we return, Yallameenara."
"If we just ate, they are still eating."
"I imagine they are not eating much more than you have. We can go when you're ready."
"Five minutes then," I said. I returned to the bathing chamber and spent a little time there, but I was unable to fix my appearance. Finally, frustrated, I stepped out. "Can they fix me?"
"Of course." Larien spoke briefly, and the two girls hurried over, took my arms, and set me down. "What would you like?"
"If they must use makeup, use it very sparingly," I said. "I am not going back looking like I rethought my earlier decisions."
* * * *
It was more like ten minutes before we were ready. Larien and I headed for the door, but Féla spoke, and Larien stopped us. "There is much packing to do," she said. "What will you wear in the morning?"
"This," I said, "or something like it. They can leave everything else here."
"It will all travel with us, but no one will force you to wear it," she replied.
"I'll be in a carriage?"
"Yes."
I nodded and headed for the door. Larien spoke quickly then hurried to catch up. After that, she had to lead the way, because I had no idea where we were going.
She didn't take me back to the court room. Instead, we moved into the opposite wing of the palace and came to a door, not that different from my own, and I just knew we were at the door leading to the king and queen's chambers. There were two guards. One knocked and opened the door to slip inside. She stepped out a moment later, and they opened both doors to us.
We strode through.
They were not alone. There were other guards, stationed around the room, and a few attendants. And they had changed into more comfortable clothing. The attendants scurried out, and the doors closed behind them.
"From now until I step back into the corridor," I announced, "I will engage in no violence or attempt to escape. Send the guards away."
The king and queen communed again, and then the king spoke. The guards eyed me carefully, but the king spoke again, and they filed out. And then we were four.
"Please," said the queen with a gesture. "Sit." She gestured to a sofa. I moved around to it and plopped down stiffly. I never would have done that with Ralalta, but would have stood until she sat.
"A refreshment?" the king offered.
"Have you anything I might find familiar, but not too strong?"
"Tea?" offered the queen. But to that, Larien spoke in Altearan. "Oh, our apologies," the queen added. "We didn't consider that."
"We have a Framaran wine," the king offered. "It is pleasant."
"One glass, then we'll see," I said. "I would rather no one ever attempt to get me drunk again."
"That was a one time event," said the queen. "And we apologize for the necessity."
"It wasn't necessary," I said. "You could have approached openly."
"We'll discuss that," she said.
The king puttered for a minute, then he passed out glasses. He and the queen sat, and then Larien on the other end of my sofa. I tried the wine. It wasn't bad. I sipped and then set it down on the table before me.
"Please return me to Marport."
"You know we won't."
I paused. "If my hair remains black, whether I am the daughter of the high priestess or not, you will send me home."
The three spoke rapidly for several minutes. Finally the queen said, "That point requires greater conversation. However, we may be willing to send you home under those circumstances."
"With the truth in a fashion the queen will believe me."
She inclined her head. "We would require assurances there would be no reprisals."
"I cannot negotiate for the queen, but I can almost assure you the people directly involved would be unwelcome inside Framara."
Again she inclined her head. "But you would support negotiations for peace. That is one requirement. There may be others."
"Why can't we come to an agreement now?"
The king looked pointedly at Larien and nodded. She pursed her lips. "Lady Yallameenara, I have something to tell you, but I want a vow of silence."
"You would trust me?"
"I would."
"I will not repeat what you are about to tell me unless I believe it will help me return to Framara under good terms with the queen."
"All right," she said. "I will consider that clause a portion of any other agreements we make. You don't need to continually repeat it." I nodded to that. "We told you your position is inherited."
"And I told you I don't believe you."
"But we know, and you do not. Until you have evidence to prove us wrong, will you accept we might know what we're talking about?"
"Fine. What happens when a line dies out? That must happen."
"I'll come to that. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Are you going to go looking for them, too?"
"Do you?"
"A half brother and half sister. I am my mother's only child, unless she had some I do not know about."
"Have you ever seen hair like mine before, or someone who might look like your sister with hair such as yours?"
"No."
"We knew your mother wasn't dead. We just didn't know where she was. Now that we know you exist, we no longer are assured she lives."
"How can you know this?"
"If a line dies out, then the position of high priestess can jump to another line, possibly an existing priestess or possibly born in a new child, possibly immediately or possibly not for a generation or two. It has happened, but this is rare. As you can imagine, we try to ensure our high priestesses have children."
"But death in childbirth happens."
"Not when the Goddess is the midwife. But death does happen, and the Goddess is not always present."
Those words took me by surprise, the idea of a Goddess acting as midwife. Bu
t then I said, "Mother is too old for more children. I am last in my line." I stared. "You need me for children."
"Not necessarily, but that would certainly be more convenient than finding the line holding the new high priestess, and being without a high priestess any longer than we have been."
"So, you aren't sure I can leave, because?"
"We have not considered whether your position would have jumped lines or perhaps only jumped a generation."
"Has that ever happened?"
"We don't know," she replied. "Not that I know of. That is why we are being careful. Before we will know about your hair, and whether you are our high priestess, we will have time to research that answer. And so we are careful in our agreements."
"I understand now," I said. "So, if my hair does not grow to resemble yours, and you find no past evidence of the high priestess line jumping a generation, we will negotiate my return to Ralalta's loving arms."
"We will," said the queen. "You have our promise."
"And if you find that evidence?"
"Then we will negotiate," said the king. "In good faith. You have our promise."
"Fine. Why couldn't you have approached us openly? I am sure Ralalta would have been understanding. As Larien said to me a short while ago, she is a reasonable woman. We would have wanted to help you."
Again the queen and king communed. It was the king who spoke. "We do not know for certain, but we believe she has guessed. We do not know what, exactly."
"How could she have guessed?"
"Princess Juleena has met your mother," explained Larien.
"Her hair was short like mine."
"Yes, but the princess met her. She knows what your mother looks like. They know you cut your hair short. They know we were trying very hard to lure you here."
"And she was adamant," said the queen. "At first, she offered the possibility, in a few years. But then she removed even that and said you would never travel to Alteara."
"We think she knows more than she told you, Lady Yallameenara," said the king. "We do not know how much."
"If she knew, why would she deny this, and why wouldn't she tell me?"
"We do not know," said the queen. "Maybe she waited for us to declare ourselves, but we deemed that too large a risk. We had to have you, and if we fully declared ourselves, she may have tightened her loving arms so much we couldn't possibly have wrenched you from them."
