by Robin Roseau
"But-" I turned to Naddí and Féla in turn. "Where do your families live?"
"High Priestess," Féla replied. "We are not leaving you. You need us, whether you'll admit it or not."
"There will be a time," Naddí said, echoing Larien's words. "Please say nothing more on this."
I looked between the four of them, Alta remaining silent. Finally I lowered my eyes, but I said, "We could visit."
"Someday," Terél said. "Not today."
"But-"
"Please, Yalla."
I sighed. "You must then each promise me that you will not allow opportunity to pass. I would be heartbroken if we passed only a few hours from any of your homes, and we didn't visit. Or... Will my duties involve traveling throughout Alteara?"
"We don't know what the future will bring," Larien replied.
"Well, when we travel, please make sure I know where we must go, and where we must linger. Promise me."
"We promise," said Larien.
* * * *
"I'm half in love with you already," Alta said.
I laughed. "Why?"
"You're so... complicated. You were so kind to Nía and her daughters. And you worry about your maids and their families. But then you strode into that room yesterday, and you were like the worst of storms."
I laughed again. "I'm just me, a girl of the Arrlotta."
"Not hardly," she said. "But you don't play games. Everyone around me plays games. I can never trust anyone. If someone says something nice to me, I don't know if she's being honest or if she wants something. Do you know how refreshing you are?" She smiled and reached over with her hand to clasp mine for a moment. "Do you know, you're the first woman remotely near my own age I've spent any time with who outranks me? And you don't want anything from me, not one thing."
"That's not true," I said. "I want friendship."
"That's what I mean," she said. "You want me for me. Everyone else wants me because of my influence with my parents, or just for the size of my purse."
She squeezed my hand and then withdrew hers. "This doesn't usually bother me. Don't get me wrong. I love being me. But I can't tell you how much I enjoy this." She waved. "Just this. Thank you."
"I think we're both happy today, Alta," I said. "I like you, too."
* * * *
"Any progress?" I asked as Margaletta and Juleena stepped into the library. Alta had left an hour or so previously, but we had plans for tomorrow, and then tomorrow evening as well, although she extended the invitation to "everyone", so I presumed that meant Juleena and Margaletta as well.
"None," Margaletta said. "They think they can out stubborn me." She sighed. "How was your day?"
"Well, they might not know how to make you happy," I said. "But they're good at bribing me."
"Oh?"
"Four Arrlottan horses," I said. Then I sighed. "Do I have to give them back?"
"No," she said after a moment. "But thank you for asking."
"I feel a little guilty," I said. "They're to stay here, for when we come by ship. But I hate sailing, and future trips will be by horse."
"Don't get too entrenched in that idea," Juleena said. "We saved at least a week this way, and if the weather was worse, as many as three weeks, if we're talking round trip."
"Oh," I said. "Juleena, I don't know if I can do it without... help."
"By that you mean a pile of priestesses and maids in your bed, don't you?"
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine," she said. "A little unexpected, but fine."
"If you don't want to ride," I said. "I'm sorry, but I think that's what we have to do."
"It's fine," she repeated. "But I think I deserve a kiss for being so understanding."
I laughed and moved to her. We kissed, slowly, until Terél and Larien said, "All right. That's enough."
"Damned chaperones," Juleena muttered.
* * * *
Alta had a new surprise for me the next day. We went to some sort of sporting match, a game played upon the frozen waters of a lake. Only half the rules made sense, but I stood and cheered every time a goal was made, regardless of which team made it.
Afterwards, we were invited by both teams onto the ice, and they put rugs in place for us to stand. Two of the players, one for each team, moved to each of us with their magical boots and then held our arms until we were safely upon the ice, one rug each for Alta, Terél, Larien, and me, Naddí and Féla standing on my rug with me. And then, with several of the players acting as a sort of informal guard, they invited everyone else onto the ice to chat with the players.
And, of course, to chat with each of us.
I met the coaches and the referees, and while I didn't meet all the players, I met many of them. I congratulated everyone on a well-played game and expressed amazement at how fast they had flown across the ice.
And I met many of the people, those who had come to watch, surprised at the extra opportunity. From time to time, I also saw Alta, Terél, and Larien speaking with someone or another, so I knew this was about more than just me. That made it easier.
I asked people to help me with their names, and it eventually went around I would have trouble with the long forms; they began offering their short names from the beginning. I asked where they were from, and they eventually began to offer a description that included more than the name of a town or village. "It's along the coast south of Hergenseé," or "It's farmland not far from Framara." One woman told me she was from the most northern point of Alteara and said, "This is a warm, spring day for me."
I asked how they were doing. I asked how their families were, how their farms were, how their businesses were. And I discovered life had changed little for the farmers and the fishermen. I met a smith and her eldest son, and the woman was full of pride in her son to follow in her footsteps.
But those whose families were from the larger towns told a different story. And from them I learned about shortages, so when I met the next farmer, I asked about that.
He shrugged, but his wife said, "Life is hard," she said. "We make do. Do you know what I miss the most?"
"No."
"It's foolish, but I prefer tea from Framara," she said.
"Ah. So do I," I said. I clasped her hands for a moment.
"And some fruits," someone else volunteered. "Especially earlier in the season."
From around me, people offered what they missed the most, these last two and a half years. And most of it was small things, but then someone said, "My dog died."
"Your dog died?" I repeated. "I'm sorry."
"She was old," the man said. "But she used to get medicine. We can't make it here, so I couldn't get more."
He looked so sad. I'd never had a dog I felt like that about, but I could see the loss of his dog really affected him. And so I offered a hug. He held me for a long time, and then he quietly thanked me before disappearing into the crowd.
I didn't get to ask him his dog's name, or even his own.
* * * *
Alta disappeared over dinner. "I hate to ask you, but could you wear a gown tonight? Mother has forbidden me from using her box at the theater unless I wear a gown."
I laughed and agreed, and then I let Naddí and Féla see to me before Juleena and Margaletta returned. It was Larien who told me they had returned; I was still dressing. So I asked her if she would invite them to visit with me briefly.
I think Juleena was pleased to see Naddí and Féla dressing me, although I could tell from their expressions, even without asking, little progress had been made. Still, I had to ask.
"None," Margaletta declared.
"Juleena, answer honestly. Is that because Margaletta is being a..."
"Bitch?" Margaletta offered.
"It's not," Juleena said. "Except-"
"Except, what?"
"They're trying to lump things together that should be separate," Margaletta said. "They'll do this if we'll do that."
"Isn't that the nature of diplomacy?"
"Ah,
but I am not a diplomat," she said. "We had this discussion. The only thing they're getting from me is access to the people who are. They want more from me than that, and they won't get it."
"Do they know that?"
"Yes," Juleena said. "Margaletta isn't subtle."
"You'll notice I didn't chase any of the Altearan citizens from this room before having these very frank discussions with you, Yallameenara," Margaletta added. "Maybe they repeat what I say; maybe they don't."
"We don't," Naddí said.
"But if they do," Margaletta continued, "I don't particularly care. I've repeatedly told them how much authority Queen Ralalta has given me, but they're not listening."
"They can be dogmatic," I said. "I bet they're trying to work with Juleena instead."
"She's one of the diplomats for which I'm the gatekeeper," Margaletta said.
"Mother told me I am not allowed to promise a thing until Margaletta steps aside."
"Have you told them that?"
"Repeatedly."
I shook my head. "Well, I hope you both are joining us tonight. Please tell me you're not too tired."
"Do I have to wear a gown?" Juleena asked.
"Not at all," I replied. "But Alta and I will be, and you're going to look awfully silly sitting with the rest of the audience instead of in the queen's box with us."
Naddí snickered. "Even I have a gown," she said.
An hour later, Alta arrived. She looked absolutely divine. I let her take my arm, everyone else following.
In gowns.
* * * *
"Lady Margaletta," I said. "Have they agreed to my terms?"
"No. Would you like to present them again?"
"I think I would."
Those words were exchanged over breakfast. I had warned Alta I might attend the meetings today, so we had arranged that she would come to the house only if I didn't come to the meetings. And so our eyes met when I stepped into the room. She was standing in back, directly behind the queen, and I wondered why she stood there while her brother sat beside the king.
I didn't ask, although I would learn before we left the capital.
The king and queen climbed to their feet as we entered, and then they curtsied and bowed to me besides, the prince late in his. I'd already told them once how I felt about that, perhaps more than once, so I simply pursed my lips then moved to our side of the table. I waited for Margaletta to move to her seat, the princess past her, and then I took a spot.
We'd discussed this, and I sat first, before anyone else could.
The rest sat together, and no one commented on what I had done. Ridiculous, I know.
"Lady Yallameenara," said the queen. "We did not know you would join us today."
"I don't care to stay long," I said. "I understand these meetings have been less than fruitful."
Looks were exchanged, and then the king said, "We seem to have certain difficulties."
"Let me tell you one difficulty that ends today," I said. "Yesterday I met a number of Altearans. They all struck me as good, hardworking people doing their best to make ends meet."
"You did this at the theater?"
"No. We attended some event played upon a frozen lake," I said.
The prince turned around and glared at his sister, who pretended not to notice. But I noticed, and I wasn't happy about it.
"I am confused," I said. "You want me to be your high priestess. I am given to believe a percentage of my duties involve spending time with the people of Alteara. And so when I asked Princess Lásenalta to arrange this, she did. But I gather not everyone is happy for her to have done so. Why is that?"
The prince turned to me and gave me a hard look. But he didn't answer my question.
I shook my head slightly. "Prince Pro-"
"Prodótar," Margaletta offered.
"Thank you," I said. "I do not mean disrespect. I have trouble with Altearan names. Prince Prodótar? Is that right, within the realms of my accent?"
"Close enough," he muttered.
"Well then. You seem to be unhappy to see me. You seem to be unhappy I am performing what I see as my duties. Perhaps you have a different view of my duties and would care to share those views with me."
"It's not my place to define your duties, High Priestess."
"All right," I said. "And you even used my title with a degree of respect, but perhaps I do not recognize sarcasm in this language."
"He wasn't being sarcastic," said his mother. "You are certainly the High Priestess. That is in no doubt at all."
"Prodótar, do you agree with the queen?"
"Of course I do," he said. "But you ruined everything." He leaned closer. "Our economy is in shambles because of you. People have died because of you. And now you want to undermine my parents."
I leaned back, shocked by his words. And about a second or so later, I felt Larien and Terél move up behind me, crouching down and half hugging me, offering me their comfort. I didn't think he's spoken loudly enough to be heard, but they had come anyway.
"What did he say?" Terél asked in the language of the Goddess.
I turned to her and caressed a cheek, closing my eyes and leaning my forehead against hers for a minute. Then I patted her cheek and told them both, "I'm fine. I may need you later."
They both nodded, but I got a brief cheek kiss from both before they backed away from me.
I turned back to the opposite side of the room. I couldn't read the expressions of the king and queen, and so I couldn't tell if they agreed with their son or not. But they neither defended his words, nor rejected them. So I leaned forward.
"You blame me. Why? Because I didn't appreciate being drugged and kidnapped? Because I didn't believe a nearly impossible story."
"We were right!"
"You were right about the impossible story, but do you think after drugging and kidnapping me I was ready to be receptive to it? Seriously? Maybe you'd like to experience it to see what it's like."
He didn't respond to that.
"Is that what friends do to each other?" I continued. "When you don't get your way, is that what you do? Betray the people closest to you? If so, I grieve for the future of Alteara, because you're going to make one hell of a lousy king."
There was a hiss of indrawn breath throughout the room, but not one person yelled at me. That surprised me. And the prince had the grace to look chagrined. "That's not what I meant," he said.
"Then what did you mean?"
He looked back up and stared me in the eye. "Why couldn't Queen Ralalta have just let you come?"
"Why couldn't you be honest with us?" I asked. "You kidnapped a member of the royal household. You didn't even give us a chance to be friends. It's time to publicly admit what you did that was wrong so that everyone can move past it. Until you do, this is going to fester."
I stared into his eyes while I decided if I was going to demand an apology for the things he had said a few minutes ago. I finally decided it wasn't worth it. I turned my attention to the king and queen.
"We are running out of time. I will not have it believed I committed treason. Are you going to tell the truth, or am I? Or are you going to have me silenced to stop me?"
"Of course we aren't," the king said quickly. "We would prefer to make such an announcement."
"Do I need to state a deadline? I consider this part of having told Queen Ralalta, and so it should have been done a year and a half ago. The only thing to discuss is the wording for approval by Lady Margaletta."
"We have a condition," said the queen.
"No."
"It was Princess Lásenalta's idea," the king said. "An attempt to break a stalemate."
I looked past them to Alta, considering. Then I turned to Margaletta. "I promised I wouldn't interfere."
"On this, I don't mind," she said.
I looked past her to Juleena, who was watching me carefully. "All right," I said finally, turning to face forward. "But as it is the princess who put forward the idea, I believe I w
ould like to hear her version, unless that is not the final version you wish me to hear."
"We have additional details," said the queen. She held out her hand behind her, and the princess stepped forward. I gestured to the seat beside the queen, and then she and I looked into each other's eyes.
"Father has a written proclamation he will post," the princess said. "It will not be read aloud."
"Do you have a copy?"
An attendant scurried forward and gave a formal-looking piece of parchment to the king. He glanced at it then turned it around and slid it to me.
I looked down and read it. The language was couched carefully, and one might have to read between the lines to detect the treachery that was involved, but it clearly stated that at no time had I violated the will of Queen Ralalta, and it stated even more clearly that I was a woman of the utmost integrity, honor, and loyalty.
I read it through three times. "Have you two seen this?" I asked in Framaran.
"Yes," Margaletta said. "We're satisfied."
"Then what is the problem?"
"They have a condition."
"I see." I looked across to the king. "Will I be satisfied at how widely this is distributed?"
"Yes," he said. "We actually have three conditions."
"We didn't hear of three," Margaletta said.
I sighed. "Let's hear them."
"First, Lady Yallameenara, if you are asked about this, we require you to only say that you wish healing from past events, said however you like."
"In other words, this is the only version you wish discussed."
"Yes."
"Margaletta?"
"I don't have a problem with that."
"Next?"
"We wish you to personally accept a private apology," said the queen. "We believe healing must begin first with you."
"A private apology." I turned to Margaletta.
"That apology covers the insult to you. It does not cover the insult to the queen or country. It is, as she said, private."
"And so it is my choice."
"Yes."
"These are the two conditions you hadn't heard?"
"Yes."
"Ah, so it is the third you don't like. What is it?" I asked, turning back to face the princess. "It was your idea, I believe?"
"Actually so were the first two," she said. She paused a moment, looked down at the parchment, still on the table before me, then looked up into my eyes. "We want you to appear in open court, this afternoon, dressed in your vestments. And we want you to state clearly you will accept your responsibilities with no reservations. We wish you to say this in the language of the Goddess, in Altearan, and in Framaran."
