by Robin Roseau
"No," Larien said. "We only felt her through our link."
And so I nodded and brushed cheeks with each of them before they slipped away. Then I stood still for a minute, collecting myself.
Finally I looked up and switched to Altearan. "I'm sorry, and thank you for your patience." I turned to the dais. "The Goddess heard me."
The queen smiled broadly, and the princess as well. She nodded to me.
I turned back. "The Goddess heard me, and thanked me," I said more loudly. "I will tell you what my words meant, as best I can."
And then I repeated when I had said, speaking Altearan, and then once more, in Framaran. And then I stood still, my head bowed a moment, still filled with the love and joy from the Goddess.
Then I looked up again and out across the audience. They were amazingly quiet. "That is all I wanted to say," I said. I turned back to the dais. "Lady Margaletta said you had a statement, and that I should remain to hear it."
"Would you ascend?" the queen said. "Take my seat."
I climbed the dais, and when I arrived before her, she took my arm and led me to her throne. I felt a little uncomfortable about it, but when she set me into it, I didn't fight her. Then the king sat, followed by the prince, and finally, beside me, the princess. She reached over and clasped my hand for a moment.
The queen had her own way of pacing when she spoke, although she used less distance than I did and remained on the dais. "Lady Yallameenara," she began. "Most of your titles came with you, and you carry them regardless of whatever we may say. But there is one you have accepted that is rightfully of Alteara and not your previous homes. You are the High Priestess to the Goddess Yahamala, and that is a title of Alteara."
"Yes," I agreed. "Although I believe she may wish her influence to spread further south."
"She might," agreed the queen. "But at this time, her home is in Alteara. Of this we are agreed, are we not?"
"We are."
"We find your list of titles is lacking," she said. "We wish to amend the lack."
"I believe my list of titles is far too long already, and my attention split further than I like."
"We do not seek to bury you in further burden," she said. "Perhaps you will listen, and then if you are unsure, you will consult with the Goddess." At that, I inclined my head.
"Very good," said the queen. "You have previously been known as Yallameenara of the Arrlotta," she said. "And then Lady Yallameenara of Garneer and Framara."
"Quite so," I agreed.
"We wish for you to be known as the High Priestess to the Goddess Yahamala, Lady Yallameenara of Garneer, Fremara, and Alteara."
Ralalta had already called me that, but she didn't add the next part.
"Triple citizenship," the queen added.
"Oh," I said. "Oh."
I searched the room, but I couldn't find Margaletta. I wasn't sure if she knew of this.
"I'm not done," said the queen. "There is one more. Duchess of Indorítanda."
I stared at the queen. And stared. And stared. And then, in a very low voice, the princess said to me, "Wait. Don't tell me. Ridiculous."
I turned to her. "You knew?"
"Also my idea," she said. "Well, the important parts. Your Lady Margaletta demanded lands for you. Quote. Framara is not funding your expenses while you travel about Alteara. She didn't ask for enough, but we can't give these lands and a title to someone who isn't a citizen. I really don't know why they didn't see the obvious solution."
"You recommended citizenship."
"Well, and the specific lands, but that's harder to explain without a map."
And so I nodded.
"Well, Lady Yallameenara, what say you?"
"Your Majesty," I said. "I am not quite sure what to say."
"Why, that is obvious," she said with a grin. "You must only agree to accept your full list of titles."
"Oh, so simple," I said. "And with deep implications. I am already overburdened with responsibilities and cannot possibly take on the added responsibilities of a third citizenship."
"Ah," said the king. "For you, we are completely satisfied that you will accept the duties and responsibilities of our High Priestess, as you have already promised."
I searched the room, and finally I found Margaletta. She was watching me, and when our eyes locked, she nodded, just once. And so I nodded back, letting her know I had her message.
And then in my ear, the Goddess spoke. "This is your choice, but you have my blessing."
"But do I have your guidance," I asked in her language.
She laughed. "You do not need my guidance on this issue." And then before I could ask her what she meant by that, she was gone again.
"She talks to you?" Alta asked from beside me.
"Yes," I said, turning to her. "Now she is gone again." But I looked for Margaletta and wondered where Juleena was, lost in the crowd. I looked at Margaletta and offered a small shrug. She simply nodded once more.
"Your Majesty," I said. "I would be pleased to tentatively accept your gracious offer, but my first loyalty remains to Queen Ralalta and the Goddess, and if Ralalta wishes, I must withdraw my acceptance."
"Carefully said," stated the queen after a brief pause. I don't think she was pleased by it.
"It's the answer I'd want Alta to make if she was currently in Marport," said the prince, surprising me. "Well, except it's not an offer that she should accept at all. But Lady Yallameenara is a unique case. Oh hell. Mother, it was a good answer."
"Yes, Prince Prodótar," she said. "I believe it was. And we are pleased," she said. She stepped forward, pulled me to my feet, and hugged me tightly, the room breaking out in applause. And then the king pulled me to him, and then the prince surprised me with a hug, and finally one from the princess.
And then the king took one hand, and the queen another, and they pulled me to the front of the dais.
And then the king intoned my full list of titles, the Altearan listed first, but he included every single one. It took far, far longer than it should have.
Ridiculous. It was all quite ridiculous.
Royal Family
It was hours later before I finally was able to speak to Juleena and Margaletta. Juleena looked upset, but I pulled her into a hug, and we kissed briefly. "You're mad," I said. "I looked for you. I didn't know what to do."
"It's fine," she said.
"Did I make a mistake?"
"No," said Margaletta.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"They wanted to see your reaction," she replied.
"You said their offer was better."
"I asked for land and explained why. They fought me on it, and it took time before any of us understood why."
"Citizenship."
"In Balstead, you must be a citizen of Balstead to own land."
"You own this house, or so you explained."
"Yes, and the land it sits on," she said. "You realize a house is not necessarily the land it sits on. In Drindari, I can own a house, but not the land underneath it. I can only lease the land, although the terms of the lease can be lengthy."
"And when the lease ends?"
She smiled. "You better hope you wrote a good lease, or you can imagine the cost of renewing the lease, now that you put a house on it."
"I understand," I said. "But what has that to do with Alteara?"
"Well, I knew I could own this house, and the land under it. And I knew the laws in both Drindari and Balstead. What I didn't know was the limit on the amount of land a foreigner can own."
"Oh."
"One acre," she said. "It's not carefully enforced, but the amount I asked for you wasn't something that could be ignored."
"Oh," I said again. "But I don't need this land. Your excuse was thin. I haven't hardly spent a crown here, and the money I did spend was because I wanted to."
"They told you that hogwash about your expenses?"
"The princess did."
"Yeah. That was a pretty excuse so they didn't have to ad
mit the real reason, but everyone knows it. Reparations, Yallameenara. Maybe you didn't need them, but the queen demanded them on your behalf. We now believe the insult to you has been addressed."
"Not entirely," I said. "They still owe me that private apology."
She laughed. "And, I suppose, to follow through on the proclamation. But then we considered it addressed. Will you?"
"The prince, this morning. The things he said."
"I was ready to kill him," Juleena muttered. "How dare he make such accusations?"
"Yeah, well, I got away with saying he's going to make a lousy king. Do you think he's going to apologize?"
"I think what he said in court was the closest you're going to get," Margaletta replied. "Do you need more?"
"I don't know. It seems like we're a few steps forward, but then we step sideways and get mired in a new mess. He accused me of murder."
"Do you remember last summer, when I mentioned I was worried about a hothead?" Juleena asked.
"You were thinking specifically of him."
"I was so relieved when we learned it was the king and queen instead." She shook her head. "The princess would be a better choice."
"Discounting the entire kidnapping me thing, the king seems like a good man."
"He is," said Juleena. She shook her head. "The mistakes on this. They're coming out of nowhere."
I paused. "You know. They're accustomed to the Goddess and her guidance. The prince has never had it, and the king and queen have been lacking it for over twenty years."
They both considered me carefully, and then Margaletta said carefully, "You may be onto something, Yallameenara, and perhaps more than you realize."
"Oh?"
"Their desperation may not have been about your guidance for the current rulers, but to train the prince to accept you."
"He's not a bad person," Juleena said, also speaking carefully. "This isn't the first time we've met, and the only problem I've ever had with him is that he sometimes acts -- or speaks -- before he thinks things through."
"You called him a hothead."
"Well, isn't that the definition of a hothead?" Margaletta said, "If you add in a high stress situation that appears to need a rapid solution? In my experience, those sorts of situations are always the ones that should give you pause. Your first action should be to buy the time you require to think."
"Is that what I should have done today?" I asked. "The Goddess told me it was my choice."
"She was there?"
"Whispering only," I said.
"Well, in a way, that's exactly what you did," Margaletta said. "You gave yourself an exit if you needed one."
"All right," I said. "Now I want to know why Juleena is upset."
Juleena turned away from me, then moved to the liquor cart and took the time to pour a small glass of something. It wasn't normally her way to drink before dinner, and so I knew she was buying time before responding. Finally she said, "I'd like everyone to leave. Well, not you, Yalla."
"We're not leaving you without a chaperone, Princess," Larien said.
Juleena whirled towards her. "Do you think I am about to do something nefarious?"
It took a moment, but slowly the room emptied and the door closed. I closed the distance to Juleena. She pulled me into her arms. I thought she was about to kiss me, but instead she held me tightly, and we simply hugged.
We hadn't been doing enough of that lately.
"What's wrong?" I asked her after a minute. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No," she replied. "I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
I wasn't sure she was going to answer, as she paused a long time, her only real response a tightening of her arms. "I don't want to share you," she said. "I won't always be able to make these trips with you. Mother needs me, and I have countless duties. But then we'll be apart for a month at a time, or even longer, and I don't like it."
"Oh," I said simply. "Juleena."
"I should have brought your mother when I brought you," she said. "If I'd known more, I would have."
"I don't know if they would have parted with her."
"I can be very convincing," Juleena said. "I don't understand why she didn't ask me to rescue her. If she'd said anything to me, anything at all, she had to know I'd have brought her with us. But she didn't. She translated, and that was all."
"Maybe..."
"What?"
"Maybe she knew I had to go, and she didn't want you to take only her."
"I wouldn't take a mother and leave her daughter. She could have explained. Two sentences. Three sentences. Your half sister and brother were old enough by then, right?"
"Yes," I said. "My sister or I would have been traded for a wife for my brother within the next year or two."
"That's barbaric."
"That's The Hippa," I replied.
"If your mother were here, they would have their High Priestess, and I wouldn't have to share you."
"They would need me eventually."
"Our daughters..."
"Of course. We could trade them so I didn't need to do this duty. It's a little barbaric, but that's Framara and Alteara."
She pushed me away and glared, then softened. "All right. I deserved that."
I stepped closer to her and lifted my chin. She drew me tighter, and then we kissed.
Kissing Juleena... Oh, I surely did enjoy kissing Juleena. It was so different from anyone else I had kissed. She was tall, and strong. And hungry but reserved at the same time, but underneath it felt like she was holding back to avoid rushing and overwhelming me.
I longed for the day she could fully let go.
"I love you, you know," I whispered when finally the kiss ended.
She crushed me to her, and I clutched at her in response. "I love you, too, Yalla," she said.
"When did you decide you wanted me for yourself?"
"I think I started thinking about it from the beginning," she said. "But you were still so young."
"Compared to you, I'm still young."
"You're fully a woman and have been for a long time. Do you know how perfect you are?"
"You're the one who is perfect, Juleena. I'm... a mismatch."
"You defy expectations," she countered. "You’re a little of this and a little of that, and I'm in love with all of it."
"How long is your mother going to make you court me?"
"She refuses to answer me," she said. "I think she's waiting for something, but I have no idea what it is."
"Maybe she wants to see how all of this is going to work out." I pushed away and looked into her eyes. "When we reach the Heart of the Goddess, I think we should ask her for guidance. She's very wise."
"You say that only because she solved our problems the last time we were there, but she created new ones."
"Maybe you're right," I said. "But if I ask you to speak with her, will you?"
"For you," she said. She kissed the tip of my nose. "Are you seeing Alta tonight?"
"I'm yours tonight," I said. "But she asked me to keep the rest of my evenings here free. I think the king and queen want to commandeer me for some of them. I don't know what to do about that."
"The gatekeeper has stepped aside."
"But I want to spend time with you."
"I know, but I think now we should operate in good faith."
"They haven't really apologized yet."
"Well, maybe that's their plan." She smiled. "I want you. Do you know how beautiful you were today?"
"It was the vestments," I said. "I'm not beautiful."
She frowned. When she spoke, her tone was serious. "All right, Yalla. Are you a Framaran citizen?"
"What? Of course?"
"And as a Framaran citizen, do you obey your queen?"
"Yes. Always."
"And as a Framaran citizen, do you obey your princess?"
I laughed. "Yes. Maybe not always though."
"As your princess, whom you love, cherish, and obey, you will stop
being disparaging about yourself. I think you're beautiful, and I'm not the only one. It's not the same sort of beauty others might have. But you are the only you." Then she reached up and fingered my hair. "I like your hair long, even if it shows the touch of the Goddess." Then she ran her fingers through it. "And I love doing this."
She played with my hair for a minute or two, trying different things with it, finally combing it back out until it lay straight again. "Will you wear a dress for me? And heels?"
"Tonight?"
She nodded. "And let me tell Naddí what I want her to do with your hair? For me?"
"Of course, Darling," I said. I stretched upwards and kissed her quickly.
* * * *
We went to dinner, just Juleena and me. And at a second table, my chaperones. And here and there, our honor guard.
Ridiculous.
But Juleena looked at me with such desire, and I thought I offered her the same looks. We held hands the entire time, talking quietly.
We shared a dessert. I tried to demur, but Juleena insisted. And then she battled me with her fork, winning the prized piece but then offering it to me instead. It was silly, but I thought it was sweet at the same time.
"I'm proud of you, you know," she said.
"I haven't done anything," I said. "I'm just being pushed around by events."
She laughed.
"I'm serious! Don't laugh at me."
"Yalla, you have the rulers of two countries listening to your every word, which you offer in any of four different languages. You are being courted by the crown princess of one of those countries and seem to be making a solid friendship with a princess of the other. You are the voice of a Goddess and have built a temple to her. You are a duchess twice over."
"It's all ridiculous. I didn't do any of that. That's all about other people. I haven't done a thing."
"You learned three very different languages. You have made dear, close friends with everyone you meet. You solved two significant diplomatic problems for Mother."
"I created one of them."
"That man was an ass, and if he wasn't an ass about you, he was going to be an ass about something else. You only gave him an opportunity to identify himself."
I closed my mouth, not having an answer for that.
"Furthermore, entirely of your own doing, you have assembled a sizeable sum of money."
