Aunt Bitsy grunted as she knelt down beside the open cupboard. “Well, I have to keep them humble or they get too confident. I don’t like a boy who’s too sure of himself. That’s Luke Bontrager’s problem.” She unscrewed the washer that Josiah had loosened and then the washer on the other end of the elbow-shaped pipe. The elbow piece fell into Aunt Bitsy’s bucket. Aunt Bitsy got up and ran some tap water through the elbow-shaped pipe. Water splashed from the pipe into the bucket below. She took her yellow-gloved fingers, pulled a plastic fork covered with black scum out of the elbow pipe, and held it up for Rose to see. “We should watch Dan Kanagy very closely when he’s in the kitchen. All sorts of things fly when that boy does dishes.”
She let water run down the sink into the bucket, then reattached the elbow pipe by tightening the washers. “Good as new,” she said, “and Josiah never needs to know. We wouldn’t want him to think he got a soaking for nothing.” Aunt Bitsy snapped off her gloves and washed her hands at the now-unclogged sink. “Now, baby sister,” she said, wiping her hands. “We need to have a talk.”
Rose’s heart sank. Aunt Bitsy only called her “baby sister” when it was serious. “About what?”
Aunt Bitsy motioned for Rose to sit at the table, and she pulled a chair out next to her. That close, Rose got a good look at the spider tattoo on her neck. Aunt Bitsy loved trying out temporary tattoos. The spider had a pink bow on its head and was smiling and waving. The tattoo was friendlier than Aunt Bitsy.
“When you came in here,” Aunt Bitsy said, “you looked like you’d seen a ghost. Or a zombie. But since you don’t know what a zombie is, it was either you saw a ghost or Josiah did something to upset you. And if he upset you, I’m not afraid to give him a good look at my shotgun the next time he comes over.”
Of course Josiah had upset her. But he didn’t deserve the shotgun. “He wants something from me.”
Aunt Bitsy narrowed her eyes. “What does he want?”
Rose’s sigh went all the way down to her toes. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, I’ll be a disappointment like I always am.”
Aunt Bitsy pinched Rose’s earlobe between her finger and thumb. “Baby sister, you have never, not for one day, been a disappointment.”
“I was in the honey house, and a strange boy passed by my window. I thought it was the one who had tried to burn it down. I couldn’t even move I was so scared. Josiah chased after him and brought him back to the honey house. He was just cutting through our fields on the way home. I embarrassed myself because I was so frightened. Then I didn’t dare walk back to the house by myself. I practically begged Josiah to come with me.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Aunt Bitsy said. “It was a frightening thing.”
“Are you frightened about the troublemaker, Aunt Bitsy?”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head. “I’m annoyed.”
A tear escaped from Rose’s eye. “Everything frightens me. I can’t even go to a gathering without one of my sisters. You all have to bend over backward because I’m too afraid to do anything.”
Aunt Bitsy frowned. “You’ve been through some hard stuff, baby sister. No one can fault you for being cautious.”
An ache grew in her heart. “All that hard stuff was my own doing, and there’s nothing to keep it from happening again.”
“Not your parents’ death, Rosie. That wasn’t your fault.”
The ache in her chest spread to her arms and hands. She didn’t remember much about her parents, but she remembered whose fault it was they had died. But not even Aunt Bitsy would know that. Especially not Aunt Bitsy. She’d never forgive Rose if she knew.
Aunt Bitsy’s frown carved itself into her face. “Do you still blame yourself that La Wayne Zook went to prison?”
“I separated him from his family.”
“Believe me, baby sister, that was a gute thing.”
Rose’s sisters, Lily and Poppy, practically tripped into the house, giggling like two schoolgirls. Of course they were giddy. They were both head-over-heels in love. Lily had been engaged for a month. Poppy had gotten engaged just last week.
Aunt Bitsy raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to Rose. “This is what comes of giving boys food. Giggles and more giggles.”
“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” Poppy said as she waltzed into the house and set her basket on the island.
“It is if you want to feel cooked like a Thanksgiving turkey,” Aunt Bitsy said, standing and giving Lily and Poppy each a hug. “How were deliveries?”
Lily plopped herself in Aunt Bitsy’s chair at the table. “The Yutzys want more tomatoes, and they said they’d take all our zucchini.”
Aunt Bitsy nudged Lily with her hip. Lily grinned, and Aunt Bitsy made a show of being quite put out that Lily had stolen her chair. She sat down on the other side of Rose. “We’ve got so much zucchini, I’m thinking of changing the name of our farm to Zucchini Flats. We should pay the Yutzys for taking it off our hands.”
Poppy brought four glasses to the table with her good hand and went back to the fridge for the milk. “I love zucchini. And it makes delicious bread.”
“Only if you’re a rabbit,” Aunt Bitsy said.
“Luke loves Poppy’s zucchini bread,” Lily said.
Aunt Bitsy grunted. “That boy is so crazy for Poppy, he’d eat sawdust if she fried it up.”
Poppy beamed like a heavy-duty flashlight. “He’s so adorable, I’m going to burst.”
Aunt Bitsy scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “If you’re going to burst, do it outside. I’ve already had to clean up one mess today.” She pointed her finger at Lily. “And Dan’s not much better. He can’t come over without bringing a gift. We’ll have to build another house to make room for all his stuff.”
“He’s trying to butter you up,” Lily said, pouring milk for the four of them.
Aunt Bitsy looked as if she’d sucked on a lemon. “Like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
“We saw Suvie Nelson in town,” Poppy said.
Rose’s heart skipped a beat. Suvie was Josiah’s sister.
“She needs a quart of honey. I told her we could deliver it tomorrow.” Poppy glanced at Rose before setting a plate of cookies on the table and sitting next to Lily. Rose didn’t feel like eating. She felt guilty for not giving Josiah a cookie when she’d had the chance.
Ach, du lieva. She was as selfish as she was weak.
“You’re very quiet, Rosie,” Poppy said, handing her a cookie. “Is everything okay?” She frowned. “Have you been crying?”
“She had a little fright today,” Aunt Bitsy said. “Josiah Yoder came over.”
Rose could practically see Lily’s and Poppy’s ears perk up. Rose wanted to slide out of her chair and sink into the floorboards. She’d behaved like a child yet again, and her sisters would feel even more of an obligation to baby her.
“Josiah was here?” Lily smiled like it was Dan who had come instead of Josiah.
“And he scared you?” Poppy said, probably plotting revenge in her head. Poppy was always ready to defend her sisters.
Rose fidgeted with one of her kapp strings. “Nae. I mean, jah.”
Lily’s brows inched together. “You know Josiah would never hurt you, don’t you, Rose?”
Of course she knew. Josiah was one of the gentlest people Rose knew. “It wasn’t really his fault. He wants something from me, and that makes me nervous. I wish he wouldn’t come over.”
“Me too,” Aunt Bitsy said. “He caused a flood.”
“Maybe he wants to be your friend,” Lily said.
“Like as not, he wants to make me his project.” Rose sighed and propped her chin in her hand. “Everybody feels sorry for me. Josiah is nice, so he wants to protect me.”
Poppy smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I don’t want to be anybody’s project.” She felt like she had a twenty-pound weight strapped around her neck. “I wish I were different. I wish I weren’t afraid.”
Lily t
ook a sip of milk. “It’s okay that you’re timid. It’s one of the things we love about you. You’re our Rosie. We wouldn’t have you any other way. We don’t mind watching out for you.”
“But wouldn’t you rather not have to? Poppy broke her hand because I couldn’t watch out for myself.”
Fire leaped into Poppy’s eyes. “That wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t have been able to punch Griff Simons hard enough to get him to let go. And you’re too tenderhearted to have wanted to hurt him in the first place. I was happy to smack him in the mouth for you.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Aunt Bitsy said. “You go to gatherings with your sisters. You ride the bus every week to the animal shelter.”
“Dorothy and Joann go with me. I’m not afraid of them. It’s the boys that make me nervous.”
“You’re fine around Dan and Luke, and Luke might be the most cantankerous person you’ll ever meet,” Aunt Bitsy said.
Poppy’s mouth fell open before she surrendered to a smile. “I know. That’s why I love him so much.”
Poppy’s enthusiasm for Luke coaxed a smile from Rose. “I was never afraid of Dan or Luke. I knew they loved my sisters. That was a good enough reason to love them back.”
Aunt Bitsy finished off her cookie. “If you want to overcome your fears, then you have to start doing things that scare you.”
“Like what?”
“Like talking to boys at gatherings,” Lily said. “Or baking a cake for Josiah.”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head vigorously. “Do not bake a cake for Josiah. He’ll take it the wrong way and never leave us alone. I am partial to a dry kitchen.”
Poppy broke her cookie in half and dunked it into the milk. “You can talk to Dan and Luke because you know they’re in love with your sisters. Can you pretend that all boys are in love with me and Lily?”
“All the boys are in love with you and Lily,” Rose said.
Lily giggled. “Then it will be easy.”
“It should be easy,” Rose said, “but it still terrifies me.”
“Then start small,” Poppy said. “What would scare you only a little?”
Rose slumped her shoulders. “Going outside by myself.”
“You do that all the time,” Lily said. “See? You’re making progress and you didn’t even know it.”
“Josiah invited me to Suvie’s house to see her butterfly garden.”
Lily’s eyes sparkled merrily. “That’s a good start. Suvie would love it if you went over.”
“But I don’t want him to feel obligated to be nice to me just to prove what a gute Christian he is.”
“Let him feel obligated,” Poppy said, waving her hand in Rose’s direction. “You’ll be doing him a favor. Boys like to feel needed, even if we don’t need them.”
Josiah was an orphan and Rose felt sorry for him, but couldn’t someone with more courage help him feel needed? “I could make him a cake,” she said. “If one of you would deliver it.”
Lily scrunched her lips together and raised an eyebrow. “You’re not seeing the big picture here, Rose. You’ve got to take Josiah the cake yourself.”
Aunt Bitsy crinkled her nose as if there were a bad smell in the kitchen. It was probably the lingering scum from her sink. “Josiah Yoder? Surely we can do better than that. What about starting with someone less frightening, like Freeman Beiler?”
Rose giggled. “He’s a thirty-nine-year-old bachelor, Aunt Bitsy. He’d get the wrong idea. Besides, Freeman is more interested in you.”
Aunt Bitsy rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. “Deliver us from evil and eager bachelors, Lord.” She propped her elbow on the table. “You shouldn’t make Josiah a cake if you don’t want him coming over. I suggest asparagus casserole.”
“B, Rose wants to show him she’s brave, not poison him,” Poppy said.
Aunt Bitsy raised her eyebrows. “A hearty stomach flu would keep him away for weeks.”
Rose liked the asparagus casserole idea, except for the part about the stomach flu. Whenever Josiah Yoder was near, a whole flock of butterflies came to life inside her stomach. She dreaded every minute of it. Asparagus casserole would scare him away right quick.
But she wouldn’t make Josiah a casserole or a cake.
She was perfectly content with her quiet life on the farm with nothing but paints and cats for company. Being lonely was better than being afraid.
Neither Josiah nor any other boy was worth the anxiety.
Chapter Four
Josiah stared helplessly at the display of paint tubes. He knew absolutely nothing about oil paints. He also knew nothing about acrylic or watercolors or tempura paint. Basically, his paint knowledge was abysmal. He’d be better off getting Rose a new paintbrush.
He shifted over to his right and tried to make sense of the paintbrush selection. Wood handles, plastic handles, rounded tips, sponge brushes. The options made his head spin. Chances were he’d pick the wrong brush, and Rose would hate him forever. The way things were going, she probably hated him already.
He shook his head. He’d better not let his thoughts stray in that direction or he’d sink into the depths of despair. Besides, Rose was too kindhearted to hate anybody. Griff Simons had tried to kiss her, and Dan said she had already forgiven him.
Josiah clenched his teeth. She was a better person than he was. He tried to be forgiving in his heart, but it was hard to want mercy for anyone who hurt Rose.
He shifted back to his left and studied the paints again. He’d carried Rose’s bin of paints into her house. The paints in little tubes were the ones she used. He’d buy her one of those.
How in the world would he pick a color?
“You look like a deer in the headlights,” Luke Bontrager said, coming up beside him and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Is it because of that nice bump on your forehead?”
“It’s got to be perfect,” Josiah said, unwilling to let Luke discourage him. Luke had courted Poppy like a bulldozer. Josiah was going for the more subtle approach with Rose.
Lord willing, “subtle” was the right way to go about it. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest just thinking about her. He loved Rose to the moon and back and as deep as the water in Lake Michigan. He wouldn’t give up until she told him to go away, and even then he might hold on to his love until the day he died.
Rose was timid, but yesterday, when she had seen a stranger at the window, she had been more concerned for Josiah’s safety than her own. She even cared about the cats over herself. Josiah couldn’t see loving anyone else.
He pulled one of the paint tubes from the display. It was a pretty petal pink like the dress Rose had worn yesterday, the most beautiful dress Josiah had ever seen. “Do you think she’ll like this color?”
Luke smirked. “Pink says, ‘I love you,’ for sure and certain.”
Josiah pressed his lips together and nodded. If Rose suspected he loved her, he’d scare her away. He’d been careful. For four years, she hadn’t suspected that his thoughts were often on her or that she was everything he hoped for. He would never forget her kindness during his mamm’s funeral and afterward. She had been the one who had gotten him through it all—an unexpected gift from God. “What about brown? She wants to paint a horse.”
“Dull,” Luke said. “She’ll think you’re boring. But you are boring, so it’s probably a gute choice.”
“You’re not funny, Luke.”
“I’m not trying to be funny. A true friend is always honest.”
“A true friend would help me pick out some paint. I should have brought Dan,” Josiah said.
“And I should be at Poppy’s instead of wasting a perfectly good afternoon with you.” Luke grinned. “Dan wouldn’t have thought to send you to the Honeybee Farm with a pocketful of catnip, would he?”
Josiah didn’t even turn his head. “I caught on to what you’d done as soon as the kitten started climbing my leg.” He held out his arm. “You probably don’t even feel guilt
y for these scratches, do you?”
Luke chuckled. “Not if Rose was the one who bandaged you up.”
With his eyes still glued to the paint, Josiah curled one side of his mouth. “I suppose she was.”
Luke hooted and hollered right in the middle of the paint aisle. “I’m not such a bad friend after all.”
“Only if you help me pick a paint color. Gray is definitely out. I don’t even need your opinion about that.”
Luke smiled and slapped Josiah on the back. “You know I’m joking. I’m just trying to help you take this less seriously. The worry lines are piling up on your forehead next to that goose egg.”
“I can’t take it less seriously. I love her, Luke, and I’m fighting for every smile she gives me.”
Luke grew serious and placed a firm arm on Josiah’s shoulder. “Believe me, I understand. Poppy used to hate me. It was one of the worst times of my life. Regardless of what you may think, I care about you and Rose very much.”
“Then help me pick a color. It might be the one thing that softens Rose up.”
“Why don’t you buy one of each? Then you’re sure to get at least one she likes.”
Josiah rubbed the whiskers on his chin as he studied the display. “I don’t want to seem too eager. It’s got to be natural, like I’m not sneaking up on her. What about green? That farm scene needs grass.”
Luke sniffed loudly. Twice. “Green makes me think of phlegm.”
Josiah resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
Luke always made him appreciate a friend like Dan Kanagy.
* * *
Rose climbed down from the buggy with the quart of honey in her hand. It was past six o’clock, and Suvie Nelson’s honey was her last errand before home. Her visit to Mammi and Dawdi had taken longer than Rose had anticipated. Her grandparents had wanted to talk about Paul Glick and Poppy, and the possibility of Aunt Bitsy getting shunned. Paul Glick, Lily’s exboyfriend, had been threatening for weeks to have Aunt Bitsy and all the Honeybee schwesters shunned because, he claimed, they’d cheated him out of their honey. Plain and simple, Paul was mad that Lily had chosen Dan Kanagy over him, and he wanted to make Lily miserable because of it.
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