Sweet Baby Jesus, she was going to kill me. I glanced down to make sure my heart wasn’t visibly beating against my chest. Reassured that my own sudden nervousness was safely concealed, I nodded. “You can do whatever you want, Ana.”
I watched her face as her delicate hands fanned my chest. Her touch started off light and tentative before curiosity got the best of her, and she explored every plane, dip, and ridge I had to offer. My abdomen tightened when her fingers moved lower, skimming my surprisingly ticklish sides before stopping at the waistband of my jeans. If her hands drifted any lower, she’d find a lot more than she probably bargained for.
“Ana,” I ground out. Her name sounded like a question, but I didn’t know what I should ask.
“Ben, I . . .” She swallowed the nerves audible in her voice. “Don’t you want to be with me?”
My eyebrows shot up. “What?” Maybe she didn’t know that the huge bulge beneath her fingertips indicated just how badly I wanted her, but I knew the near painful ache well by now.
“We haven’t . . .” Red tinted her cheeks as she shook her head rapidly. “You haven’t . . .”
Ripped her clothes off yet? Kissed, licked, or otherwise tasted every inch of her body? Made her mine in every way that counts? All things I wanted to do, but I went with less shocking wording for her sake.
“Tried anything?” I grinned.
She peered at me with bashful eyes, and nodded.
“I don’t want to rush you, Ana. I know—”
“But you want to?”
Holy shit, she sounded hopeful. Surely I was mistaken. I gulped down the dry lump in my throat. “Ana, I’d be an idiot to not want to, but that—”
“Ben, I want to.”
Oh-kay. That changed things.
“Prom is this weekend,” she continued. “Ma’s extending my curfew for the night. Or I could sneak out. I’ve done that plenty of times . . .”
“And got away with it once,” I joked. I had to joke. Otherwise, I might give in to the painful need I had to take Ana right there on the tool bench.
“Ben,” she whined. “I—”
“We will.”
I silenced her with a hard kiss that assured her that we were very much in agreement. It would happen . . . soon. But not right now. Not on the tool bench in the barn. But if we kept talking about it, that was exactly what was going to happen.
Actually, if we kept kissing like this, it might still happen. I had to pull away, but I couldn’t. Not when she opened up for me the way she did, not when she made those little noises when I nibbled on her lip, and definitely not when her back arched under my weight, and her grip on the back of my neck pulled me onto the tool bench with her.
Hip to hip, the evidence of my impossible-to-miss arousal pulsed between us. Her mouth pulled away from mine, and her eyes flew open. I held her hips tightly, and rocked against her. Only once. Just enough for her.
Not nearly enough for me.
“That is how much I want you, Ana,” I rasped.
My God, did I ever want her now. This was the one of the few times I found myself grateful for my brother’s annoyingly bad timing.
When the door jerked open behind me, I knew there was a fifty-fifty chance of it being either Mitch or Joe. The familiar low chuckle over my shoulder confirmed that I would live to see another day, and gave me the motivation I needed to finally move away from Ana.
“By all means,” Mitch bellowed, “don’t stop on my account.”
Ana slid from her perch on the tool bench while I slipped my shirt over my head, then we both turned to glare at my brother. He looked between the two of us expectantly, like he was actually waiting for us to continue. Once he realized that wasn’t going to happen, he sighed dramatically.
“It’s time,” he told me with a shrug. “We’ve got to go get Mama.”
“Yeah, okay.” I was pretty sure that was why I had come in here in the first place. Getting ready to leave, that was what I had been doing.
Mitch grumbled to himself while he replaced a few items to their proper spots, and acted as the perfect buffer as Ana inched toward the door. Stopping there, she turned to cast me a look over her shoulder.
“Prom,” she whispered before slipping outside, without waiting for a response from me.
Not that I had a response. With any other girl, I wouldn’t have given the opportunity a second thought. But none of them had meant a fraction of what Ana meant to me now. For some reason, something didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what it was, but I worried I wouldn’t be able to give her the prom she expected.
I never did tell Ana about my scheduled physical. I didn’t want to worry her, and I knew I would be back in time to get ready for the dance. She would never have to know . . . until she needed to know.
After the dance, I concluded. I would give her one more worry-free night, and then tell her.
The drive to the doctor’s office took a little over an hour. Once there, I was placed in a waiting room with about a dozen other guys, ranging from my age to a few years older. The silence amplified the sullenness in the room—the occasional elongated breath, shift of denim on hot leather, or tap of fingers on a wooden armrest not enough of a distraction for any of us to forget the reason we were there.
The chirpy middle-aged nurse that greeted each of us at the door probably should have been given that memo. Each time she said a name like it was a privilege to be called, my fist tightened a little more on my lap.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one that noticed her unwarranted cheerfulness.
“She does realize we’re being asked to fight a war we don’t want to fight, right?” the guy beside me grumbled once the door shut behind the woman. Catching my eye, he offered a hand. “Luke Davis.”
“Bennett Sawyer.” Observing his black and orange Tigers baseball cap, I asked, “Where you from?”
“Greenville.”
“Ball player?” I nodded at the hat.
“Starting pitcher,” he bragged. “You?”
“Shortstop.”
We chatted quietly for a few moments, comparing baseball stats, achievements, and most memorable plays, before falling into the now familiar discussion about draft numbers and enlistment details only others in our positions understood. It helped to pass the time until my name was finally called.
Once in the heart of the office, I was put through a gamut of typical doctor’s office stuff. Weight, height, blood pressure. I answered dozens of questions about everything from vaccination dates to sexual history before getting stripped down and checked over by an older male doctor.
From there, I was taken to another room. Papers were shoved in my face, and shots were placed in my arm. I answered more questions, and filled out some paperwork, before being told to wait again.
When I was eventually moved to the fourth small room since I first arrived, I glanced at the clock on the wall. I’d severely underestimated how long this would take.
Another fifteen minutes later, someone came in to give me the news I’d been waiting for. I was free to go. Almost as an afterthought, they added the punch to the gut I hadn’t expected to receive today.
One final piece of paper was placed in front of me—one that stated my official enlistment to the Army. I glanced at all the other important stuff spelled out for me before shoving the paper in my pocket and walking out.
As I headed toward the parking lot, I heard someone call my name. I turned to find Luke Davis trotting to catch up with me.
“What’s the verdict?” he asked me.
“Enlisted,” I answered simply.
“Same here,” he grumbled. “Fort Benning?”
I nodded.
“Me, too,” he grumbled before cheering some. “I guess I’ll see you there.”
Not that I was all that excited about it, but it was nice knowing I’d see another familiar face when I showed up to basic training. As far as I knew, three other guys from my graduating class had already gotten their assignm
ents. All of them were also headed to Fort Benning.
I watched as Luke wandered toward the wooden bench near the parking lot, and I got the impression that he hadn’t driven himself here.
“Hey,” I called out to him. “Do you need a lift somewhere?”
He waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, man. I got a ride—”
He was cut off by the rattling of an old Chrysler as it zipped into the parking lot. Luke jumped to his feet as the car pulled up to the curb.
“You got a girl?” he asked me with a grin.
I nodded as a petite blonde with a very noticeable swollen belly got out of the driver’s seat.
“Marry her yet?” Luke pressed.
“No.”
Luke gave me a calculating look. “Might want to think about it. Otherwise she gets nothing if . . . well, you know. Me? I’m at least guaranteed that my family name will be passed on.” He stopped to place a tender kiss to the girl’s temple when she rolled up beside us. “This is my soon-to-be wife, Beth,” he told me, then to her, said, “That’s Bennett. We’re going to be in basic together.”
“Nice to meet you.” She gave me a warm smile before turning adoring eyes on Luke. “Baby, you ready?”
“Sure am.” He shot me an inconspicuous look as he turned away with Beth under his arm. “Think about it, man. I’ll see you soon.”
I waved good-bye, but didn’t bother to tell him there was no way I’d ever consider his suggestion. Not in the least. The mere thought of leaving Ana in that girl’s position—widowed with a baby—made me sick to my stomach.
I knew, without a doubt, as I watched them drive away, that was something that I would never let happen.
Mitch was snoring on the couch when I burst through the door an hour later. I made enough noise that he stirred, and I jumped on the opportunity. I’d told myself that I wouldn’t purposefully wake him up—I’d learned from my one mistake—but since I’d managed to rouse him somewhat . . .
“Hey?” I prodded from a safe distance.
“Wha . . .”
“You sober enough to go get Mama?”
“For what?”
“She’s at work,” I reminded him.
He sat up, and rubbed a hand over his face. His eyes, when they lifted to mine, were red and swollen. “I thought you were getting her?”
“I’m late getting back, and I’ve still got to get ready.”
I pulled my best “please, help me” face, and my brother sighed his dissatisfaction.
“Fine,” he grumbled.
I waited for him to move. When he didn’t, I ordered, “Get up.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m not going to get in the shower until I know you’re not going to fall asleep, so get up.” I moved to push him off the couch, and he shot up to grab me in a headlock. Typical move, I should have seen it coming. Too late, I was forced to give in to my role as the little brother, and let him rib me until he was satisfied.
Once that was over with, he shoved me toward the hallway. “Go make yourself nice and pretty, little baby.”
I tossed my shit in my room, then took a quick shower. While I was shaving the little bit of scruff off my face, I heard the front door open and shut, and the voices of my brother and my mama drift back from the kitchen. I threw on the pants I’d worn earlier, and darted across the hallway to get the suit from my room.
I found Mama there, sitting on the edge of my bed, the paper I’d been given today in her hand. I watched from the doorway as her eyes scanned the words, pausing in a few key spots.
“Recommended for service,” she read.
I felt strangely guilty when I nodded, as if it had been my choice to enlist. As if I had a say in the matter, and I had chosen to leave her and put her through the distress that came with the very real possibility of losing a son to this war.
I hated to see the tears that rimmed her eyes. “Infantry?” Her voice squeaked on the one word.
She knew what that meant as well as I did. The front line. The mostly likely to shoot, and be shot at. Same dice my brother had rolled two years ago.
“June fourteenth . . .”
The day I must report to Fort Benning for basic training. Georgia, middle of summer. Sounded like a great fucking time.
“I know what it says, Mama.” I moved to snatch the paper from her hands, but she countered my move to keep the cursed paper firmly in her grasp.
“Does Ana know?”
“I just found out.” I lunged for the paper again, and ripped it in two as I yanked it out of her hand.
“You need to tell—”
“I know!” I roared, then immediately cowered under my mama’s stern gaze. “I know I need to tell her, and I will. I just . . .”
Needed to get through the rest of the night hidden under the illusion of normalcy. If anything, for Ana’s sake. She was really excited about the dance, and I didn’t want to ruin that. I only hoped, that when the time came, I didn’t ruin everything. What I settled on telling my mama was the truth.
“I just need some more time.”
She pointed to the balled up, torn paper in my hand. “It’s only a month, Ben. You need to give her time to . . .”
“What?” I smirked. “Run? Get as far away from me as—”
“To get used to the idea,” Mama snapped. “I’ve seen that girl with you. She’s not going to go anywhere, and you owe it to her to come to terms with what’s happening before it’s too late.”
“Too late for what, Mama?”
She sighed heavily. “Just tell her, Ben. She needs to know.”
“I will.” Just not tonight. I knew it was selfish of me, considering what I also knew I needed to do, but I planned to hold on to what Ana and I had for one more night. One more night before I possibly ruined everything.
The entire evening was a wonderful dream. From the moment he picked me up until the last song played, Ben went out of his way to make prom a memorable night. It could only get better. I was fully prepared for what I hoped would be one of the best nights of my life.
By the time we got to the after-party at the river, though, Ben had drifted into his own head. I recognized the signs: short, uninterested answers to my questions; minimal eye contact; distracted in every way. It wasn’t the first time he’d slipped off since that night in the treehouse, but I had hoped it wouldn’t happen tonight.
“Hey . . .” I nudged him in the side with my elbow. Around us, most of the SC High student body had gathered on the narrow beach. We, of course, had prime seating on the log beside the bonfire, but Ben wasn’t talking to anyone. His eyes snapped to mine, and I attempted a smile. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” he answered automatically.
“Ben.” I inclined my head. “I’m not an idiot. What’s wrong?”
He shook his head in frustration, and peered up at a group of senior boys who were competing for the title of biggest idiot. His jaw clenched, and he tilted his head toward me. “You want to get out of here?”
My stomach somersaulted as I managed a nod. Had he remembered the semi-thought-out plan I’d suggested a few days ago? Even if that wasn’t what he was hinting at, I’d rather be alone with him than at this party anyway.
He temporarily slipped back into the role of the boyfriend I was accustomed to as we made our way to the parking lot. In the seclusion of the truck, he pulled me to him and gave me a tender kiss.
His forehead bumped against mine, and he muttered, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I cupped one side of his face in my hand. “Want to talk about it?”
He shook his head once before seemingly changing his mind. His eyes held mine for so long my stomach started to knot.
“Ben, wha—”
“I got assigned to the Army today,” he said softly.
My immediate reaction was to pull away. I stared at him in disbelief, and a whole lot of denial, as I shook my head. “When? How? Wait. You had your exam already?”
; “Today.”
“Today? Why didn’t you—”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” he cut me off. “You were looking forward to tonight, and I didn’t . . .” He trailed off with a small shrug.
“Didn’t want to ruin it? That wouldn’t have ruined anything,” I argued. “I would have rather known you were dealing with that today, than to be obsessing over some stupid dance.”
“You had a good time, right?”
“Of course I did!”
He shrugged. “Then I made the right decision.”
“But—”
“Telling you wouldn’t have changed anything,” he insisted, “and I’m telling you now, because . . . well, you need to know.”
I settled into my seat as I absorbed what he was telling me. He was going. He’d said the words I’d been dreading, for months, to hear. “When?” I asked quietly.
“I leave for basic in a little over a month.”
I felt the wetness on my cheek as a single tear slid from my eye. I turned away so Ben wouldn’t see it, but he somehow knew it was there, and lifted a hand to wipe it away.
“Ana, don’t . . .” He sighed, and dropped his head. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m okay,” I sniffed. As upsetting as it was to hear his leaving was definite, I’d known it was possible. The fact that he hadn’t told me just how close he was to leaving until now was what upset me the most right now. I couldn’t keep the resentment out of my voice. “Anything else you need to tell me?”
When an immediate no didn’t come from him, I stiffened. A cold chill whipped down my spine as I turned toward him. He wasn’t even looking at me, choosing instead to peer out the windshield toward the beach.
“Can we go?” he asked, finally shifting his eyes to me. “I’d rather go somewhere else.”
I couldn’t find my voice, so I nodded. It didn’t escape my notice that he hadn’t actually answered me, and that potentially significant detail plagued me the entire way to his house, and worsened with each step we took toward the tree house.
What else could he possibly have to tell me?
What Comes Next Page 18
