"I know, it still worries you," he interrupted. "It is only temporary, Jenna. Your body is readjusting itself to the Weave, because what happened to you changed your body. Since the body is what makes us able to touch the Weave, that means that you have to wait until your body reestablishes its connection to the Weave before you can use your powers." He looked down at her as she sat back down on the bed, and he sat his Illusion on the stool before her. "I see you're on Grandfather's ship," he noted. "Where are you headed?"
"Suld," she replied. "Mother figured that it would be the best place to go, with what's happened to me and what you said to her."
Tarrin grunted. "I'd have preferred you not go there, but in a way, it may be for the best," he told her. "Have you noticed that you have a different sense of the Weave?"
"Oh, yes!" she said quickly. "I can almost see it sometimes, and I can feel it all around me. Sometimes I can almost hear something, like the beating of a heart, and the strands all quiver in time with it."
"Good, then you're already starting to adjust," he told her. "You'll regain your powers soon. Exactly how long, I have no idea. It took me about two rides or so to get my powers back, and since you're so close to me, I figure you'll regain yours at about the same time."
"That's a relief," Jenna sighed.
"It won't be the same, Jenna," he warned. "You'll have to relearn how to touch Sorcery all over again. It's different for you now."
"Can you teach me?" she asked immediately.
"Well, there's not much to teach," he said. "I can help you avoid the stumbling block that tripped me up. I kept trying to touch the Weave, and kept failing. I didn't realize that we don't have to do that anymore."
"We don't? Then what do we do?"
"Nothing," he told her. "It's all willpower now, Jenna. You just have to will it, and if you have your powers back, it'll happen. You just have to will it hard enough. The Weave will fight against you, in a way that's alot different than Sorcery, so when you do manage to get the Weave to respond, you'll have to be ready for it to try to resist you."
"That sounds pretty easy."
"It is," he assured her. "And there's something else you need to know."
"What?"
"You have access now to High Sorcery," he told her. "You can use that power by yourself, without a Circle. I just want to warn you not to experiment too much with it. If you have to use it, go ahead, but only use it if you don't have any other choice."
"Does it work the same way too?"
"No, it's different. You have to draw in the power of the Weave to use High Sorcery, much like you'd draw power to use regular Sorcery. When you need to use it, you shouldn't have any trouble making it happen. Just remember that it's going to tire you out, so only draw what you need, and use it quickly. You don't play or show off with High Sorcery. It's only to be used when it's needed."
Jenna flushed visibly.
"I know, that's how you got into this," Tarrin said with a slight smile. "Showing off for your friends, and you lost control, didn't you?"
Jenna blushed furiously.
"I thought so," he chuckled.
"I couldn't help it!" she said in a plaintive tone. "I just love using Sorcery so much! I can't believe that I was ever afraid of it!"
"But now you know better," he said calmly.
"You have no idea how much I know better," she blurted.
"That's a healthy attitude," he told her. "It would have happened eventually, so don't kick yourself over it. The Goddess explained it to me. You and me, we're what they used to call sui'kun. For us, losing control as we did was an absolute certainty. If it hadn't been then and there, it would have been somewhere else. It would have eventually happened to both of us, no matter what."
"Well, that doesn't make me feel any less foolish," Jenna admitted.
Tarrin laughed. "Don't worry about it, sister. You survived it, and that's what was most important." He assensed himself, and found that he was still feeling very strong. He didn't want to wear himself out doing this, in case he had to defend the camp with Sorcery, but he felt that he had plenty more time. "There are some thing you can do now, if you'd like to learn."
"What kind of things?"
"Things only you and me and one other person can do," he smiled. "We are Weavespinners, Jenna. We have access to things that other Sorceres can't even imagine. Would you like to learn?"
"Oh, yes!" she said happily. "Teach me, Tarrin! Please?"
"Alright," he smiled. "What I'm doing now is part of something that you can do now. We can separate our consciousnesses from our bodies and make them enter the Weave. Before I came to see you, I entered the Weave, and used it to find you. Then once I did, I created this Illusion and put myself into it. My real body is back in the desert, but I can't see or hear or smell anything back there, because my consciousness is here, with you, in this Illusion."
"So, I can send myself directly into the Weave?"
Tarrin nodded. "You did it once before, remember? When you lost control, you found yourself flying, and then you were in this huge black void, surrounded by stars and strands, and you saw yourself looking into this brilliant light that seemed to have eyes. Those eyes looked down at you, and you suddenly felt better than you ever had in your life, as if someone had touched your soul."
Jenna's eyes began to well up with tears. Tarrin's explanation had obviously conjured up fresh memories of that experience.
"It was so beautiful," she whispered. "I thought it was a dream when I woke up, but a part of me told me that it couldn't have been."
"That was the Goddess, Jenna," he told her gently. "You sent yourself into the Heart, into the core of the Weave, and you looked into the eyes of the Goddess. Wasn't it wonderful?"
"It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" Jenna agreed emphatically.
"Well, you can go back there any time you want," he told her. "All you have to do is send yourself into the Weave."
"How do I do that?"
"It's a matter of concentration," he told her. "It helps if you're in physical contact with the Weave, but it's not absolutely necessary. I have to be in physical contact with it to do what I'm doing now, because I used my powers across a thousand leagues, but to just join with the Weave and go to the Heart doesn't require it."
"How do I do it?" she asked, more urgently.
"You just close your eyes and relax," he told her. "Relax and use the tricks father taught you when shooting a bow, about emptying your mind of stray thoughts. Then you reach out and feel the Weave, with all your senses. And when you do that, when you can feel every little thing in the Weave all around you, you simply let yourself merge with it. When you do that, your consciousness joins with the Weave, and you can travel all over it with your mind."
"Can, can I wake up when I want to?" she asked.
Tarrin nodded. "You can always wake up any time you want, just by wishing it," he assured her. "You can also find the Heart any time you want, because you'll always be able to feel it when you're joined with the Weave. It will guide you to it whenever you want to go there."
"I want to try it," she said immediately. "I want to go back to that place."
"Not right now," he told her. "I need to ask you a few questions first."
"What?"
"Did Mother have Grandfather stop the fighting with Tykarthia?"
"No, Mother didn't do that," she answered him. "A few days ago, a Wikuni ship stopped us and sent over a man with some papers for Grandfather. When he read them, he told the Wikuni to tell the other Ungardt clan chiefs what was going on. Then the Wikuni left, and their ship sailed off. Yesterday, three of their big--what do you call them, clapper ships?"
"Clipper ships."
"Clipper ships, they joined Grandfather's longship and they're going with us to Suld. Mother said they're escorting us, to make sure nothing tries to sink us on the way."
"Good old Kerri. She doesn't miss anything," Tarrin chuckled.
"You mean that Wikuni gir
l sent the ships?"
"That Wikuni girl is the Queen now, Jenna," Tarrin smiled. "She sent them to protect you, because you're the same as her little sister now."
"I didn't know that," Jenna fretted. "If I did, I'd have been nicer to her."
"When did you meet Kerri?" he asked curiously.
"It was when we visited you at the Tower," she replied. "I thought she was a mean jerk. She was really nasty to Mother."
"That was an act, to confuse her enemies," he told her. "Kerri's really nothing like that. She's a total sweetheart."
"Well, that's how she seemed to me," Jenna huffed.
"That's how she wanted you to think of her, so you felt the right way," Tarrin told her with a light grin. "When are you going to get to Suld?"
"I think Father said we'd get there in a few days," she answered.
"Good. Just be careful when you get to Suld, Jenna. And I don't want you going to the Tower. It's too dangerous there."
"Mother wants to spend the time there with Master Tomas and Mistress Janine," Jenna told him. "Mother doesn't want to go to the Tower either."
"That's a good idea," Tarrin agreed. "You'd have Janette there to play with."
"I like her. She's a nice girl."
"She's a wonderful girl," Tarrin said warmly. Memories of his Little Mother never failed to cheer him up. "She means alot to me."
"I can't see why."
"Because she saved my life," he answered honestly. "If Janette hadn't have found me, I'd have died."
"You never told me about that."
"I will someday, but not now," he todl her. "I can't do this for very long, because it tires me out very fast, and I can't afford to get exhausted right now. I'll have to abandon the Illusion in a minute."
"But I wanted to try to join the Weave!" she protested.
"I can't coach you, Jenna," he explained. "It's something you just have to do for yourself. I'll tell you what. I'll wait in the Heart for a while, and if you show up, we'll talk some more. If not, then I'll understand."
"Understand what?"
"It's not as easy as you think to do what I'm doing," he warned. "It does take a little practice. If you get surprised or lose your focus, you'll find yourself back in your body before you realize what happened. Odds are, the first time you manage to do it, you'll be so surprised you'll lose it and end up back where you started. So if you can't make it to the Heart tonight, I'll understand perfectly. It's not something I expect you to just do the first time and be perfect." He shook a finger at her. "And do not push yourself too hard, young lady," he warned. "It takes effort to do this, and the more you push yourself now, the longer it's going to take for you to regain your powers. So if you can't do it tonight, then wait a day or so before trying again. So you can rest."
"Alright," she promised. "I'll try tonight, but if I can't do it, I'll wait a day before trying again."
"Good. I'm going to dissolve the Illusion now, so I'll wait for you in the Heart. If I don't see you, then you take care of yourself, and I'll come over and talk to you again in a few days, alright?"
"Save it for when we're in the Heart, brother," Jenna said with a challenging smile.
"We'll see," he replied. "See you soon."
And he withdrew from the Illusion, allowing it to unravel.
He returned to the Heart and did exactly what he said he would do. He waited. He wanted Jenna to do it all by herself, with no help, no coaching, so she'd be able to say to herself that she did indeed do it all on her own. It would be good for her self-esteem, for Jenna often lacked confidence when she was a girl. Learning Sorcery had bolstered the girl's confidence, but he knew that losing her powers had been a crushing blow for her. This would allow her to rebuild that confidence again.
He didn't have long to wait. Jenna appeared within the Heart mere moments after he left her, her phantasmal body wearing what she had been wearing in the cabin in the real world. Her expression was gloriously happy, her face beaming. "I made it!" she cried happily as she floated over to him.
It was a very long time in coming. Tarrin reached out and embraced his sister, holding her soul in his arms the same way he would have held her body, and he felt the core of her close to him. Topmost in that sensation was the love they shared, the deep connection of family, a feeling so profound that it made the Heart shimmer with a strange bell-like choral echo.
"Tarrin, I've missed you so much!" Jenna whispered to him as she hugged him.
"I've missed you too," he returned, revelling in the sensation of finally being near to a member of his family again.
Their embrace was a long one, but they eventually pushed out so they could look at one another, Jenna's hands on his sides and his arms looped around her protectively. "What was that about me not getting here?" she challenged with a bright smile.
"I'm glad you made it," he told her. "This doesn't tire me out like projecting does."
"You'll have to teach me how you do that."
"I already did," he smiled. "Now then, why don't you tell me all about what happened in Ungardt? And not just what happened with magic. I want to hear all about your visit there."
For quite a while, Tarrin listened to Jenna talk about their trip from Suld to their grandfather's home, in a small town called Dusgaard, then she described the town and the people there. Being a young girl, Jenna focused on small things that wouldn't have mattered to an adult, mainly on the boys of the village. Tarrin enjoyed it all, even the things that really didn't matter to him, because they mattered to her. He learned that life in an Ungardt village was rather boring, especially during the winter, so the people did all sorts of things to keep themselves occupied. They met in the town hall and danced, they went on sleigh rides, the men hunted reindeer and boar, the women would often meet while the men were hunting to gossip, and they would tell stories during the long winter nights. He learned from her that there was a period of about two rides when the sun barely came over the horizon, for about half an hour of dawn-like sunlight before it set again. The Ungardt were a boisterous people, so Jenna described quite a few brawls and altercations, even among the women. Ungardt women weren't as docile as other human women, many of them learning to fight. An Ungardt woman was just as likely to get into a fight as a man. That surprised and frightened Jenna a little bit, until she got comfortable with the idea that most Ungardt women were like their mother. Outwardly aggressive, but very sensitive and warm and loving when one got past that roughened exterior. The Ungardt were a surprisingly emotional people, which probably explained their penchant for getting into fights.
Jenna didn't quite fit in with her larger, more physical playmates, but her magic was the balancer. They didn't pick on Jenna because she could strip them naked without laying a hand on them. And she had done so to the first young man that had tried to bully her. At first, they were afraid of her, but after a little time to adjust, they came to accept her as just another young lady. Jenna made many friends during her time in Ungardt, and she spoke most often about a girl named Marianne, a busty, rather lustful young girl who was a pattern Ungardt, who was her best friend there. Jenna had been a bit scandalized by Marianne's loose concept of morality. She was a very direct girl with a mind entirely too old for a fourteen year old girl. Yet somehow, Marianne had won his straight-laced sister's confidence, and the two of them had become best friends.
After Jenna was done, she demanded to hear about what Tarrin had done, so he obliged her. He told her most of the tale of his journey from Suld, about his wounding and acceptance by the other Were-cats, about their trip to Dala Yar Arak and a good deal of what had happened there, and much of his trip through the desert. He left some things out, things too graphic for his younger sister, or things he didn't really want her to know. He explained to her what Shiika had done to him to make him grow, and told her all about the Selani and their desert. He told her about the Urzani woman, Spyder, about how she had come to him and forced him to come into his full power, and he told her about the Cloud S
pire and his final battle with Jegojah.
"You mean that ugly dead thing was being forced to do it all along?" Jenna asked.
Tarrin nodded. "But he's free now, and he's going after the man who enslaved him. He won't bother you again."
"I used to have nightmares about it," Jenna admitted. "I was terrified that it would come back."
"Well, that's something you never have to worry about again," he told her gently. "If you do ever see Jegojah again, he'll be there as a friend, not as an assassin. He asked about you, you know."
"It did?"
Tarrin nodded. "He wanted to be sure that you were alright. He was worried that he may have hurt you."
"Well, that was nice, I guess," she said after a moment.
Tarrin felt a distant sensation. Sarraya was tugging on his ear. "Sarraya wants me for something, Jenna. I'd better go. We've been here a while."
"I don't want to go," she sulked.
"Jenna, we can come here any time we want," he smiled. "Does it matter that we have to leave?"
Jenna looked at him, then laughed. "I guess not," she admitted. "But how will I know to come here when you're here?"
"Well, I guess you won't, but I can contact you with the amulet," he told her. "I could contact you and tell you to come home. You'd know that means to come to the Heart."
"Why not just tell me?"
"Speaking through the amulets isn't secure," he told her. "But talking here is."
"Oh. Alright."
"I have to go," Tarrin said. "Sarraya's about to pull my ear off. I'll see you soon, Jenna."
"Goodbye, Tarrin. Good luck," she called as Tarrin withdrew from her, and then sent his consciousness back to his body.
Tarrin opened his eyes and winced as Sarraya wrenched his ears. "What?" he demanded in irritation.
"It's your watch!" she growled at him. "I'd like to sleep sometime tonight, you know!"
"It's that late?"
"You've been off chasing dragons for nearly four hours!" she said hotly. "Now I'm going to go to sleep. Try not to go back to zombie land, will you?"
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