"Yes, but don't worry about it," he told her. "Alright, cub. Give it a try, and remember, if you succeed, don't try to do anything with it. Just let it go. Alright?"
"Alright," she said, her expression becoming serene and her eyes closing. He could feel her power rise up within her, build upon itself, and then it pushed out from her in a sudden wave. As soon as that wave struck the Weave, the strands responded instantly, sending their flows out and into her. Jasana's paws suddenly limned over with the ghostly radiance of Magelight, and Tarrin felt the power try to flood into her.
He was about to intervene, but he felt the strangest thing. Jasana pushed back against that torrent, and where he had always failed to stop it, she succeeded. He was so stunned that he forgot to tell her what to do next. She could control High Sorcery! Maybe not control it enough to weave powerful spells, but she could touch High Sorcery and hold it without it getting away from her!
"Am I doing it right, papa? Is this right? Papa?" she asked in sudden concern.
Tarrin blinked, staring down at his little daughter. "I--yes, Jasana, that's perfect! I'm very proud of you! Now let it go, like I showed you. Remember not to try to cut it off too fast, or you're going to suffer a backlash. Those hurt, if you didn't know."
"Alright," she said, closing her eyes again. He felt her constrict the pathways into her, felt her choke off the power flooding her, but she was closing them too fast. Tarin first thought to intervene, for she was about to generate a backlash, but he decided against it at the last moment. It would be better for her to find out what happened when you messed up. The pain would be a good learning experience. The flows rushing into her shuddered, and then they suddenly evaporated. Jasana made a squeaking sound as a sudden rush of air blew away from her, enough to make her shirt billow, and her fur suddenly stood on end as the power built up inside her suddenly drained away, forming its own link back to the Weave to do so. She had been too rough with it, and broke the connections before she had fully closed them. She had suffered a mild backlash.
"Ouch!" she gasped, jumping off the bench and rubbing her bottom, as if she'd been spanked. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow! That hurt!"
"You did it too fast, cub," he told her. "Now that you've had a taste of what can happen when you do it wrong, maybe you'll pay more attention to what you're doing."
"I thought I was doing it right," she protested.
"You were, but you did it too fast," he told her. "You have to do it slowly, so the power you have inside you has a chance to go back into the Weave before you break the connection. If you have power inside you when you break the connection, it causes a backlash, and I just told you that they hurt."
"Boy, do they!" she said. "That was worse than Mama spanking me!"
"And that was a mild backlash," he told her. "That's as weak as they come. If it had been a real backlash, I'd be scraping you off the ground. A backlash can kill if it's strong enough, Jasana. This isn't a game, and magic is not something you take lightly."
"I noticed, Papa. You always take it so seriously."
"That's because I don't want to get killed, cub," he said dryly. "Remember, a backlash can kill you, so you have to be very, very careful when you let go of the Weave."
"Can they hurt worse than that?"
"Oh, yes," he said with a steady look. "Remember, that was a mild backlash. Trust me, cub, you do not want to find out what a strong backlash feels like. Take it from experience."
"I don't want to feel that again!" she said emphatically. "I'll do it slow this time, Papa, I promise!"
"That's a healthy attitude, cub. Alright, let's do it again. Remember, touch it, feel it for a few seconds, then let it go."
"When can I do real magic?"
"When you can touch the Weave without trying, and let it go without hurting yourself, every single time," he said adamantly. "Not a second until then."
She nodded, and her little face took on a very serious expression and they began again. Tarrin put her through her paces, having her touch High Sorcery, hold it for a little bit, then let go, over and over and over again. Just as he had done when he started, at first she had trouble touching the Weave, even for High Sorcery. She failed the first three times she tried, until she composed herself and remembered what she was doing. But just as he had done, she learned the art of touching the Weave quickly. Once she knew where to look for it and how to reach out to it, it began to respond to her much more readily than it had before. He realized that that first time, she had reached out instinctively to the Weave, where the three attempts after that were conscious attempts. But after a little instruction, she learned how to touch the Weave consciously, and it became easy for her. Every time she touched it after that, he had her draw in just a little more power, and then a little more, then a little more, slowly introducing her to the way it felt to hold the power inside her. He knew that they'd not come close to her limit, and he didn't want to get anywhere near that. He just wanted her to get an understanding of how different it felt to hold different amounts of magical power, and how to sense how much she was holding at any one time. When the time came to weave spells, the ability to know how much power one was holding was critical for efficient weaving. Trying to weave a spell when one didn't have enough power to finish it or release it could cause a fizzle, or even worse, a Wildstrike. A Wildstrike generated from someone of Jasana's power would be something he did not want to see. She was still having trouble letting it go, however, and for the first half an hour, she generated a backlash every single time she let go. He observed her both physically and from the Weave, sensing her ability to draw the power, and gauging how it responded to her. She became more and more comfortable with it, and by the time he decided that she was too tired to go on, she was at the point where she could release it without causing a backlash about half the time. Jasana came to dread the part of letting go, but to her credit, she didn't shy away from the exercises. Jasana was one determined little girl, determined to learn how to do magic.
After letting it go for the fourth time in a row without causing a backlash, Tarrin knelt in front of the bench and put his paws on her shoulders. "Alright, cub, I can see that you're getting tired," he told her gently, wiping sweat from her forehead. Sorcery was physical exertion, and it was showing on his little one. That caused his fatherly instincts to rebel against what he was doing to her, but he knew that it had to be done. She had to learn, and it wasn't going to be easy, and it was going to hurt. But having her sting a little now was far preferable to her Consuming herself later. "I think we should stop now."
"Aww, I can do a little more, Papa," she protested.
"You could, but it won't do you any good," he said firmly. "We can practice again tomorrow, alright?"
"Can I do magic tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.
"We'll have to wait and see," he told her. "You definitely need more practice with this, cub. Touching and letting go of the Weave are the most imporant lessons I can teach you. They're even more important than making spells. Because if you can't touch the Weave every single time without fail, and you can't let go of it without hurting yourself, then you'd be better off not trying to use the magic. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Papa," she sighed in disappointment.
"It's always good to stop when you're doing well," he smiled at her. "That way, you have something good to look back on when you're done."
"I guess so," she smiled, a smile that made his heart soar.
"That's my girl," he said with a loving smile, collecting his daughter up in his arms. "Now let's go get something to eat, and then we'll go to bed."
"I am a little sleepy," she admitted.
"Doing magic is alot of work, cub," he chuckled. "It takes it out of you. When I learned, all I wanted to do after I finished my lessons was drag my tail into bed."
"But Mama wasn't there. It must have been lonely."
"Well, not entirely," he told her, walking towards the choked entrance to the courtyard. "At that time, I shared a room with Dar. You remember Dar
, don't you?"
"I like Dar. He's nice."
"Well, he was my roommate at that time," he said as they disappeared through the hedge. "We used to stay up half the night and talk, even when we were so tired we wanted to sleep."
Spyder did not call him out the next day, or the next, or the day after that, but they were busy days nonetheless. The mornings and afternoons were spent with Jasana, usually in the courtyard, as he continued to train her in the use of Sorcery. She was a very smart little girl, as he knew, and she proved it by grasping the basics of Sorcery in a very short time. Despite her inability to use regular Sorcery, he taught her its rules and laws anyway, if only because they would form the base of what she would learn when she eventually crossed over and started using Weavespinner magic. He didn't teach her any spells until she mastered the arts of touching and letting go of the Weave, and he was always drilling it into her that she should never draw more than she needed to do what she wanted to do. By teaching her that, he hoped to put off the possibility that she would face being Consumed any time soon. She did master the basics in another two days, so he began teaching her simple spells.
The rest of the day was spent with Jenna. It was a bit of a realignment of his thinking to go from teaching little one and two flow spells to working with the full six and seven flow knots that Spyder had taught them, as they practiced the multitude of spells that the Urzani had taught them in that single night. It was slow going, because even though they had learned how to weave the spells, there were always subtle ways to alter them to make them best suited for a particular situation. That meant that they had to practice weaving them, to understand which flows could be adjusted that would change an aspect of the spell. They also needed to practice for its own sake, to be able to weave the spells quickly and without having to stop to think about what to do. Just because he knew a spell, that didn't mean that he was proficient with a spell. He wanted to be able to use any of the spells that Spyder taught him before the ki'zadun came, because he very well may have to use any one of them in the course of defending the city. Even at his level of power and his formidable ability, he still had to practice, and every once in a while, one of the new spells he had learned fizzled on him as he practiced using them. Jenna had a slightly worse time of it, probably because she didn't have as close a connection to the Weave as he did. Where the Weave would silently and gently urge him in the ways to use his magic, sometimes without him knowing it, Jenna had to rely on her memory. But they methodically went through each and every spell Spyder taught them--Jenna wrote each of their names down, so they didn't forget one--practicing it over and over until the weaving of it was automatic and efficient, and they had puzzled out the ways the spell could be altered on the fly to make it more effective for the given situation.
The days full of using Sorcery left him completely drained by suppertime. He was distant and inattentive to his family and friends as they ate dinner together, a practice that had turned into a daily custom. They would all gather together in one of the larger private dining rooms and eat together, so at least they could all see each other and keep up with the daily events in everyone's days. Keritanima and Dar especially had become very suspicious of his activities after the third day, when he'd put his head on his arms and fell asleep right in the middle of the meal. Jenna too showed signs of weariness, which only reinforced their belief that he was teaching her magic. That in itself wasn't a big deal, but he knew Kerri. If she knew he was teaching magic, she was going to try to figure out a way to eavesdrop on them and learn. Keritanima absolutely couldn't stand it when someone knew something she wanted to know, and wouldn't tell her.
The nights belonged to his family. Even though he was very tired, he didn't neglect his duties as mate and father, even bond-father. He spent his evenings with Jesmind and Jasana, and also had started having Jula over during his quiet family time. She was a part of his family, albeit a reluctant one, and he figured that it was about time for Jesmind and Jula to get to know each other and bury the past. Jasana seemed to have taken a liking to her "big sister," and that helped soften Jesmind's prejudice against Jula. Jesmind knew the history between Tarrin and Jula, and to her credit, she didn't hold it against the fledgeling female Were-cat. They also enjoyed time with his parents and Jenna, and with Triana, when they decided to come over and visit.
The cycle of activity began to wear him down. When he woke up one morning after engaging in this new pattern, he felt tired before getting out of bed. Jesmind wasn't there, and from the sound of it, she was cajoling Jasana about something in the common room. He swung his legs over and scrubbed his face with his paws, trying to wake up, trying to motivate himself to get up and get started. He still had alot of work to do with Jasana, but thankfully, he and Jula had gone through the entire list of spells, and had practiced with each of them enough to where he was proficient in their use. The most wearying part of his daily routine had been completed, and though they would still get together and practice after lunch, at least it wouldn't be as rigorous and exhausting for him. Jenna still needed more practice, and he was going to help her with the ten or so odd spells that she seemed to be having the most trouble weaving.
Jesmind came in, muttering to herself. Whatever had gotten her out of bed had done it abruptly, because she hadn't even bothered to dress before going out. "What's the matter, love?" he ased woodenly.
"I'm going to kill that daughter of yours," Jesmind growled. "I caught her setting fire to the wood in the fireplace!"
"We don't need a fire during the day," he mused.
"She did it with magic!" she snarled. "You told her not to use magic when you weren't around!"
"Oh," he said, his face hardening. "Want me to--"
"No, I already took care of it," she said with a grim finality. "She'll be having trouble sitting down for a while." She looked at him. "I'm surprised you didn't hear it," she said. "Jasana was yowling like a badger with a burr in its tail."
"It must have woke me up," he said, flopping back on the bed, "but I don't remember hearing it. Goddess, I'm tired," he admitted.
"I can tell," she said, leaning down over him, staring into his eyes. "You're pushing yourself too hard, my love. You need to slow down."
"I can't," he groaned. "I don't know how much more time we have, so we have to be ready."
"I can understand that, but look at you. Falling asleep during dinner, dozing in the sofa before bed, and we won't even talk about what it's taking for me to get you hot and bothered," she said with a slightly dangerous look. She reached down and brushed away the bangs from his eyes, the only part of his hair not caught up in his braid. "How much good are you going to be to everyone if you're falling asleep in the middle of the battle, Tarrin?"
Despite his weariness, he laughed. "I doubt that's going to happen."
She grinned impishly. "Me too, but you know what I mean. You're tired. Since you're tired, why don't you rest for today? I'm sure they'll understand." She scooted around and laid down with him, partially atop his chest, her feet crossed in the air and visible over her head to him. "I've missed my mate these days," she admitted. "You don't want me getting cranky now, do you?"
He laughed helplessly. "You win," he told her. "I'll take today off. I don't think I could light a candle with Sorcery right now anyway."
"Good," she smiled victoriously, tousling his bangs. "Now then, my mate, the first thing you're going to do is get right back in this bed and sleep some more." She gave him a quick kiss. "Then you're going to have a good meal to build up your strength." She kissed him again. "Then you're going to spend a nice quiet day here, doing nothing more strenuous than reading a book." She kissed him again, a little more seriously this time. "And tonight, you're mine," she concluded fiercely.
"I should have you plan my days for me more often," he purred, running his paws up and down her back.
"I can do it a damn lot better than you can," she teased.
"You're such a selfish little girl," he told her.
"Damn right," she agreed with a grin, giving him a lingering kiss. "You bring out the worst in me."
"I've noticed."
"Now then, enough stalling!" she announced rising up and grabbing him by the tail. "Back in bed, young man!"
"Alright, alright," he conceded, but she didn't give him the time. She scooted around on her knees, deeper into the bed, then yanked on his tail. He gave out a yelp as she dragged his legs back into the bed, pulling him by the tail, and it wasn't an entirely pain-free experience. "Never drag your feet when someone has you by the tail, beloved," she said with a wicked little smile.
"That hurt," he complained, rolling back over on his back and snatching his tail away from her with a paw.
"It got the job done, didn't it?" she challenged, laying down beside him again, propped up on his chest.
Tarrin wavered his tail gingerly, making sure it wasn't broken, then gave his mate a slightly unpleasant look. "Don't do that again," he warned.
"It worked."
"What?"
"I wanted a reason to kiss and make up," she purred. "It gives me a conscious-free excuse to make out with you when you're so tired."
Tarrin looked at her in surprise, then he laughed helplessly. "You should have tried saying 'Tarrin, want to neck a while?'"
She grinned wolfishly at him. "Then I'd feel guilty for keeping you up," she said, dropping down and giving him a deep kiss. "By the way, sorry for pulling your tail. Forgive me?" she asked, breaking the kiss long enough to aplogize.
He laughed again, but it was smothered by another kiss.
Despite her obvious ardor, she didn't push it beyond making out, and then she did relent to let him go back to sleep for a while. He had to admit, the sleep did him a world of good, and when he did finally decide to get out of bed, around noon, he felt much better. After a rather large meal with his family in the common room, he did exactly as Jesmind ordered, he curled up on the couch with a book. Jesmind took Jasana, who was feeling just a little too energetic for Tarrin to feel like he was relaxing, to visit with Triana. That gave him some quiet time without distractions. The book he chose was the book he'd been carrying around with him for nearly a year, the Book of Ages. Like the others, he'd had a curiosity about it, and since he found himself with an available day, he decided to start reading it.
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