A slow, radiant smile transformed her face. It was enough. She knew better than to ask him about Shelagh. She would just have to accept her importance in Rob’s life for now, but maybe in time she could make him love her. She would have the advantage of being around, part of his day-to-day existence.
‘Then what are you doing sitting over there so far away?’ she teased.
A slight frown creased his face. ‘It’s too soon, really, I know. I shouldn’t have told you—’
‘Too late! You have!’
With no further need either to hide or suppress her own feelings, she surrendered willingly to desire’s sweet insistent tug and was on her feet and moving across to him while he was still sitting there.
Gracefully she leaned over him, placing a quick, loving kiss on his brow before easing herself down so that she was half sitting on his lap. She felt Rob’s tension increase and saw the way his face went taut and still as she wound her arms about him.
‘Are you really thinking properly, Lucia?’ he demanded harshly.
‘Feeling,’ she corrected him lyrically, before pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth.
His hands left the arms of the chair, coming up to hold her a little away from him, and she could see sparks of some emotion in the smoky depths of his darkening eyes.
‘Are you sure, Lucia?’ he prompted urgently. ‘Oh, hell! I know I can’t expect you to be absolutely certain yet—’
‘You can!’ Lucia contradicted him, the words emerging in a soft rush.
Her heart felt as if it was expanding to accommodate its load of love. He was so fair. She sensed that the question was asked for her sake as well as for his.
A fleeting expression of reluctance crossed his face, hard and unwilling, and it might have deterred her had she not been so acutely aware of his lithe body’s leaping reaction to her nearness.
Rob really did want her, therefore he should have her. And even if he didn’t love her yet she could dream that he might some day, and work at achieving that prize. It was just so simple when you loved. The loved one’s desires took precedence over all other concerns.
A faint breath of laughter escaped him, banishing the reluctance.
‘I can’t decide if you’re delightfully uninhibited or just plain reckless,’ he admitted, his fingers beginning to stir, circling sensuously about her upper arms and shoulders. ‘Either way, you’re irresistible—so don’t go changing your mind, because I don’t think I can let you go now, my darling.’
‘I won’t—you won’t have to!’ Lucia asserted emotionally, thrilling to the endearment and then sighing with pleasure as Rob gathered her in closer to him.
‘We’ve known each other such an incredibly short time when you think about it,’ he observed musingly, in between scattering kisses along the line of her jaw. ‘But I suppose a certain intimacy was prematurely created and then fostered by the particular circumstances, and that has accelerated everything else…You’ve told me you’re not physically adventurous, but it’s obvious that getting close to me is one physical adventure that doesn’t give you any qualms.’
‘It’s the only physical adventure I want to have,’ she emphasised candidly, impatient to throw herself into it and shower him with all that she had to give.
‘I like that,’ Rob was murmuring against her ear.
‘Then let’s go to bed,’ she urged.
‘What’s the hurry? We’ve got all night,’ he reminded her with indulgent amusement.
Rob’s mouth found hers, his kiss leisurely but so thorough and searching too that it seemed as if he reached right down into her soul. Lucia was weak and shaking by the time he ended it, only to have him claim her mouth all over again, swallowing her enraptured gasp, the play of his lips and tongue blatantly erotic now.
A little later, when mutual delight blossomed dramatically into the urgent, driving need for something more intense, they both wanted to hurry, rushing headlong towards the explosion of the senses that awaited them.
When they had moved to his bedroom and undressed, dividing their attention between their own and each other’s garments, Rob had pulled back the covers from the low, wide bed and left a light on so that they could both observe the beautiful changes that passion had brought to their bodies.
Lucia’s skin was flushed and glistening, her breasts swollen orbs crowned by the dark jewel-glow of her stiffly erect nipples, and she could not be still, writhing and undulating, in thrall to rapture and fiercely mounting desire.
All this was for Rob—this man whose mind had been so sensitive to her every thought and emotion from the day they had met, and whose body was now proving to be equally perfectly attuned to hers. So why should his heart not be the same some day? He was so magnificent in the grip of his passion, his body hard and vibrant, a film of perspiration giving a gleamingly polished look to his skin.
Or rather, this had been meant for Rob, but he was too complete a man only to take and give nothing. With hands and mouth and body he devoted himself to her pleasure, every touch, each caress, whether lightly skimming or voluptuously lingering, always stoking the ravening fire at the heart of her womanhood.
Lucia gave herself up to sensation, but revelled still more rapturously in what his urgently muttered endearments, broken gasps and violently pounding heart told her she was doing for him. She dedicated her love to his happiness, wildly spendthrift, lavishing it on him in a profligate outpouring of emotion.
When the ferociously aching need impelling them became a clamorous imperative, they moved simultaneously to effect the moment of their union. Bodies met, and joined in a primitively passionate surge of thrusting movement, the eternal miracle of male and female symbiosis proving the design perfect one more time, the woman’s enveloping reception as sure and positive as the man’s confidently powerful invasion.
To be one with Rob brought a towering joy. Lucia had never felt so sensitive, so receptive to pleasure, and answered voluptuously to his throbbing demand, approaching a shattering crescendo of sensation that originated deep within her, where he was moving so strongly, and spread outwards to engulf her entire being.
One fist drummed against his shoulder, beating a frenzied tattoo that had the same rapid, frantic humming-bird rhythm as her ecstasy’s convulsions.
‘Rob!’ His name came from her in a whispering cry as they shuddered together in the final spasm of mutual release.
Then he was withdrawing from her and Lucia collapsed, sated and still mindless, incapable of moving as she waited for her fluttering pulses to calm and her breathing to slow. After a few seconds Rob moved so that he was lying beside her, one arm curled slackly across her, and she did move then, to accommodate the loose embrace, utterly relaxed and beginning to smile.
The power of thought restored itself after a while, and then she couldn’t stop smiling.
‘Lucia? You are so…’ The slow, thoughtful words died away, and he was silent and still for so long that she thought he must have drifted off into sleep, but finally he concluded, ‘So generous. And an angel.’
‘No angel,’ she said, with a quivering sigh of laughter.
‘No, perhaps not,’ he conceded with lazy humour, after apparently thinking about it for several seconds. ‘And you’re brave—to be willing to move forward so soon, instead of wasting time looking back.’
Lucia sighed contentedly. Maybe there was a hint in there that he felt a time would come when he could stop looking back to Shelagh. She would have to be patient, though. She mustn’t trouble him with the fact of her love yet; it would disturb him, or perhaps make him feel guilty. So there was no point in telling him that she had nothing to look back to and yearn for because her relationship with Thierry had been based on illusion, especially as doing so might give Rob a clue about truth that he wasn’t yet ready for.
He would know in time, of course, just as he knew everything else. But she didn’t want him to yet, and she doubted if he would want to know either. The fact that she loved him could
mean nothing to him now, and he wasn’t a cruel man, so he wouldn’t relish having to explain that he didn’t want her love, and why.
She must watch her words and be careful not to push him into having to reject her love outright in so many explicit words. It wasn’t his fault that her heart had chosen him for her to love, so she had no right to burden him with it.
Once again Lucia made the only commitment that, to her, love had ever seemed to demand. She would do, be and give whatever he wanted her to. It hurt, loving a man who didn’t love her, and her intrinsic pride still tended to flinch if she thought too much about that facet of it, but the loving was stronger.
Later in the night they made love again, in the dark now, wrapping each other in tenderness so warm and deep and rich that it brought silent tears before detonating into passion once more.
And one more time, in the very early morning, their energy seeming to feed on its own expenditure, desire rampant and inexorable. Rob’s passion was so devouring, the rhythmic strokes of his possession so relentlessly fierce, almost desperate, that it seemed as if he was trying to hold onto the night, to stave off the day.
Consumed by a raging welter of ecstatic sensation and complex emotion, Lucia cried out uncontrollably, her mouth and fingers so frenzied that they had to be leaving marks on his skin.
When it was over, she fell into a sleep so swift and sudden that it was almost a faint, but Rob woke her a while later by brushing the hair back from her face with idly caressing fingers.
‘You have to be on duty in the shop soon,’ he reminded her when she smiled as she realised that he was already showered and dressed.
‘And you?’ Just out of sleep, she didn’t have her voice under control, and the question came out husky and tender.
Rob was seated on the side of the bed, looking down at her, and she was conscious of something reflective about the way his long fingers circled the curves that gave her face its heart shape.
‘I must go. I have to say goodbye to my sister—maybe spend a bit of time with her before going to the airport,’ he told her abruptly, taking his hand away as she hitched herself up against the pillows, keeping the top sheet covering her breasts.
Lucia just hid her eyes in time as realisation hit her. Oh, god, how could she have misunderstood him so completely? Last night hadn’t been intended as the start of an affair. He had meant it to be exactly what it had been—a night in bed with her. A single night. He didn’t want her enough for more.
His other affairs had lasted longer than a night, though, even if they had all ended eventually, according to what Nadine had told her, so maybe he hadn’t really wanted her very much at all, and making love to her had just been a way of ensuring that she would be so enslaved that she would leave Thierry alone when he was no longer around to keep an eye on her. He hadn’t trusted her when she had told him that she didn’t want Thierry back, but he couldn’t spare any more time for guarding Nadine’s interest.
‘Well, I hope you have a safe flight, Rob,’ she offered politely, pride coming to her rescue, because she couldn’t bear the thought of his guessing how much she had read into their lovemaking.
‘So formal? After all we’ve shared, and especially last night, Lucia?’ Rob taunted gently. ‘Sweetheart, I’m not sure when I’ll be back—’
‘Don’t bother rushing back on my account,’ she interrupted tautly, anguish a twisting sensation in her heart. ‘Last night was…all I wanted. For comfort, like you said.’
There was a brief silence and then Rob said curtly, ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Why not? Wasn’t it all you wanted?’ she retorted innocently, acting desperately.
The back of his fingers nudged at her chin. ‘Look at me.’
After a moment spent steeling herself she did so, and he transferred his hand to where her fingers had begun a tense, weaving dance about each other.
‘What more do you want?’ she asked mockingly. ‘I really won’t be going after Thierry, Rob.’
‘Then anything more I might want becomes irrelevant,’ he snapped. ‘Thank you, Lucia. I’ll be satisfied with that.’
He released her hands with an abruptness that was a rejection, bringing a poignant tightening to her throat.
‘Rob…’
She still didn’t have her act properly together, and the way she whispered his name was very shaky and emotional. His features tautened as he heard.
‘Yes, Lucia, I know last night was a mistake!’
‘My mistake!’
‘So you’re regretting it already?’ Rob taunted. ‘Then there’s no point in my hanging around. I must go. Is there anything you need from your room? I can find Madelon on my way out and ask her for you if you like?’
‘No, there’s nothing—as long as I can make use of your bathroom.’ Lucia eyed the dress that she had worn last night, a pool of sumptuous green on the long, low table at the foot of the bed, and her laughter had a betrayingly brittle ring to it. ‘It’s not as if I’m going to be slipping back to my room in the sort of ball-gown or cocktail dress that would really give us away. Or was public knowledge the object of the exercise?’
The impulsively mocking question brought a blazing anger to Rob’s eyes as he stood up. ‘You know damned well it wasn’t, Lucia,’ he snapped furiously.
She had dropped her eyes fleetingly, enraged with herself, but now she raised them again, the look she gave him very clear.
‘Yes, I do. It was something much simpler than that. Maybe you should go. Thank you for making me so happy all night.’
It drove the rage away, but the smile he gave her was sardonic.
‘No. Thank you, Lucia,’ he said significantly, and she had an idea that he sighed slightly before straightening his shoulders and adding easily, ‘I suppose I may see you again, if you’re still around next time I have to visit the island, but, if not, then I hope everything goes well with you, whatever you choose to do—and remember to stay free to choose. Goodbye.’
Ask me to go with you!
The thought was so full of anguished longing, almost willing him to ask, that for a moment she thought she might have begged aloud, but Rob’s face didn’t change.
He didn’t ask her, of course, and Lucia watched him turn and walk away out of the bedroom, through the open door leading to the suite’s living area. She saw him pause and pick up a single small piece of luggage which he must have taken through while she had still been sleeping. Then he moved out of her line of vision and she heard the suite’s outer door being opened and then firmly closed a few seconds later, the sound somehow as final as a full stop.
With a shuddering sigh, she put her hands over her face and wondered what she was going to do with the rest of her life.
CHAPTER TEN
A SPRING tide was due the weekend before Christmas and its ebb completely uncovered the reef late on the Saturday afternoon. Lucia was off duty, and she wrapped herself in a soft, snowy pareo that accentuated her delicate tan and the fair sun-streaks glinting in her hair, and walked out to the rocks on bare feet.
She had rarely sought solitude in her life and she liked it even less now, tending to seek the company of such friends as Hassan, Madelon and Chester in her leisure hours, as an aid to keeping thought and consequent pain at bay. But she had been among people for most of the day—escorting a minibus tour on a circuit of the island, with a picnic lunch at Chomoni Beach—and the colourful riches of the reef had always fascinated her, as long as she didn’t have to dive to inspect them.
She was thinking about her friends as she wandered along just inside the reef. Hassan had been one for many years, but Madelon and Chester were new. She was glad that she had them, especially in this season which was so much a time for sharing with families or lovers—but she wasn’t going to start thinking like that again! It made the yearning loneliness too much to bear, and then not even friendship could ease it.
Most of the islanders themselves didn’t celebrate Christmas, but the hotel’s various r
estaurants had been booked to capacity for both Christmas Eve and lunch the following day by the non-Islamic sector and such temporary residents as business people and embassy staffs.
The hotel was already sporting an attractive mix of African and traditional European decorations, waiters were being drilled, chefs were hyper, and both a top cabaret act and a rock group were due to arrive on one of today’s flights into Hahaya.
Lucia’s mother had written in response to her letter explaining that she and Thierry were no longer getting married and that she was working here until she could afford to leave. She had urged Lucia to come to England in time for Christmas, the nice-sounding man who was soon to become her stepfather having offered to pay her fare.
Lucia had declined without giving the matter very much thought, except to reflect that her refusal would probably ease the mind of the man her mother was marrying. He was obviously generous and tolerant to have offered when the story of how she came to be stranded here must make her seem feckless in the extreme, but he had to have wondered if he was being wise.
She felt little inclination to leave the Comoros at present She was as comfortable here as anywhere, and even the likelihood of encountering Thierry and Nadine at some stage held no terrors for her. In fact, she had seen nothing of them since Rob had left, and heard nothing either—although Hassan had passed on the local gossip concerning Beth Olivier’s latest trip to South Africa: she had bought a townhouse for herself, intent on leaving the couple alone once they were married.
Lucia thought that she might just decide to stay on, especially now that Chester had changed her job yet again, claiming that she was wasted in the hotel shop. She could make a proper career of what she was doing now—But she wanted more than a career. She had to stop thinking these things! Resolutely, Lucia went on with what in essence was the non-planning of her life, knowing that she would simply drift into remaining, lacking any personal incentive to motivate her…
Substitute Engagement Page 16
