by Mia Clark
"That doesn't even make sense," she says, grinning at me.
"Listen, it's like a hundred times better, alright? Is that good enough for you?"
"Just a hundred?" she asks.
"Fuck, a million," I counter.
"Just a million?"
"Greedy, much?"
"We should see if we can get the number higher, though," she says, nodding. "We'll have to practice."
"I will practice that with you," I tell her. "I'm pretty sure just by you saying we should practice, you're up to a billion times better now."
"You're cute sometimes when you say stuff like that," she says, smiling. Quick, she sneaks over and kisses my cheek while I'm driving. "You make it sound sweet, even though you're talking about having sex with me."
"Hey, it's not just the sex," I say. "What about cuddling? I've never even really cuddled with a girl before, but I fucking love cuddling with you. I'm romantic like that."
"Too bad we can't share the same tent, then," she says, pouting. "Just to cuddle, I mean."
"Yeah, of course, just to cuddle," I say, smirking.
"And having sex," she adds.
"Oh yeah?"
"And... talking?" she asks.
"I like sex and all, but if you ever want to cuddle and talk all night sometime, let me know. I'm down."
"Aw, really? That's sweet."
"Preferably naked cuddling," I add. Can't be too sweet here, you know? I need to keep up these bad boy appearances.
"I do like naked cuddling..." she says, grinning at me.
Aw yeah. I predict good things in my future. Hers, too. Ours, together. We've got to plan that shit together, you know? I'd like to have a future with her. Seems like it'd be the best.
*** Ashley
We're finally here, and it's more amazing than I ever could have imagined. My mom and I aren't really the camping type. I think we both probably thought it would be fun, but when I was growing up, money was kind of tight, so we didn't go on a lot of trips. Camping isn't exactly expensive as long as you have all of the equipment for it, but getting the tents and everything was beyond us.
Not now, though. It's kind of strange to think about it like that, too. For Ethan and his dad, camping is probably one of the least expensive things they could ever do. It's a strange world to step into in a lot of ways, and yet I've stepped into it twice now, haven't I? First when my mom married Ethan's dad, which was sort of a shock that I'm still getting used to.
And now with Ethan. Is it going to be different because of that? Is dating him going to involve something else? Um... I don't think so. To be completely honest, Ethan doesn't exactly act like a spoiled rich kid billionaire playboy or anything, either. He just kind of does his own thing and lives his own life.
It's just weird to me, though. Camping is something relaxing and easy to Ethan and his dad, but to me and my mom the very idea of having enough money to go camping was an impossibility just a few years ago. Our vacations usually just consisted of spending the day at the beach.
It's beautiful here, though. I can see why Ethan and his dad like this place.
"What do you think?" Ethan asks me as we drive in.
"It's amazing," I say. "There's a lot of trees."
He laughs. "Yeah. Don't you worry, Princess. You'll have more than your fill of trees by the time we're done here."
"Can we go hiking?" I ask.
"You want to go hiking? You don't seem like the type."
I shrug. "I don't know? I've never been before."
"What? Are you being serious right now?"
"Um... yes?"
We stop at the main office, which is just a small building. The door is open and an older man and a boy probably about the same age as us come out to greet our parents. It's not much of a welcome, but they smile and they look nice enough. Ethan's dad talks to them first from inside his car, then gives them a piece of paper along with some money.
"Is it expensive to stay here?" I ask.
"Nah," Ethan says. "If you go camping with an RV, it costs a lot more, but with just tents and stuff it won't be too much. We're all on the same lot, so it's a pretty good deal with four of us, too."
"You and your dad used to just come here alone, right?"
"Yeah," Ethan says, kind of quiet.
Maybe he's thinking about something or remembering something? They've talked about camping before, but I don't really understand some of what they say when they mention it. It seems important somehow, but I don't know how.
Ethan's dad looks over his shoulder towards us and gives us a thumbs up from the car, then starts driving off again. We follow him. The road goes from regular to dirt and dust shortly after we leave the office. We drive through rows of trees, heading deeper and deeper into the forest. I can still see the main road from my side of the car if I look through the trees, but on Ethan's side it's all forest as far as the eye can see. We take a turn and go even further in. The road and civilization is behind us now. It seems so far away.
"I can see why you and your dad had those rules about leaving your phones behind," I say. "It feels like we shouldn't use them here, even if we had them."
Ethan grins. "Yeah. My dad kind of intentionally left out the fact that the signal's really bad here, too. Even if you had your phone, you probably couldn't use it for much. Could play games or something, I guess, but there's a ton of great stuff to do here, so I don't know why you'd want to."
"Oh?" I ask him, smiling, feigning innocence. "Are you sure there aren't any fun games you want to play with me?"
"You have no idea, Princess..." Ethan says, smirking.
It doesn't take us long to get to our campsite, even though it seems like it's forever away. It's far in the back, one of the last lots at the end of this dirt road, and with no one else nearby. In fact, it doesn't seem like there's a lot of people here at all. We passed a few, but nothing crazy.
Ethan seems to guess at what I'm thinking.
"It gets busier later in the season," he says. "The beginning of the summer is the time to come if you want to relax, though. We should have almost everything to ourselves. Just the way I like it."
"Why's that?" I ask.
"You," he says. "I've got plans, and every single one of them includes you and me, alone, nice and quiet. Not sure about relaxing, though. I'm going to make you real tired, Ashley. Hope you don't mind."
"Hmmm!" I say, grinning and thoughtful. Is he now?
We park our cars to the side of our lot. It's just a cleared out area for us to place our tents. I kind of like the fact that we can set it up however we like. It's sort of like building something. Not that we have a lot to build, but it reminds me of when I first moved in with Ethan and his dad, and how I got to plan out everything about my room. Um... now I just get to plan out exactly where my tent goes, but it's still kind of fun! It's different.
"Let's fight or something," Ethan says to me before we get out of the car. My mom and his dad are getting out and starting to pull their luggage from their car, too.
"What about?" I ask. "When are you going to tell your dad, by the way?"
Ethan shrugs. "I don't know. I want to try and look more responsible first."
"Um... so we're going to fight about something so that he doesn't catch on, but then you're going to try to look responsible so you can tell him we're dating?"
"Yeah?"
"What if we just don't fight, then? Won't that seem more responsible?"
"If we don't fight, that's going to seem suspicious," he says. "Yeah, I guess it might seem like it would be more responsible, too, but I doubt my dad sees it that way."
"I guess..." I don't know if I follow his bad boy logic in this, but it's his decision and if it makes him feel more comfortable, then I'm fine with that.
Also, I do kind of want to fight with him, because I have a good idea about how to do it. It's kind of a risk, and I don't think Ethan would like it if I told him beforehand, but that's exactly why I'm not going to tell him. He's the
one that wanted to fight, right?
"Ew!" I say, loud enough so that my mom and stepdad can hear me. I get out of the car and glare at Ethan as he steps out, too. "That's gross, Ethan!"
He just gives me a weird look, like he's wondering what I'm even talking about. It's a good look, very convincing. Also, he really doesn't know, so that helps.
"Ethan? Really? What'd you do?" his dad asks.
My mom just looks at me, shaking her head. I'm pretty sure this isn't fooling her one bit, but I kind of like that, because I think she's going to really enjoy what I have planned.
I put my hands on my hips and harrumph. "He said that the lake was nice, and we should go swimming, except then he said I should wear my bikini, because it's, and I quote, 'sexy as fuck, Princess.'"
This is, um... I don't know? I'm trying to add motive! That's a thing, right? I think so, but I'm not really sure. Basically, er... I didn't really think this through too much, but I'm going to do it anyways. I have plans, alright? Just stay with me for a second.
I keep going. I can't stop now. "I mean, I guess it was a nice thing to say, but that's kind of weird, isn't it?"
Ethan shrugs, nonchalant. "Hey, if the bikini fits."
"I think the saying is if the shoe fits," I correct him.
"What the fuck do I care about shoes?" he asks. "Shoes aren't sexy as fuck. I've got priorities here, Princess."
His dad sighs. "Ethan, I know you like teasing Ashley, but—"
I interrupt him quick and turn to Ethan. "Do you think it's cute, though?" I ask him. "The bikini, I mean? I don't think I'm sexy. Um... Jake broke up with me, and... I'm not that kind of girl, Ethan."
I try to really play it up. This is like a good thing and a bad thing and I think this is going to work. It's a fight but then not a fight?
Ethan gives me a strange look as if he's trying to figure out what my game is in all of this.
"Cute can be sexy," he says. "Just a different kind of sexy. I didn't mean anything by it, Princess. It's not like I'm sitting here checking you out or staring at your ass all the time or anything."
Is that a lie? He stares at my ass? All the time? Um! How do I feel about this? I think I should be a little upset, but I kind of feel really happy about it if he does. Which he might not. He said he didn't, but the way he said it makes me feel like he does. I don't even know anymore.
"Is this what kids do these days?" my stepdad asks my mom. "Am I missing something here?"
"Oh, it's just some gentle teasing and rivalry," my mom says, waving her hand in the air, dismissive.
"Jake's a fucking idiot," Ethan says to me. This is real. Really real. "You're attractive, alright? Any guy would be super fucking lucky to be with you, and any guy who wasn't a huge asshole would treat you like a princess, so I don't know what's going on there, or what you two had together, but he's the one that's missing out. Understand? And, yeah, whatever, you do you, Ashley, be yourself, but if you want to wear that bikini of yours that I'm sure you brought, even though you're shy as fuck sometimes and don't want to wear it, uh... you find a guy at the lake and he's yours if you want him. Just make sure he's not a dick or I'll kick his ass."
Oh. Oh! I try not to smile too much, and I hold myself back from running over and jumping into his arms and kissing him over and over, but I really like that. I think maybe we're bad at fighting, though. Was this a good fight? Did Ethan's dad buy it?
I know it's kind of unorthodox, but I thought it might be good if we could fight, but then not fight, and also the motive, right? Ethan said I'm sexy as fuck, or I kind of lied and said he said that to start the fight, but, um... that doesn't matter! For all my stepdad knows, Ethan said it, and that's what counts, which means when Ethan tells him we're dating, it'll make sense. Sort of?
I don't know if this will work or not, but I love Ethan and he really is sweet sometimes, even though a lot of his sweetness seems to come with swear words and bad boy logic. I'm getting used to it, and actually I really like it.
"See?" my mom says to Ethan's dad. "I told you, didn't I? They'll be best friends by the end of the trip."
Ethan's dad seems skeptical still. "You might need to work on your approach, but it's great that you're looking out for Ashley," he says. "Just calm down with the four-letter vocabulary."
"Yeah yeah, got it, Dad," Ethan says.
*** Ethan
I have no clue what this girl is thinking, but I'm pretty sure she almost blew my cover. Seriously, who does that? I ask her to get in a fight with me to keep my dad from getting suspicious, and she tells him I'm talking about how sexy she is? What the fuck?
I guess it worked, though. Maybe. I still don't know what's going on there. I'm done with this. I've got work to do.
My dad and I pair off to set up the tent he'll be sharing with Ashley's mom, and Ashley and her mom are working on her tent. Theirs is a lot easier, but I think this is going to be awhile because they look like they have no idea what they're doing. My dad and I work pretty quickly, but this tent is sort of huge, so it's going to take some time. I'll help the ladies out after, though. Shouldn't be an issue.
"What do you think about Ashley?" my dad asks me.
I blink and look over at him. We're far enough away that Ashley and her mom can't hear us, but it's still a weird as fuck question to ask.
"It's been a few years since I married her mom and I was just wondering how you two are adjusting," he says.
"Is this about the sexy as fuck bikini thing?" I ask him.
"I don't know if that's a compliment nowadays or what, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for you to be telling your stepsister something like that," my dad says, grinning. "I admit it was kind of funny, though. I guess it's a nice thing to say."
I shrug. "Just trying to boost her confidence, you know?"
"Ah," my dad says, nodding. "I get it."
We keep working. This isn't complicated or anything, but there's a lot of technical work involved, holding shit up, putting everything into place. It's definitely a two man job.
"Are you two doing better, though?" my dad asks again. Apparently he can't keep this down.
"Dad, I don't know what you're asking, but I had a nice time hanging out with her while you guys were gone, so yeah, I guess we're adjusting or whatever you want to call it, and I guess we're doing better."
I'm not sure I want to say more. I feel like I'd incriminate myself. This is enough for now.
"What about that girl you're seeing?" my dad asks. "Ashley met her, right?"
Fuck. Uh... yeah... wow... how do I handle this one? Fuck if I know.
"We all hung out together a lot," I say. "You know, like swimming and all that. Watching movies. Pizza. Whatever the fuck."
"I don't think doing 'whatever the fuck' is an actual activity, Ethan," my dad says.
"Sorry. It's a bad habit."
"It's fine. I'm used to it. Let's just try to calm it down in front of the girls, alright?"
Yeah... I'm anything but calm around Ashley, though. You think I say "fuck" a lot, Dad? Pretty sure if I had the opportunity, I'd be doing it with Ashley a whole lot more than saying it. But what do I know? Going to have to calm that down, too. I doubt that's kosher what with uh... yeah, these tents are only going to be twenty feet apart, if that.
Can you keep quiet at night, Princess? If I sneak into your tent, you promise not to moan too loud? Because, you know what? I don't think you can keep that promise, and I'm going to do everything within my power to make sure you don't, so...
My dad gets a hammer to pound one of the corner stakes for the tent into the ground while I hold up this side and have impure as fuck thoughts about my stepsister. Also, I look over at her, too, because I kind of want to check out her ass. Sexy as fuck, that's what that is.
I can't see it, though. I can see her just fine, but not her ass. Her and her mom are talking quietly about something or other, I don't even know. The tent isn't going up very well, but I have a sneaking suspicion they aren't even trying a
nymore. Yeah, yeah, don't worry, we'll come save you two damsels in tent distress. I'll rescue you, Princess. Just call me Ethan, the tent-slayer. I get that this makes no sense, but whatever. I'm busy holding this tent, and I'll help them out after.
Except Ashley's got other plans. I knew she was smart, but I didn't realize the full extent of it, I guess. I sort of just figured she used her powers of intelligence for the greater good, you know?
Nah. This girl is devious as fuck...
She notices me watching and winks at me, then holds a finger up to her lips, telling me to keep quiet. You got it, Princess. No words from me. She sneaks over to the firepit we set up before, where my dad left his spare hunting knife. He was just using it to scrape shavings from a piece of wood so he could light a fire easier later.
Ashley doesn't care about the fire, or proper knife usage. She slinks back to the tent, all while me and her mom watch her, and then she pokes through it. Yeah, uh, what the fuck? Slices right through the tent, then tosses the knife back towards the firepit, and pulls the tent apart. The sound of it ripping practically roars through our campsite, catching my dad's attention. He's done pounding that stake in and he jumps up and looks at me.
"What was that? Did the tent rip?" he asks.
I shrug. "Nah, not over here."
"Oh no!" Ashley says, super exaggerated.
She stares at the tent, and her mom does the same thing. They both look crazy to me. These crazy women are just stabbing and ripping tents. Seriously, who does that?
"It ripped..." Ashley's mom says, sounding devastated. She is totally not even devastated. They planned this. These people are insane.
"What?" my dad says, buying into it. I don't want to say he's gullible, but, uh... if the bikini fits? Yeah, I think shoes are a better choice here. Ashley was right.
He rushes over to inspect the tent they were working on, and sure enough it's ripped. I could have told him as much, because I saw it happen, but whatever. I go over, too, just because I feel like I should. Someone's got to bring back the sanity, right? Never thought I'd see the day when it was me doing it, though.
