by Scott Speer
“Angels are being killed in the order of their stars on Angel Boulevard, and they say Jacks could be next! They can’t even protect themselves! How does that make you feel, Maddy?”
Jacks could be in danger? Maddy couldn’t even let herself process this. She might be mad at him, but the thought of something happening to him made her heart clench. And what was this about a serial killer? All she could do was duck her head and walk even faster. Finally, at the corner, they left her. She hazarded a glance over her shoulder as she gasped to catch her breath. They were inspecting their cameras now, reviewing what they’d got as they hurried to their cars. The pictures would probably be on the Internet within a few minutes.
She pulled her hood tight over her head and walked briskly down Angel Boulevard, not daring to look up. She could just imagine an Angel Tours bus slamming on its brakes and the tour guide announcing, “You’re in luck, folks. If you look to your right, you’ll see Jackson Godspeed’s girlfriend!” She ignored the shops now selling T-shirts with Jacks’s face on them and the slogan Warning: Protection of Jackson Godspeed. She paid no attention to a guy dressed up like Jackson who wanted to take a picture with her. At the light at Angel and Highland she kept her head down, avoiding the screens that declared, “FULL COMMISSIONING COVERAGE” and the signs that announced, “ROAD CLOSED FOR SPECIAL EVENT.”
Then she heard a scream.
It was a girl a few years younger than she was, also standing at the corner and waiting for the light to change. She looked from Maddy, then to her iPhone, and then back to Maddy again. She gawked in amazement.
“It’s you,” she squealed hysterically. Maddy had been recognized. “OMG!” the girl gushed, sounding just like Gwen. “Can I get your autograph?”
Maddy blinked at the girl in horror. This wasn’t really happening, was it?
It was.
As she stood there, trying to use her hair to cover her face, a crowd of tourists formed. Disposable cameras flashed. A man wearing a John Deere hat yelled, “Martha, look! It’s her!”
The light turned, and Maddy ran the rest of the way toward school.
Entering the hall felt almost exactly like arriving at the party last night. Everybody stared. Except it was worse, because at least last night she was somewhere she didn’t belong. Now she was in one of the few places she did belong, and people were gazing at her like some strange creature. Like a freak. It was like she didn’t belong anywhere anymore. As she walked, Maddy became aware of the fact that it was actually growing quieter. Conversations died as she passed. People were hushing and pointing. Maddy could hear the sound of her own feet on the linoleum. With her arrival, the usually loud and chaotic hallway of Angel City High had gone dead silent.
She hurried numbly to her locker. Gwen wasn’t there, which was unusual. She was avoiding her, Maddy realized. The possibility of just how badly she might have hurt Gwen was beginning to form in her mind. Pulling out her books, she tried to ignore the fact that most people were still staring at her. It felt incredibly lonely. The bell rang, mercifully, and Maddy decided she would try to apologize to Gwen at lunch. If she could find her, that was.
The school day that followed was tense, awkward, and embarrassing. In English, Maddy discovered there was a test she had totally forgotten about. In the middle of struggling through an essay, a phone rang. It was loud and obnoxious, but certainly sounded futuristic and expensive. Then it hit her. It was her Blackberry Miracle.
“Maddy, you know the rules,” Mrs. Stinchfield scolded. “Phones need to be off during class.” As Maddy fumbled for the Berry, it gave a “new voice mail” chime. Mrs. Stinchfield glared. “You may be a celebrity in the world now, Ms. Montgomery, but in my classroom, you’re still just a student.”
Maddy silenced the phone as best she knew how. After that, she couldn’t focus on the exam. When the lunch bell rang, she had to turn the test in incomplete.
The hall was unusually quiet again, but this time she could hear excited whispers as she passed. People were reading their phones and throwing not-so-subtle glances at her. She didn’t even want to think about what the blogs were saying about last night. Or the incident on the porch this morning. And she could only hope Uncle Kevin didn’t notice anything on ANN. When she rounded the corner, she saw Gwen at her locker, quickly slamming it and hurrying to escape. She saw Maddy and paused, as if caught. Then she folded her arms over her chest, leaned against the bank of lockers, and tapped her heel in defiance.
“Hey—” Maddy began timidly as she walked up. That was all it took.
“Yes, I worship him,” Gwen blurted, “yes, I would probably worship his dirty laundry, but you didn’t have to lie to me about it.”
“I know, I was wrong—”
“What have I ever kept from you, Maddy? Even that time I made out with Brandon Davis while he was going out with Emily, I told you.” Maddy withered under her friend’s furious stare. “I had to find out from Samantha. In a text. My own best friend couldn’t even tell me the truth! Some friend,” she scoffed.
She was right, Maddy thought. Absolutely right. Gwen could be a walking parody of herself sometimes, but she was Maddy’s friend. And she had always been a good one—the only one, really. And Maddy had blatantly lied to her.
“I don’t know what to say, Gwen,” Maddy said, shamefaced. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Gwen sniffed. “So what, you’re Jackson Godspeed’s girlfriend now?”
“No, that’s all over,” Maddy said. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Gwen dabbed a finger to her running mascara. “Well, I don’t know what you were thinking either, Maddy.” And with that, she flipped her hair and was gone.
Maddy felt the eyes of the entire hallway crawling over her skin as she spun the dial of her lock. They had probably heard the whole thing. Was this the way it was going to be now? Was this what she had to look forward to for every remaining day of her senior year? All Maddy could think about was escaping. Her eyes drifted to a nearby stairwell door, and she ran for it.
In the stairwell, she stood gasping for breath. Was her life ruined? Probably not. But what else did she expect to happen when she agreed to go out with Jackson Godspeed? The realization was slow, and bitter. She had been Angelstruck. She slid down and sat on the steps. He had walked into the diner and she had turned into a silly, Angelstruck little girl. And she used to make fun of Gwen for being obsessed? She felt like such a fool.
“Spending some time with the Angels, huh?” a voice echoed above her. Maddy looked up.
It was Tyler. He was standing with Ethan, giving Maddy a dirty look. Her face flushed red in embarrassment as she remembered the conversation he’d been having in the commons about Angels. What Tyler—what Ethan!—must think of her right now.
“Go on, I’ll catch up,” Ethan said to him. Tyler slowly walked into the hall.
Ethan came down and sat next to her on the step. He laughed a little, looking at Maddy with a friendly, comfortable expression. “How’s that working out for you—hanging out with the Angels, I mean?”
Maddy shook her head, unable to meet his gaze. With Gwen she had felt like a backstabber. Now with Ethan, remembering their conversation in the diner, she felt like a hypocrite.
“Don’t worry, I’m not Tyler. I’m not giving you a hard time, promise. It was a little surprising when I heard about it, though, ’cause you didn’t seem like the kind of girl who would get mixed up with those guys.”
“I’m not,” Maddy said, her eyes flashing. “Nothing happened. And it’s over now. He was . . .” She trailed off.
“A jerk?” Ethan offered. Maddy looked at him, surprised. “Conceited? Arrogant? Clueless about how the real world works? Something like that?”
“. . . Yeah,” Maddy said quietly.
Ethan gave her a reassuring smile. “They’re not who you think they are, are they?”
“No.” Maddy shook her head. “They’re not.” She looked down at her shoes again. “I feel like s
uch a joke.”
“Well, I don’t think you’re a joke,” he said. “And you know what? Everyone out in that hallway is just insanely jealous. I know the girls are for sure.”
“Thanks,” she said after a moment.
“For what?”
“For . . . talking to me,” she said with a laugh. “For being there for me.”
“Anytime,” he said softly. “We should look out for each other.”
“We?” Maddy asked, a little surprised.
“We,” he said. “You think I don’t know you, Maddy, but I do. You’re like me. I’ve felt that way ever since I first ordered a burger from you at the diner. I saw you standing behind the counter watching everyone and I could just tell that you and I, we’re so much alike. You feel like an outsider too, don’t you? Like we don’t fit into this glitziness that everyone is obsessed with. Like you see the world differently than everybody else?”
“I guess so,” Maddy said, feeling, for a moment, totally understood. That was exactly it. She had never felt like she fit in. Having it said out loud—and accepted—was liberating.
Ethan gave her a playful punch on the arm. “So we gotta stick together.”
“Okay,” Maddy replied, brightening, and smiled at him. Gwen might never speak to her again, but at least she had another friend in the world.
“I hope you haven’t forgotten my party tonight. We’re going to have food, drinks, a great playlist; I promise you’ll have a good time. And no Angels. So I’ll see you there?”
She had done it again. It was so easy to give him the wrong idea. Or—was it the wrong idea? How did she feel about him? Maddy gazed into his sincere, questioning eyes. Then she looked away.
“Ethan, you’ve been really cool to me. I’ve just been through so much lately, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me right now. I think I need to spend some time alone, get caught up on school, just put this disaster of a week behind me.” She paused as his expression fell. “You understand, right?”
“Sure,” he said, smiling to disguise his disappointment. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where I’ll be.” He rose and gave her a nod. “The famous Maddy Montgomery. See you around.”
Maddy listened to the echo of his departing steps.
• • •
After classes ended, she walked alone toward the front entrance of the school—where she spotted more paparazzi waiting impatiently for her outside. They had been joined by television crews, who were attempting to interview some of the students. Maddy couldn’t believe it. It was like a nightmare from which she couldn’t wake up.
Ducking quickly out the side door of the gym, Maddy cut through the baseball field. She decided as she walked home she would go in through the back door of the house, just in case. Then she could change into her uniform and use the rear entrance of the diner, as usual. With any luck, everyone would forget all about her in a few days time. Reaching the house, she slipped around to the back as planned and let herself in without a hitch.
She tiptoed into the kitchen—and froze.
Kevin was sitting at the table, waiting for her.
“You’re not at the diner,” Maddy stated, her breath catching in her throat.
“I need to talk to you, Maddy.”
Maddy’s heart thundered in her chest. She leaned on the kitchen counter for support.
“Okay?”
Kevin let out a long sigh. “I left you a message,” he said gruffly. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried. I was . . .” Kevin trailed off, drawing a deep breath to attempt to calm himself. “The phone company called and they wanted to confirm you added a new phone to your account? And now they’re charging me for data? And unlimited calling? And all kinds of other stuff you know we can’t afford?”
Maddy stood there, silent. Her mind racing.
“What have I told you, Maddy?” he said. “Homework and emergencies. Is that not clear? And what’s this about a new phone?”
She looked at his expectant gray eyes.
“Maddy, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
How could she? How could she begin to explain any of it? Should she just tell him she had been going out with the same Angel who trashed his diner?
“I got the phone from a . . . boy. It was a gift. I’ll call the phone company and cancel it right now.”
“Is that why you’ve been acting so strange this week?” he pressed. “Breaking dishes . . . and so tired?”
Maddy let out an embarrassed breath. She didn’t know what to say. A realization seemed to wash over his face.
“I’m guessing you weren’t studying with Gwen last night, were you?”
“No,” Maddy breathed.
“You lied to me?” Kevin looked genuinely shocked at this. He looked down at the table. “You were sneaking around behind my back, lying to me.” When he looked up, Maddy was surprised to see the genuine hurt in his eyes.
“I didn’t raise you this way, Maddy.”
It was enough to raise a lump in her throat. Hot tears threatened to overspill her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Kevin,” she whispered. “It won’t happen again.”
Kevin nodded but didn’t seem entirely convinced.
“And who was this boy, anyway?” he asked, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “Some boy from school?”
“Not exactly,” she said. “But nothing happened. And it’s over now. I promise.”
Kevin’s expression softened a bit, his shoulders relaxing. “All right.”
Maddy looked out the window, out to the Angel City sign looming on the hill. She imagined it was mocking her. Mocking them both.
“You want to take the rest of the night off? I already called someone to fill in for you.”
“Sure,” Maddy said weakly. “Thanks.”
Kevin looked a little embarrassed himself now. Maddy knew these “father-daughter” things weren’t easy for him.
“Just do me a favor. I know you’re older now, but it’s . . . dangerous out there. Especially for . . . you. I mean, young girls like you. Please. Don’t walk home by yourself at night for a while, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, feeling slightly puzzled. She went over, kissed him on the cheek, and stepped silently upstairs.
Disappointing Kevin was something she rarely did, and she had forgotten how truly terrible it felt. Their modest life wasn’t much, but it was everything he had to give her. He had always provided for her, and she wasn’t even his daughter. How disrespectful had she been? Very, she decided.
She sat on her bed and pulled out the BlackBerry Miracle. Somehow she had to figure out how to cancel the thing. Then it chimed.
It was a new-blog alert.
Apparently the phones at the party had all been preprogrammed with bookmarked web pages, and, of course, the Angel blogs were among them. Maddy read the screen. It was about Jacks.
“Amid the media firestorm that broke this morning around the Angel killings and last night’s Angels Weekly Commissioning party, Jackson Godspeed released a press statement today playing down rumors ACPD has him on a list of potential targets. Jacks also emphatically denied there was anything romantic between him and the girl he brought to the party the previous night, describing her as a ‘contest winner.’” The blogger continued by declaring, “Whatever that contest is, we’d love to play!”
The tears finally came. She had made a fool of herself and betrayed or disappointed everyone she cared about. Gwen first. And now Kevin. And someone else too, a name she was startled to realize was on the list. Ethan. Maddy threw the phone on the floor. From that moment, she decided, she was going to start fresh. A new beginning. A clean slate. She was going to be the fun, social, loyal Maddy she knew she could be. She looked out the window. There was that sign again. Like a ghost. She got up and quickly drew the shade. Then she went digging for her old phone, sat at her desk, and, taking a deep breath, made a call.
Ethan picked up, sounding distracted. “Hello?”
“Eth
an, hey. It’s Maddy. From school.”
His voice immediately brightened. “Hey! Wh-what’s going on, Maddy?”
“I just wanted to say I changed my mind. I’d love to come to your party, if that’s still okay.” The line was quiet. “If not, it’s—”
“No! Of course it is!” he interrupted enthusiastically. “That would be great. You have directions?”
Maddy took them down.
“Well, see you tonight, then,” Ethan said. “I’m really looking forward to it, Maddy. I’m so glad you changed your mind.”
“Me too,” Maddy said. She thanked Ethan and hung up. That had actually felt good. Normal. She knew Ethan liked her. Would it be so terrible to not just shut everyone out? And maybe, just maybe, she liked him too.
Then she called Gwen. It rang once and went to voice mail. Still upset, Maddy thought. Well, that was fair. She listened to Gwen’s sugary greeting, thinking about what she wanted to say.
“Hey, it’s me,” she announced after the beep. “I just wanted to tell you I’m really sorry about everything. I was . . . a bad friend. I don’t even know what got into me. But I hope you know how much you mean to me, and I’m going to be at Ethan’s party tonight, so I hope I see you there. Okay. Later, girl.”
Maddy snapped the phone shut and took a deep breath. She even allowed herself to smile. Gwen would be at the party. Maddy would be able to really reconnect with her. She felt terrible about what had happened, that she had broken Gwen’s trust. From now on Maddy was going to let her friend in on everything. And no more making excuses: she could find time to hang out with her best friend and get all her homework and work at the diner done too. Even if Gwen just wanted to go look at clothes neither of them could afford or obsess over boys they couldn’t date, Maddy would find the time. What was the point of all the hard work anyway, if you didn’t keep your friends close? She was going to learn to enjoy her normal life starting tonight.
Maddy opened the desk drawer and pulled out her mother’s necklace. If there was one thing this whole experience with Jacks had given her, it had, in a strange way, brought her closer to her mother. She put the necklace on and looked at herself. Starting tonight at the party, she would somehow, some way, forget about Jackson Godspeed. She had to stop thinking about the sound of his voice, the heat of his touch, and the radiance of his presence. She had to forget about that connection she had felt between them—like a circuit—that night in the back room.
