“What kind of music do you like? You strike me as a Floyd kind of guy,” she wrote.
And this time, Ray wrote back quickly. “I love Pink Floyd. You’re talking about Pink Floyd, right? I saw Roger Waters a few years ago. I spent every dollar I had for tickets. Though I prefer David Gilmour. I wish David Gilmour would come to town.” He pressed send and then realized he wasn’t asking her anything about herself. So he quickly hammered out a follow-up. “What kind of music do you like?”
“I like Pink Floyd too. I also like REO Speedwagon. Don’t make fun of me!”
“Make fun of you? I love REO Speedwagon. Tune a Fish was one of the first albums I ever bought. I have to listen to it with headphones or my roommates make fun of me.”
Before he knew it, it was lunchtime. In their message stream was over four dozen messages and close to a thousand words. And after every few messages, Ray would find himself on her profile, staring at her pictures, trying to reassure himself that she was a real person. Though a nagging in the back of his mind kept suggesting that she was a fake account, trying to steal his credit card information or something—or maybe it was one of his roommates pulling some prank on him. Maybe they all made the account together and they’d just been waiting for Ray to match with her—no, no, that would be too much work. Mason and the guys didn’t have that kind of patience for a gag. And credit card scams don’t have this much patience either—and they certainly didn’t have this much in common with Ray.
“Add me on Facebook,” Cass finally said, giving him her full name: Cassie Mae Stevens.
Ray quickly added her on Facebook and then continued his conversation there. It was around 3:00 PM when Ray realized he was going against the advice that Mason had given him when they first moved in together. “If you really want a girl to like you, don’t message her much. Just message her, like, once every two days,” he had said. “And never message her right after she messages you. Wait at least three hours, and keep your message short. You want her to feel like you don’t need her. That’s what drives women crazy.” But Ray couldn’t fathom the idea of not messaging Cass—if she was willing to chat with him all daylong, why would he pass up that opportunity?
Ray was on the bus home when Cass messaged him, “Want to meet up for a coffee or something?” Ray smiled. Not only did he land a date with a beautiful woman, he officially had a point for the week of Fuckeries. There was a good chance that he wouldn’t have to buy beer for everyone for the twenty-first week in a row (or was it the twenty-second week in a row?).
“Sure! I just need to shower and then I’m free. Where do you want to meet?” he asked.
She sent him the address of a place across town, in a seemingly random faraway suburb. But Ray wasn’t about to question her choice. He wasn’t going to turn down a date with the hottest girl that had ever talked to him—assuming she was even real. Assuming she wasn’t just his buddies trying to pull a prank on him, or some girl trying to collect the credit card information of desperate men like Ray.
CHAPTER IV
Ray felt like an idiot when he walked up to that café almost an hour early for his date. He was always early for his dates, always worried that if he was even a few minutes late, he would offend his date and lose his opportunity. He definitely didn’t want to lose his opportunity with Cass, assuming she was real.
When he walked in, he was shocked to see her sitting by the window, already sipping a coffee. She looked at him and smiled and his heart began to throb and stutter. He walked over slowly, watching her closely, looking around to make sure his roommates weren’t all sitting in the café, waiting to prank him somehow. But the place was empty and quiet, and Cass was truly real. “Hey,” she said. She had a nice voice, with a bit of rasp, but not too much. “You came.”
“I did,” Ray said, nodding his head. His body suddenly felt cold. He tried to remember if he’d ever talked to a woman as beautiful as Cass before, but he couldn’t think of any examples—not even a casual conversation. “Did you think I wouldn’t?” he asked.
“I don’t know what I thought,” she said. Strangely, her cheeks were red as if she was shy or embarrassed. But what did she have to be shy or embarrassed about? Surely, with her looks, she should have been nothing but confident. “Have a seat. Or do you want to get a coffee first? They make a really nice London Fog here.”
“Okay, I’ll get that,” Ray said, turning towards the counter. “I’ll be right back.” He felt like a rusty robot while he walked, his joints stiff and his heart pounding loudly as if against a sheet of tin. He walked up to the counter, ordered a London Fog even though he had no idea what that was, and then he walked over to the little waiting area. He looked back at Cass and saw that she was smiling at him. He returned the smile and then looked away. He couldn’t figure out what was happening. There must have been some kind of catch. Beautiful women were never interested in Ray.
“One London Fog,” said the barista.
“Thanks,’ Ray said, taking the drink. He was almost too afraid to go back to Cass, to sit with her and talk in person. He was worried he would be too shy to talk as openly as he had been on the Tinder app. He was worried that he would just end up sitting with an awkward smile on his face until Cass realized what a big mistake she was making. But he had to try. If he played his cards right, maybe he could feel her amazing lips against his—and maybe he could get an extra point for the week.
He settled in across from the beautiful blonde. “So—do you like coffee?” he asked.
She giggled. She had a cute giggle. “I like coffee,” she said. “Though it sometimes makes me jittery—”
“—Me too,” he said. And then he realized he’s just cut her off before she was finished saying whatever it was she had to say. “Sorry—go on.”
She giggled again. “That was it,” she said. “So what are you doing on Tinder?”
“What am I doing on Tinder? I, uh—I guess the same thing as everyone else.”
“Trying to get laid?” she asked with a laugh.
And then he felt his face turn dark red. “No—Just trying to meet people. I’m not just trying to get laid, I swear to God.”
She laughed. “I’m just kidding. Calm down.” She smiled, melting Ray’s heart just a little bit.
There was a long silence, and then Ray just couldn’t take it any longer. “I’m sorry, but what do you see in me? Do you actually want to be out with me, or was I just convenient?” He bit down on his tongue, regretting every single word that just came out from his mouth. “I mean, not that I think that you think that—I just can’t figure it out. A girl like you—you have so much going for you—and then there’s me. Look at me. I mean—I like me. I’m perfectly fine with myself. But I just don’t understand why a girl like you…” He cut himself off as he realized he was talking in circles, and Cass wasn’t even paying full attention. She was laughing with red cheeks, as if she thought the strange outburst was cute.
“Just relax,” she said. “Try not to think so much about it. Try your drink—you’ll like it.”
So he sipped his drink and he did like it, though he still didn’t know what it was. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that—you’re very pretty, and I’ll admit it: I don’t go on a lot of dates with pretty girls.”
“Do you go on a lot of dates with ugly girls?” She let another one of those little giggles slip. “And I didn’t realize we were on a date. Is that what this is?”
“I’m sorry—I just meant meet up—I don’t meet up with a lot of pretty girls. And no, I don’t meet up with ugly girls either, I just—”
“I’m just kidding around. Tell me more about that Roger Waters show you went to. I wanted to go but I didn’t have enough money.”
So Ray went on and told Cass all about the show. Then they talked more about music, then about movies, and then they just started talking about life. Ray discovered that Cass was working on her pre-law. She was hoping to become an environmental lawyer, even though she knew they di
dn’t make a lot of money, even after so many years in school. Then the conversation became even more personal as Cass began to tell Ray about how she hadn’t spoken to her family in a few years. “Why not?” Ray asked.
Cass laughed. “I’m sure you can guess,” she said, looking down at the table. Ray couldn’t guess, though he didn’t want to push that topic any further. It was clearly a sore spot, and Ray wanted to keep their little date upbeat—if it was even a date. He wanted to keep that smile on her face. He wanted her to remember laughing and having fun once the date was over—he didn’t want her to remember getting depressed and upset.
“We should do this again sometime,” Ray said with hopefulness pounding in his chest.
“I’d love that,” she said with a big smile. And that smile looked genuine. It didn’t look like it was filled with pity or derangement or desperation. She really liked Ray. Maybe, for once, Ray was catching a break. “What about next week?” she said.
“How’s about Friday?” Ray said. He couldn’t wait a week—if he waited a week, then he would lose another week of Fuckeries. He needed to fast track his new relationship with Cass so that he could have a shot at beating Mason for the first time in his life. It would be nice to have someone else buy the booze. It would be nice to have someone else clean Ray’s bed sheets and underwear. All he needed was one little break—and Cass was quite possibly that break.
“Friday could work. Let me check my work schedule and then I’ll get back to you.” She stood up and grabbed her purse. “I should be going,” she said.
He sprung to his feet and reached out his hand. “It was great meeting you.”
She looked down at his hand and snickered. Then she took a step forward and hugged him. He felt her soft breasts pressing against his chest, and he caught a strong whiff of her amazing perfume. She really was too beautiful for him. There really must have been some sort of catch.
CHAPTER V
To Ray’s shock, Cass was free on Friday and she was willing to meet up again, despite Ray’s awkward outbursts during their coffee date. Not only was she willing to meet up, but they spent the whole week texting back and forth. Days went by quickly as Ray sat behind that art-framing counter, waiting for customers. By the end of the week, his neck was sore from constantly staring down at the screen of his phone. But it didn’t matter—it was all worth it. A little crick in the neck was absolutely worth a potential relationship with a beautiful woman, and the potential winning of Fuckeries.
He made sure to pick up a good case of beer before they met up at the pier, not too far from where Ray met with Veronica. The date plan was the same: casually chat with Cass while getting her drunker and drunker. Hopefully, she would end up putting out, and hopefully she wouldn’t notice Ray sneakily pulling out his phone to get the proof he needed for victory.
Once again, Ray was early, and once again, Cass was early too. The sun was still setting when they hugged on that pier. “Nice to see you,” she said.
“Nice to see you too,” Ray said. His voice cracked slightly and his heart stuttered. He found himself just as nervous as he was during the last date, even though they’d spent the entire week talking and now they were much more familiar with one another. “I brought beer—I hope that’s okay. Do you like beer?”
She looked at the beer and nodded her head slowly. “I can drink it,” she said.
“Sorry—what should I have gotten instead, for future reference?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Beer is fine.”
Something seemed off with her. She wasn’t acting as bubbly and she wasn’t giggling. They started chatting, but Ray couldn’t help but notice that she had something on her mind, something teasing her conscious. “Everything okay?” Ray asked when he noticed her gaze turning inward while h talked.
“Huh? With me?” She asked. She forced a smile. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Everything’s great. This beer is good.” She took a long sip from her beer.
“Why don’t you tell me one thing that I don’t know about you?” Ray asked. He got the question from a website that afternoon: ‘Ten questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going’.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. What do you want to know?”
“Anything,” Ray said. “What’s the first thing that comes to mind?”
“Well, I guess you don’t know that I really like sushi,” she said with a big smile.
“You told me that yesterday,” Ray said. “Give me something juicier than sushi.”
“Juicy?” she asked.
“You know—something exciting. Something other people maybe don’t know about you. Something you maybe don’t want me to know until our, like, tenth date.”
Her face started turning red, as if she had something very juicy.
“C’mon—out with it,” Ray said, laughing. The beer was helping him relax. He found himself inching closer and closer to Cass, getting closer and closer to the smell of that amazing perfume.
“Why don’t you tell me something,” she said. “So I know how juicy to go with my answer.”
And then Ray found himself frozen and nervous. Would he tell her the truth, or would he just give her some lame answer? He took a deep breath. Only one secret came to his mind: his virginity. He was embarrassed by it, being twenty-two and all, but he could think of nothing else. And he didn’t necessarily want to start the relationship off with a lie, if it even was a relationship. He opened his mouth but couldn’t push the words out. Then he remembered the game of Fuckeries—maybe he could tell her about that. Fuckeries was a secret, and maybe if she knew about it, she would help him win. Maybe it would be a good way into her panties—or maybe it would be a complete turn off; that was more likely. If he made the mistake of telling her that he was just trying to score points in a stupid sex game, she would probably dump the rest of her beer on his head before storming off embarrassed and angry. “I’m a virgin,” he said, feeling like it was the better of the two options. He regretted saying it as soon as the words were off of his tongue. He felt his face turning dark red.
Her eyes lit up, and it looked like she was fighting back the urge to smile. Now he was regretting the admission even more. “Really?” she said.
“I don’t know,” Ray said, trying to backtrack. “Maybe. Maybe I’m lying.”
“Well are you lying, or is it the truth? Because I’m not telling you anything unless I know for sure.”
Ray bit down hard on his tongue. He felt like such an idiot. “It’s true,” he said as his gut turned and groaned. He forced a smile and could feel all of his blood rushing into his cheeks.
“Well, I think that’s nice. It’s refreshing,” she said, taking a long sip from her can of beer. But she still had that smirk on her face. Ray tried his best to pretend like he couldn’t see it.
He took a sip from his own beer. “So what’s your secret? What can you tell me that will compete with what I told you?” He looked over at her and saw that she was looking down at the ground, silent once again, still afraid to spit out whatever embarrassing fact she was hiding.
“I’m a virgin too,” she said.
“No you aren’t,” Ray said. And then he saw that she wasn’t laughing. “Are you really?”
“I am. Why don’t you believe me?”
Ray shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. You’re so pretty. I mean look at me—it makes sense that I’m a virgin. But you? You can have it whenever you want, you know what I mean?”
“Can I?” she asked, grinning again. It was nice to see that little smile return to her face.
“Believe me—you can,” Ray said. And then he looked away awkwardly, realizing how creepy he just sounded. He prayed that Cass wouldn’t find his comment as creepy as he found it. The night became silent. Ray looked out at the water, which now looked black as the sun had disappeared completely beneath the horizon.
“It’s pretty—even when you can’t see anything,” Cass said.
Ray nodded his head.
She was right, even though it seemed like an oxymoron. “It really is pretty,” he said.
And then suddenly, her hand was in his. He wasn’t sure if he had grabbed it or if she had put it there. But it didn’t matter. It felt nice. Her hand was soft and warm and comforting. He tried to think of the last time he held a girl’s hand. It had been years, not since high school, or maybe even junior high school. It was such a simple pleasure.
He looked over and saw that she was looking into his eyes. Did she want a kiss? He leaned forward slightly and saw that her eyes were beginning to close. She was ready for the kiss. But he didn’t have his camera out. How was he going to prove it without a picture? He thought about grabbing it, but he didn’t want to kill the mood. He was going to have to get another picture later. He leaned in all the way and kissed her on the lips. Her lips were soft and they seemed to melt against his like warm butter. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and explored around until it found his tongue. And then his hands slipped around her soft, precious body.
He was kissing a beautiful woman, and she wasn’t even drunk. She was only on her second beer—or was it her first? And she didn’t smell like booze when he met with her. She wasn’t swaying or slurring her words. Had Ray ever kissed a sober girl before? If he had, she certainly wasn’t as beautiful as the girl he was kissing now. He put a hand on her thigh. She put her hand on top of his, as if to stop it from travelling any further upwards. “I wasn’t trying to touch you between the legs,” he said suddenly, breaking away from the kiss. “I just put my hand there—I don’t even know why.”
“Just relax,” she said, and then she laughed and then leaned forward again, continuing the kiss. It was nice, and it went on for the next thirty minutes: casually kissing, locking tongues. Their bodies were pressed close together, and at one point she even let him squeeze her tit. It was soft and squishy and the first tit he ever squeezed in his life.
Big Hard Girls Page 47
