by L A Cotton
“God, Kaiden, it feels…”
“Yeah, I know.”
We moved together, chasing some invisible high. Sweat coated my skin as he kissed and touched and loved me.
“Do you have any idea how wild it drives me knowing that I’m the only one to feel you like this… so tight, so perfect for me.” Kaiden licked my mouth, kissing me deep as he circled his hips, slowing the pace and giving me a chance to catch my breath.
“I love you,” I whispered. I’d imagined this moment but nothing, nothing came close to the feel of him sliding in and out of me.
“I love you. So fucking much.” He crashed his mouth down on mine, curling his tongue around my own, drowning out my moans as an intense wave of pleasure began to build inside of me.
“More,” I breathed, pulling him closer. Needing to feel every single part of him pressed against every single part of me.
Our kisses were frantic, our touches desperate.
“I need to go faster,” he whispered against the corner of my mouth, and I nodded.
My hand fisted the sheet as he took me higher. “Kaiden, I can’t… God…”
“Come for me,” he groaned. “I need you to—”
The wave hit, crashing over me with such force I cried out his name, my body shuddering around him.
“Fuck, Lily. Fuuuuck,” he came hard, jerking inside of me.
I loved the feel of him. His weight pressing me into the mattress, his smooth skin bare against mine. Having sex with Kaiden was definitely my new favorite thing.
“What?” He eased back to look at me.
“When can we do that again?” I grinned and his laughter fanned my face.
“We’ll be doing a lot of that,” Kaiden brushed his nose over mine, kissing me. “But I might need ten minutes to catch my breath.”
“Ten minutes?” Desire pulsed through me as I curled my fingers into his damp skin, and he chuckled again.
“There’s something else,” he said.
“There is?”
Kaiden rolled off me and lay on his side, staring at me intently. “So remember how I told you the scouts from Alabama came to see me?”
“Of course I remember.”
“Well, they weren’t the only ones.” My brows knitted, and his hand smoothed over my waist, pulling me onto my side too. “Penn State wants me, Lily. They want me to play for the Nittany Lions.”
“But I thought you wanted Bama?”
“I do… I mean, I did… Until I met you.”
“What are you saying?” Blood roared in my ears as I tried to process his words.
“Penn State is only two hours away. If you decide to stay at home, or go to Temple or Pittsburgh, we’ll be close enough to—”
“Kaiden, wait a minute.” I blinked, certain I had misheard him. “You can’t give up Alabama, it’s your dream. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.”
“Yeah, but things change, Lily. I changed. I love football, I will always love football. But I love you too. And choosing between you and football is not a choice I’m willing to make. Penn State is a good program with a good team. And Coach thinks I stand a good shot there.”
“You talked to my dad about this?”
“Yeah, but he didn’t know about us then.”
“Maybe you should think about it. It’s a big decision. I don’t want—”
“Ssh.” He touched his thumb to my lips. “I want this, Lily. I want you. A future… with you.”
“You’re sure?” Disbelief spread through me, tinged with relief. I didn’t want Kaiden to go off to Alabama next fall. Of course I didn’t. But I also didn’t want to be the reason he gave up his dreams.
“One-hundred-percent.” He slid his fingers under my jaw, bringing my face to his. “I love you, Lily. And I still have a whole heap of firsts I want to claim.”
“Yeah?” I smiled against his lips, happiness bursting inside me.
“Yeah. I want them all.” Kaiden kissed me softly. “Every single one.”
Epilogue
A month later…
Kaiden
“I’m proud of you, son. Real fucking proud.” Coach Ford pulled me in for a hug. I was aware of everyone watching us, of Lily watching us. But I didn’t flinch as I accepted Coach’s praise.
It was hard to believe that almost three months ago, this man was the enemy. The guy who held my future in the palm of his hand. Now, thanks to his connections and guidance, my future was set.
I’d committed early to the Nittany Lions.
“Thanks, Coach,” I said, pulling away. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He gripped my shoulder and stared me right in the eye. “Yeah, you could. You did good, Kaiden. Real fucking good. Penn State and the playoffs. It’s a good day, son.”
“Mr. Ford,” Mom’s voice gave me pause.
“Tina, please call me Jason.” He stepped aside to greet her. “I’m glad you could join us.”
“You have a lovely home.” Mom smiled but there was a sadness behind her eyes.
“Thank you. Was there something you needed?”
“I wanted to say thank you. For everything. It hasn’t been easy the last few weeks…”
“Hey, Mom.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to me. “It’s going to be okay.”
My old man had finally gone into rehab. After that day, when he found out about me and Lily, something changed. I didn’t know if it was the threat of losing Mom, or the realization that he’d broken her spirit that snapped him out of it. But he finally agreed.
Coach and his wife had been right there, helping us every step of the way. It wasn’t easy, and I knew Mom felt like she was betraying Dad to some degree, but things were better.
And she loved Lily.
The two of them had hit it off like old friends, and there was nothing more I enjoyed than watching the two people I loved most in the world talk about everything and nothing.
Lily came over, slipping under my arm. “Hey, Dad. Tina.” She smiled. “Can I steal him for a second?”
“Of course. But we eat soon, so be—fuck.” Coach grumbled. “That’s not… I didn’t… No sneaking off. Remember the rules, Lily.”
“Sure thing, Dad.” Her laughter wrapped around me like silk as she led me across the yard, past all of her friends and her family, and the rest of the team. Nobody paid us any attention, used to us sneaking off to be alone.
My girl was insatiable. After that amazing night at Bryan’s house, Homecoming 2.0, Lily wanted it all the damn time. I didn’t blame her, I did too. I couldn’t touch her without it leading to more. Which was a slight problem given how much time we spent over at her house.
If her dad knew how many times I’d made his daughter come while he and his wife were downstairs, he’d kick my ass, but Lily was worth it.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked as we reached the edge of her property. It was surrounded by trees, giving us plenty of privacy.
“I got you something,” she said, her eyes twinkling with love.
“You did, huh?” I snagged her around the waist, pulling her into my chest. Her hands went to my shoulders as she gazed up at me. “Does it include you on your knees, those pretty pink lips wrapped around my—”
“You are so bad.” She swatted my chest.
“Me?” I cocked a brow. “That’s not what you were saying when I had my fingers deep inside you this morning when your dad called you on the phone.” Her eyes darkened with lust, and I glided my hand down her spine, gently squeezing her ass. “If we’re quick, we can—”
“Sorry, hot shot football player. But this is your day. Everyone’s expecting you to make an appearance.” Lily pecked me on the cheek. “But later…”
“You’re no fun.” I pouted.
“I wanted to give you this.” She produced a small pouch and handed it to me.
“What is it?”
“Open it and see. I hope you like it.”
I released the tie and tipped out t
he contents in my hand. The silver chain glinted in the sunlight. Smoothing my fingers over the dog tag and little football charm, I leaned in to inspect the engravings, but Lily beat me to it.
“It’s your number, and on the back, it says play hard, fight hard, love hard… It was my dad’s mantra back in the day. I thought…”
“Lily, I fucking love it.” I slipped it over my head, feeling my throat go dry.
“There’s a tiny inscription on the football too,” she added. “It’s our initials.”
“I love it.” I curved my hand around the back of her neck. “I love you.”
“I’m so proud of you, Kaiden.”
Our lips met in a soft kiss but heat soon flooded me as I pressed Lily’s body harder against mine. “Are you sure we don’t have—”
“Thatcher, I suggest you put my daughter down and get over here,” Coach Ford boomed across the yard.
Touching my head to hers, I let out a small sigh. “Nine months,” I whispered. “Nine months until we don’t have to worry about him or anyone else.”
“I’m not in yet,” Lily said.
“They’ll say yes. They’d be fools not to.”
Lily had finally sent her college applications a couple of weeks ago. Penn State, Temple University, and Pittsburgh. I was praying she got into Penn, but we’d make it work wherever she went. Because this, her, it wasn’t some fleeting crush. It was real.
“I love you, Kaiden.” She ran a hand through my hair, kissing me.
“I love you—”
“Let’s go, QB,” Coach yelled, and I released an exasperated breath. “Your dad is a cockblocker.”
“Don’t tell him that.” She snickered as we walked hand in hand back to the party. It was seniors night, and Coach and his wife were hosting an informal dinner.
Coach Ford glared at me as we rejoined the crowd, but Monroe intercepted us.
“What the fuck do you want?” I sneered. He’d been back at school a couple of weeks, and although he couldn’t practice with the team, he was around a lot. For the most part, we ignored each other. But not tonight, apparently.
“I come in peace.” He held up his hand, the other arm still in a sling. “Can we talk?” His eyes went to Lily.
“Whatever you have to say, you can say to both of us.”
She pressed her hand against my stomach in support and warning.
“Look, I know things were rough between us at the beginning of the semester, but I was wrong about you. There I said it.” His lips pursed.
“Wow, you managed to get the words out without choking on them.”
“Kaiden,” Lily scolded, pinching my waist.
“It’s okay, Lily. I can admit when I’m an asshole… and I was, an asshole, I mean. You’re the better player, man. Even if things hadn’t gone the way they did, you deserved a shot.”
I gave him a sharp nod. “Is that all?”
“Yeah, I guess. My season with the team is over. They’re your team now, and well, I just wanted to say good luck, for the playoffs.” He held out his one good hand and I gawked at it. Surely, he didn’t expect me to shake it.
“Kaiden.” Lily nudged.
“Only for you,” I mouthed at her before grabbing his hand and shaking it. “But this doesn’t mean we’re friends, yeah?”
“Yeah, got it,” Monroe grumbled, stalking off.
“Did you have to be so mean?” Lily slipped around my body, pressing her hands against my chest and gazing up at me.
“The guy’s a douchebag.” I shrugged.
“I know but imagine how hard it was for him to do that.”
My eyes flickered over to Coach, who was watching us. “I think your dad probably agrees with you.”
“Well, of course he does, silly.” Lily leaned up, kissing me.
“Don’t worry about Jase,” Mr. Bennet said, clapping me on the back. “He remembers what he was like at your age. He and Fee were wild—”
“Oh God,” Lily balked, stepping away from me. “I didn’t… I can’t…” Her eyes crinkled. “I’ll be over there, away from all the talk of my parents doing it.” She squeezed my hand before taking off toward her friends.
“She’s different, you know?” Aaron’s dad gave me a pointed look. “You’re good for her.”
“Did you know?” I asked him, thinking back to the times we hung out at his house.
“I suspected something, yeah.”
“And you didn’t tell Coach?”
“Why the fuck would I do that? Jase is… he’s one of the best guys I know. But sometimes he cares too damn much. Lily isn’t a kid anymore. She needs room to grow and figure out her place in the world. But I did tell him that maybe he had you all wrong.”
“You did?” I gawked at him.
“You’re not your old man, Kaiden. By the sounds of it, he lost his way a long time ago. And I know that’s got to suck. But you have a new family now. I’m not saying we’ll ever replace your father, that’s not what this is. But we’re here for you, son. If you ever need anything… an ear, a place to stay, or just a place to hang, our door is always open.”
“Thank you, I don’t know what to say.”
“You say, ‘sounds good, Ash,’ and we’ll leave it there.”
“Sounds good, Mr. B—” He arched a brow and I chuckled. “Ash. Thank you.”
He gave me a sharp nod and headed over to the grill where Coach was surrounded by a big plume of smoke.
“What did he want?” Lily came back over, wrapping her arms around me.
“Oh, you know, to welcome me to the family.” I didn’t expect the lump in my throat, but the words caught there.
People said you didn’t know what you’d lost until it was gone, but I’d never had it in the first place. My father had been checked out too long for me to know the support and guidance of a good man. But Coach Ford and Aaron’s dad and Ashleigh’s dad, they were real men. The kind of men who got shit done. Their acceptance and respect was more than I could have hoped for.
“He’s right, you know,” Lily gazed up at me.
“Is he?”
“Yeah. You’re stuck with us now, Kaiden. You’re stuck with me.”
Well fuck.
That didn’t seem like a bad place to be at all.
Lily
“Hey are you okay?” I asked Peyton as we entered school. She was quieter than usual lately.
“Yeah, it’s just… she’s my mom, but she can be a real fucking bitch sometimes.” She inhaled a ragged breath; but then in true Peyton style, plastered on the biggest, fakest smile she could muster. “Don’t worry about me, babe. I’m fine.”
But then something caught her eye over my shoulder and her whole demeanor shifted.
“What is it?” I turned slowly to come face to face with none other than Lindsey Filmer. “Oh,” I said.
“Oh?” Peyton hissed. “I can’t believe they let her back here.”
“She paid her dues, Pey,” I said.
After the events of Homecoming, Lindsey had been suspended indefinitely, while the school board figured out what to do with her. They decided to grant her permission to return, much to my parents’ disbelief, but I was determined not to let it worry me.
Which was exactly what I’d told Dad when I overheard him planning to pay the Filmers a visit. I loved that he wanted to protect me, but he couldn’t always be the one to fight my battles, sometimes I had to face them head-on.
“A suspension and some lame educational program for sexting is not paying her dues.”
“They kicked her off the squad, Peyton, and she’ll have to attend weekly sessions with Mrs. B.” I’d heard Dad tell my mom. “And it’s on her permanent record. It could affect her college applications.”
For a girl who cared more about reputation and social status than a moral conscience, it seemed like justice had been served.
Besides, I got the one thing she wanted and could never have.
She slowly approached us, hesitating. “Lily,” she
said, and I settled my gaze on her.
“Yes?”
“I… I just wanted to say—”
Kaiden caught my eye over her shoulder, and my smile lifted. Lindsey saw it, glancing down the hall, gasping as he walked right up to me and kissed me. I slid my hands up his chest, kissing him back with everything that I had.
I wasn’t weak little Lily Ford anymore.
I was brave and courageous and happy.
I was so freaking happy.
“Good morning, girlfriend,” Kaiden said, loud enough for Lindsey to hear. Maybe it was petty, to stoop to her level, but I didn’t care.
She had spent so long belittling me with her cruel words and callous actions. Making me feel unworthy and different.
The truth was, I was different.
And it was a gift.
I still had my bad days, the days when my mind was the enemy, making me question and doubt things. But I owned them. And with the help of Kaiden, and my family, and therapist, I could finally recognize my mental health disorders for what they were.
A part of me but not the whole of me.
“Hi, boyfriend.” I grinned up at him, Lindsey long forgotten.
Until Peyton blurted, “Holy crap, that was so fucking good. You should have seen her face.”
But it didn’t matter.
She didn’t matter.
“Anyway, I’ll leave you two love birds to it. I have an appointment with Mrs. B. Yay me.” She took off down the hall, and I frowned.
“You’re worried?” Kaiden asked.
“Yeah.” I let out a thin breath. “She’s hurting and I don’t know how to help her.”
“Is her mom still clean?”
“As far as I know. Peyton hasn’t said anything. And the social worker visits them. My dad made sure of it.”
“It’s probably hard for her.” He hugged me tighter. “Staying with your family and then having to go back there and realize everything she’s missing out on.”
A strange expression crossed his face, and my heart sank. “Kaiden, I’m sorry—”
