by Coulton, JC
One morning, I woke up and April was here with me, passed out on the other bed. She was unconscious and sick; and so thin. She wouldn’t wake up. I couldn’t really stay awake myself. It was a nightmare that came to life. When I woke up again after the drugs wore off, she was gone.
Yesterday I found this notebook. It belonged to another girl that they took. Her name was Sarah, and the first logs in this notebook are from her. I’m saddened about what happened to her and her friend Lucy. I’m also inspired, and determined to find a way to escape, so their stories can finally be told. In addition this account, Sarah left us some things. A pink feather, a nail file and an earring. You can read the first part of this journal to find out what they mean.
Right now, I am scared. I just heard them say I’m going be sent out to work the streets soon; probably tonight. They say I’m ready. That must mean that my tactic of not resisting the drugs is working, or maybe I am truly broken and I just don’t know it yet.
I made a list of my observations at the back of this book. It has everything I know about Neon’s thugs. If you’re reading this, please add to the list with the things you find out about them. Sarah started the list and I want it to go on. We need to keep building a case, even if both Sarah and I are no longer writing.
Thoughts of what could have happened to Sarah are with me constantly. I don’t know what happens when you go insane here. Lucy was killed, but if Sarah didn’t protest too much, maybe she was just abandoned, left somewhere to be found by someone else. Or he may be dead…
I don’t know why they never brought April back to this room. I don’t know if Blake is responsible for this or not. A part of me doesn’t believe it’s possible. But right now, I don’t trust anyone. I don’t know if I’m going to die tonight. I hope I will be writing again tomorrow. If not, this is goodbye.
I take a huge breath. It’s a start. I loosen my grip on the pen and put the book down. At least there’s a chance that one day, someone might hear my story. I look up at the ceiling for a second, and wonder what I’ll be facing out there tonight.
I can’t imagine Blake is involved. How could a man who seems so sweet be wrapped up with someone like Neon? The more I think about it, the less I believe he’s involved. He’d never have me at his home, introduce me to his nephew. Thinking about it, he’d never be such a good father figure in George’s life and then leave his home and get involved in Neon’s despicable underworld. Everything about her is toxic. There’s nothing redeeming. Maybe she was different back when he knew her.
The other thing I want to know—end eventually document in the notebook—is how many girls are in this building. The journal talks about a van full of girls coming and going from here. I haven’t heard much outside this room. I think I’d hear them if they were in other rooms. I’ve never met any other girls here. Maybe they’re extra careful about having us know about one another. Surely I’m not the only one.
I don’t know why Neon took me, but I guess it was an intentional act of revenge because I was with Blake. If she could be bothered to stalk me and then kidnap me, she must be trying to get something off Blake. It could be some sick emotional game. Who knows what that woman is up to.
Chapter 13
Blake
It’s been a week since Carrie disappeared. I’ve never been heavier with self-criticism and despair than I am now. Nothing good will come from beating myself up about the way I handled this case, but the thoughts are so loud, I can’t escape them. I’m back on the couch again, sitting with Ryan’s folder in hand, like a chump.
I’ve driven around the city for hours on end every day, and then did the same thing at night in New Jersey. And I haven’t found her. My only connection to Carrie is when I indulge in fantasies of being with her. My desire for that woman invades my thoughts night and day.
This depression is not like me at all. I’m usually all action. Frankly, it’s uncomfortable. Not officially working the case is hard for me. There’s too much time to think. I wish I could just get back to the precinct and demand to be reinstated. Anything would be better than this.
I need to get back to having a schedule and sticking to it. My time feels wasted since I left work. I need structure in my life. I’m paying the price for letting it get to this point. I decide to hit the gym. At least I can do that without worrying Jacob is watching. I’m hauling my ass up of the couch with plans to waste a couple of hours covered in sweat when the realization hits me so fast that I have to sit back down again.
I can’t just give up. I should be following Jessup. Sure, I’ve been warned not to see Neon, but if anyone asks what I’m doing on Jessup’s tail, I can always say it’s about an old case. If anyone catches me engaging in any police work at all, they’ll kick me out of the force completely. But what’s the other option? Hitting the gym and sitting here like an idiot? That’s essentially what it comes down to. Career or love. The answer is obvious. Right now I’ll do anything if it means getting Carrie back. Anything.
I get dressed and head downstairs to my car. I need to get over the Caliber, if Jessup’s still there. I want to know what he’s up to. I don’t think much about what I’m doing. Instead, I trust my instincts. There’s been something lucking at the edge of my mind; a piece has been missing this whole time, and I get the feeling Jessup Lee might be sitting on it.
I pull up outside the club and I’m rewarded with an almost instant sighting of the man. Had I shown up in the squad car, he would have seen me. Luckily, my personal car is pretty unremarkable. I breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn’t look up. He jumps into a car I haven’t seen before. It’s a four-door Audi that looks more like a family car. When he leaves, I pull into traffic behind him. It’ll be interesting to see where this trip ends up, and today, I’ve got all the time in the world.
An hour later I’m heading home with a grin on my face. I knew sooner or later something big would come to me. This time, I’m not going to fuck it up with any attempts to make a move without thinking. As I drive, everything starts to come together in my mind. I realize I’m going to need to take my time and create a plan. I can’t afford to make another mistake at this point. With only a civilian’s ability to act under the law, I’m going to need to enlist some extra help.
I get in. Brenda and George are home; I hear the little guy before I even get inside the apartment. I greet him with a hug. It’s good to see him. He grounds me, that little man. He’s ecstatically happy to see me and as usual, it makes me remember how lucky I am to have him in my life. Now, all I need is to find Carrie and things in my world will be okay again.
We chat for a bit and he tells me about his day. He’s excited to be getting his cast removed in a few days. I have to make time to take him on a surprise visit to the skateboard park when this is all over. The kid deserves some enjoyment. With all the time I’ve spent away lately, it’ll be worth it. Once I see George is get into his video games, I step outside to get some privacy. I need to see what else Ryan has found out.
“Ryan, it’s Blake. I’ve got something new.”
“Hey. What did you learn?” he asks.
“You’re not going to believe it. I can’t talk on the phone. Can you come over?” I wait while he umms and ahhs. I know he’s quite busy already and I’ve already asked a bunch of favors off the guy. As usual, he delivers.
“Okay, Blake, give me an hour and I’ll be there.”
The hour passes slowly and my mind wanders. If I go to Ryan with this type of favor, he may balk. The guy has a right to turn me down. I have to make sure I don’t pressure him. Our friendship is not something I want to put in jeopardy.
Finally, he gets here.
“Hey buddy!” He says as I let him in. He sits at one of the bar stools on Brenda’s floor.
“Hey Ryan. Want something to drink?”
“Water’s good,” he answers, and catches the bottle I throw over to him from the fridge. He grins and I sit down across from him.
“So,” I start, not wanting to
waste any time. “You know that favor we talked about?”
He nods and sips his drink.
“Well bro, I’m sorry but I have to call it in.”
“Today?” He sound a little surprised. “You must have had a busy morning.”
“I’ll tell you more later, but for now I need eyes on Neon and on Jason Cooper. Can you do it?”
He nods and drains his water. “Of course, buddy. It’s nothing.”
“Yeah? Thanks, Ryan.”
“No problem,” he answers. He looks around the place, and to be honest, he seems nervous. “I’ve gotta go now but I’ll be in touch. In the meantime, do me a solid and look after yourself.”
“I will. I’m just running some surveillance on Lee. It’s harmless. Nothing to worry about.”
“Ok bud, keep your phone on.”
With that, I walk him to the door.
“Thanks man,” I tell him.
“You’re welcome.”
I close the door and take a breath. I’m grateful for old friends and modern technology. George is still sitting contented on the couch and Brenda is in her room, so I grab my keys and slip out the door.
Finally, things are on the move. I plug my phone into the hands free kit on my visor and hit a drive through coffee shop. Who knows how long this is going to take.
Chapter 14
Ryan
It’s turning out to be another busy day. My to-do list is long and getting longer as time passes. Every task has elements—layers of analysis or additional action items. It makes it difficult to check anything off as completed. Saturdays can be like that. But it’s the reason I chose to work today—it’s quieter around here.
The lab is clean and peaceful. There’s a shift technician around somewhere for emergency processing, but otherwise it’s just me here. So I use the time to clean my office and make a dent in checking things off the list. I just left a message for Blake. I don’t know what that guy’s been up, to but I’d like to know. His picture should be in the dictionary under the word tenacity. I get the feeling he’s never going to give up on April Lee and Carrie James, even if he is fired.
He called in a favor, and I’m working on it today. But before my time gets away from me, I need to call Brenda.
“Hi Brenda,” I greet her when she answers. “It’s me, Ryan.”
“Hi Ryan. Yes, I know it’s you. But Blake’s here. I can’t talk,” She says in a whispered tone.
“I know he’s there. We just spoke.”
“Is everything okay?” She says, sounding worried.
“Yes. He’s just concerned about April Lee and Carrie James.”
“Right. That’s completely understandable.”
“Agreed. So hey, I was thinking we could have dinner again?”
“Sure,” she answered. “When were you thinking?”
“Tonight?”
“That sounds great,” she says after a long pause. “Where would you like to meet up, Ryan?”
“How about I pick you up? I’ll be taking a break at about seven pm. See you at eight, then?”
“Sounds good. Looking forward to it.”
“Me too.”
“Ryan, sorry I’ve got to go. See you then.”
Hanging up, I feel pleased. I haven’t been interested in anyone for a while. And Brenda’s special. The time seems to fly by, and soon, it’s time to get ready for my date. I even manage to get a few things crossed off the list. I grab my keys and head home. I live close by—near Central Park—so I’m home and changed in almost no time. This is good, because I know Brenda will expect me to be on time. More importantly, I like being on time.
I take a different route to Blake and Brenda’s place in Brooklyn, and when I pull in, Brenda is loading George into a minivan with a bunch of other kids. She waves and the driver of the minivan beeps cheerily. He’s off to a pajama party of some sort with other little boys his age. Neither of them sees me. I pull in pretty close to the curb and wave out the passenger window I lowered.
She doesn’t miss a step when she approaches, but she raises those eyebrows the same way Blake does. I can’t help laughing. The two of them are classic brother and sister material. They’re physically similar, and share facial expressions and body language, but in every other way, they’re different.
Brenda walks over and I get out to open the passenger side door for her. “Umm, nice car Ryan,” she says. “Let me guess, new purchase?”
“Nope,” I answer. “I’ve had this for a year or so.”
“Nice. What is it?” she asks as she sits and gets comfortable.
“A Porsche,” I tell her.
Other than my travelling, cars are the only luxury I allow myself. Yes, I’m wealthy. I just don’t flaunt it, and it’s one of the best decisions I ever made. My parents made their fortune in biotechnology when I was young, and when they acquired part ownership of a generic drugs manufacturer, it changed everything for us. It was before I turned ten, and things went crazy.
My parents were smart about bringing me into the business. They released my trust fund in the form of shares, and I decided to leave it invested. I love my choice in career. Tech analysis and evidence assessment are what I do best.
I look over at Brenda before driving off. She’s dressed in a simple but elegant black dress, with matching heels. I appreciate her style. She notices me watching and I give her a warm smile before pulling smoothly into traffic. I know this dinner is not going to be all fun and enjoyment. The meeting between us has been coming for a long time. Brenda has a bunch of stuff she needs to say. She’s been so worried about the Blake situation, we’ve had to delay meeting up more than once.
We sit in silence while I maneuver us through traffic. Eventually I pull into the restaurant parking lot. It’s a small tapas grill that I enjoy every so often, and it’s quaint enough to give us some privacy. We walk in and the waiter finds us a small table. He seats us, takes our drink orders and leaves Brenda and I alone so we can get to it.
“Have you spoken to Blake?” She asks. On instinct, I look around for a second to make sure no one’s in earshot before I answer.
“No. I didn’t say a word. The timing was wrong. With everything that’s going on, it doesn’t feel appropriate.”
She breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay good. I held off on telling him. It makes sense for you to focus on helping him with the case.”
I nod and I’m about to say something when she leans forward and look intensely at me.
“You are going to help him, aren’t you?”
“Brenda, I’m going to do everything I can. Try not to worry. Things will work out.” My tone is pretty confident but I’m banking on some of the work I put in this morning to pay off as I say it.
“I hope so,” she answers, picking up her menu. “Let’s order dinner. You can update me when you find out something new.”
I nod, and notice the waitress approaching. “Good timing.”
She arrives with our drinks and takes our food orders. Soon, our entrees arrive and we dig in.
“The food is delicious,” she says, looking up at me with those eyes I could never resist.
“It is.”
“We should come back here again.”
“We will,” I answer, reaching over the table to cover her hand with mine. “Whenever you want.”
She smiles. It’s beautiful. I just wish we could come out to Blake about us. She does too. The timing is awful, and we know he’d go nuts if he inadvertently finds out. I owe it to our friendship to have an honest conversation with him; to get it out in the open. Brenda is worth it.
I try and focus on eating and I even manage to make Brenda laugh a couple times. Her face lights up when she’s happy. It’s nice to see. We chat about her day, and things George has been up to at school. All in all it’s a pleasant meal, and doesn’t get too serious.
When the time comes I pay the bill and walk Brenda out to the car. She tells me I’m such a gentleman when I open the passenger door for
her to sit. She does that every time. It’s a short drive back to her apartment and we make it there in a comfortable silence.
I pull up to the sidewalk and she turns me to me, as if she’s about to say something. I wait but nothing comes out. She fumbles with her purse in a poorly disguised moment of anxiety. I reach out and take her hand. It’s the first truly intimate contact we’ve had today and I take it just far enough, cupping her chin and pulling her in for a brief kiss on her lips.
“It’s going to be fine, Brenda,” I say to her gently. She nods and squeezes my hand, and tells me a soft ‘goodnight’ before stepping out of the car and heading inside.
Chapter 15
Carrie
It’s happening. I feel like a prisoner being marched towards execution. I look down at myself with a grimace. My eyes feel hooded with too much eye makeup. My vision is fuzzy from the heroine they injected into me. It’s strong. So strong that I was barely able to stand as a girl I don’t recognize puts makeup on me in the shared bathroom. I want to vomit. I know I’d get in trouble if I do. The van we’re in now is too small and too many of us are cramped inside. It can’t handle the burden of such a smell amongst the cheap perfume.
Around me sit another four girls. We are all in various states of undress. Some self-adhesive, stay-up fishnet pantyhose stick out from underneath the hem of the draped blue dress I have been forced to wear. I have no underwear on. There’s a small clutch with condoms and cigarettes beside me. No one even asked me if I smoke. They just gave me the bag and told me to get in the van.
My arms throb. It feels like the veins are burning from the drugs. It’s the fear that is most present. I look around and wonder if I’ll see April tonight—that’s if she’s still alive. No one else in the van looks scared. One girl is unconscious and drooling against the back doors. She’s wearing the same dress as I am. I assume she must be the other new girl. I wish I was unconscious too.
