by Emma Vikes
He swallowed and crossed the short distance between us. Logan reached out and placed a gentle hand on my face, wiping the lone tear that rolled down with his thumb. “I honestly thought that I was merely breaking mine. I thought it was a price I had to pay for a future I had dreamed of.”
“So was I merely that to you, Logan? A price that you had to sacrifice as long as it meant that you got to reach what you always wanted?” I couldn’t help myself. It was as if his words brought out the nineteen-year-old Olivia that had been badly hurt by Logan Crewe.
“You were more than that. I was stupid, selfish and arrogant. I took you for granted and didn’t know that you were worth more than what I wanted.” Logan’s own eyes reddened, brimming with his tears. It was the first time I’d ever seen him this raw and vulnerable. “For what it’s worth, Olivia, I’m truly sorry for breaking your heart.”
I took in a sharp breath, willing myself not to crumble in front of him. I’d stayed strong for the last ten years. I would not allow Logan’s words to be my undoing.
He cupped my face in his hands, green eyes boring into mine, and he let out a soft sigh.
I’d never heard such a sigh sound so defeated.
“And for what it’s worth too, I did love you. I was just too young, so I didn’t know how to handle it.” He moved his hand to my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. The sadness in the room was palpable.
I could see it clearly in his green eyes. The way he looked at me, his gentle gaze fixed on me and the longing that continually flickered, slowly chipped at the walls I’d built. I wanted to break down in front of him and I wanted him to wrap his arms around me in comfort.
But Logan’s hands fell to his sides and he took a step back.
His retreat sent a sharp stab of pain through my heart.
“Go to sleep, Olivia.” He didn’t wish me goodnight or sweet dreams.
Retreating into his room, he left me in the middle of the hallway in the same state that he did hours earlier: distressed and confused. I gripped the cup of milk in my hand and ran upstairs, not wanting to break down where Logan could hear me. When I shut the door, I sunk on the floor, setting aside the warm milk.
Tears broke through my walls like water carried by strong currents breaking a dam. I choked on my tears, sobbing at the loss of what could’ve been but also understanding why. A part of me wished I didn’t know his reasons. Had I been in Logan’s position, I couldn’t confidently say I would’ve chosen what we had.
He was young with big dreams and ambitions. It wasn’t a sin to choose yourself at that age and it hurt me because I would’ve done the same thing. Had Logan made me choose between him and my dreams, I wouldn’t have hesitated on choosing my dreams. My dreams were there before he came into my life, just like how his dreams had been there before he met me.
Sometimes, we had to choose what’s best for us, even when the choice could break our hearts in the process.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been on the floor and at which point I fell asleep. But the warm cup of milk remained untouched and had gone cold. My body felt stiff from the position I was in. I rolled to the side, my back hitting the door, and sighed, running a hand on my face to wake me up more.
My phone continued to ring and it was what woke me up. I groaned, my hand searching on the floor first for it until I realized I must’ve set it on the nightstand. I sat up and crawled near my bed, palming for my phone until my hand closed on it. I swiped to answer the call and brought the phone to my ear. “Hello?” My voice sounded throaty and I knew it was because I’d been crying so much last night until I fell asleep.
“Miss Wilson, this is Catherine Shaw, Julija Burrow’s lawyer.”
Her introduction was enough to fully wake me up. I stood straighter and listened carefully. “Hello, Miss Shaw. To what do I owe this call?”
“I discussed something with my client last night that might interest you and be in your favor. Shall we meet for brunch?”
Glancing at the digital clock I had in my room, I noted that it was only 7 AM on a weekend. I always tried my best to lay off work for the weekend because it was something I desperately wanted to avoid. I wanted to spend the time off work with Amy but I also knew how important this case was to the firm and Logan.
We arranged to meet at Starbucks, the one near my firm. I quickly showered then got dressed. When I made my way downstairs, I noted the house was quiet. Logan was probably still asleep and Amy usually slept in during the weekend. Taking a sticky note out of my bag, I wrote a note for the two of them and stuck it on the fridge then left.
The drive took ten minutes and Starbucks seemed empty when I arrived. Ordering my coffee, I took a seat near the door. I’d seen Julija’s lawyer once when she gave me the documents they had for me to review. We had a quick interaction but I was pretty good with remembering faces so I was certain when she walked in, I would notice her.
Five minutes later, she did and I waved her over. She motioned that she had to order herself a cup and I waited.
She came straight to my table right after. “Good morning, Miss Wilson. Thank you for taking the time to see me on such short notice.”
I flashed her an easy smile. “It’s not a problem. This is an important case and if there’s anything needing to be discussed, I wouldn’t hesitate on doing so.”
Before we started, the barista called my name and called hers soon after. We were still edging in on the discussion so it wasn’t a bother.
After we sat back down, I asked, “So what would you like for us to discuss?”
Catherine took a moment of silence and then clasped her hands together. “I’ve had a lengthy discussion with Julija regarding the case. I think you will be thrilled to know the conclusion of our talk.”
I hated how she seemed to be teasing me with what it was. But I didn’t force it out of her. I kept a pleasant expression on my face even though my patience was chipping away. It was nearly 8 AM on a weekend. If she hadn’t called, I would probably still be curled in bed and sleeping in until ten in the morning.
But as I said to Catherine, the case was important and a big case for our firm to handle, given that it involved Logan Crewe. He’d made such a big name for himself‒just like he’d wanted to ‒and had gotten tangled in such a mess. Aside from that though, whatever Catherine and Julija had discussed could probably do Logan well.
They’ve dragged his name in the mud and what they’ve discussed might clean him up.
“Julija wants to settle.”
It was as if the four words were followed by trumpets and angels singing. It was a good thing I was sipping my coffee or holding the cup. I would’ve dropped it or choked on it. “Are you serious?”
Catherine smiled at me and nodded. “Yes. I think she realized the case would be such a hassle. For keeping her silence, she wants to be given twenty million.”
I choked at the amount. It wasn’t surprising for Julija to demand such a high number given that the opposing party was a billionaire. “That’s good to hear but even if it is good news, I have to discuss it with the firm and with my client. I can’t make the decision for him.”
Catherine nodded in understanding. “I fully understand that. Please let me know as soon as you can when you get an answer from Logan.”
Nodding, I gave her my word, and soon after, the two of us went our separate ways.
I called Hadfield as soon as I got in my car and relayed to him what Catherine had told me.
He was quiet on the other line and then he let out a quiet sigh. “It is good news if you look at it in one perspective but it’s not easy to agree to. Albeit, we can’t decide for Mr. Crewe, Olivia.”
I massaged my temples. “I know, sir. I’ll have to tell him the news as soon as I can.”
As soon as I can meant as soon as I arrived home and after what happened between us last night, I wasn’t entirely sure if I could face him. I ended the call with Hadfield and sighed, resting my head against the steering wheel. Julija settli
ng meant that we didn’t have to bring the case to court and it would just disappear.
The money wasn’t the issue. Logan had enough money to pay for Julija’s silence and it probably wouldn’t dent his bank account. He could afford the amount she was demanding and that would mean the media would lay off him. Logan could go back to his house and return to his normal life and we wouldn’t be in the situation we were in now.
But as I turned on the car and drove my way back home, a part of me knew what settling and paying Julija would mean to Logan. He wouldn’t get to prove his innocence and in a way, it would still give the opposing party a win.
16
Logan
The warm milk didn’t do anything to help me sleep. Instead, I was up all night until I realized that dawn was breaking and I tried my best to get even the slightest bit of sleep I could. It worked but not as much as I hoped it would. Instead, at around seven in the morning, I rolled onto my back and stared blankly at the ceiling, recounting the confession I’d made last night.
The truth had always felt pathetic to me which was why I tried to forget it. As pathetic as the excuse of saying that I’d had enough of what we had, seemed better in my books. At that time, I couldn’t fathom how much of a coward I was. My pride and ego wouldn’t accept the fact that I wasn’t man enough to be with Olivia.
I wasn’t man enough to commit myself to what I felt for her. I wasn’t man enough to love her the way she deserved to be loved.
I thought of the first time I met her and it was through Colton Monroe. He was the only friend I made at the university because we had most of our classes together. He was also the only one who didn’t befriend me because of who I was and how much money my parents had. Colton and Olivia hailed from the same hometown and I’d met her on her first day at the university.
Although Colton warned me not to get involved with Olivia. Her brothers were overprotective of her and they had called him to make sure no one broke her heart. But the more he made it clear to me that she was off-limits, the more I became smitten.
“Why are you in such a rush?” I complained as I tried to catch up with Colton. I had a feeling that if I didn’t tag along with him, he would’ve run around the campus. It was our first day back and I wasn’t as eager as he was to be in the hallowed hall of learning again.
Then Colton came to a sudden stop. We were at the University Park by then and I was a little winded from the distance we ran. Students milled around the park, catching up with each other from the summer break we had. Then there were fresh faces, the young ones just entering college. You could pluck them out of the crowd because of the anxious look on their face.
Then a girl spotted us and enthusiastically waved in our direction. I tilted my head to the side, studying her. Colton moved but I stopped him. “Dude, I don’t remember her. Did I meet her at a party?”
Colton looked at me, slightly annoyed. “Not all girls are waving at you, Logan. She’s someone from my hometown and I’m the only familiar face she has in the university.”
My eyebrows rose in curiosity at this. Colton never mentioned this to me during the break. I eyed her. She was young and fresh out of high school. Her brown hair cascaded in curls down her back and her hazel eyes shone brightly despite the distance between us. She didn’t cake her face with makeup, unlike the other girls.
She had an air of confidence around her and the bright smile on her face caught my attention. “I like what I see.”
Colton glared at me. “She’s off-limits, Logan. Her brothers will skin me alive if I let you anywhere near her. I’d very much like to live to see another day and not die because you can’t keep it in your pants.”
I ignored Colton’s statement and followed him as he approached her. She hugged him and Colton ruffled her hair affectionately like an older brother would. I cleared my throat and my friend let out an annoyed sigh. “Liv, this is my friend, Logan Crew. Logan, I’d like you to meet the brightest mind I’ve ever met, Olivia Wilson.”
Then she had been behind me that one day at the coffee machine. When I saw it was her, I’d refused to move. I could not believe she didn’t seem to member me. How could a girl not remember me?
Colton had regretted introducing us to each other because I wouldn’t stop asking about her. I would also tag along each time I found out that he was going to meet her. But although Colton regretted introducing us, the fact that Olivia wasn’t interested in me gave him relief.
But the more she gave me the cold shoulder and ignored me, the more I gravitated towards her. It was the first time for a girl not to be interested in my advances. Most girls were easily taken by my charm. All it took was one smile and the right words then they were mine in a snap. But Olivia was different.
She remained indifferent.
She was in the library, pouring over a thick textbook.
“Coffee?” I offered to her in a whisper as I wanted to make it up to her for the little run in we’d had at the coffee machine.
She was majoring in political science for her pre-law and was a regular in the library since she’d enrolled in the university. It was clear that Olivia was focused on finishing college with flying colors and girls like that didn’t want a distraction.
“No, thank you,” Olivia responded politely.
I pursed my lips. I took out a book from my bag and feigned to study. I tapped my pen against the table unconsciously, a habit I’d always had since high school.
Olivia let out a soft sigh and I could tell by the look on her face that she was slightly annoyed.
I didn’t stop.
She slammed her pen against the textbook and glared at me. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Logan?”
Her voice was in a loud whisper and other students glanced our way.
I flashed her a winning smile. “I’m studying.”
Her hazel eyes fluttered on the book I had pulled out. “I don’t think any professor in this university will make an exam about how much you know about Archie Andrews.”
I glanced at the book on the table and pursed my lips at the image of Archie Andrews staring back at me. But instead of feeling embarrassed at that fact, I gave her another charming smile. “Maybe I could get a tip from my boy Archie. It seems like I’m losing my touch because I can’t get you.”
Olivia looked at me, amusement dancing in her hazel eyes.
For a moment, I was lost in the trance of how beautiful she was. I’d been with many beautiful women before but none of them could compare to how ethereal Olivia’s beauty was for me.
Then, her eyes fluttered to something behind me and a small smile played on her lips. She closed her textbook and repacked her things in her bag.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
Olivia glanced at me as she pushed her chair back and stood. She smirked and shrugged. “On a date with someone, I’m interested in.”
Admittedly, her rejections left my ego badly bruised. It didn’t sit well with me that she didn’t like me and was interested in someone else. I’d gotten used to how easily I could get women and the fact that I could barely get Olivia to spare me a minute bothered me to no end. But the more she pushed me away, the more I was pulled in.
I continued to pursue her. No matter how many rejections it took, I didn’t stop. It was during a rainy day on campus when she finally agreed to go out with me. She didn’t have an umbrella and I happened to pass by, so I asked her if she wanted a ride. If she rejected it, she would have to endure a run under the rain to get to her apartment.
Rather than taking her straight to her apartment, I drove her to the nearest restaurant and treated her to an early dinner. I think I’d worn her down by then ‒or maybe she was starving‒ because she agreed. From then on, Olivia didn’t reject my advances and hung out with me.
The more I spent time with her, the more I fell in love with her. To my relief, I wasn’t the only one. It was on our fifth date when Olivia allowed me to kiss her. Well, she kissed me but it didn’t sit well with
my pride, so I kept twisting that around. She never minded though.
As our relationship progressed, my feelings for her grew. She took care of me each time I was sick. She endured all my other crap and stood by my side. No matter how many times people told her that I would break her heart in the end, Olivia chose to stay. She chose to stay because she was in love with me.
I’d never had anyone love me like her.
I’d also never loved anyone like I loved her. I was willing to move mountains and cross oceans if it meant that I could stay by her side. I was deeply, irrevocably, and undeniable in love with Olivia Wilson and it scared me.
“Why don’t you just get yourself that necklace?” I asked Olivia. We went downtown for a date and she found this lovely necklace in a shop when I was looking for cufflinks. “Babe, you deserve it. Think of it as a reward for yourself for studying hard for the exams.”
I offered to buy her the necklace but before I could make the purchase, Olivia already dragged me out. She told me I didn’t need to buy it for her, so I thought she wanted to buy it for herself but she declined that too.
She turned to look at me and flashed me a wry smile. We were already outside her building. “We can reward ourselves with other things, Logan. Besides, it’s not like you reward yourself with anything.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at that. I pulled her closer to me and then smoothed her hair with my hand gently. “I could have anything in the world because of my parents’ money but the only way I can treat myself is when I spend time with you. When I eat with you and have coffee with you and even the times I’m forced to read a book in the library as long as it means I get to be with you. You’re my treat, Liv.”
Her eyes shone with what I said and she placed her hand gingerly on my neck. “I love you.”
. It was as if the rest of the world faded into the background and all I could see was her. All that mattered was her. I smiled, lost in her hazel eyes. “Me too. I love you too.”
