by Louise Hall
She looked as if she wanted to pre-warn them about something. She caught Cate’s eye and jerked her head to the left.
Cate felt as if the breath had been forced from her lungs. Jenna was sat at one of the tables with her new boyfriend, a reserve team footballer with Aston Villa. It was the 1st time she’d seen the woman who’d sucked her husband’s cock and sold her story to the tabloids since that night at Revenge over a year ago. She could still remember the horrified look on Jenna’s face when Cate’s friend, Vanessa had “accidentally” spilled red wine all down the back of Jenna’s expensive white dress.
“Are you OK?” The hostess asked kindly.
Cate was grateful for the tip-off, “thank you.”
After being apart for months, she’d forgiven Kian for what he’d done that night but she didn’t think that she would ever forget; the shard would always be there.
Kian followed his wife’s gaze and saw Jenna. He wrapped his arm protectively around Cate.
“I’m OK,” Cate said quietly. She didn’t want to cause a scene. She turned back to the hostess, “we’re not going to be seated too near them, are we?”
“No,” the hostess returned Cate’s smile. “You’re upstairs.”
Cate followed the hostess to their table, feeling Kian’s hand pressed against the small of her back.
“I’m sorry,” Kian said softly. He was so thankful that she’d eventually forgiven him for his indiscretion with Jenna.
“So you keep saying,” Cate muttered, picking up her menu. The trouble was that it wasn’t enough, not this time. She couldn’t wait for Sara and Yoakey to join them.
Fortunately, it wasn’t long before they arrived. The waiter came across and took their drinks orders. “Just a mineral water, please,” Sara asked.
Cate raised her eyebrows. Sara loved champagne and if she wasn’t drinking, it could only mean one thing… “Are you…?”
Sara nodded, giggling. “That’s fantastic,” Cate beamed. She quickly pushed her chair back and stood up so that she could give her friend a proper hug.
“What’s going on?” Kian asked, looking up from his menu.
“Sara’s pregnant again,” Yoakey grinned.
During the meal, Kian put his hand on Cate’s knee. It was something he’d done a thousand times before; he liked to anchor himself with the feel of her soft flesh beneath his fingertips and the warmth which emanated even through her trousers. But tonight, without even looking at him, she reached down and carefully removed his hand and placed it back on his own leg.
As much as he enjoyed spending time with Yoakey and Sara, that particular night he couldn’t wait for the meal to be over. While Cate and Sara chatted about their children, Lola and Noah, who were a similar age, Yoakey tried to engage Kian in conversation about one of their ex England team-mates, who’d recently confessed to the tabloids that he was on the verge of bankruptcy because of his gambling addiction.
“What do you reckon?” Yoakey gave him a nudge.
“What?” Kian hadn’t been listening. He was tortured by the subtle scent of his wife’s perfume. It made him want to sweep her glossy, black hair to one side and kiss the tempting hollow of her throat; to feel her skin so warm and soft against his lips and tongue.
Cate might have been sat next to him but it felt like she was a million miles away. The last twenty four hours had deeply unsettled him.
After she’d gone to her mum’s to pick up Lola, Cate had made sure that they weren’t alone again until after they’d dropped Lola off at her friend’s Emily’s house on the way to Fiore.
He’d asked Cate the previous day, if she hadn’t been going to have an abortion, why was she even at that clinic? She’d refused to answer, kneeing him in the bollocks instead. But she wasn’t going to distract him again. As soon as they were alone again, he was determined to find out what was really going on.
CHAPTER 5
Kian steered the Range Rover into the underground car park of a high-rise apartment building in Salford Quays. At the entrance, he rolled down the window, keyed in the code and the thick metal gates slid effortlessly back, allowing them entry.
“What are we doing here?” Cate asked, speaking to him for the 1st time since they’d left Sara and Yoakey outside Fiore.
“We need to talk,” was all Kian would say. He parked in the space marked “89” and cut the engine.
He got out and walked around the front of the Range Rover to open Cate’s door. As if he’d chosen his clothes just for her, he was wearing a sharp black suit and her favourite slate grey shirt – it reminded Cate of what he’d been wearing when they’d kissed for the first time on Christmas Eve all those years ago.
With his hand on the small of her back, he guided her across the car park to the lifts at the far side.
The car park was deserted; the only sounds were Cate’s heels tapping on the concrete.
Kian removed a black, plastic card from inside his jacket pocket and swiped it through the machine inside the lift. The doors closed and the lift began to move straight away, making Cate almost dizzy.
When the doors opened again, Kian led her down the short corridor.
He swiped the black card again and the door swung open, revealing an empty apartment. Cate stepped inside, her heels click-clacking on the polished wooden floors. In front of her were floor to ceiling windows with incredible views of the Manchester skyline. She felt Kian’s hands on her shoulders and he gently slipped off her coat, draping it over one of the bar stools in the open-plan kitchen.
“Why have you brought me here?” Cate asked, walking towards the windows. She looked down at the Quays which glittered below them.
“It’s ours,” he explained.
Cate turned angrily to face him, “you bought an apartment without even telling me?”
She reached for her coat but Kian was quicker; he put his hands on the kitchen counter on either side, caging her in.
“We’ve always owned it. It’s part of our property portfolio.” He took a step closer. Cate could feel the heat of him through her thin blouse. “Until a week ago, it was rented out.”
“Why have you brought me here, Kian?”
His dark eyes burned into hers. “I want the truth.”
Cate shook her head, “I’ve told you the truth. I’m pregnant. Do you want me to take another test to prove it to you?”
“Why were you at the clinic yesterday?”
She dropped her eyes, “I told you, I had an appointment.”
Kian gently tilted her head back, forcing her to look at him, “if you weren’t going to have… Why did you have an appointment there?”
Cate’s black eyes flashed with anger. “I can’t believe you still think….”
She fought him but he was stronger, keeping her pinned between his body and the kitchen counter. “Tell me.”
“Fine,” Cate huffed. “Two days ago when I took Lola to Dr Holborn for her vaccinations, I didn’t even think that I might be pregnant. I’ve always been really careful about taking the pill. I’d been sick that morning but it passed quickly so I thought it was just something I’d eaten. Dr Holborn asked if I was OK and Lo told her that I’d been sick. She said she wanted to check me over just in case. I told her I couldn’t be pregnant but she thought that I should do the test anyway. When the results came back and she told me I was pregnant, I…”
Cate dug her fingernails into her palms, “I blacked out.”
“Cate,” Kian grunted.
She looked up at him, seeing the worry line etched between his eyebrows. “I’m OK, physically at least. It was just a panic attack.”
“You’ve had them before?”
She nodded. That had been the worst yet but she’d been having them off and on since she was in the latter months of her pregnancy with Lola. “Dr Holborn suggested that I talk to somebody about them. She thought… she thought that they might get worse now that I’m...”
“…because you’re pregnant again?” Kian asked gently.
>
Cate nodded. “Dr India Green, that’s her name. She thinks that she might be able to help me. Her office is in the same building as the clinic.” She gestured to her handbag, which was on one of the bar stools. “Her card’s in my purse.”
“I don’t need to look,” Kian shook his head. He could feel her trembling against him. “I believe you.”
Kian took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe what he was about to say. He thought about Yoakey and how overjoyed he was that Sara was expecting again. He wanted that. He knew it was selfish but he wanted this baby, this part of him and Cate.
“We have options…” He thought about what she’d said, that she’d panicked so badly when she’d found out that she was pregnant again that she’d blacked out. If she really felt like that, he couldn’t make her go through with the pregnancy. Cate and Lola were everything to him.
“Kian,” Cate looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears. “I want our baby.”
“But I thought…”
“Look at me,” she pushed her fingers through his hair, bringing his face level with hers. “I want this baby, Kian. I do. It doesn’t mean that I’m not terrified but that’s why I’m going to see Dr Green.”
“I want it too,” Kian growled. He turned her around so she had her back to him. He brushed her hair to one side and pressed his lips against the side of her neck. Cate whimpered a little, her skin breaking out in goose bumps. He slid a hand over her hip, pressing his palm flat against her abdomen. “I want us to live here.”
“What?” Ignoring her protests, Kian pressed her against the counter with his hips, using his free hand to tug down the collar of her blouse so he could nibble on the soft skin between her neck and shoulder.
“I want us to live here,” his voice was deliciously low and gravelly.
“We’ve got a home,” Cate felt him thicken against her bottom.
“In the middle of nowhere,” Kian replied, rocking his hips against her. “Can we stop talking about this?”
“We can’t solve our problems with sex.” Cate gripped the edge of the counter. She felt an ache deep in her pelvis.
“Why the fuck not?” Kian turned her around to face him. Her inky-black hair was blown straight and it felt like silk as he slid his fingers through it. He cradled the back of her head, pressing his forehead against hers. Their lips were so close that he could almost taste her with every breath.
“What you accused me of…” Cate felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She slid her hands between them, covering her stomach. “You thought I had an A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N without telling you?”
“I was wrong,” Kian said solemnly. He looked at his wife spelling out the word and covering her abdomen so that their baby couldn’t hear the word.
“I’m sorry. I could tell you that a thousand times but it would just be words.” He took her lips, trying to convey with his kisses everything he felt.
Without breaking apart, he lifted her up so she was sat on the kitchen counter. “I love you,” Kian looked deep into her big, black eyes. He kissed along her jawline. Pressing a hand against her bottom he slid her almost to the edge of the counter until she was flush against him.
Cate wrapped her legs around his waist. “Kian…”
Kian tilted her head back so he could kiss her exposed throat. “Let me take care of you, Cate.”
He kissed down her neck and she shifted uncomfortably on the kitchen counter. A tiny bead of sweat lingered in the dip above her collarbone. As Kian bent to lick it, he undid the loose black, silk bow at the front of her blouse. Exposing more of her soft skin, he nibbled on her collarbone. “Wait,” Cate put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back a little.
When he looked up at her, his eyes were dark with lust. “Don’t tell me you don’t want this?”
“No,” Cate panted, struggling to catch her breath. “I do, it’s just… I took my piercings out. They were too sore.” Kian looked down at her nipples, poking stiffly through her blouse. As she watched on, he slid his hand slowly up from her waist, over her ribs to the swell of her breast.
“Oh,” she jerked as Kian cupped her breast and lightly brushed his thumb over her aching nipple.
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed,” Cate chewed her bottom lip.
Kian chuckled, “you know I’m fucking crazy about your tits, with or without the piercings.”
He gently unbuttoned the front of her blouse, letting it fall open. “Fuck,” Kian grunted. Underneath, Cate was wearing a white, lace demi-bra, which only just covered her nipples; he could see a hint of dusky-pink peeking above the cups.
Pushing the blouse down her arms, he tossed it to the floor. Kian kissed along her shoulders, teasing down the straps of her bra and then reached behind her back, stroking her warm skin before undoing the clasp.
As her bra fell away, he looked at her bare breasts, seeing them without the tiny silver barbells for the first time in a year. “As if I could ever be disappointed, angel.”
Cradling the back of her head, Kian slid his other hand under her bottom and held her against him. Carrying her through to the bedroom was agonising, he could feel her soft, bare flesh and stiff, rosy peaks rubbing against the front of his shirt.
He flung back the covers and laid his half-naked wife down in the centre of the mattress, her inky-black hair spilling out around her.
“Where did this bed come from?” Cate asked. Apart from the bar stools in the kitchen, it was the only other piece of furniture in the apartment.
Kian knelt above her, stealing another kiss. “It was delivered this morning; it’s the same make as our bed at home.”
“You really want us to live here… oh!” Cate’s thoughts trailed off as Kian pressed her breasts together and buried his face, licking the crevice between them.
“I could stay here all night,” he grinned, kissing up the soft flesh of her right breast. “What do you think?” he traced his finger over the puckered skin around her nipple.
Cate wriggled underneath him, “don’t tease me.”
Later, as she climaxed for the second time, she buried her face in his hot, muscular chest; he could feel her softly panting against his bare skin. As she fell back on the mattress, exhausted, her intimate walls still rippling around him, she was aware that he hadn’t found his own release yet.
“So beautiful,” Kian said, kissing her damp forehead.
Cate blinked open her eyes; the smoke was just starting to clear from them. “Take your pleasure from me.”
She stroked her delicate fingers down his sweaty chest and down further until she was touching where their bodies fused together. “I want to feel you.”
“This isn’t about me,” Kian said, gritting his teeth.
“It’s about us,” Cate said softly, “I know you’re sorry.”
Kian knelt back on his heels, lifting Cate so only her shoulders were still on the mattress. He thrust into her hungrily, breaking free of the restraints he’d imposed on himself.
After he’d found his release, he lay back on the mattress, dripping with sweat and out of breath. He reached for Cate, wrapping her around him. “What do you think about living here, angel?”
“I don’t know,” Cate said softly, kissing his pec. “What about Lola’s school?”
“It’s driveable.” Kian stroked his fingers through her tangled hair. “After what you told me yesterday, I don’t want to be so far away from everything.”
He slid down and pressed his lips against Cate’s abdomen, “if we lived here, it’s only a five-minute drive to the hospital.”
Cate tugged his head back so he had to look at her, “I love you.”
“I love you too, angel.” He stood up and scooped her up off the bed.
“No,” Cate protested, “haven’t you heard of a little thing called sleep, it’s nice?”
He carried her into the en-suite bathroom and ran the shower. “No sleeping tonight, angel,” Kian chuckled. “I’ve got a lot of making up to do.”
He stepped into the shower first and brought Cate in front of him, blocking her from the full power of the spray. “Turn around.”
Cate closed her eyes. It was impossible to stay angry with him when he kissed and caressed every inch of her skin with such reverence, proving to her over and over again how sorry he was for the horrible accusations he’d made against her.
As he gently washed her tender breasts, he pressed up against her and she felt his erection nudge against the small of her back. “You’re insatiable,” she teased, rolling her eyes.
Kian stroked his hand over her stomach, “you want the baby, don’t you?”
Cate didn’t even have to think, “of course I do.”
She turned her head to face him. He had a line of worry between his eyebrows again. “It terrifies me, thinking about what happened last time…” She felt Kian’s grip on her tighten and entwined her fingers with his. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t already love him. It’s a part of you and me, how could I not?”
Kian raised an eyebrow, “you said him?”
“I think this one’s a boy,” Cate grinned. “You knew Lola was going to be a girl, it’s my turn.”
“When I saw you coming out of that clinic,” Kian said, burying his face in the curve between her neck and shoulder. “Even when I thought that you’d had an…”
“Careful,” Cate warned.
“An A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N, I didn’t once think that you’d done it because you didn’t want it. I thought that there might be something wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong,” Cate said softly, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “If there was, I’d tell you. I’m not that girl anymore.”
“I know.”
CHAPTER 6
The next morning, Cate woke up upside down on the bed with Kian’s head nestled between her breasts. There was an annoying buzzing coming from the floor. “Kian,” she nudged him but he was sleeping soundly. She thought about trying to get out from underneath him but (1) she was too comfy and (2) she was sore in all kinds of weird and wonderful places this morning. Even her hair follicles were hurting. “Kian,” she tried again. The buzzing was getting louder.
