Dixon shifted beside me and I felt him toss a glance in my direction. I didn’t care what he thought. My bear said that he was mine and the human girl needed to keep her hands off. With that thought, I looked more closely at Brandt. Still just as handsome as ever, he hadn’t changed at all. And even though the slight gray under his eyes revealed the stress, I couldn’t remember why I ever wanted to leave. Tall, muscular, manly. A suit that hugged every curve of his defined muscles. Eyes that looked more animal than human. And a face that put every man in this room to shame.
Dixon flared his nostrils, trying to clear the scent. My scent no doubt. I knew what attraction smelled like and I knew my bear was giving off the pheromones as freely as she had in the past. “Yeah,” he said with a small cough to hide his laugh, “you definitely need to stay longer.”
I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t. The pull I felt right now had never been so intense. My bear growled, low and controlled. She wanted her mate back. And she wanted him now.
“Easy there,” Dixon said, a command in his throat that my bear understood.
I hadn’t looked at him yet—I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Brandt. I felt the wetness in them, threatening to run down my cheeks. I didn’t care. He tried to walk away from the woman, but she was persistent, touching and prodding to see just how far she could take it. As though she’d forgotten we were at a funeral, she took every opportunity she had to get Brandt’s attention focused on her. And when she reached up to hug him, I made a small noise in the back of my throat.
At that instant, Brandt looked up and met my gaze. His eyes widened at first and then went back to their regular state of curiosity. My heart pounded against my ribs and as he gently pushed the woman away and started walking toward me, my knees threatened to give out.
“I’ll give you two some space,” Dixon said and turned on his heel. But he stopped his departure and shot a nasty glare at me. “Don’t run away again.”
Between Brandt’s impending approach and Dixon’s obvious doubt of my character, I felt as big as an ant right now. I knew I’d messed things up and now I had to face the truth. And that truth was encompassed by a six foot five grizzly shifter whom I’d never stopped loving and who had almost reached my side.
I’d known she was here the moment she arrived. Her scent called to me like no other yet I’d hid in the hallway for as long as I could, waiting to decide how to handle it. Emma was here. My Emma.
And I had no idea how I felt about that.
When I finally saw her up on the landing, time stopped. The sounds of condolences, laughter, and memories of those who knew my father disappeared into a background hum. The pathetic human woman trying to get me to go out for coffee was nothing more than a nuance. Almost a year had passed, yet Emma could still stop my heart. Deep inside, my bear came alive again. Not because I’d given him time to hunt the other night, but because his mate had returned.
We’d both sensed her arousal before our eyes met. She may have run away from her obligations, but time and distance couldn’t stop nature. Since we’d acknowledged each other as mates ten years earlier at seventeen, the human in us had no choice but to accept each other. Had Emma come to this realization? Is that why she was here now? Did she know how much I needed her?
I walked around those wanting to pay their respects, although I’d only met most of them once or twice in my life. One of the faults of my father was that he kept his alpha affairs only between him and a small group of insiders. Me and my brothers were not part of that, and now I was paying the price by trying to sort out several family business and dozens of clan investments.
Emma stood still, lips parted, eyes wet, and pheromones wafting through the room. Thankfully there were only a handful of shifters here right now and I assumed they’d all have enough respect to stay silent about our reunion. Everyone knew that Emma had crushed me when she left. She’d hurt us all. But I could feel the stares as they watched and waited to see how I was going to handle it.
The dark blue dress highlighted her auburn hair and light blue eyes. Damn if she didn’t look even more beautiful today than the day she left. My bear rumbled in content, letting me know that he was happy again. I tried to shut him up, understanding that just because she was here now, didn’t mean she was going to stay.
Plus, I was still angry with her.
She’d given me no reason for her sudden departure and had cut off all contact so I couldn’t even ask why. She’d put me through hell, and I had to remind myself of that as I reached her side and breathed in the wonderful aroma that called only to me.
“Hi Brandt,” she said with a shaky voice.
Dixon still waited in the corner, ears turned in our direction. I wondered if he’d had something to do with her being here right now. When I watched him though, he didn’t give me any indication. Dixon always had the best poker face. “Emma.”
She shifted on her feet and pursed her lips. The tears had almost spilled over. “I’m so sorry about your dad.”
When her words hitched in her throat both me and my bear knew that she was about to cry—and I couldn’t stand there and do nothing. Lifting my arms, I invited her in. Was a making a mistake? Probably. But I needed to hold her right now and let her know that I wanted to have this contact.
She rushed into my arms, wrapping them around my waist and pressing her head against my chest. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed, her head bouncing underneath my chin where I’d rested it. I held her tight. My bear wanted even more. He smelled her, sensed her, and knew that we were whole again. If only it could all be that simple. It was the human side in us that complicated things, not the animal.
I brushed my hand through her hair over and over to try and soothe her. While I had no doubt that some of these tears were for my father, I also knew some of them were for us. “When did you get here?”
She stayed tightly against my chest and squeezed my waist even harder. My blood came alive under her touch. “Today.”
“And when do you leave?” I didn’t want to know the answer but my bear made me ask.
She shook her head and shrugged. Never uttering a word.
“Are you here tonight?” I asked with caution.
Emma pulled back and looked up at me. Her aquamarine eyes captured me with their magic and every part of my body wanted to claim her all over again. Right now. “I am.” She sucked in a quick breath when my fingers grazed the bare skin on her arm.
I tried to focus. “Then you should come to the moksha. He would have expected that.” The second I said the word expected, I flinched. I’d suspected part of the reason she’d left us was because of all the things she’d been expected to do for our clan now and in the future. Emma had never wanted her life planned out for her, but on the day my dad took in two orphaned cubs, he’d laid out her path with us, with me.
But Emma didn’t react to my words. Instead, she reached up and rested her hand against my cheek. I froze, trying to enjoy the sensation and remember it for when she walked away again. “If you think I should be there, I will.”
I grabbed her hand and weaved my fingers through hers. We stood still, watching each other for a few more seconds and then turning around to scan the crowd. Three different groups of CEOs, lawyers, and investment bankers made eye contact with me. I sighed, not wanting to hide anything from Emma. “Here we go again.”
Following my gaze, she squeezed my hand quickly. “Has it been like this all week?”
I nodded and rubbed my hands over my eyes. “Nonstop.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Shocked by her offer, I didn’t know how to respond. My bear wanted her to be by my side always. She was my mate and she made me stronger. But I needed to be cautious and I needed to make sure that she was here to stay before she left and ripped my heart out again. “No, not right now.”
The first woman of the lawyer group stepped up onto the landing and held out her hand. “My condolences, Mr. Callaghan.”
&
nbsp; I shook it and wrapped my arm around Emma’s back. “Just excuse me for one moment.”
The woman looked at Emma and immediately dropped her gaze. Humans knew when to trust their instincts even if they didn’t believe shifters like us existed. Pulling Emma a few steps away, I felt like I needed to say something else just so I didn’t have to part with her yet. “The moksha starts at ten. Do you remember where?” We’d performed these ceremonies in the same place on our land for generations. Emma had attended a few through the years.
She nudged my shoulder. “Of course I do.” Her slight grin cracked through the first layer of hurt. How could I withstand her now? She’d always held a power over me, even if I was still mad at her. “I’m sorry but I have to meet with these…people again. My father had his hands in a lot of places and sorting it all out has been hell.”
Emma lifted on her toes and kissed my cheek. My bear begged for more. “I understand,” she whispered.
Turning my head, I stopped myself from diving into her lips. They looked so warm and inviting, glistening in the sunlight coming through the windows. I wanted her—all over again like the first time we’d mated. My gaze glanced down to her cleavage. It was modestly hidden yet I knew what lay underneath that dress. Curves and muscles and…woman. She bit her lip the moment she smelled my reaction. Dixon cleared his throat from the corner.
“I…I have to go,” I finally managed to say. Stepping away from the physical hurt in my chest. Now that she was here, I didn’t want her out of my sight. Yet if I told her any of this, I was sure I’d scare her away back into the life she’d found outside of Alaska.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said, the pained look on her face surely mirroring my own.
“Okay,” I turned but then stopped as I remembered something important. “Your room is still available if you want to stay here.” With a small smile, I signaled that I was all right with that. It had always been our room, even when we were teenagers sneaking around to find places to be together. Then as adults, when everyone treated us like a mated pair.
I hadn’t stayed in there for many months now. The first few weeks after she left, I couldn’t keep myself away. But then the pain had been too much and I had to start pushing that part of my life aside, knowing that I would never see her again.
“Thank you,” Emma said as I turned.
She’d only whispered it but knew I would hear. The lawyers and bankers were on me in an instant. Bombarding me with questions and directing me to the conference room area my dad had also added to this house. Their words jumbled together in a mix of terms, my mind unable to comprehend everything right now when thoughts of Emma clogged all of the space.
“Can I see you for a minute?” Brennan cutting in to the chatter of my entourage was a welcomed sound.
“Please go on in and I’ll be right there,” I said, ushering the group into the conference room and closing the door behind them. “Are you here to rescue me?” I joked half-heartedly.
“Do you need me in there?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. No, you need to get ready for tonight.”
“I put Bo in charge of food.”
We were both silent for a minute and then I laughed. “Yeah, that seems like a good choice. And something he can’t mess up.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Brennan grumbled. Then he brought up the subject I knew he really wanted to talk about. “I saw Emma.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“You okay?”
I loved my brother for being so in tuned to me sometimes. “I will be.”
“Is she coming tonight?” There was a clipped edge to his voice but I wasn’t sure if he would actually disapprove.
“I’ve invited her.”
Brennan ground his jaw together, biting back some kind of comment. “Well, don’t forget. You need to be there first. Before Joshua or Dixon or anyone else who might challenge you for alpha. You need to be the leader. Don’t let her get in the way.”
He wasn’t saying it to be mean, just practical. Brennan could be very robotic at times and that was a great skill for him to have. I would stress, Bo would party, and Brennan would plan.
“I understand.” As much as I wanted to show up tonight hand in hand with Emma, I couldn’t. She’d left me and that showed weakness and right now, I couldn’t show any weakness if I was going to fill my father’s role in this clan. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Brennan, in a rare form of affection, hugged me tightly. Our family was close but we weren’t emotional. That all started after our mom died when Bo was born. I guess I hadn’t realized how tough this must be on Brennan too. After all, it was his father as well and planning a funeral for a parent couldn’t have been easy. With a slap on my back, Brennan let go and walked away.
I watched him leave, stalling as long as I could before facing another round of paperwork and discovery. With a quick glance back at the remaining guests, my heart sank when I didn’t see Emma. Brennan was right about me not having her by my side tonight but that didn’t mean I didn’t like it. Perhaps I could stop by her room later and we could talk some more. Or do other things that both the man and animal were craving right now.
No, I couldn’t. Not yet anyway. Not until she explained herself. So with a sigh, I pushed open the door and entered into the human part of the world my father left behind.
I’d waited for the knock on my door all afternoon and into the evening. Surely someone was going to stop by. And even though I’d wanted it to be Brandt, I would have settled for Bo or even, god forbid, Dixon. Loneliness seeped into my bones again as the hours ticked by without a single word being exchanged.
Bo had been right—the room was still set up the same way it had been when I’d left. We had one of the bedrooms on the bottom floor. A suite complete with its own fireplace, bathroom, small office area, and a deck leading right into a trail that we could take down to the bay. Even the king sized log-framed bed couldn’t dwarf the space. I’d always loved this room. As a child I’d claim it when me and my brother would sleep over.
The thought of Mark ripped a new hole in my chest. He’d been killed a year before I left. And I suppose if I’d ever analyzed my actions, I would find that his death had been the beginning of my discomfort with the clan. They hadn’t played a role—he’d been drunk and stupid and got into a knife fight at a bar. They told me he’d died before he even hit the ground but I’d always blamed Blaze a little bit for not finding the men who did it. And for not allowing me to hunt them down. He’d ordered me to stay out of it and my bear was forced to obey. But my human heart never forgave him for that.
I paced the room, wondering if I should go find someone or just stay hidden from the questions that would inevitably come my way. After a few hours of this, both me and my bear grew restless and decided that we would leave early and take the long trail through the forest to get to the celebration site. I didn’t want to change in front of everyone this evening, but I still donned a set of clothes appropriate for a night in the woods. Grabbing a sweatshirt at the last minute, I snuck out through the bedroom door and disappeared into the pines.
It was June, summer in Alaska and my favorite time of year. This meant that everything was green and all of the animals were out foraging and storing for the upcoming winter. And although it was dark outside, my shifter senses kicked in and allowed me to see better than most humans. I caught the scent of an elk and heard the cry of a wolf in the distance. I’d missed the sounds of our friends and once again hadn’t realized how much until now.
I sensed the clan gathering not far from where I was walking. I didn’t want to be one of the first ones there and I definitely planned on slipping in unnoticed. The glow of the fire highlighted the forest in a plethora of dancing shadows. Fresh meat on the grill sent my stomach into growls. And the pheromones in the air called my bear to the surface.
Tonight’s moksha would be the first I’ve attended in ten years. We didn’t have one for my brother�
��another reason why I’d been upset with Blaze. A moksha wasn’t required for all clan members, but the celebration must take place each time a higher ranking one dies. The idea is based in Hindu beliefs but is found in many shifter communities. It gives the person the freedom to move on yet allows the clan members to retain some of the knowledge or power left behind by the deceased. Personally, I’ve never enjoyed this part of our culture. I didn’t like celebrating someone’s death. It was always easier for me to just keep moving forward and try to forget the pain.
A branch snapped behind me and I turned in a crouch, scanning the darkness for the intruder. Instead I heard a laugh. A big, burly, honest laugh that had me smiling as well. “You can come out now, Bo,” I said.
“I could never sneak up on you, Emma.” He jumped in front of my face and wrapped me in another giant hug. “You’re lighter. Have you worked out since you left?”
I loved how Bo just glossed over the part about me leaving. “I hike every day.”
“But no weight training?” He squeezed my bicep for emphasis.
“No time.”
“Well, you need to get back on top of that if Brandt’s going to be alpha. He’ll need a strong partner on his arm.”
I dropped my head, too overwhelmed to speak. My attraction to Brandt was undeniable but I couldn’t stay here. Too much had happened and now that Brandt would be fighting for his position it meant that the politics would only get worse.
Obeying the Bear: BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance (The Callaghan Clan Book 1) Page 3
