“How’s your back?” she whispered.
She’d been devastated when I’d been shot, and even more devastated to know that it could’ve been preventable if her ex hadn’t been such a dumbass.
But that wasn’t her fault, and despite what I told her, she still beat herself up about it.
“Perfectly fine,” I told her. “Didn’t twinge at all today.”
She sighed. “Your grandmother told me that you hide your pain well. She told me this story about you breaking your arm, and they didn’t know about it for three days because you wanted to play in your peewee league championship bowl.”
I paused, smiling at that memory.
“Yeah, I did kind of do that,” I admitted.
She smacked my arm playfully.
“She’s coming back tomorrow for dinner. I invited Tyler and Reagan back, as well as Linc and Wade,” she continued.
My grandmother had returned into my life, and so far, I was really enjoying having her back.
After she’d learned that Izzy was back, things returned to our new normal.
We weren’t super easy around each other yet, but we were getting there.
My parents were still a no-go, but that was to be expected.
Tyler and I had also mended fences…again.
Now we were all just one big, happy family.
“Wade came by,” she confided as I cuddled into her deeper.
The belly that rested against my abdominals rolled, and I found myself smiling.
This wasn’t something that I got to experience with Tara, and I found myself longing to have had that part of Matias.
Each day was a struggle.
Each day, I remembered yet another thing that I missed about my baby boy, and I had no doubt that it would continue on like that forever.
Matias had marked me, for better and for worse, and nothing would ever be the same again.
Izzy made it better, though.
Even when she wasn’t trying to.
Like now, the simple, peaceful feeling of her resting here against me, our baby nestled safely in her body between us, meant the world to me.
She just made me better.
“Did he tell you the news?” I asked.
“What news?” she murmured sleepily.
“That he got his job back,” I murmured. “Desk duty, but he’s back. Until they’re sure about his leg, they’re not going to give him anything more. He’s pissed.”
“Rightfully so,” she agreed. “And his wife—I can’t believe they’re still married—is doing okay, too. She finally got control of her hand again, I saw her flipping Wade off with that hand today.”
We both had a chuckle at that.
“Do you think that they’re going to get back together?” she whispered hopefully.
I doubted it.
“Those two fight like cats and dogs.” I yawned. “I highly doubt they’ll ever get back to what they used to be.”
And I hated that for Wade, because despite the tough guy act he put on, he really was in love with his wife.
“I also saw Linc today,” she continued. “He said that they’re done for the season. He seemed really bummed about it.”
I snorted. “Linc made twenty-five million dollars on a two-year contract just a few days ago. Trust me when I say he’s not sad. Though, it sucks that they didn’t go all the way this time. I was really hoping they would earn another Super Bowl ring.”
“Means more pick-up games since they don’t have to worry about getting hurt.”
I felt something deep in my chest take off at that.
She got me.
She knew what I loved and encouraged me every day to continue to do the things that made me happy. Like hanging out with my MC brothers, playing pick-up games with my football family, or working even though I didn’t have to. If it made me happy, and those things did, Izzy was all for it and the first one pushing me out the door to do it.
Though all of those things paled in comparison to spending my days being lazy with her.
“When are you going to marry me, anyway?” I teased, brushing my lips against her brow.
She snorted. “When I’m not hugely pregnant and can walk down the aisle without waddling.”
And I was okay with that.
As long as she promised me forever, I didn’t care when we got there, as long as she was at my side.
Epilogue
Today, I’m going to give it my some.
-Coffee Cup
Rome
“Ma’am,” the doctor tried to interrupt Izzy’s screaming. “Are you allergic to anything?”
When Izzy did nothing but grunt and scream, I turned and said, “She’s allergic to Penicillin.”
“And penises!” Izzy screamed. “Penicillin and penises!”
The doctor’s lips twitched, but he didn’t say a word.
“You are not allergic to penises, you big cooter face,” Reagan snapped. “You’re such a lying slutbag.”
Izzy flipped her off. “Look where the last one got me!” She turned her head so that she could glare at me. “This is all your fault.”
I bit my lip, unsure what to say to that. Or if anything said at this point in time would come out as soothing, or just annoying.
The doctor was not Izzy’s normal doctor. Izzy’s normal doctor had a heart attack two days ago, leaving both Izzy and I scrambling to find a suitable replacement.
In the end, we hadn’t found anyone.
Not because we hadn’t wanted to, but because our child had decided that three weeks before his or her due date was a perfect time to come, making us both lose control.
Me, because Izzy was slightly freaking out, and Izzy because she was so damn scared that something bad was going to happen to this baby, too.
Though she hadn’t voiced those words.
She was putting on a strong front, but it was more than obvious that she was scared to death, even if she smiled through the fear.
The doctor gestured for me to move toward the hallway. I stepped out of the room to join him.
“We’re going to have to take her in for an emergency cesarean,” the doctor explained quickly and quietly. “The baby’s heartbeat isn’t good. The decelerations are very concerning. We need your consent, though.”
I felt tears, the stupid traitorous bastards, sting my eyes.
“Anything,” I said. “Anything you need, do it. Make sure that they’re okay.”
The doctor slapped me on the shoulder.
“We’ll make sure they’re safe, Rome,” he promised. “I know this is stressful, but you need to be on your game. You need to be the strong one…because she’s already freaking out.”
I was glad that this particular doctor was there today.
We’d met with him twice, but not because we were looking for him as a doctor, but because we’d gone in twice over Izzy being alarmed that the baby hadn’t moved in a few hours, and the particular doctor was the on-call one that was there to see any patients that showed unexpectedly.
“I’m good,” I told him, lying through my teeth.
I wasn’t good. In fact, I was freaking out right along with my wife.
And yes, I do mean wife.
Last week, Izzy had surprised me.
She’d shown up, dressed so cutely, demanding to be married before she had my baby, that I hadn’t been able to refuse.
Which led us to getting married at the courthouse with her brother on FaceTime to give her away.
Now, I was more than glad that I got to be her person. To be the person that she leaned on in times of need.
I looked over at my wife, who was staring at me with such a horrified, lost expression on her face that I felt everything inside of me still.
I was scared.
So goddamn scared.
I didn’t want to lose another baby.
I’d just come to terms with having him or her. I
wasn’t sure I would make it, and I knew without a doubt that Izzy would break.
There was no way I could lose her.
I loved them both with all my heart.
“I’m here,” I assured the doctor. “And I have my shit together.”
I didn’t at all…but I could at least act like I did.
“Yo,” Liner said, interrupting us, coming out of the labor room. “Your wife is freakin’ the fuck out, and she wants me to bring you to her.”
I wasn’t sure why Liner was in the labor room. Honestly, he’d been there since the beginning, and I had a feeling that he was there to make sure I didn’t lose my shit and go postal on everyone just in case something went wrong.
Like right now.
I winced and turned back to the doctor. “Can I go in the delivery room with her? She’s going to lose it. You’re right.”
The doctor pursed his lips. “Normally all the preparation is done at the same time, but if you hurry and get your clothes on.” He gestured to the gown that was on the countertop. “And are ready to go in thirty seconds, you can come.”
The nurses were bustling around Izzy, unhooking her from monitors, and unplugging her from God knows what. All the while, my sweet little Iz was watching me with silent tears running down her face.
I didn’t waste time.
I also didn’t complain that the stupid pants were eight inches too long, and the booties they gave me to wear only fit over half of my shoe.
The shirt was even worse.
It was uncomfortable and on the verge of ripping.
Yet, I put it on and didn’t complain.
***
Izzy
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart.” Was the last thing I heard before I couldn’t remember a single thing.
Now, I felt like I’d been sucking on cotton balls for what felt like hours on end, and I felt something missing.
It took me a while, but eventually I was able to crack my eyes open and blink at the shining white lights above my head.
“I’m sorry I didn’t want you,” I heard whispered.
And for some reason, I knew that Rome’s words, my beautiful Rome with his great big heart, wasn’t talking to me.
He was talking to our child.
Our child that, only hours ago, had been in distress and had nearly died in my womb.
“She knew you wanted her, man,” I heard someone whisper.
I turned my head and found the room full of people.
Wade and his wife were there, though they were an entire room apart. Linc was there with some strange young girl that I’d never seen before, yet I somehow instinctively knew was his Conleigh.
Then there was Bayou, who was standing over Rome, looking down at him with a shit eating grin on his face.
Liner was there, as well as a few of the other brothers, but they were in the little alcove that led into the room, making it impossible to see who was there talking to Liner.
My guess was Castiel, but there really was no telling.
The light was piercing, and my headache was damn near debilitating, but I opened my mouth anyway.
But Rome’s beautiful face, only inches away from our baby’s tiny perfect one, was too lovely not to look at.
Fuck the way my head felt like it was about to break in half.
I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t have this stunning memory to remember for the rest of my life.
“Rome.”
Rome’s head snapped up, and that was when I saw the beautiful pink bow on top of our baby’s head.
“It’s a girl.” He stood up and walked to me.
Tears started leaking out of my eyes.
“What are we naming her, darlin’?” he challenged, placing my daughter in my arms.
I couldn’t breathe, let alone think.
Yet this was something I instinctively knew.
We were naming our baby after one of her brother’s favorite movies.
“We’ll name her Astrid, after the dragon rider off of How to Train Your Dragon,” I told him.
And that was about when I saw a grown man cry.
Tyler, who appeared from the alcove by the door, walked up to us and threw his arm around Rome.
“Well, buddy…” Tyler drawled. “Looks like you got your happy.”
Nobody replied, but he got part of that statement correct.
Rome did, indeed, get some of his happy. The rest of it was in heaven, with my little girl who had never lived a single day, and Rome’s son, who had lived only fifteen hundred and eighty-seven days.
***
The first week at home was nothing short of terrifying.
Everything alarmed us. The sound of her breathing, the way she slept for such long hours, and the way she’d make these little noises when she breathed.
But one thing that didn’t worry me when it came to that little girl?
The way her father loved her so freakin’ much.
All it took was one look, and Astrid had found her hero. Rome never put her down. Never wanted her more than a few inches away from him. And forget her learning to sleep in her own bed. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if we had a bed in our room, right next to our bed, forever.
“This is Blitz,” I heard Rome say.
My eyes, which had felt like they’d fallen closed only moments before instead of an entire two hours—this mommying thing was hard work!—opened. The first thing I saw was Rome holding Astrid like a football in the crook of his arm. He was standing in front of Blitz’s new tricked out cage in the middle of our living room.
Astrid, eyes open for once, was staring at Rome and not Blitz.
I didn’t blame her one bit. I’d stare at Rome, too.
“And this is Toothless,” Rome continued, picking up the stuffed dragon that had been Matias’ pride and joy. “I think Matias would like for you to have him.”
***
Rome
3 ½ Years Later
“Did you read my card?” Izzy eyed me.
I felt my lips twitching. “Yeah.”
“Did you put her up to it?” I continued.
He shook his head. “I only wrote what she wanted me to say.”
She glared.
“She did not come up with that on her own.” She snorted.
“She really did. She said, and I quote, ‘Daddy, write down my exact words. Don’t change them.’” I looked at her. “So, when she said to write ‘Mother’s day would not be possible without me, buy me a present instead,’ I only did what I was told.”
She started to giggle, and I threw my arm around her shoulder. “She’s only three and a half, yet she acts like she’s an adult. Swear to God, this kid is even more adult than me…should we be worried that she’s so advanced for her age?”
I shrugged.
“I always thought Matias was smart because he was forced to do nothing, and the only way to keep him entertained was to do something to stimulate his brain with him. But, maybe I just make smart babies.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Oh, there he is!”
She started to waddle toward the opening gates, determination in her every step.
Then her brother saw her, grinned widely, and swept her carefully up into his arms.
Her feet left the concrete for a brief half a second, then he was putting her down to gather her more comfortably in his arms.
Izzy was eight months pregnant with our second child, and despite what everyone else thought, no she was not about to pop.
At least she better not be.
We needed that baby to cook a little longer.
When Astrid had decided to come three weeks early, neither her mother nor I had been prepared.
Now, we were even less prepared seeing as we had a toddler who was hell on wheels and demanded quite a bit of our time and energy. Though, we were about to gain a live-in babysitter any time we needed it thanks to Slate being released from jail
.
Originally, the plan had been for him to go home, but unfortunately, his release came with strings attached in the form of an ankle bracelet and house arrest for eight months. Which meant he’d be pretty isolated living alone, so until the time came that he could be able to come and go as he pleased, he was staying with us.
But I didn’t mind.
Slate was a good man, and honestly, I knew that Izzy was happy that he was going to be here.
And me? I’d do just about anything to make my woman happy, and that included letting her convict, former cop brother live with us for however long he wanted to stay.
“Slate!” Izzy cried loudly, squeezing her brother tightly.
Slate caught her awkwardly and buried his face into her hair.
“God, it’s good to hug you without chains, sister.” Slate sighed.
That was when Izzy started to cry.
“This is one of the best days ever!”
***
RP,
I bet you didn’t know that you would end up changing my life, but you did.
You’ve made everything in my life worth living for, and I want you to know that I’d be sad if you weren’t here anymore.
Now, hurry and wake up. I have a hungry toddler to feed, and she only likes her daddy’s scrambled eggs.
Love you,
RP’s Biggest Fan
***
RP’s Biggest Fan,
I’ll have you know that your eggs taste exactly the same as mine. You just don’t put them on the correct plate. Next time, try the Toothless plate, and she’ll probably like them.
I bet you didn’t know that you continue to change my life. Each day I wake up, I’m convinced that I’m living a dream. That at one point, the anger and the fear is going to come screaming back.
But, with you lying beside me, that pain—though not gone—is controllable. You’ve given me people to live for.
You know me. You don’t mind spending three hours a week at a gravesite with my son so our baby can learn about her big brother. You don’t complain when I have days that I hurt more than most. Hell, you don’t do anything but love and support me, and for that, I owe you the world.
There’s not one single thing in this world that I could ask for that you haven’t already given me.
Love you more,
RP
Mess Me Up Page 20
