by Mia Pride
She beamed with pride. It was true. She had truly come a long way and had not even noticed until this moment. And, she owed it all to Flynn.
Narrowing his eyes, Àdhamh looked suspiciously at Flynn. “I am quite certain I saw more between you and Maggie just now than a self-defense lesson.”
Flynn began to answer, but Maggie spoke up first. “Nay. There is nothing more between Flynn and me. I treated his wound and in the meantime, he taught me a few other skills.” Her cheeks flushed at the thought of exactly which skills he had taught her. “We have simply been awaiting Brennain’s return so Flynn could continue his mission for the king. I suppose it is just as well that you have arrived. Now you can take me home with you.”
Even as she said the words, her heart shattered to pieces. She had not been prepared to leave Flynn so abruptly, and facing a future without his daily presence suddenly seemed bleak, filling her with despair.
Maggie refused to turn around. Looking at Flynn would only hurt more. What would she see in his eyes if she dared look? Would he be pained to separate from her, or would she see relief that he was finally getting back to his life of service to King Tuathal? Either way, it would not matter. They had their time, and it was over. Her heart ached with the need for more, but it also soared for all she had achieved. She had learned to trust a man, to love him and make love to him. Those were three achievements she never thought to accomplish in her life, and though losing him was the most pain she had ever felt, she also had to use her new strength to overcome her circumstances. She would never be with another man, but she would have her memories with Flynn.
“Why are you with Brennain, anyway, Àdhamh?” Flynn questioned as he looked between her brother and his own. “I thought you were to come straight here if you learned anything important. Did you find Mal’s camp, then?”
Brennain had been silent, smugly watching the tension between Flynn and Àdhamh while he leaned against the wall. Now, he stepped forward and his smirk turned into a serious line. “Aye, I found it, and I spent almost a fortnight there, earning their respect and trust until I was able to learn more of Mal’s plans. What I learned, however, was that Mal meant to kidnap his daughter back from Ráth Mór, by any means necessary. Forgive me for not coming here straight away, brother, but I felt it was necessary to let Tuathal and Àdhamh know of Mal’s plan.”
“Elwynna?” Maggie gasped, clutching her heart. Her sweet sister by marriage had been misused terribly by her father. Fleeing to Ráth Mór and meeting Àdhamh had changed her life, but her father apparently was not ready to give her up.
“Aye,” Àdhamh growled. “My wife has been through enough. I will not let him near her. But then Brennain informed me that he had to travel back here to collect Flynn… and I knew I had to come with him to make sure my sister was well. I would have come sooner, only I had nay idea where this hut was located, since you simply took off without speaking to me.”
Maggie took a deep, steadying breath. Her brother only had two lassies he cared for in this world, and now both had inadvertently caused him grief. “I am sorry, Àdhamh. I wish to get back to Elwynna. I assume you will go to Mal’s camp with the men?”
She felt Flynn’s gentle touch on the small of her back and she hesitated to look back at him. She did not know what his touch meant, but she had to steel herself against any onslaught of emotion for the man. Their time here was done. It took all her strength, but she kept her eyes determinedly on her brother.
“Aye. We shall all escort you back to Ráth Mór, then we will head to their camp with an army of men,” Brennain answered. “I was able to gather information and sneak away without being seen. Even if they suspect I was Tuathal’s man and move, I know enough to know where they will travel.” His gaze moved to Flynn’s and he flashed an arrogant smile. “Are you proud of me, brother?”
Flynn scoffed in a way that only a brother would at his own sibling’s boasting. “Aye, that I am, and most glad you did not get yourself killed.”
“Never,” Brennain said with a smile.
“All right, Maggie. We need to be off,” her brother said, changing the subject. “The snow has stopped for now, but there is plenty to contend with and it will slow our travels. Elwynna is distraught that her father is bringing more trouble to our tribe, though ‘tis nay fault of her own. I wish to be there to comfort her, as I would have had my sister not run off…”
“Had your sister not run off, I may be dead,” Flynn said in her defense. The edge in his voice finally made her resolve to ignore him wane. Looking over her shoulder, his burning gaze on her made a chill run up her spine and she looked away again quickly, before he could see her embarrassing flush. She would never be able to resist a blush when he looked at her that way. But after today, that would not be possible, for they would be separated again.
“Need you time to gather your things?” Àdhamh ignored Flynn’s barb and directed his question at Maggie.
“All I have are the clothes on my back, my cloak, and my satchel,” she pointed to the leather sack over by her bed. “I suppose we may depart anytime. I should pack rations. I do not have much, but nay sense leaving any behind.”
“I am glad to see you at least had your own bed in this hut. I can only hope you truly used it.”
“Àdhamh! ‘Tis enough of that now!” she scolded. She walked over to the bed, grabbed her cloak, and clasped it around her neck before slinging her satchel over her shoulder. “Let us quit this place.”
If her brother saw through her false desire to go back to reality, he was kind enough not to comment on it.
Chapter Eleven
The weather outside was frigid and the air had a sharp bite to it that stung Flynn’s ears and nipped at his nose. He was used to such weather, but he feared the elements were not at all suitable for Maggie to travel in. She rode with her brother, slightly behind him and to the left, but Flynn could not help turning in his saddle every once in a while, to make certain she fared well.
“I am with her, Flynn. You need not check on her well-being every moment,” her brother groused. Flynn and Àdhamh had been good companions since the man came to Ráth Mór from Alba, yet he could not blame the man for his ire. Flynn had no wee sister, but he would likely be just as protective if he did, even though none of this was his doing. Although Àdhamh’s suspicions were, in fact, warranted, given that Flynn did bed the lass… and he likely would have again had her brother not barged into the hut at that exact moment.
With a frustrated growl, Flynn turned back around to face the front, a puff of cold breath escaping his lips. He wished to speak to Maggie, but he needed to do so in private. Before their brothers had both burst into the hut, Flynn had been about to confess to Maggie that he wanted more with her, a possible future. Could he make it so? Would Tuathal allow him to continue his services in a different manner? Though Tuathal was family and knew that love for a woman was essential in life, few men in Ráth Mór were capable of what Flynn was. Could his king allow him a new position in his service? He was not certain, but he was prepared to ask.
That was, however, until Maggie closed off to him the moment her brother arrived. She refused to even look him in the eye. Had she been so prepared to lose him that she never allowed herself the opportunity to grow as attached as he had? He was more than attached. He was irrevocably changed by the powerful love he felt for the lass. He was ready to give up aught just to keep her, something he never thought he was capable of. Her brother stood by like a sentry, waiting to pummel him if he came too close, but Flynn would find a moment to be with her; he had to.
“So…” Brennain said suggestively with a raised black brow.
“So?” Flynn repeated calmly.
“Were you really teaching her self-defense? It appeared you had your hand up her skirt and—”
“Enough!” Flynn groused. “Do not speak of her in that way.”
Brennain’s other brow went up to meet the first in clear surprise. “Och, you are mighty protective of he
r. I will take that as an ‘aye’.”
“An ‘aye’ to what, exactly?”
“That you have fallen for the lass.”
Flynn bit his bottom lip and turned his face away from his brother. This was not a conversation he knew how to have with anyone, but especially not with his brother, who vowed to never love a woman and spent as much time chasing skirts as he did servicing his king. Brennain could not possibly know what it meant to love a lass. Maggie was no ordinary lass. She was brilliant, compassionate, loving, humorous, skilled, caring… all the very best qualities in the world.
“Your silence speaks volumes,” Brennain said knowingly. “You can speak to me, you know. I may understand more than you think.”
That made Flynn shout with laughter, startling his horse. He patted Arawn comfortingly and rolled his eyes at his brother. “That feeling you experience after bedding a lass and collapsing on top of her, while you are sweaty and heaving with exertion?” Flynn said mockingly to his brother, “That is not love, mate.”
His brother reached out and punched him hard in the shoulder. “You believe ‘tis all I know of loving a lass?”
“Aye.”
“Nay. Do you not remember Morna, from Alba?”
Aye, Flynn remembered the blonde healer from a small village named Miathi on the coast of Alba. They had taken a boat across the sea to retrieve a few warriors from Alba. It was on that journey they brought back Jeoffrey and his wife Clarice, Alastar, Àdhamh and Maggie. He would never forget the first time he set his eyes on Maggie. She was so bonny, yet so timid. Flynn knew even then that she was special, but her brother protected her fiercely, as he did now, and Flynn had hardly had a chance to speak with her. It was only when they arrived home and he discovered Maggie would be their new healer that Flynn began to feign injuries, just so he could be in her calm presence. A ridiculous smile spread across his face and his brother punched his right shoulder again.
“Ouch! Stop that!”
“Nay. You were dreaming of a lass, I am certain of it, and it had better not have been Morna.”
“I was not dreaming of Morna!” Flynn scoffed, and punched his brother back.
“So, you admit to dreaming of a lass?” Brennain chuckled.
“What? Nay… I did not.”
“Would you two quit bickering like old hens?” Àdhamh bellowed from behind them. “The wind carries, you know. We can hear aught you say. Tell us Flynn, who were you dreaming of?” Àdhamh’s voice was laced with a warning, and Flynn rolled his eyes and made a mocking face that only his brother could see. Brennain burst out in laughter.
“I will remember that when we stop, Mac Greine. I can see your ugly face.”
Flynn only laughed and decided to ignore Àdhamh. There was not much he could say to the man to appease him at the moment, and no sense in trying. He was a grown man and Maggie was a grown woman. What they did or did not do in their own private time was their business alone. Unlike most men, Flynn did not boast of his conquests, nor would he ever view Maggie as such. ‘Twas best to remain silent and keep their focus on the road.
The snow was so thick in some areas the entire world seemed to be white, except for the pine needles that showed through in some areas. It also meant enemies could hide behind trees and not be seen until it was too late.
Ráth Mór was only a few more hours away yet with the harsh weather conditions, Flynn knew their progress would be slowed. He hoped they would not require an overnight stop, but if they did not make good time, it would be necessary. It had been late morning when they left and if all went well, they would be home by sundown.
The jostling of the horse made his wounded side throb, but it was much less pain than he had felt over a fortnight ago. Maggie had a true gift and he could not help but feel proud of all she had accomplished during their time together. He wondered if she felt for him, as he did for her. And though he was afraid of the truth, he needed to find out.
“As I was saying,” his brother cut off his musings. “Morna.”
“Aye… Morna,” Flynn responded and gave his brother the side-eye.
“I cared very much for that lass. My time with her was short, and I never even laid with her, but she meant much more to me than just a passing lass. I will likely never see her again, but I do know what it feels like to care for a woman, brother. I am here if you ever wish to speak on it.”
Speaking so seriously about lasses with his brother was odd and uncomfortable. Part of him believed Brennain was only setting him up to share his heart so he could laugh at him later. Either way, he was not ready to discuss his feelings for Maggie with anyone, until he discussed them first with her. “My thanks.”
“All right. I can see you will refuse to talk. I will let you keep your silence, for now.”
Brennain did not know the meaning of silence, but Flynn decided it was a small victory and he would leave it be. He was desperate to get Maggie back to safety and out of this cold.
* * * *
Àdhamh held her tightly around the waist to ensure she was safe on the horse they shared. She truly did not wish to speak to him. She was not entirely mad, but he did persist in treating her as a wee, incapable lass. She was anything but. Maggie was a grown woman in her own right, a healer who saved lives. She did not need to report to him or to anyone else. The way he treated Flynn grated on her nerves, yet she preferred not to get involved. The more she pushed the issue, the more her brother would recognize her love for Flynn, and the more he would question.
“I know something goes on between the two of you, Maggie. I wish you would share with me.”
“There is nothing to share, brother. I helped him to heal and while we awaited Brennain’s return, he taught me how to protect myself.”
“Aye,” his brother responded gruffly. “Which means you shared your past with him. You have never told another man about your past or your fear of men.”
“I have never been forced to live with a man for over a fortnight. I was quite afraid of him in the beginning. Flynn is a kind man and I quickly learned to trust him. Aye, I did tell him of my fears and their origins. He listened and decided that he would use our time together to help me feel more confident in protecting myself. ‘Twas his way of paying me back for my aid… not that I required it. But it was a mutually beneficial situation. He is healing quite well, and I do not feel as if I need to be so frightened every moment of my life. I say you owe Flynn your gratitude, not your ire.”
Àdhamh made a guffaw sound that only intensified her annoyance with him. “Elwynna lived with you for a while before you wed. How is it any different? Should I have been angry with her for being alone with you when I was not around? Because I am a lass, you can be angry that I am alone with a man, yet I cannot be mad that you were alone with a lass?”
Her logic made Àdhamh sputter with indignation. “I… well… ‘tis just different! She needed my help and I gave it!”
“Aye. Flynn required my help and I gave it. I am still awaiting an argument from you that is not one-sided and illogical. You cannot think of one, I assume?”
“I can think of one! Elwynna had nay protector! Her father had abused her! Without me, she had nobody to speak for her. Besides, she was not an innocent!” he stumbled over his words and she could not help but smirk at his sudden hesitation.
“I need not hear anymore. You have nay excuse for your bluster. ‘Tis only your bruised pride. I will not apologize for responding to the call of duty, and I shall do so again if need be.”
“You have changed, Maggie. I have to admit, I do like it.” She could hear the humor in his voice for the first time all day, and felt herself relax and breathe easier for the first time since his arrival. She loved her brother dearly and knew he only meant well, but she truly felt like a different woman now than she had a fortnight ago. She refused to be coddled any longer, and she refused to stand down. Too many years had been spent fearing what others would think of her, or worse, who would hurt her next.
She
was by no means a warrior-lass like Aislin, but she felt confident that she could defend herself at least as well as the next lass, and that was thanks to Flynn. They may never be together, and she may feel a slight resentment toward him for his refusal to change his lifestyle to make room for love, but she could not dislike the man for he had helped her become this new, braver version of herself.
Arriving at Ráth Mór only a couple hours later than normal due to the snow, Maggie was more than happy to dismount from the horse after riding through the towering iron gates. Every limb ached, and she was half frozen through. Her brother helped her down, but she had to hold onto him for a moment to stretch her legs. Flynn and Brennain had carried on in whispered conversations ahead of them for most of the journey, and she could not hear most of what they said, nor was it any of her business, though for some reason she ached to be a part of whatever they had planned.
Now that she had tasted freedom, she was not quite ready to go back to her usual, boring life. Aye, she loved to help heal the sick and wounded but aside from that, little awaited her in this village. Never had she felt more alone or restless. And now that she knew what real love felt like, and what it meant to lay with a man, going back to living in the small roundhouse with Elwynna and Àdhamh felt akin to a nightmare. She did not wish to encroach on their life. Though it was quite normal for family to live together in one home, it usually consisted of larger, extended families. She was simply in their way, even if they would deny it.
“We must report to Tuathal and receive our orders,” Flynn said. Hearing his deep voice for the first time in hours made her heart ache. She had grown so accustomed to his presence that even being so close to him all day, yet separated, felt as if a piece of her soul had been torn from her. She supposed she must grow accustomed to living without him. Within days, he would be gone again.
