by Anne Connor
I stay silent, my own thoughts breaking through the surface. Even the adrenaline of taking a few curves too fast and whipping through our town, slowing down just to roll through a few red lights just enough to not crash, is not enough to compete with the pain. But at least I can feel. At least I’m human again, even if only a little bit.
A familiar neighborhood drifts into view. It’s where Alec’s old boss lives. The neighborhood where all of the lawns are perfect. But this time, no one is awake inside the homes. Or maybe they are, but all the lights are out.
“Wait here.” Alec gets out of the car and slams the door shut. I open my mouth to protest what I know he’s about to do, but nothing comes out. I roll the window down manually and rest my arm out the window, looking behind the car for anyone else coming up the road.
I should stop him. I don’t know if I want to, though.
Alec crouches down in some bushes lining the narrow sidewalk outside this prick’s house across the street. Looking left and right, he checks his surroundings before barreling across the lawn and around the side of the house. I check the streetlamps for surveillance cameras, and the street-facing sides of the houses. It doesn’t look like there’s anything there. Sometimes the people with the most to lose are the most careless with it, or maybe they don’t think some rough lowlifes from the next town over would ever come here to jack their shit. Either way, if Alec can get the fuck out of here undetected, he’ll be in the clear for good.
My head fills with the adrenaline I felt before, when we were cruising, my heart pumping blood hard and fast into my veins. An automatic motion-sensing light over the house next-door flicks on, and my eyes dart quickly over to the target’s house, but Alec isn’t there. Maybe he’s inside. Maybe he’s in the back trying to jimmy open a loose window. I don’t know what his plan is, but I know all I can do is sit here and witness what’s about to go down.
Maybe he’s just trying to prank the old bastard. Wallpaper the back of his house with shaving cream.
Alec creeps carefully from the back of the house to the side, where our eyes meet. He’s not smiling, but he’s got a sick look of satisfaction plastered on his face. A wave of calm washes over me, replacing the anxiety in my veins with a cool, even soothing sensation.
Alec waves his hand to motion for me to get in the driver’s seat, and I slide over the center console to let him get in next to me, street-side. He strides quickly but calmly over, and gets in as fast as he left.
“Drive,” he commands, putting his hoodie over his face and sinking down into his seat, checking around the car as I whip a U-turn and get the hell out of there.
“Want to explain what that was?” I adjust my rearview mirror and catch a look at myself and the road behind us. No one’s there, but my eyes look red and alert.
“He took something from me,” Alec says, pulling a big, ostentatious gold watch out of his pocket, “so I took something from him.”
“That’s a nice piece of jewelry,” I say, glancing down at its gold face and band. I don’t comment on it any further. I don’t want to condone what he’s done, but I guess I already have by not trying to stop him.
“He won’t even miss it, I’ll bet.”
“How the fuck’d you get in?”
“Window was open in the back. I guess it was just good luck.”
“Bad fucking luck for him,” I reply.
“It’s tight this week, you know? The baby and everything.”
It’s not an excuse. But I didn’t stop him.
We make our way back to our town and I drop Alec off at his place, a few blocks from mine. I take his car back to my garage, lock it up, and walk the rest of the way to my house.
And I feel nothing.
There are no lights on in the house. When I get to my room, she rustles awake. Shit. I was hoping she’d remained sleeping.
“Everything okay?” she asks, her big blue eyes encircled with the redness of worry. I can see it even in the darkness. There’s suspicion and mistrust in her voice, and I don’t want to lie to her. Everything's not okay.
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just went downstairs for a minute,” I say back to her, crossing the room. I peel back the covers and slide into bed with her, her perfect, warm body conforming to mine.
“What for?”
“Nothing. It was nothing.”
And if I keep telling myself that, maybe it will be.
I suck in a deep breath and hold her close, running my hands over her body. Today was supposed to be the day I asked her to be with me forever. I don’t want this to just be the day that I had to say goodbye to Mom. I want this day to mean something good, too.
“Daisy, I’m glad you’re here,” I say, rolling onto my side. She faces me and puts her fingertips on my shoulder. Her touch is so soothing. It’s calmness amidst the chaos.
She takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. She looks good in my black t-shirt and nothing else. You can keep the lace and the fancy shit. It’s nice to look at, but this is how I like my Daisy best. Comfortable, and in my clothes if she needs to put something on.
“I wish I weren’t here under these circumstances,” she says, brushing my hair away from my face. “I wish I was just here for one of our normal sleepovers.”
I can’t help but smile when I think of our sleepovers. I love having her for the whole night. Having her for just the day isn’t enough.
“Then let’s make the day different,” I say, snaking my arm around her back. “Let’s make the day memorable for something else, too.”
I pull her closer and press my mouth against hers, pulling her leg up onto my hip. Taking her in my hand, I rub her smooth, perfect flesh as she falls against me.
“Let me make you feel good,” she breathes, pulling her lips away from me. I let my fingers stray up her thigh, between her legs. She isn’t wearing panties, and she’s hot and wet for me. I slide one finger into her and take her lips with mine, as our frantic, passionate kiss overtakes me.
It’s a sweet escape for just a moment, but it’s more than that. It’s what I should be doing every night. It’s what I want to do every single night.
I put my hand behind her head and shift so I’m over her, and she wraps her legs up around my waist slowly.
I can’t help myself. She’s too fucking gorgeous and perfect for me to show any control. I take her lips with mine and roughly kiss her mouth, making a trail down to her chin. I lace my fingers through her hair and pull gently, making her moan and squirm beneath me.
“Fuck,” I breath as she sits up, forcing me to back away from her. She pulls her shirt over her head like she can’t wait to get it off, and I quickly take one of her perfect pink nipples between my fingers, rolling and pinching the way she likes it.
I know that makes her fucking crazy, makes her beg for me with her body. Even when she says nothing at all, she can tell me she wants me. With just a look, the way her eyes pool with desire and her mouth slips open slightly, I know she wants it.
And I want her. I need her. I love her.
I let my hands slip over her body and caress her breasts with the force she loves, rolling her nipples carefully but roughly while my mouth trails down her belly. This is the part where I’d rip her panties off if she were wearing any, but instead I push her legs apart and kiss her deeply, taking her clit between my lips as my cock steels against my shorts.
Her hands come down behind my head as she moans softly, her head back on the pillow and her back arched for me. I slide in two fingers and fuck her with my hand, but I don’t stop kissing her. I want to be inside her, but I don’t stop kissing her. I won’t stop until she tells me to stop. Until there’s no question that she’s had enough.
Her ass grinds down onto the bed and I push two fingers against her soaked skin, exposing her clit and grinding my tongue against her. She tenses up and her body breaks as she cums, breathing my name into the air.
“Okay,” she moans as I take my tongue away from her. “Okay. Stop.”
“Hearing you tell me to stop is almost as hot as when you beg me to fuck you.”
She laughs, putting her hands over her face as I pull the blanket up around us, settling next to her.
“Is that why you’re up here?” she asks, moving her body against mine and putting her arm across my chest. “You want me to start begging for your body?”
“No,” I say. “I want to talk to you. I need to ask you something.”
I can feel the gravity in my voice. Our fingers lace together as I look down at her.
I pull my body away from her reluctantly. I am confident in my decision, but nervous. I have to do this, though. I can’t wait any longer.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
“No,” I say. “But it will be.”
I walk away from her, crossing the room to my desk. My insides are a fucking bundle of nerves, and my heart is thumping faster than it ever has.
“Please,” I say, taking the ring from its small box. I turn around and walk back over, my heart beating at breakneck speed. I don’t even say anything. I just get down on one knee and hold the ring out to her.
This isn’t what I envisioned, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she wears it.
She puts her hand out and nods. Her expression barely changes, except for her eyes. Her eyes tell me everything. Even though it’s dark, and she says nothing, she jumps up and puts her arms around my neck.
Everything’s not okay. But it will be.
Daisy
I wake up like I always do when I’m at his house - early in the morning so I can sneak back over to my own home, where I still live with my parents, before they wake up.
I shouldn’t, though. Not now.
My eyes stab at the dark, trying to find Travis. His hoodie is swung over the chair at his desk, but he isn’t here. I rub the sleep away from my eyes and squint around the room. A sliver of light comes from the hallway, and I go over to the door and open it.
I hear two male voices as I make my way into the hall and down the stairs cautiously. I pull my robe tighter around my waist and make sure that I’m completely covered, in case someone sees me.
The muffling of their voices starts to clear up and each takes on a life of its own. There’s an older man talking sternly, and I swear I recognize his voice. I make my way farther downstairs, past the row of school portraits of Travis lining the wall. I place my hand on the banister, peeking down, trying to see who is down there.
I do know the older gentleman. It’s my dad’s partner, Officer Finlay. He’s in plain clothes, and I can only see the back of his head, but I’d recognize his posture and body anywhere. I look farther down, past the wall adjacent to the banister, and see Travis sitting at the kitchen table. All the lights are on, and when Mr. Finlay turns slightly, I can see that he’s holding a small notepad and flipping through the pages.
I start to go back upstairs, softly making my way up, careful not to make my presence known. I shouldn’t be here as it is, and I don’t want to get involved in whatever it is they’re talking about. It’s probably something to do with his mom’s death. I know from my dad that whenever a person passes away at home, there’s an investigation. But it doesn’t make sense, because Mrs. Bloom passed away a few days ago and the investigation should have been wrapped up by now.
“Daisy?” Mr. Findlay calls up to me, his voice hitting my eardrums like a bad note. If my dad finds out from him that I was over here, he’ll be pissed.
“It’s okay Daisy, come down,” Travis says, his voice defeated. I make my way back downstairs, trying to look confident, but I don’t want to talk to my dad’s partner right now.
“Please, sit,” Mr. Findlay says, pulling a chair out for me at the kitchen table. “I just wanted to ask you a couple of things.”
If my dad put him up to this, I’d be mortified. Showing up early in the morning like this to interrogate me and Travis like a couple of criminals. Dad was always overprotective, but this is going a little overboard, if you ask me.
If my parents knew that Travis proposed, maybe they’d see things differently.
“A moment, Travis?” Mr. Findlay tilts his chin at Travis, and Travis gets up to go upstairs. He looks back down at me, his blue eyes shining with new life, his jaw clenched hard, as his lips curl up into a slight smile before he disappears upstairs.
Mr. Findlay towers over me, peering down over his notebook. He’s been my dad’s partner for over twenty years, and he knows everyone in this town. He was always the good cop to my dad’s bad cop. When Travis, Alec and a few other guys got caught drinking wine coolers in the parking lot of the high school in 11th grade, he let them off with a warning and laughed when he related the story to my mom, dad and me. My dad would have arrested them on the spot for trespassing, underage drinking, driving under the influence, and knowing him, he probably would have given Travis a lecture about staying away from his daughter.
We’ve both heard lectures like that before.
But it doesn’t feel like Mr. Findlay is about to give me a lecture. The way he’s looking at his notebook, it seems like he’s searching for something.
“This is going to be simple, Daisy, and I’m sorry for dragging you into this.”
He pulls a chair out from the table and perches down on it, his legs spread out, taking up too much room. I feel so small in comparison, helpless. I want Travis to come be by my side.
“What is it? What’s going on?” I ask, looking around the kitchen at how messy it still is.
“Were you here all night, Daisy?” he asks, folding his hands on the table in front of him.
I sigh and let out a deep breath. “Yeah,” I confirm, “I was here all night. Did my dad send you over?”
“Were you with Travis all last night?” he asks, jotting something down in his notebook.
I try to look away from the notebook, but I can’t take my eyes off it. I want desperately to see what he’s writing down. Is it something about me? About Travis?
“Yeah,” I say quickly, “I was with Travis all night.”
“Did you wake up at all during the night?”
“No,” I say. But it’s not the whole truth. I can’t lie. “Not really.”
“Okay,” he says, rubbing a hand over his bearded chin, scratching it contemplatively. “Daisy, is it possible that Travis wasn’t with you all night?”
I shake my head. “No, he was here all night. With me. Is something the matter?” Worry flashes through me like a wave, and I feel my face heat up. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry to put you through this. Just a few more questions. Are you sure that Travis was here all night? I mean, if you were sleeping...could he have left?”
I try to swallow, but the lump in my throat is too big. Heat pricks at my throat and I shut my eyes tight.
“Yeah,” I choke out. “It’s possible.”
“Thank you, Daisy. You’ve been very helpful.”
He gets up and puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I don’t know what the hell just happened.
Daisy
One Year Later
“For a civilian, you certainly look like you’re in charge, honey.” My dad sidles up to me and puts an arm around my shoulder as he surveys the room. “And without being too intimidating, either.”
I poke an elbow out and smile up at him.
“Not intimidating?” I laugh. “I’ll lock up anyone if I see them acting out of line.” I stab the air with both of my fists. “Citizens’ arrest.”
I look down at the outfit I’m wearing, because it’s shifting as I’m trying to do my assertive, intimidating, hardcore self-defense moves. It’s not something I’d usually wear, but tonight isn’t a normal night for me. It’s the annual policeman’s gala, and for the occasion I’m wearing a body-hugging black dress with a high neckline and hem that hits just above my knees, and a pair of black patent-leather pumps I borrowed from my friend Sarah. My mom said it made me look elegant and like I no lon
ger belonged at the kid’s table.
I’d hope so. I’m finally done with my master’s, and I’m working at the police station as a research analyst. Dad’s right, even though I’m a civilian I do kind of run things. Well, I run three interns each semester. That’s running things a little bit.
A few cater waiters weave through the crowd with passed horderves, chilled glasses of champagne, and a signature cocktail made with gin and locally-sourced basil. If I’d know I’d be invited to parties like this, I’d have tried to complete my master’s earlier.
“Honey, if you see anyone out of line, just call me. I’ll do my job and get them under control.”
The corners of my mouth pull into a slight smile as I look around the room. I catch Colin looking at me from across the banquet hall, where he’s in uniform talking to a few of the other new recruits just out of the criminology program at the local community college.
I fan my fingers into the air, waving at him and giving a little smile. He’s the son of Dad’s partner, and I’ve known him forever. He asked me to come here tonight as his date, and after a few protestations I told him I’d love to. I’m not usually a liar, but he was very persistent, and he insisted that we were just coming here as a friendly date.
Colin looks great in his uniform. He wears it with pride and confidence, and he looks good in blue. He has the body of an officer, and he strides over to me with a smile, like I’m the only person in the room.
But even though he’s a great guy and I appreciate his contribution to our community, I feel nothing for him.
“How is the lady doing?” He stands next to me, opposite my dad, and stretches an arm out across us to shake my dad’s hand.
“Oh, you mean me?” I say, grabbing a bacon-wrapped shrimp on a skewer as a waitress stops near us.
“Yes, you. Or are you too busy kicking ass to be a lady?” Colin laughs, putting his arm around my waist.
