by Desiree Holt
“You must be some kind of excited to learn you have relatives—aunts and uncles and cousins, right?”
“Yeah. You can’t believe how shocked they all were to discover we’re alive.”
“I can imagine.”
“My parents are planning a big family reunion as soon as school is out and I can take some time off.” She shook her head. “I can’t tell you how weird that will be.”
“At least it will keep you busy,” Gretchen pointed out.
The anguish Maddie had been pushing away came flooding back. “I guess.”
“Oh, honey. If it’s supposed to work out, it will. Honest.”
But Maddie definitely had her doubts. All she had left of Hawkeye were the memories and the scent of him on the guest room sheets. How bad was it she had not changed the linens on the bed since the night he’d slept there. After she dragged herself home from Gretchen’s, she changed into a long T-shirt and crawled into the guest room bed.
How stupid was it to fall for a man like Hawkeye St. John? Of course he didn’t want a relationship. He already had one with Delta Force, and that took everything from him. He’d been a great protector, kept her safe, and made sure everything was wrapped up, including The Omega Team actions, before he’d left for his final medical checkup. He’d called her one last time to let her know she was safe now and forever. At least from Gus Scalzo.
But who would keep her heart safe? Or help her mend it?
Wrapping herself in the bedclothes and inhaling his scent from the pillow, she fell into an uneasy sleep.
*****
Hawkeye shifted his cell phone and tucked it between his neck and shoulder. He needed both hands free to finish packing his stuff. His medical clearance had been submitted and his new orders cut. In an hour, he’d be on his way back to join his Delta Team members at Fort Hood. Ghost had called to check up on him and to thank him one last time for what he’d done for Maddie.
“I know it was a lot to ask,” Ghost said, “and I appreciate the way you stepped up to the plate.”
“We are brothers who depend on each other,” Hawkeye reminded him. “Always.”
“Yeah, well, I still owe you. And you can ask me to return the favor any time.” Silence hummed along the connection. “None of my business, but are you planning to see Maddie again before you leave?”
Hawkeye wasn’t prepared for the sudden stabbing pain in the region of where his heart was supposed to be.
“There’s no future for us,” he reminded the man. “At least not from where I stand.”
“Rayne and I are making it work,” Ghost pointed out to him. “So are others I can name for you.”
“But I don’t think I could handle it,” Hawkeye told him. “What if I get hurt and come home half the man I am now? She’s stuck with me?”
Ghost gave a rough laugh. “I don’t think that’s a problem. Rayne told me I only need to come home with two things intact.”
“And what’s that?”
“My heart and my dick.”
Hawkeye busted out laughing. “That’s some woman you’ve got there. Strong and tough.”
Another pause. “You know, I think Maddie’s probably as tough as that. She didn’t crack with Scalzo’s goons after her. Besides, a woman who can face down a kid with a gun holding a roomful of students hostage isn’t someone who cracks under pressure.”
He knew Ghost was right. And he wanted to kick himself for not praising Maddie for her courage under fire. Not even mentioning it. She must think he was an insensitive asshole. How did a guy like him hang onto a woman like her?
“Hey, Hawkeye,” Ghost growled in his ear. “You still with me?”
“Yeah, man. I am.”
“All I’m telling you is, give it some thought. When it’s meant to be right, two people figure out a way to make it work. Just sayin’.”
“Thanks. For everything. Drinks on me next time we meet up.”
“Hey, I should be buying the drinks for you. But I never turn down a freebie.”
He sat on his bed holding the phone for a long time after he hung up. When he looked at his watch, he realized he needed to get his ass in gear. But Ghost had for sure given him a lot to think about.”
*****
The moment the school bell rang, her students began gathering their papers and books and stuffing them into their backpacks.
“Assignments due on Tuesday,” she called after their retreating backs.
As soon as they were gone, she began gathering her own things. She wasn’t excited about the long weekend stretching ahead of her. Another empty one. Even Gretchen had deserted her for the new man in her life. She was happy for her friend but miserable for herself.
Two months had passed since Hawkeye walked out of her life. Two months, three days, and five hours, to be exact, but who was counting? The first week, she’d sleepwalked through the days and tossed restlessly at night. She was still sleeping in the guest room bed, on the sheets that were imprinted with his scent. She didn’t dare tell Gretchen she was sleeping on sheets she hadn’t washed for two months.
Two months, three days, and five hours. Exactly. Check.
Things had gotten a little easier as the weeks passed. She stopped her obsessive checking of her cell phone. Now, she limited herself to three times a day, even if she sometimes had to grit her teeth to get through it. Gretchen wanted to fix her up with a friend of her newest hunk, but Maddie couldn’t make herself generate any excitement about any man who wasn’t Hawkeye.
There was one bright spot in her life. Jason Schroder’s parents had really stepped up to the plate. They’d taken him out of class and were home schooling him, along with getting him some intensive therapy. The last she’d heard he was making slow but steady improvement in dealing with the things that had pushed him over the edge.
Thank the lord she could tick off another week on the calendar, but that meant the weekend stretched endlessly before her. She had made herself a promise she wouldn’t spend another one in her pajamas watching old chick flicks, eating ice cream, and crying tears she convinced herself were because of the movies. So what could she do that would occupy her mind, a mind focused on only one thing, Hawkeye St. John?
She was pathetic. That was the only word for it.
She thought about taking another quick trip to San Antonio. After everything had come to light, she’d spent a long weekend with her parents, listening to their story and their explanations. She couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it had been for them all these years, keeping all of this to themselves, living off the radar, never seeing family and friends. Family and friends who, by the way, were at first shocked her parents were still alive and then grateful to have them back in their lives.
But she tossed that idea at once. They didn’t need her blubbering all over them for three days. When she thought of what they’d been through, being upset because a warrior you fell in love with didn’t do relationships seemed way too insignificant.
Swallowing a sigh, she stuffed her work for the weekend in her portfolio, grabbed her purse, and headed out of the classroom into the hall.
And stopped.
She was sure for a moment her heart stopped, also. There, in front of her, leaning against the opposite wall and wearing an expression of uncertainty, was Levi “Hawkeye” St. John. He definitely looked as if he’d been rode hard and put away wet. His longish hair had grown even more, he had at least a week’s growth of beard, and he was dressed in Army fatigues that looked as if he slept in them since the day he walked away from her. A duffel and backpack lay at his feet as if he’d just dropped them there.
Maddie stared at him, unable to move, as if he were an apparition that would disappear if she blinked. Then she dropped her purse and portfolio, stepped closer to him, and threw her arms around him.
“Is it really you?” She ran her fingers through his hair, over his shoulders, down his chest. “I’m not imagining it?”
His chuckle had a rusty sound to it. “I
t’s me.” He smiled, but it was a smile filled with uncertainty.
“Is it okay I came here like this?” he asked. “I guess I didn’t stop to think how it would look me just showing up here, dressed like this.”
“It’s fine. Really.” She studied his face, seeing fatigue and something else, something she didn’t expect from him. Uncertainty. “Do-did you want to come to my house?”
“If you’ll have me.”
Oh, she’d definitely have him. If it was only for one weekend she’d gladly take that.
“Then let’s get your car and get moving. You can follow me.”
“I don’t have a car. I took a cab right from the airport.”
Did that mean he was so anxious to see her? Maddie’s stomach was doing funny little flip-flops.
“Then let’s get out of here.”
They rode to her house in tension-filled silence. She was so acutely conscious of him she felt as if every nerve in her body had been exposed and rubbed raw. She didn’t know what Hawkeye had on his mind. Would he have shown up out of the blue like this if all he wanted to tell her was there could never be anything between them? He’d been pretty plain about it the day he’d walked out of her house. So what could it be?
By the time she pulled into her garage, she was a nervous wreck, her nerves made worse by her pitiful effort to conceal them. Inside the house, she dropped her keys into a bowl on the kitchen counter and set her purse and portfolio beside them. She noticed, with a hopeful hitch to her emotions, that Hawkeye had brought his gear inside with him.
She heard the thud as his bags dropped to the floor and turned to ask him if he wanted a drink or something, but never got the chance to ask. His muscular arms drew her close to him and pulled her against his hard body. One hand cradled her head, holding it in place, while the other threaded through her hair. He gave her one penetrating look before his mouth came down on hers. Hard. Almost bruising. No soft touching of lips, or light swipes of the tongue.
This was full-on plundering and taking. He thrust his tongue inside, swiping it across hers before licking all the soft interior flesh. He sucked her tongue into his own mouth, lightly scraping his teeth over it while he held her head firmly in place. Maddie grasped his arms and held on for dear life so she didn’t fall weak-kneed to the floor. Only when she was sure she’d run out of breath did Hawkeye lift his mouth from hers. The look in his eyes was so hungry, so filled with some kind of emotion, Maddie really did think she’d melt to the floor.
Without saying a word, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bedroom where he set her on the floor.
“Clothes,” he rasped. “Off.”
She undressed, her fingers trembling so she could hardly undo buttons and clasps. Maybe if she’d watched what she was doing it would have been better, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man in front of her. In seconds, he had stripped away his fatigues, kicked his boots to the side, and yanked down his boxer briefs. When her gaze fell on his erection, standing away from his body thick and proud, she forgot about whatever he might have in mind. Sinking to her knees, she wrapped the fingers of one hand around his cock and closed her mouth over the velvety head.
“Fuck!” The word exploded out of his mouth.
Inspired, and drawn by the salty taste of him and the smoothness of the skin stretched hard over his shaft, she slid her lips up and down, following a path sketched by her hand. Hawkeye grabbed her shoulders, digging his fingers in so hard she wondered if they’d leave bruises.
Maddie had never been a fan of giving oral sex—and sometimes not even of receiving it—but she realized in an instant it was because she’d never done it with the right person. This was the right person. Even if this was an aberration, if she only had him for a short time, she was going to make the most of it. Store up memories she could live on for a long, long time.
She set up a rhythm up and down, hands and mouth, stroking, sucking, reveling in the groans rumbling up from his chest and the way his fingers gripped her head so hard, guiding it this way and that. His breath rasped loudly in the room, more so as blood surged through the vein on his shaft and he began to rock his hips. Emboldened, she slipped her other hand between his sculpted thighs until she cupped the sac with his balls in the palm of her hand, squeezing rhythmically in concert with the glide of her lips and fingers on his erection.
When she pulled her mouth all the way back so only the tip was encased, he groaned and thrust forward, urging her to take him deep again. She swirled the tip of her tongue around the velvety head, squeezed his balls, then took him all the way deep in her throat.
“Fuck!” he shouted, louder this time. “Jesus, Maddie. I’m…I’m….”
But she already felt it, the surge of pressure through his shaft, the tightening of his balls, the tensing of his body. Tilting her head back she took him as deep into her throat as she could just as the first spurt of cum burst onto her tongue and into her throat. She sucked hard over and over, never letting up the rhythm of her strokes, making her own humming noises of satisfaction.
When she had sucked every last bit of cum from him, when he was well and truly spent, she eased her mouth from his cock, letting it rest in the palm of her hand. Hawkeye urged her to her feet, tilted her chin up so he could give her eyes that searching look.
“That wasn’t quite what I had envisioned right off the bat.” One corner of his mouth kicked up in hint of a grin. “I wanted to come inside you, feel the hot walls of your pussy close down on me. But, darlin’, that was almost a religious experience. I can only hope you enjoyed it half as much as I did.”
“No question about it.” She licked her lips, and heat danced in his eyes.
“But now it’s my turn.”
Before she could say a word, he had the covers stripped back from the bed and had placed her on it, the curve of her ass resting on the edge of the mattress. He knelt before her, setting her legs on his shoulders, and ran his hands up the inside of her thighs.
“I thought every night about how good you tasted,” he told her in a husky voice. “Now I get to enjoy it again.”
With his thumbs he peeled back her labia and drew a line with his tongue the length of her slit, up and back, over and over. Electricity sizzled through her, and she hitched her body toward him. She dreamed about his tongue inside her almost every night. She wanted that feeling for real.
But Hawkeye seemed to enjoy tormenting her, taking his time. With the tip of his tongue, he drew lazy lines over every inch of her wet pink flesh, the pouty lips, the soft area around her opening. When he closed his teeth over her throbbing clit, tugging it and gently biting down on it, the sharp sensations triggered a climax that roared up without warning. Hawkeye pressed his thumbs at her opening and thrust his tongue inside, using it as he would his cock, dragging it over her sensitive flesh as she clamped down on him, spasms gripping her. He was like a man possessed, determined to torment her with pleasure.
When the shudders eased, he still continued to lick her overly aroused flesh until she was sure he’d drawn every drop of liquid from her. He eased her legs down and rose from the floor, bending over her and balancing himself on his hands.
“Taste,” he ordered, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, “Now you have the core of us mixed together, so blended you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.”
The combined flavors were sharp, with a salty-sweet overlay. When she licked her lips, Hawkeye gave another of his soft rumbling roars. She was still catching her breath when he moved her on the bed to the position he wanted her in—on her knees with a pillow tucked beneath her tummy. She couldn’t believe he was ready again.
“Don’t move,” he ordered, as he climbed off the bed.
She waited, wondering where he had gone and what he was doing, but then he was back, and she heard the crinkling of a foil package being opened. Of course. The condom.
“I’ve been dreaming about this,” he told her in a guttural voice, positioning him
self behind her.
She felt the head of his cock probe at her entrance, ease inside a little, then a little more. Oh god! She tried to thrust her hips back at him, silently pleading with him to enter her all the way, but he obviously was intent on teasing her. He kept up the same slow, teasing pace, pulling back then easing in a little more each time, until at last! At last! He was finally completely inside her. The walls of her sex gripped down on him, clamping hard. Maddie rocked her hips, silently begging for more. For harder.
Hawkeye placed his lips close to her ear.
“I’d love to make this one last all night,” he told her. “But, Maddie, I’m about to explode again. I need to fuck that sweet little pussy until you come your brains out.”
Yes! Yes! Yes! She wanted to shout it.
He dragged his mouth down her spine, leaving a trail of wet kisses. When he reached her ass, he licked the curve of each one before sliding one hand onto her hot crevice and pressing the tip of his finger against her anus.
“Before tonight’s over,” he promised in that same erotically husky voice, “I’ll have you here, too. I’m going to have you every way possible so I’ll be forever imprinted on your body.”
Then, as if some hidden signal had tripped, he grabbed her hips, steadied himself, and drove into her fully. In and out, back and forth, no tentative moves here. He filled her completely over and over, his thick erection dragging against her inner walls, hitting that sweet spot every time. Maddie closed her eyes and lost herself in the sensation of it, letting him possess her body to the fullest.
“I dreamed of this,” he growled, his breathing choppy. “When I fell asleep at night, all I could think of was your sweet little pussy grabbing my cock and holding on forever. Come with me, Maddie. Come with me now.”
Her climax unraveled within her like the unwinding of a steel coil, the sensations roaring through her, her body riding up the crest with every stroke of Hawkeye’s cock inside her. And then they were there again, together. Exploding. Shaking. Through the thin latex shield, she could still feel the hot spurts of his cum, and she flew, shaking hard with the force of the orgasm.
