by Liz Isaacson
“Dad?” She paused on the threshold of the room, trying to see through the dim light to the bed. She’d come after her work on the ranch, after a quick spaghetti dinner with Austin at the homestead that could’ve used a lot of salt. But she’d eaten it and thanked Robin. Then she’d kissed Austin on the cheek and made the drive into town to see her father.
A moan came from the bed, and Shay fumbled frantically to flip on the light. “Dad.” He winced against the bright light but didn’t really open his eyes. His head tossed from left to right as Shay rushed to his side. “What’s wrong?”
She put the back of her hand to his forehead and found him on the feverish side of hot. “Have you had any medications, Dad?” She scanned the bedside table and only found ibuprofen. Thankfully. He’d hoarded prescription pills he hadn’t finished, and thrown quite a fit when she’d insisted they throw them out.
“Sit up,” she said, pulling him into an upright position. “Come on now. Wake up.”
His eyes fluttered open, but they didn’t focus. Heat streamed from his body. Shay pulled the blankets down, frowning at her father’s flannel pajamas. Seriously, who wore flannel in Texas?
“Dad,” she said sternly, trying to hold herself together and make a proper assessment. “I need you to talk to me. It’s Shay. Wake up.”
His eyes cleared, and he blinked.
She leaned closer so he wouldn’t get distracted by anything. “I need to know what pills you’ve had.”
“Just those.” He gestured limply to the bottle of ibuprofen nearby.
“When?”
Pain twisted his features. “I don’t know. What time is it?”
“Almost six-thirty.”
“Six-thirty?” His eyes shot open. “I have fishing club tonight.”
“Not tonight.” Shay shook a few more fever reducers into her palm. “You’re taking more of these and you need to eat something and then I’ll decide if you need to go to the hospital.”
“No hospitals. I’m fine.”
“You’re burning up and I could barely wake you.” Shay started for the door. “Let me get you a drink, and I’ll be right back.” She hurried into the bathroom, which had been redone just before her father moved in due to a leak in the shower. So he had new waterproof tile that looked like wood on the floor, and a new toilet, tub, shower, and sink. She filled a glass with cold water and hunted around for a washcloth to make cool too.
She couldn’t find one, and called, “Dad, where are your washcloths?” She knew he had some; she’d bought them herself. Almost everything in the homestead had been decades old, and Shay hadn’t moved yellowed sheets, old towels, or mothball-scented comforters. All of that had gone straight in the dumpster she’d rented and she’d bought a few new linens and towels for her father’s new, simple life in this senior citizen community.
He didn’t answer—again—and Shay’s annoyance shot through the top of her skull. She returned to the bedroom to find he’d fallen asleep again, and her frustration combined with her concern to make a deadly emotional cocktail inside her.
She woke him and made him drink enough to swallow the pills. After digging through the closet in the hall, she found the two washcloths she’d purchased for him—still with the tags on them—and soaked one with cold water.
She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, feeling very much like this man’s mother and not his daughter as she pressed the cold cloth to his forehead. He needed to eat, and if she could get his fever down, they might be able to avoid a costly trip to the emergency room. Surely he just had a cold or a slight flu bug.
“Dad?” she said, her voice tamer, her pulse calmer. “When did you get sick?”
“Yesterday,” he mumbled. “Just a sore throat. Today…worse. Today’s been worse.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
He lifted one hand like he wanted to do something with it, but it simply fell uselessly back to the bed.
“I’m going to go make some of that chicken noodle soup you love.” Shay didn’t normally let the stuff into his apartment, but she knew he’d have a “secret stash” somewhere. She couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips. Her mother had often spoken of her father’s secret stash of candies, chips, and other treats while Shay was growing up.
Her mom had obviously found them charming, even when she found chocolate on the bed sheets or crumbs all over the countertop. Yes, Shay’s dad had an affinity for foods he wasn’t technically supposed to eat, so he’d definitely have a can or two—or a whole case—of the canned soup Shay had banned.
Sure enough, she only had to push aside three cans in the pantry to hit pay dirt. As she waited for the soup to heat, the last of her anger faded. Not only the anger she had at her father for not calling her, but the self-anger that always took much, much longer to release.
But it was gone, before the soup was even hot. Shay marveled at that, wondered what was different about this frustrating experience that hadn’t been before.
The microwave beeped, and she finished the food prep before walking down the hall to spoon-feed her father noodles and broth. Tomorrow was another anger management class. She’d be sure to talk to Shawna alone, see if she could figure out what she’d done differently this time that she hadn’t been able to do in the past. After all, if she couldn’t learn something from each experience in her life, why did she have them?
Another lesson from her mother, and Shay couldn’t remember when she’d thought of her mom quite so much. And that didn’t hurt quite as badly as it used to either….
As Shay once again marveled at this, she searched for an answer. The only thing she could come up with was…
…Austin.
Chapter Fifteen
Austin stepped into the equipment shed and heard Shay talking, her back to him. His first inclination was to step right back out and let her finish her phone call in private. After all, he’d seen the stiffness in those shoulders before, and nothing good could come of it.
He could also scent her anger on the air, and it wasn’t a smell he liked on her. No, he much preferred the fruity florals she washed into her hair and sprayed onto her collarbone. Or the grease-scented shape of her hands as they stroked his beard.
But the words, “…of course I still want the ranch,” made every muscle, tendon, and bone in his body seize.
Of course she still wanted the ranch. And he was a fool if he ever thought she’d want him instead of the land and house where she’d grown up.
His fury came instantly and hot, and it set his previously frozen body into motion. He stomped back out the way he’d come, making plenty of noise this time. He didn’t care. He wasn’t facing her, and he had no idea if she saw him or not. He slammed his hand into the metal door and exited back into the sunlight.
“I can’t stay on this ranch,” he said to nothing and no one. So he hurried away before Shay could catch him, could call him back and soothe him with pretty words and easy lies and pouty lips.
He didn’t check with Shane about the truck. He’d already mentioned that he’d be going into town that night, so his brothers wouldn’t be using the vehicle. Revving the engine, he tore down the dirt road toward the asphalt, desperate to put as much distance between him and Shay, who “still wanted the ranch,” as possible.
He didn’t make it as far as he’d hoped, but swung under the Grape Seed Ranch sign, almost skidding out he was going so fast. As he came to a stop in front of the homestead, he realized he probably should’ve called first. After all, Felicity and Dwayne had just come home with a new baby yesterday.
Surely they’d had a parade of visitors, and the last one they needed was a surly, angry cowboy who didn’t work their ranch anymore.
And yet, Austin couldn’t get himself to back up and pull away and leave.
He felt the exact same way about Shay.
Could she really be using him to somehow get her ranch back? And how would she even do that? He only owned one third of it, and his brothers would neve
r sell. He didn’t want to sell.
“What do you want?” he asked himself, staring at the front door. It opened, and Dwayne came out, squinting to see who sat behind the wheel. Recognition lit his face, and he waved for Austin to come in.
So Austin got out of the truck, his heart as heavy as his bootsteps as he climbed the steps.
“Hey.” Dwayne clapped Austin on the shoulder. “What’re you doin’ out here lurking?”
“Just….” Austin didn’t know how to finish the sentence, so he just shrugged. “Wanted to see the baby. Is this a good time?”
“Always a good time,” he said, a smile touching his face, erasing some of the exhaustion Austin could plainly see in the lines around his former boss’s eyes.
“What’d you name her?” Austin waited for Dwayne to open the door, and then he followed him inside.
“RayAnne,” Dwayne said. “She’s tiny.” He took a few more steps and called, “Felicity? Austin’s here.”
A loud bang sounded from in the kitchen and a moment later, Felicity appeared, wiping her auburn hair off her forehead. She seemed flushed, harried, and Austin regretted showing up unannounced. But her face bloomed into a smile, and she came forward to hug him, which wasn’t exactly their usual exchange. Maybe for Dylan, but Austin had always had a more formal relationship with Felicity.
“It’s about time you came over,” she said, drawing back, that smile still in place. It seemed genuine enough. “Come meet our little RayAnne.” She led him into the kitchen, where the sweetest dark-haired, dark-skinned baby sat nestled in a bassinet.
Felicity gazed down at her and then carefully slipped her hands under the precious infant and lifted her out of the crib. The baby grunted and gurgled and her eyes opened to reveal the darkest shade of brown Austin could imagine.
He pulled in a breath at the wonder in this tiny human being. “Can I…?” He reached out his arms, as if he knew what he was doing. In reality, he prayed he wouldn’t drop the girl.
Felicity passed the baby over, and Austin got a noseful of powder, which caused a smile to touch his lips. All of his anger quieted, and there was only this beautiful baby and his friends. His pulse returned to normal and he didn’t realize how much tension he carried in his muscles until it released.
And while he didn’t know what was going on with him and Shay, in this moment, Austin didn’t need to know.
An hour later, properly fed an afternoon snack of leftover pizza and Ceasar salad, Austin stood from the couch in Dwayne and Felicity’s living room. “You guys are great. Thanks for lunch. Thanks for letting me come crash here for a while.”
Felicity cocked her head as if she sensed something he hadn’t meant to say. With a jolt, he realized he had. “Why did you need to crash?” she asked, shooting a look at Dwayne, who now held baby RayAnne. He watched Austin with equal interest.
“No reason,” Austin said, the lie loud.
“Things are going okay on the ranch?” Dwayne asked.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” Austin waved his hand like the ranch was the least of his concerns. In reality, he’d never worked so hard, and he couldn’t wait to have his own place to call home. But neither Shane nor Robin had complained about him living with them, so he wasn’t going to be the one who whined about their current living conditions.
“So it’s Shay,” Felicity said.
“No,” Austin said quickly. “Shay is…Shay.” As he said it, he knew it was true. She’d never pretended to be someone she wasn’t. She’d resisted even talking about personal things for months. He had no idea who she’d been talking to, or what the context was. He wanted to find out, but that required questions, and Shay didn’t particularly like those either.
“So what is it?” Dwayne asked.
Austin looked back and forth between the two of them. “It’s me,” he blurted. “I just get mad sometimes, and I need an escape.”
“Like Shane,” Dwayne said. “Have you tried his counseling app?”
Austin shook his head, the explanation getting stuck in his throat. He hadn’t even told his brothers about the anger management classes, and it somehow felt disloyal to tell Felicity and Dwayne when Shane and Dylan didn’t know.
“So what made you mad this time?” Felicity asked.
“Shay,” Austin admitted. “She has a real knack for that.” He gave them a wry smile. “I should be getting back.” Especially since he’d be leaving again in only a few short hours and he still had an entire afternoon of work to accomplish.
He stood and gave Felicity a hug. “Thanks for the pizza. She’s beautiful.” He gazed at their baby one more time, grinned at Dwayne, and left them to themselves.
On the short drive back to his ranch, he practiced the measured breathing Shay had told him about, but it didn’t really lessen the pounding of his heart. Maybe Shay would’ve finished her work in the shed and already be out in the fields.
Of course she will be, he told himself. He’d been gone for almost two hours.
So he entered the equipment shed with sure strides, ready to get his fields plowed and ready for planting before Shane discovered he was a half-day behind. He’d taken several steps before he caught sight of Shay’s streaked ponytail as she whipped toward him.
“There you are,” she said in a snappy voice. “Where have you been?”
His defenses up, he slowed his step and stopped a good distance away. “I went to visit Dwayne and Felicity and their new baby.”
“Why didn’t you answer any of my texts? I even called.” She didn’t seem worried though. Just angry.
“I left my phone in the truck.” And it was still there. He patted his pockets down just to make sure. “I think it’s still there. Sorry.” If he would’ve sounded more sorry, maybe her eyes wouldn’t have flashed so brilliantly.
“You’re sorry? We were supposed to go out to the herd to do the salt licks,” she said. “I can’t go myself.”
Confusion made him frown. “No, the salt licks are tomorrow. We’re finishing the field prep today.”
She shook her head, her mouth in a tight line. “Look at the calendar.” Her lips barely moved, and Austin walked away automatically, the way he used to when he’d first moved in and started working with Shay.
He paused, turned back, and said, “I’m not going to check the calendar.” She wasn’t his boss. Quite the opposite, in fact. “If you say it was salt licks today, I’m sure it was. I made a mistake.” He took a step toward her. “But you shouldn’t be so mad about it. It’s a simple error.” Another step. “What are you really mad about?”
“Nothing.” She turned away from him, a classic Shay move that drove irritation through him.
“Right. Just like whoever you were talkin’ to when I got here today thinks you still want this ranch. I’m sure that was nothing too.” He scoffed, the sound almost a laugh though nothing he’d said felt funny to him.
She spun back to him. “You listened to that call?”
“I walked in and heard you say it. I was in the building for five seconds.” He took another step, and another, and his height caused her to tilt her head back to look at him. “So is that what this was?” He gestured between the two of them, the fire racing through him boiling his blood into lava. “You thought you could make me fall in love with you, and then presto! You’d get your ranch back.”
Fury colored her face. Or was that humiliation? Embarrassment? For a fraction of a second, he thought he saw her break, and then she covered it with her mask. The one she wore practically all the time. The one he’d gotten her to take off with him these past couple of weeks. The one he wanted to shatter and never see again.
But the mask was back, and firmer in place than ever.
He waited for her to deny it, but she didn’t. He gave her time, remembering that she needed it. Shay was smart, deadly smart, but she liked to organize things before she said them. Which had been fine with Austin—until now.
Her fists squeezed and released, squeezed and relea
sed. So did her jaw.
Austin lowered his head, thinking maybe she’d be able to articulate better if he wasn’t watching her so intently. His own negative feelings felt like he’d opened the floodgate and welcomed them in.
“Maybe at first,” she finally said, her voice tight in her throat.
He whipped his eyes back to hers, sure he’d heard her wrong. “Maybe at first?” The words hurt him worse when he said them. “Wow, I—just I don’t know what to do with that.” He paced away, the need to flee as strong as it had been when he’d entered the shed the first time. But he wasn’t his father. He wasn’t going to run from the hard conversations, but meet them head-on.
Why was it so hard to breathe? He swept the hat off his head and raked his free hand through his hair and down his face. When his fingers reached his beard, he recoiled. He wanted to shave his face—right now. Go back to a different version of himself that couldn’t get his heart shattered by three simple words—which weren’t actually simple at all.
He turned back to her, drawing on his bravery to ask, “And now? What is this thing between us now?”
Chapter Sixteen
Shay pressed her tears back, choosing to be strong in this moment when she felt so weak. Austin was clearly doing the same thing, and she wanted him to understand. The only way that would happen was if she talked. He would listen.
“For a while there,” she said. “I couldn’t accept that I’d lost the ranch. Of course I wanted it back.”
Austin simply waited, those eyes encouraging her to continue. “But of course that’s not what I think is actually going to happen. And nowhere near the reason why I agreed to go out with you.”
He folded his arms, his gaze steady, unwavering. His stance basically said, “And?”
“I was talking to an old friend of mine from the base in Georgia, and I haven’t spoken to her in…a long time, and she didn’t understand a lot of the family dynamics, or the mess I found when I got here, and I was just explaining, that yes, I wanted the ranch but well—” She shrugged. “We don’t always get what we want.”
