by Addison Cole
HE’D CHANGED HIS whole life, given up everything to create a garden from seeds she’d planted. She didn’t know what to do with that information any more than she knew how to handle the pained confirmation of how much she’d hurt him. Violet grabbed her beer from the table and guzzled it, wishing she could dive in headfirst.
Andre laughed softly. “That’s one way to deal with it.”
“It doesn’t help. Trust me; I’ve tried.” She sank down to the arm of a chair and said, “Well, if this doesn’t take the freaking cake. You’ve become a modern-day Patch Adams and I’m an inn owner.”
“Tell me about it.” He looked around the cottage and said, “So you own this place, too?”
She nodded.
“And you’re living here full time?”
“I haven’t left the state since I arrived.” She hadn’t realized that until just now, but not only hadn’t she left; she didn’t have the itch to take off like she used to.
“I can’t even imagine it. You were my gypsy, wanting to do so much for so many, content to live with nearly nothing. And now you have all this.”
“I didn’t think I was capable of sticking around, but I didn’t want to lose the only family home I’d ever really known. When Desiree said she was going back to Virginia, I said I’d stay. And once she said if I stayed, she was staying, I knew I had made the right choice. I don’t think I ever knew how badly I wanted to be with her, and know her, until Lizza tricked us into coming here and then took off.”
“Was it hard? Staying at first?”
She nodded. “I missed you so much I wasn’t sure I’d survive.” It still hurts, a hundred times as badly now that you’re here. “Desiree fell in love with Rick the first summer we were here, and that made it even harder. I was happy for her, but it was like tearing open a wound. I thought about reaching out to you once your contract was over, when I knew you’d be back in Boston. But even though I was here, I still couldn’t be the woman you needed.” She didn’t tell him that when her friends had all gone to Boston during the brief period in which Serena had lived there, she had stayed behind. It would have been too hard knowing he was there somewhere.
“Thank you for explaining it all to me.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know if it did any good or not, but I feel like a freaking truck has been lifted from my chest.”
He laughed. “I think that truck took a few rides across mine.”
Gosh, she’d missed him. She wanted to throw her arms around him, to strip off his clothes and love his body the way she’d dreamed about for so long. But he wasn’t like any other man she’d ever been with. She knew what would happen if they made love…
“I don’t know where we go from here,” she finally admitted.
“We could try to start over, but how do I know you won’t bolt again?”
She smiled and said, “Where would I go? I’m home.” She paused, sure he could hear her heart thundering in her chest. He had no reason to trust her, and that scared her as much as being close to him again did. “I’m not sure I know how to do this.”
He stepped closer, his dark eyes imploring her, but for what she wasn’t sure. He smelled familiar, and when he brushed a lock of hair from her shoulder, his touch sent heat skittering along her skin.
“Do what, exactly?” he asked softly.
She could barely breathe, but after years of hiding from her feelings, she didn’t want to hide anymore. “Be near you without wanting to be yours.”
“Then maybe we need to find a new beginning, because it sounds like the very heart of who we each are has changed, and we both have some trust issues to work on.”
She wasn’t sure what that meant. A new beginning as friends? Or a new beginning that might lead them to separate worlds? She was too afraid to ask.
He took a step back, putting space between them, and her heart sank. He was quiet for a long moment, looking at her with a mix of emotions, which she was also afraid to define. And she hated being afraid.
There was only one way to get past fear. She needed to face it.
“Isn’t now when you’re supposed to kiss me?” she challenged.
The edge of his lips quirked up, and he said, “Actually, I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Andre Shaw. I travel most of the year providing medical care to families in developing nations.”
Tears burned again, and she hated that, too, even though these were happy tears.
“Darn it, Andre—”
She went up on her toes and crushed her lips to his, praying he wouldn’t turn her away. When he kissed her back, the knots in her chest loosened. And as he took the kiss deeper, everything else failed to exist except his mouth loving hers, his strong hands holding her. All she heard, all she felt, was blood rushing in her ears, her heart pounding against her chest. And then it happened, just like it always had. Her legs weakened, her insides softened, and her entire body melted against him. She needed to get a grip, but he tasted so good and right, and oh, how she’d missed him! She never thought she’d have another chance at seeing him again, and here he was, kissing her back.
But if she didn’t stop, she wasn’t going to. And then what?
Crap. Crap, crap, crap.
She didn’t know how to have a new beginning. She wasn’t like most women who knew exactly what to do in relationships. What if she messed it up again?
What if I don’t?
Holding on to that thread of hope, she reluctantly broke the kiss, breathless and wanting. She licked his taste from her burning lips and managed, “I’m Violet Vancroft. I own Summer House, and the cottages.” Don’t stop there. Say something. Anything. Just don’t let it end. “I live next door, and I haven’t traveled for more than two years. You can walk me home if you’d like, but you’re not coming inside my cottage.”
“Aw, Daisy—”
“Violet.” It killed her to correct him, but the way he said Daisy, laden with love, hadn’t changed one bit. If he said her name like that she’d have no chance at going slow.
“Violet,” he repeated, reaching for her hand. As they walked out his door he said, “Why can’t I come in?”
“Because I like you too much. But if you don’t piss me off, I’ll give you a freaking mind-blowing good-night kiss at my door.”
Chapter Five
“HAVE YOU MADE any decisions yet?” Andre held his cell phone to his ear as he stepped out his front door, feeling refreshed after finally having a good night’s sleep.
“Sort of,” Brindle said. She was still in Paris. “I think you were right. I need to face this pregnancy head-on.”
Brindle had planned her vacation to Paris to figure out what she wanted out of life, and then she found out she was pregnant. She and Andre had connected while there, commiserating over love, life, and what it really meant to be happy.
“Good. I’m glad, babe.” He headed for the inn, instantly spotting Violet’s silky black hair. Relief swept through him. Even though she’d said she had nowhere to run, he wasn’t sure if she’d had second thoughts and would ditch him this morning. She didn’t need any particular place to run to. She was the queen of finding her way. After all, she’d had to do it her whole life.
“By the way,” he said, “thanks for your advice. I took it and came to the Cape with Lizza.”
“And…?”
Violet was eating breakfast at the table in the side yard at the inn with Desiree, Serena, Chloe, and Emery. Her new family. He was glad she’d found them, even if it had caused him years of grief. “The woman I told you about owns the cottage I’m staying in.”
“Owns? I thought you said everything she owned could fit into a duffel bag and that she never stayed anywhere long?”
“Everything she owned used to fit in a duffel.” Violet’s eyes met his, hitting him with the electric jolt of a defibrillator. “But I guess people change.” He walked into the fenced-in area and waved to Rick, Dean, and Drake, who were coming up from the beach, shirtle
ss and sweaty. “Listen, Brindle, I’ve got to go, but I think you made the right decision, and I’m here if you need me. Let me know what happens when you get back to Oak Falls.”
He ended the call, and as he slipped his phone into his pocket he noticed Violet was scowling and pointedly avoiding his gaze.
“Did you say Oak Falls? As in Oak Falls, Virginia?” Desiree asked as she poured syrup over her waffles.
“Yes. I was just catching up with my friend Brindle. She’s from Oak Falls.”
“No way. Brindle Montgomery?” Emery said as she glanced at Desiree, who was watching him and Violet like a hawk. “Desiree, Gavin, and I are all from Oak Falls. Violet lived there too, until she and Lizza moved away.”
“Gavin was just there for a weekend over the summer,” Serena said.
“Wow, small world. I met Brindle while I was in Paris attending a conference. She’d never been there before, so I showed her around.” Andre realized Violet had never mentioned the name of her hometown. He looked over, but she turned away and shoved a piece of a muffin in her mouth.
Chloe handed him a plate and patted the chair beside her. “Sit down and have some breakfast. We have lots of extras. Des and Rick might not have left for their honeymoon yet, but it is officially on, if you know what I mean.” She winked, and Violet glowered at her. “What? Everyone knows Desiree makes fabulous breakfasts when she and Rick have a great time the night before.”
He couldn’t react to that strange explanation. He was too busy wondering if Violet was jealous over Chloe. If she was, that was new too.
“Breakfast fit for a king,” Rick said as he and the guys came through the gate. He leaned down and kissed Desiree. “Hey, beautiful wife. This looks delicious.”
Dean pulled out the chair beside Emery and said, “I’d say fit for several kings, right, doll?” He leaned in for a kiss.
Andre got up and sauntered around the table.
“Several hot kings,” Serena agreed, holding a forkful of waffle up for Drake as he took the seat between her and Chloe.
“There is a lot of extra food,” Emery agreed. “Matt, Mira, and the kids almost never come to breakfast during the school year, Gavin had an early meeting with a client, and Daphne couldn’t make it because she’s organizing something for her book club.”
“I’m in the book club,” Chloe said, watching Andre. “Daph’s putting together the itinerary for our next in-person meeting.”
“I had no idea you knew how to read,” Serena teased.
Emery waved at the food and said, “Andre, grab some breakfast and tell us how Brindle’s doing before these two start bickering.”
He knew Brindle hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet, so he said, “She’s doing well. Enjoying her vacation.” He piled fruit and eggs on his plate, and then he sat beside Violet and said for her ears only, “Good morning, gorgeous. Did you sleep well?”
“I don’t know,” she grumbled. “How did Brindle sleep?”
He chuckled. Oh yeah, you’re jealous all right.
“How close were you and Brindle?” Desiree asked.
“Did you two hook up in Paris?” Emery asked. “I’d imagine she’d be all over a good-looking guy like you.”
Now Chloe, Desiree, and Violet were giving Andre the stink eye. Oh no. What did I do?
A motorcycle roared up the driveway, drawing everyone’s attention.
Violet mumbled, “Oh crap,” as the guy climbed off his bike and pulled off his helmet.
“Oh my gosh!” Emery pushed to her feet. “That’s him! That’s Vi’s naked man! Six-pack Jack! He’s the guy from her kitchen!”
Dean grabbed the back of her shirt, pulling her down to her seat as he rose to his feet and the others gawked at the big dude walking up from the parking lot. “Justin Wicked? He’s the guy you saw naked?”
“You banged Justin?” Chloe asked Violet. “Where have I been?”
Andre ground his teeth together. No guy in your life, huh?
Violet pushed to her feet as Justin walked through the gate and said, “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, babe. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Justin glanced at the table.
Andre stood up beside Violet, holding Justin’s gaze. He was a muscular guy, and the way he was looking at Andre told him he was possessive of Violet. Who wouldn’t be? He was a fool to think she wouldn’t have replaced him after so long. He strode past Violet and said, “It was nice catching up.”
Violet grabbed his arm. She pointed at Justin and said, “You. Sit down and eat breakfast. I’ll be back in a minute.” She dragged Andre out of the gate and away from the inn.
“You don’t owe me any further explanation,” he said.
“Shut up.” She let go of his arm and said, “That’s the guy I told you about when we were together. The one I’ve known since I was twelve.”
“Great. And he’s in your life in a bigger way now. Just own up to it, Violet. Emery seeing six-pack Jack in your kitchen is a dead giveaway that I’ve been played.”
Her nostrils flared. “I never played you. Yes, he’s in my life in a bigger way, but not the way you think. He’s been part of my life longer than almost anyone. He was consistently there for me as a kid, and we reconnected when Lizza tricked me into coming back. And yes, we slept together a hundred years ago as teenagers—and again that first night I came back to town, when I tried to bang you out of my system. But you know what? It didn’t freaking work. Nothing worked.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he seethed between clenched teeth. “That you slept with him to forget me and failed?”
“Does it matter? So, Justin and I have history together. If you can’t deal with that, then that’s on you, because I can’t change it. I get that you don’t trust me to be honest with you, and I don’t blame you because I was the jerk who left without a word. But I didn’t lie last night, and there’s no way I’ll let you think I’m lying now when I’m not. Justin and I are friends.”
“It took you three months to make love to me, but you came back and jumped right in the sack with that guy?”
“I trust Justin. What would you rather I did? Sleep with a stranger?”
“Hardly. I was a fool. All that time we were together, and I thought you trusted me.”
“It’s different! I trusted Justin to protect me from myself. I trusted you with my heart. I haven’t had sex with Justin since then, and yeah, Emery saw him in my kitchen naked. Big freaking deal. You of all people know I don’t have hang-ups about naked bodies. They”—she waved toward her friends and lowered her voice—“don’t even know I can sketch a naked body, much less sculpt one. They sure don’t understand the idea of sleeping next to someone naked without having sex with them. The night before Emery saw him, I was having an especially hard time and he ended up sleeping over. Sleeping, not banging. Don’t you get it, Andre? Sex has never meant anything to me beyond…I don’t even know what. It’s been a means to try to feel something, or maybe to feel nothing. I don’t know.”
“Then why did it take you so long to open yourself up that way to me?”
“Because being with you, sharing everything that has ever meant anything to me—things I’ve never confessed to anyone about my family, about me—and just kissing you, holding your hand, sleeping wrapped up in your arms without even having sex, turned me inside out. If that makes me a loser, then it does. When we finally made love, it was more than I could handle. The emotions were too big. It scared me. I didn’t even know who I was, melting at your touch. Literally turning to mush inside like a weak, ridiculous girl. That’s how much I love you!”
Fire flamed in her eyes. She threw her shoulders back as she jammed a finger into his shoulder and said, “And who are you to judge me? How about Brindle? Is she the reason you have faith in love tattooed on your shoulder?” She poked him again. “You professed your feelings for me last night, pretended you’d never gotten over me, and meanwhile you were doing some chick in Paris? H
ow does that make you any better than me?”
“I didn’t sleep with Brindle,” he said sharply. “She’s a friend going through a hard time. She’s the one who convinced me to take Lizza up on her offer to come here, and an hour ago I was thanking her for doing just that.”
“And now…?” She lifted her chin, but that foot was turned in, diminishing the fight left in him and drawing out the truth.
“Now I’m wondering what else we should lay out between us so we can stop fighting and put all this hurt behind us.” He was breathing too heavily to regain control of his emotions, so he went with it and laid it all on the line. “I tried being with other women to forget you, but no one could replace you. It’s been a long time since I even tried. And I have a tattoo that says faith in love because of you. It was supposed to be a reminder every time I look in the mirror not to let what happened between us turn me into an acidic, virulent man who doesn’t believe in love or happiness. But all it did was remind me of you and how much I wanted to be with you and only you.”
He exhaled loudly, feeling like a balloon that had lost all its air. “Darn it, Violet.” There was no more anger to spew, no more hurt burning inside him. He swept his arm around her waist, pulling her closer, and said, “You love me, too.”
Her eyes widened a fraction, as if she couldn’t believe he knew the truth, and just as quickly, acceptance settled in the beautiful green eyes he’d seen in his dreams for so long.
