“Or maybe trying to run toward finding your real mother?” Tears were winding down Katie’s drawn cheeks. God help him, he wanted to sweep her into his arms and hold her safe from a world that had gone so terribly wrong for her since the moment she was born.
Katie shrugged. “Maybe. Donna officially became my foster mother after that. I lived with her for two years and she helped me on so many levels. I received my falconer’s license thanks to her. Working with the raptors calmed me. It still does.” Katie touched her stomach. “I can’t explain it, but I’ve always had this anxiety. The only time it goes away is when I’m with the birds. It’s as if they understand me. They accept me for the way I am and they give me so much in return.” Katie saw Joe nod, his mouth tight, as if holding back an unknown emotion. Feeling the connection with him strengthen, she added, “Very soon, Donna is moving away to take care of her aging mother in Idaho. She contacted Iris Mason and asked her to help me out, and she did.”
Her story tore at his heart. Joe felt sympathy for Katie, and something else so unexpected he couldn’t articulate it, even in his own mind. Gently, he reached out and touched Katie’s shoulder. “Iris is a guardian angel and Donna’s truly a mother to you, Katie. At least you got to know what a real mother would have been like.”
“I’m grateful to Donna for saving my life.” Her tone turned anguished. “And yet, to this very minute, I want to know my biological mother.” Katie’s throat closed with tears. She couldn’t get out the words to tell Joe her biological mother was a convict. The shame was just too great and she didn’t want the man to think ill of her. Still, as she lifted her head and drowned in his softened expression, she knew Joe would keep her safe from the insane world. He would protect her. And no man in her life had ever made her feel secure. Not until now...
CHAPTER SEVEN
XAVIER LOBOS SAT smoking with Janet Bergstrom in the office of Mercury Courier. She was behaving like a giddy schoolgirl after they’d had sex all night. He was tired, but he had to think clearly. Sneaking into the U.S.A. in disguise twice a year was damned dangerous. If border officials recognized him, he’d be arrested and his ass would be tossed in federal prison for a long time. Janet looked insanely happy. Xavier suspected she had no other man in her life but him. He hated to think about having sex only twice a year. That was insane to him. His wife was eager to please him several times a week.
“I’m going to leave you a hundred thousand U.S. dollars,” he told her, sipping his coffee.
“Me?” Janet’s brows flew upward. “For what?” Xavier always brought money for her business. But never that much.
“I’m expanding your business, mi corazón, my heart. I want you to drive over to Jackson Hole, lease building space and create a second courier business there.”
“Jackson Hole?” Janet rubbed her nose and looked through the haze of smoke at her lover. “Why there?”
“Because my cartel needs to expand. A Mexican cartel is moving into the town. I need to establish a foothold.”
“That’s dangerous, Xavier.”
He laughed. “When isn’t it?” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’ve brought Eduardo Vargas with me. He’s one of my best lieutenants and speaks fluent English. You will hire him to run your business in Jackson Hole.”
“Do I have to be there?”
Shrugging, he said, “You’ll be driving back and forth, of course. And at first, you need to be there full-time in order to get it up and running.” He set the black cowhide briefcase filled with money on the desk and opened it.
Janet gasped. “My God, that’s a pile of money, Xavier,” she said, her voice hoarse. She stood and stared into the briefcase. Her heart started to race with excitement.
Picking out the wrapped bills, Xavier stacked them into three different piles across her desk. Pointing to the first one, he said, “This first one is for the yearly lease and redecoration. You will make it look exactly like your business here in Cheyenne.” He pointed to the second stack. “This is to rent an apartment in Jackson Hole. You’re going to need a place to live.”
“You do know Jackson Hole is like Palm Springs, California? It’s expensive as hell, Xavier.”
He slid her a sly smile. “I’m assuming one hundred thousand dollars a year will keep you well cared for?”
Stubbing out her cigarette, Janet grinned. “Yeah, I think it will. Thank you.”
“The third stack is for daily operating expenses.” He stared hard at her. “As usual, you never put any of this money in the bank.”
“I understand. Anyone putting over ten thousand bucks into a bank gets an automatic red flag with the FBI. Don’t worry, it will be stashed under my mattress.” She grinned.
“Just keep cooking the accounting books, Janet,” he warned her. “That way, your IRS will see this as a natural outgrowth of the money you’re making here in Cheyenne. I do not want to raise their curiosity.” He stared into her murky, blue, red-rimmed eyes. She’d done a lot of coke last night and was still coming down.
Janet walked around the desk and threw her arms around him. Kissing him on the mouth, she said, “I’m yours, Xavier. I always have been. Thank you for taking such good care of me. You are my knight in shining armor.”
Tolerating her sloppy kiss and the red lipstick haphazardly smeared across her lips, he returned her embrace. But not with equal passion. He gripped her shoulders. “I have much to do today. And so do you. Make the calls to a real-estate agent over in Jackson Hole. I’ll be back tonight and you can tell me of the progress you have made.”
Happiness filtered through Janet as she regarded the stacks of bills before her. “Only one more night with you,” she said in a whining tone. “I hate seeing you only twice a year, Xavier. I wish...I wish you could visit more often.”
“So do I, mi corazón.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m off. I have to drive to Casper and check on things over there. I’ll be back tonight and we’ll talk more about your second courier business when I return. Adios...”
* * *
SHOULD SHE CALL Janet Bergstrom or not? Katie’s hand hovered over the phone in her suite at the Elk Horn Ranch. The clock on the wall read 7:00 a.m. Yesterday, she’d had an emotional meltdown and blathered part of her past to Joe. Though she was ashamed of herself, Katie shored up her strength. Sleeping poorly, torn between denying Janet was her mother and wanting desperately to meet her, Katie had gotten up at 5:00 a.m. She’d made coffee, read Norah’s report once more and stared at the mug shots of her mother on the kitchen table.
It didn’t matter. Katie felt her heart tearing open in her chest. This situation was driving her mad. She had to know. She had to make this call. Would Janet answer? Oh, God, she was scared of her mother’s reaction. Wiping her wrinkled brow, Katie took a deep breath. She had to try...
* * *
THE PHONE RANG. Janet scowled. Xavier had just left and she was getting her office in order for the day’s business. Hell, it was only 7:00 a.m. Mercury didn’t open up until 8:00 a.m. Probably some jerk wanting a package sent overnight and desperate to find someone to do it. Hesitating, Janet waffled about whether to answer it. Maybe it was Xavier. No, he never used land-line phones for fear of being tracked by the FBI and ATF.
“Damn,” Janet muttered, jerking up the phone. “Mercury Courier, can I help you?”
There was silence at the other end of the phone.
Janet grew agitated. “Hello?” Her voice was hard and gruff.
“Hi...”
A soft, feminine voice came over the phone. Janet scowled. “I can’t hardly hear you. Can I help you?”
“Uhhh...yes, I’m calling for Janet Bergstrom. I— Is she there?”
What a ditz, Janet thought. Whoever it was sounded frightened. Just her luck to get someone like this when she was busy. “This is she. Who am I talking to?�
��
“I... Janet, you don’t know me and I’m sorry to bother you at this time of the morning, but I had to call. I’m Katie Bergstrom. A private investigator found out that you’re my biological mother. And I was hoping to make contact with you.”
Shock rooted Janet to the spot. Her eyes widened enormously. My God! Her mouth dropped open. Fingers tightening around the black phone, Janet croaked, “Daughter? What are you talking about?” Her mind whirled with confusion. A private investigator had found her? Part of her had wanted to contact her long-lost daughter. And now...of all things, was this really her? Licking her lips, Janet said, “How do I know you’re tellin’ the truth?”
“I’m your daughter, Janet.” Katie reeled off the name of the hospital and the date when she was given up.
Sitting down, Janet felt fear race through her. Heart pounding, she tried to think through the haze of the drugs left in her system. Resting her elbow on the desk, hand pressed to her brow, she stammered, “Where are you calling from?” How had a private investigator found her? Rattled, Janet heard the younger woman’s voice fill with tension.
“I’m calling from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Janet. I was wondering...could we meet sometime? I’d really like to talk with you.”
Janet’s fear ratcheted up. Her stomach, which had always been her weak point, twisted into a painful knot. The tears in Katie’s voice were real. “I don’t know,” she said in a harsh tone to cover her fear. “I need to think about this. Those records were sealed with the state. You aren’t supposed to know who or where I am.”
“I know, I’ve wondered how you are and I’ve always wanted to meet you. I don’t expect anything of you. I just would like to see you...just once. Please?”
“Dammit, give me your phone number. I’m busy right now.” Janet heard Katie’s gasp over the phone. Wincing because she was scared and didn’t know what to say, she scribbled down Katie’s phone number. “I gotta go—”
“Wait! Can—can you tell me when you’ll return my call?”
“I don’t know!” Janet growled. She slammed the phone down, breathing hard. Rubbing her face, she tried to think straight. Dammit, of all things! What was she going to do? Hand shaking, she grabbed for another cigarette from the pack on the desk. The lighter shook as she lit it. As she dragged in puff after puff, Janet tried to ignore the yearning deep in her heart. Her daughter had just called! Janet realized her mistake. When she’d given up her newly born daughter, the nurse had asked what last name would she give the baby. Janet hated the drug addict who had gotten her pregnant. She’d have been damned if she’d given this kid his name and so had given her the name Bergstrom, instead. What a stupid move. Janet sat there wondering why she hadn’t given the kid a name like Smith. That was how the investigator had found her. It was too late now. Damn...
Finishing off the cigarette, Janet pulled open a drawer where she had some rolled joints stashed. Right now she needed one. Her heart was pounding with dread. Guilt washed through her, making her feel edgy and rattled. What was she going to do about the phone call? Hadn’t she wanted to meet Katie? Yes. That’s why she’d sat at the Elk Horn Ranch gate twice, gotten cold feet and couldn’t face the girl. She’d driven back to Cheyenne feeling like crud.
Getting to her feet, Janet shoved the chair back against the wall of her small office. She shakily lit the joint and inhaled. She closed her eyes and willed the calm that always came from getting stoned. She desperately needed fresh air. Opening the back door, Janet walked into the alley. After six or seven puffs, she finally calmed down. At one end of the alley she watched cars moving back and forth, people on their way to work. What the hell was she going to do about Katie’s unexpected phone call?
Emotions Janet had buried years ago roared back to life. She closed her eyes. Memories came with those emotions, too. She saw herself on the delivery table, grunting and groaning. She was swearing like a trooper at the nurses and doctor. She swore at the man who’d nailed her with this unwanted kid. Yet, when her daughter was born, wiped off, wrapped in a soft pink blanket and placed upon her chest, Janet had stopped cursing. The baby weighed five pounds and was wrinkled. And when she opened her huge blue eyes for the first time and looked directly into Janet’s eyes, something beautiful happened. Janet felt her heart open like a flower and she began to cry as she hesitantly touched her daughter’s thin black hair.
As much as Janet wanted to forget that miraculous moment when she’d felt clean and happy, she couldn’t. And she’d never forgotten the innocent babe in her arms. Not ever. As much as Janet wanted those memories and feelings to leave her alone, they never did. Now...Katie...Katie Bergstrom had called her out of the blue. Rubbing her face, Janet felt tears jam into her eyes. Her daughter had more courage than she did. Oh, God, she couldn’t cry! She hadn’t ever cried about giving up her daughter. Not now! Hardening herself against those tender emotions, Janet willed them away.
Desperate, she felt she needed to talk to Xavier. She relied heavily upon him. He knew she’d given up her daughter. It wasn’t a secret, but it was shaming to her. Xavier had never seemed to care about her choice one way or another. He made sure when they had sex that she would never have a child by him. He was married and already had a family, and he wasn’t about to spawn a brat from her, he’d told her once.
Mouth pinched, Janet slowly trudged toward the door of her business. Yes, Xavier would have the answers she sought. He’d just given her a huge raise, a ton of money, and more than anything, she wanted to please him. He’d know what to do. And whatever he decided, Janet would blindly follow his decision.
* * *
JOE ENTERED THE raptor facility at 8:00 a.m. just as Katie was feeding the birds. He hadn’t slept well at all last night. Dreams of Katie—of her as a human being, not as a suspect—haunted him. He slid the glass door shut and called out, “Good morning...”
In Sam’s mew, Katie straightened up when she heard Joe’s voice. The golden eagle was sitting on his perch, sated from his meal. “Good morning, Joe.” She forced a smile she didn’t feel. Joe looked exhausted. In fact, he had dark circles beneath his eyes as he sauntered down the aisle toward her. His brown hair gleamed from a recent shower. Sensing more than seeing Joe’s protectiveness toward her, Katie didn’t trust herself around him right now. She was too upset from speaking to Janet this morning.
“You must have come in early. You’re halfway through the cleaning,” he observed, looking at the mews on the other side of the aisle. All the raptors had clean water and their mews were spotless. He saw how pale Katie looked, her eyes sad. Joe struggled to stop caring about her, but it was impossible. Right now, she seemed utterly defeated and alone.
“Yes, I am,” Katie said. She cringed beneath Joe’s perusal. His mouth was tight with concern. God, how she wished she could hide her feelings. She was an open book, with every emotion written across her face. Today she didn’t have the strength to hide them. Joe cocked his head, studying her in the building silence.
“Are you okay?”
Katie moved in a jerky motion to pick up some white fluff Sam had preened out of his breast earlier. “I’m fine.”
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
Katie moved around the mew. She felt trapped. How desperately she needed to talk to someone about the phone call she’d made to her mother. Iris was away on a business trip to Montana. And her foster mother, Donna, was now on her way with a moving van to take up residence in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Katie felt the two women she trusted with her heart had been taken away from her when she needed them most. She could tell these women the truth and they wouldn’t judge her. Katie had relied heavily upon them, especially at times like this.
Turning, her hand filled with feathers, Katie hesitantly met Joe’s gaze. “I lied to you. It’s been a very upsetting morning.” She opened the mew, stepped out and locked it. Joe moved aside and she saw his worried look turn t
o genuine concern.
“Do you want to talk about it, Katie?”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment, as if to find the words. “I feel like I’m using you, Joe. Yesterday was bad enough. You had to listen to me...”
To hell with it. Joe reached out and briefly touched her shoulder. “I don’t consider any personal conversations a yoke around my neck, Katie. I care for you.” There, the words were out, never to be taken back. Katie’s eyes widened. All Joe wanted to do was protect her. He removed his hand from her shoulder. “Why don’t you stop for a break? I see coffee’s made. We can take five and chat.”
Idle chat wasn’t what it would be, Katie realized. Her skin tingled pleasantly where his fingers had grazed her shoulder. Joe’s touch had calmed her; it had been exactly what she’d needed. “Yes, that sounds good.”
“Great, come on.” Joe led the way.
Katie placed the feathers in a cardboard container in her desk as Joe came over with two cups of coffee. He handed one mug to her and sat down on the chair beside her desk. Almost reluctantly, Katie sat down. She wondered what Joe would think once she’d spilled the whole story about her mother. Most people didn’t have a convict in their family tree. Katie wrapped her hands around the mug. “Joe, I feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick when it comes to us. Yesterday I dumped on you. Today, I will, too. You weren’t hired to be my therapist.”
“Katie, I think you’re an exceptional person. I see the way the raptors respond to you. They love you. I’m already learning so much from you about them. I don’t consider our talk yesterday as ‘dumping’ on me. We all have problems. And it’s nice to find a friend who is willing to listen, don’t you think?”
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