I kissed him. “Well, you are.”
“Wow, pressure’s on.” His lips brushed against mine as he spoke.
I smiled. “No pressure. You’re a natural.” I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, then slipped it into his mouth.
He cradled the back of my head, tilted his mouth and twirled his tongue along mine. He pulled slightly back. “Maybe it’s not just me.” He kissed my bottom lip. “It’s us. We complement each other.”
“Mmm, we are pretty good at this.”
I felt his mouth curve into a smile. “Too good.”
He slid his hands under my shirt and wrapped his arms around me. They were strong and enveloped me in a sense of security. I wanted to get lost in that feeling. As if nothing could hurt me—that wasn’t reality, but for the moment, my escape.
My fingers glided over his shoulders then outward to his arms. “You have super sexy arms too.”
He laughed. “Man, I could get used to this. You can just hang around complimenting me until my ego explodes, inevitably taking us both out.”
“You started it.”
“How’s that?” His mouth quirked up as if amused by me.
“You said I was beautiful.”
“That wasn’t a compliment. It was the truth. Something I’ve always thought, and it just felt like the right time to voice it.”
The words had been flattering, even if they were a generic compliment, but hearing this blew my mind.
“You don’t look like you believe me.” He trailed his finger along my jaw then brushed it over my cheek.
“It’s just…I don’t know. What makes me beautiful, you know?” I pressed my finger to his mouth. “And that’s a rhetorical question. Don’t answer.”
“Even if I want to?”
I shook my head. “Nope. It’d be like I forced an answer from you. I’d never believe it.”
He narrowed his eyes slightly then shrugged. “Fine. But I wouldn’t have said it had I not meant it.”
His phone rang again from the table.
“Maybe you should get it this time. Could be important.”
“I suppose. But I’m pretty comfortable.” He glanced down at my body settled snuggly over his.
Sliding off him, I said, “We can get comfortable again after you get your phone.”
With an overdramatized sigh, he said, “It better be important.” He grabbed his phone off the table and answered. “Hey, Sis. What’s up?”
He looked at me and mouthed, “Not important.”
I grinned back then faced the TV.
“A message? Earlier? No, I didn’t get it yet. I’ll have to check. Ever since I updated my phone, messages have been crazy. They don’t come through until I manually open my voicemail.”
Everything he said following that was drowned by the pulsating swoosh of blood rushing into my head. His voicemail. My phone call. He hadn’t mentioned it because he probably hadn’t heard it yet. Holy shit. I was so fucked. Here I thought everything was perfect; I should have known somehow I’d fuck it up. Just like I’d told Mason.
“Okay, I’ll listen to it now. Talk to you later, ʼbye.”
Maybe my message wouldn’t be there. Maybe it’d be muffled. Oh, please let it have vanished into cyberspace or something.
“My nieces apparently left me an adorable message.” He air-quoted “adorable.” Then sat next to me as he tapped a button on his phone. His phone dinged with voicemail notification and my heart stalled.
He lifted his phone to his ear and smiled as he listened to what sounded like a thank-you from Ava and Mia. “Okay, that was pretty adorable.”
He pulled the phone down and I exhaled. The message wasn’t there.
His phone dinged again. “This crazy-ass voicemail. It’s all jacked—Wait, when did you call me?”
“Please don’t listen to that,” I blurted.
He grinned. “Okay, now I have to hear it. Was this last night? Were you drunk? Did you drunk-dial me?” he teased. But it was too late, he’d already lifted the phone.
Bile rose in my throat and the room became a thousand degrees hotter. “Please. Don’t.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” He grew quiet and listened. “I don’t hear anything. Wait. You didn’t mean to call, did you? Is that another guy?”
I put my face in my hands. Cade was quiet as he listened. And I prayed for a giant black hole to open and swallow me.
His phone made a soft thump as he tossed it onto the coffee table. The couch moved with him as he settled back.
“You can uncover your face now.” His tone didn’t sound angry but I still couldn’t face him. His hands slid around my wrists and gently tugged, forcing me to lower them.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, annoyed that I didn’t even have my own car to leave.
“Was that your roommate?” he asked.
I nodded, my face still tucked down.
“And…her boyfriend?”
“No, her best friend.”
“So you told your roommate about me?”
I could hear the smile in his voice and looked up.
“I mean, I assume you don’t know a bunch of ‘therapy dog’ guys named Cade, but I could be wrong.”
“You aren’t pissed about what you heard?”
“All I heard were some friends teasing you…about me. They think you want me. Bad.” He grinned.
“And what I said?”
“Were you serious? Because to me you sounded annoyed, maybe even defensive. And considering you stayed home last night and are with me tonight, I don’t think you really planned a, how did you put it? ‘Weekend fuckfest.’ ” He bit back a smile.
“You were never supposed to hear that.” I crossed my arms. “And I expected you to be upset, not tease me about it.”
He grabbed my hand. “C’mon, I’m sorry. Did you want to have a weekend fuckfest? I don’t want to interfere with your plans.” He tugged my hand, urging me to look up. “Look, we can have one. I’m game. Don’t stop on account of me.”
“Shut up.”
His hand made its way to my arm and he slid me along the leather couch, and tucked me into him. “Quit being all grumpy. I’m RSVPing to your fuckfest. I mean, I’ve never had one, but it seems pretty self-explanatory.”
“You’re an asshole.” And by that I really meant the most perfect fucking guy ever. Who hears something like that and plays it totally cool?
“So, am I also supposed to bend you over a table or something? Because I think your roommate might have mentioned that as well.”
I shoved him back while trying hard not to smile. “I hate you.”
He laughed and scooped me into his lap. “If it makes you feel any better, my roommate knows I have the hots for you too.”
I rolled my eyes.
“When he couldn’t stop checking you out at Spike’s, I made it abundantly clear that he needed to keep his eyes—and hands—to himself.”
I buried my face in my hands and shook my head. “I can’t believe you heard the whole damn conversation.” My words were muffled.
“It’s not a big deal.” It was quiet for a second then he strummed his finger along the arm of the couch. “Soo, when does the fuckfest start?”
I swatted his chest. “Stop. My roommate’s best friend was pissing me off, but I’m not having a fuckfest with anyone.”
He shifted, laying me across the couch, and settled over me. “While I’m glad to hear you aren’t having one with just anyone, I’m not going to lie. I’m pretty bummed you aren’t at least having one with me.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?”
“Your smile.”
“What?”
“One of the things that makes you beautiful.” He ran his thumb just under my bottom lip. “Your mouth is perfect, but when it pulls into a smile, well, it pretty much takes my breath away. Why do you think I tease you so much?” He placed a soft kiss against my mouth. “I always want to make you smile.
”
When I felt the little pricks of tears, I clamped my eyes shut.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered. “Open your eyes.”
I forced back the emotions as my eyelids fluttered open.
“Are you upset?”
I shook my head. “You’re just too fucking sweet. What am I supposed to say to all of that?” With a smile, I sniffled. “I don’t even know where to begin with a guy like you.”
Scout’s head popped up from where he’d been lying on the floor, like the second I sniffled he came to full alert. He nudged the side of my face with his nose and I laughed.
“That’s right. Make her feel better, boy.”
Scout licked my ear.
“I didn’t say make out with her. I said make her feel better. Man, it’s like he’s out to make me jealous or something.”
I smiled at Cade as he rolled on his side and tucked me against him.
He draped his arm over my waist. After a moment, he said, “I know I said we’d hang on the couch all night, but this really isn’t that comfortable. Is it?”
“Not really.” I laughed. “We can go to your bed.”
“I thought we’d cancelled the fuckfest.”
I elbowed him in the gut and he buckled, almost knocking me onto the floor. He caught me at the last second.
“Okay, let’s move to my room before you end up on the floor.”
Scout followed at our heels as we entered Cade’s room.
To the right was a bookshelf and desk combo with a laptop on it. To the left, his unmade bed, which was covered in a dark brown comforter and several pillows. It looked slept in and inviting. Straight ahead was a large metal crate with an overstuffed dog bed tucked inside. The door was wide open and Scout headed right inside.
“Don’t tell my mom I don’t make my bed.” He smirked then opened a door near the desk. “Here’s the bathroom if you need it.”
I glanced inside then back at him. We stared at each other for a second then he scratched his head. “Do you need something to sleep in?”
“Maybe a shirt?”
He stepped into the bathroom and went through another door. He came back out with a T-shirt for me.
“Thanks.” Figuring there was no point in modesty now, I tugged off my shirt and pulled on the borrowed shirt. It slipped down my body as I unsnapped my shorts and let them fall to the ground. I scooped up my clothes and turned to Cade.
He stared, like get-that-boy-a-cold-shower stared. I hadn’t thought much of my undressing, considering I’d kept everything pretty well covered as I’d done it, but he seemed to enjoy it.
I set my clothes on his desk chair then walked back over to his bed. He pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his shorts. And then it pretty much made sense. Watching someone take off their clothes could be really freaking hot, even if they weren’t getting naked.
I climbed into bed and scooted toward the wall.
Cade flipped on a lamp and turned off the overhead light. The second he laid down there was a rustle and Scout jumped up on the bed, wedged right between us.
I laughed and scooted back. “Um, am I in Scout’s spot?”
“He sleeps by my feet sometimes, but usually he prefers the crate. I swear this dog is like…”
“Cockblocking?”
Cade laughed. “Exactly.”
I patted Scout’s head and he scooted closer to me. “He’s pretty cuddly, maybe I can sleep with him all night.”
Cade frowned. “Not cool.”
Scout hung his head back, partially upside down, tongue lolling to the side, and looked at Cade.
“I think he’s taunting you.” I ran my hand down Scout’s head, earning me a sloppy dog kiss under my chin.
“Um, yeah. I’d say.”
I stroked his silky fur and stared at Cade’s ceiling. “Can I ask you something? And please don’t take it the wrong way.”
“Sure.”
“Can we keep this between you and me? At work, I mean. Because of the position—”
“I know. You don’t have to explain it to me. It’s important to you. I won’t tell anyone about us.”
Us. There was an “us” now. It made my chest feel fluttery and tight all at once. “Thanks.”
“Once the internship is over, would you still want to keep it secret at work?”
That position didn’t start for two months. Cade expected us to be together in that much time? I smiled. “No, just during my internship.”
I glanced over at him but ended up staring at Scout who’d slowly inched himself closer to me. Big brown puppy eyes met mine; he nudged me with his nose, as if encouraging me to say what was on my mind.
“I was also thinking…maybe it’s best we don’t have sex during my internship.” I bit my lip and held my breath.
“Okay.” Cade answered with no hesitation and I wished I could have seen his face.
“Thanks.”
“For what?” he asked.
“Understanding.”
“Fallon, this isn’t about being understanding. We don’t have to have sex today, in three weeks, ever. If and when we do, it’ll be because we both want to. Earlier, I was caught up in the moment. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured to make that decision now.”
“I’m not pressured. It’s just…I don’t want you to think I’m not interested or turning you down or anything. It’s just a lot of things.”
“I’m not going to take it personally if that’s what you’re worried about.”
But would he take it personally if he knew how many guys I had said yes to? Scout nudged my hand and I resumed petting him.
Cade went on, “I’d never want you to regret it later.”
And I never had regretted my past…until that moment. “Cade, the other—In the past—Shit,” I mumbled not sure how to explain my mistakes without painting myself out as a slut.
“Is the past.”
“I didn’t sleep with all of them. Despite the rumors.”
He was quiet for a second. “Okay.”
“And they meant nothing.”
“Can I ask you something?”
I flipped onto my side and ran my finger through Scout’s fur. “Sure.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah, Cade, you do.”
“Crate up, Scout.” The dog instantly hopped off the bed and disappeared into his crate, leaving Cade and I staring at each other. “That’s all that matters.”
“It seems pretty backward, I know, but all these crazy feelings are the whole reason I can’t have sex with you.”
His eyebrows pushed together. “Can’t or not ready?”
Fuck, I’d slipped up. I looked away.
“What is it you’re not telling me?”
I covered my face and groaned. “I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. It’s like every time, I just get so wrapped up in talking with you and petting Scout, next thing I know I’m blabbing all my secrets.” I sat up. “That’s it. It’s Scout. He’s like some weird doggy truth serum. Is he trained to do that?”
Cade smiled. “He’s trained to comfort people, put them at ease. Therapy animals are proven to help with pain, coping, anxiety. It’s possible you are finally saying things that weigh heavily on you. But, no, he’s not truth serum.” He stared at me then asked, “Would you like him back on the bed?”
“How bad do you want the answer to your question?”
“Scout, come here, boy.”
He jumped back on the bed and nestled his way between us.
“Are you really sure you want to know all this?” I asked.
“You said ‘can’t,’ Fallon. There’s a big difference between ‘I’m not emotionally ready’ or ‘I just don’t want to’ and ‘can’t.’ ”
I sighed then blurted, “I don’t really enjoy sex.”
He shifted onto his back and crossed his arms behind his head. “Maybe it’s just the people you’ve been with.”
I didn’t want to tell him it had been
enough guys to have a good sampling of the population. “I don’t think that’s it. Because I want to, and everything goes great, until the actual sex. It wasn’t always that way. My ex, he was my first and it wasn’t bad with him, but then he dumped me and I went out of my way to disassociate feelings with sex. I think I did too good of a job.” I scratched Scout’s scruff and he rolled onto his side, placing a paw on my hand. “When I go through with it, I end up shutting down. It’s awful and I just want it to be over. I like you, Cade, a lot, I don’t want to ruin that with sex.”
“Hmm, yeah, that would suck. I definitely don’t want you to do something you aren’t into.”
“But that’s the problem, I feel into it, and then I’m not.”
“And once you realize you aren’t, it’s over. I mean, with the guy, right? You never call him; he never calls you. You lose interest.”
“Yeah,” I admitted.
“And this is why you have one-nighters.”
“Yep.”
“You know I’m not interested in only one night.”
“I know, and this is why I said can’t.”
Cade sat up and, with his palm facing out, signaled toward the foot of the bed. “Scout. Back.”
Scout crawled back and rested at our feet.
Cade laid back down, facing me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“We have time to figure it all out. Right now, this is enough.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “To be honest, and I know you don’t agree, but I think you’ve been with the wrong people.” He pressed his lips to my head and whispered, “But I’m terrified to try and prove it.”
I sighed, understanding exactly where he came from. “I’d like to think you’re right, but I’m not ready to lose this if you’re wrong either.” I snuggled into him, not sure if I was more surprised I’d admitted all this to him or that he actually wanted to stick around even knowing the truth.
Chapter 12
I woke the next morning snuggled into a warm body; unfortunately, it was Scout’s. Cade’s spot was empty but the air was filled with the scent of breakfast. The last thing I’d eaten was a princess cupcake yesterday afternoon. My stomach rumbled.
I slid off the bed and padded to the kitchen, followed by Scout.
Just a Little Flirt Page 13
