“Glad to know I wasn’t the only one having impure thoughts that day.”
“Speaking of impure thoughts, I may have to detour somewhere around your chest because we both know I can’t resist those sexy arms.”
“I wouldn’t mind the detour.”
“I’d eventually get back on course to the place I really want to go.”
“Where’s that?”
“Well, I’d slide my hands to your pants, inch them down…”
Cade let out a shaky breath. “You really want to do this?”
“I don’t know. Never done it before.” I ran my hand over my stomach trying to calm the butterflies. The tequila gave me courage, but the fear of sounding like an idiot still hung over me. “Do you want to?”
Cade’s voice deepened. “Right this second—considering you’ve already got me rock hard—yeah.”
Shit that was hot. A flutter of heat rushed up my chest. “What would you want to do if I was there right now? On top of you. In just panties.”
“I’d like to say I’d take my time enjoying you, but truthfully, if you were straddling me in nothing but panties right now, I’d tug them to the side and push deep inside you.”
I whimpered and rubbed my thighs together.
“And I’d touch you. Where do you want to be touched?” The rawness of his voice was even sexier than what he’d said.
“Everywhere.” I squirmed under the sheet.
“Show me.”
“You can’t see me.”
“I have a good imagination. Just touch yourself wherever you want me to touch you.”
I ran one hand over my chest. “Here.”
His breathing picked up. “And?”
My dress bunched around my hips as I pushed my other hand down my body and slid it over my panties. “And especially here.”
“Under your clothes.”
What? How did he know I was still over my clothes? “How did you—”
“I know what you sound like when you’re being touched right.”
Wow.
I took a deep breath and slid my hand into my panties. As my fingers skimmed over my heated flesh, I gasped.
Cade made a satisfied sound. “Mmm, you know in my mind there’s nothing between us right now. Just you hot and wet, and me, deep inside you.”
My body was wound up and I wished he really was there to push inside me. The burning between my legs was unbearable.
“So how does it feel when I’m inside you?”
“Um.”
“Improvise. One hand is touching you, so the other one…”
“Oh.” My drunk brain was slow to process how this whole thing worked. Cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear, I moved my other hand down my body and slipped a finger inside, first one then two. “Oh, shit.” My breathing kicked up and my hips rocked against my hand.
“Does it feel good?”
“Mm hmm.” I replayed everything from the night Cade and I had sex. Recalling the way his lips felt on my skin, his tongue creating a warm path over my body, his hands skillfully mapping my curves and him inside me. The satisfying burn, the slow thrusting, the fullness.
“Shit, Fallon. You’ve got me so fucking—”
His voice enveloped me, words whispered in my ear. My breathing turned into several soft moans.
“Are you—”
“Mm hmm.” I rocked my hips faster, breathing ragged.
Cade murmured something about me being hot and how bad he wanted me, but it was all just sexy background noise as I worked myself up and over the edge. My body began to shake and I bit down on my lips.
Cade’s breathing came to a sudden halt as I suppressed a moan, turned whimper. My whole body convulsed around my hand and then I went limp.
“Fuck.” He gasped for breath.
I wanted to curl into a ball and sleep tucked into Cade, but he was a thousand miles away.
“Wow.”
I was at a loss for words myself, though that one summed it up nicely. His deep sexy voice, instructing me, guiding me. I could get worked up just thinking about it again. “Yeah.”
“I still wish you were with me.”
“Me too. Especially since you do it so much better.”
Cade chuckled. “Good to know. And I plan on it, as soon as you’re home.”
Chapter 22
My dreams had been choppy, all over the place. And some parts more interesting than others. Thing was, I don’t think it was all a dream, even if it sure as hell felt like it.
After showering and dressing, my hangover was nothing more than a dull headache and loss of appetite. Thank God. If Mom suspected a hangover, it wouldn’t be pretty. My life was my choice for most of the year, but the second I stepped into this house, my choices were somehow her failures and she loved to lecture me. She’d taken the week off from work to spend time with me, but something had come up and she had to run to the office for the morning. That meant Amber and I were the only ones home until lunchtime, but she hadn’t come out of her room yet.
I headed back to mine with some water and ibuprofen. My phone chimed with a message from Cade. Settling back into bed, I read the screen.
Cade: How you feeling?
Me: Headache. Generally shitty.
Me: So I feel like I had a really weird dream last night.
Cade: Oh?
Me: I asked you to be my boyfriend. You said you loved me. Then we had phone sex.
Cade: Um…
Me: Not a dream?
Cade: Nope.
Me: Huh.
Cade: I’m sorry. I knew you were drunk, but I didn’t realize you were that drunk.
Me: Don’t be sorry. I’m not mad. It all just has this weird dream feel to it, like it happened but didn’t happen.
Me: I feel bad for putting you on the spot with that whole boyfriend thing.
My phone rang. Cade flashed across the screen. “Hey,” I said.
“Did you mean it last night?” he asked. “About the make it official, boyfriend thing?”
“Yeah, I did. I just wished I’d approached it differently or, you know, not backed you into a corner.”
“Fallon, I would have gladly asked you to be my girlfriend if I didn’t worry it’d send you running. Everything I said last night I meant. I wasn’t the drunk one, remember?” His tone was teasing but he also sounded nervous. Like maybe my drunkenness impaired my judgment and made me spout things I hadn’t meant.
Time to clear his concerns. “I would have said yes. Even if it scared me and made me a little nervous. I meant everything I said last night too.”
“So we’re good?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“And the, uh, phone sex? Just pretend it never happened?”
“Are you kidding? That was the icing on the best-conversation-ever cake.”
He chuckled.
“I mean, I don’t know if I could have done it sober but it definitely made for an interesting experience.” It was a blur, but it had been hot. That much I remembered, and just knowing Cade—with his golden boy image—was even into it, well, that was damn sexy. “It was a decent substitute, but you do it better. You do everything better.”
“You said that last night too.” I knew by the sound of his voice he was grinning that panty-dropping grin he’d mastered.
“Well, there you go. I told you. Everything I said last night was the truth.”
“I can’t wait to get you home. Into my bed. Naked.”
Tightness pulled at my stomach. Heat trickled down my body.
He groaned. “You’re killing me.”
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You have no idea, do you? Those little sounds you make on the phone. They’re like—”
“I made a sound?” If I did, it was his fault for saying all those hot things to me.
His laugh was a low, sexy rumble. “Yeah. You were doing it last night too. It gets me all worked up.”
There hadn’t been many phone conversations prior to
me flying back to Colorado. We’d chatted briefly, but mostly texted and hung out in person. These frequent phone chats were uncharted territory.
“Whatever,” I said. “It was your sleepy voice.”
“What?”
“You sounded all, I don’t know, like sex.”
“Ha, okay, time for a cold shower before heading to work.”
It was easy to get lost in the sound of his laughter. It was just so perfect. All consuming.
There was a knock on my door.
“Hey, my sister’s at my door. Call me when you get off work.”
“I will,” he said.
“Okay, ʼbye.”
“Love you, ʼbye.”
The call ended and I stared at my phone as a slow grin spread across my face. He’d said it so quick it was like one long luvyoubye then he just hung up. No chance for me to respond, but clear enough to hear. Crazy boy.
“Come in.”
My door opened and Amber stepped in, her hair in a ponytail, a red cheer T-shirt and little black shorts. She gnawed on her bottom lip.
I sat up, worried something might be wrong. “What’s up?”
“Can I sit down?” She gestured to my bed.
“Sure.” I slid over, the pale pink comforter bunching behind me.
She smoothed my unmade bed then sat.
“Were you on the phone with your new guy?”
How did she know? Dad. Freaking rat.
“Dad told you?”
Her eyes widened. “He knows?”
“Um, yeah maybe. But if he didn’t tell you—”
“The party.”
I waited, unclear what she was getting at.
“You said you’d moved on…to Cameron.”
Oh, shit. An image flashed. Cameron and his stupid cocky grin. Amber, eyes large, slight frown pulling her face into a pout.
I covered my eyes with my hands. “I’m sorry. Dammit. I drank a lot. That was uncalled for.”
“It’s okay. I figured you were drunk.” She picked at her nail polish. “Did he really call you?”
Amber dumping Cameron topped my list of things that should happen. Did I want that to happen because he’d hurt her? No. She was supposed to move on to a new guy on her own, her teenage whims flitting her from one superficial romance to another.
“I’m sorry, Amber.”
She nodded and stared at my carpet. “I didn’t think you were lying but, maybe, a tiny part of me hoped you were drunk and confused or something.” She shrugged. “Was he trying to get you back?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
She sighed. “I’ve had a crush on Cameron for years. The whole time you dated him.” A small smile danced around her lips but her eyes filled with sadness. “He just seemed so perfect and you loved him so much. Anyone who deserved that much adoration from you must be someone special. When he started talking to me, flirting with me”—her smile grew and she stared up at the ceiling—“I thought it’s my turn. Now’s my chance to have a guy love me like that.”
Oh God. She had it all wrong. Cameron never truly loved me. Whatever look she saw was something she wanted to see. What she wanted to be true. Because I knew what love felt like now, and he wasn’t it.
She stood and wandered to my desk. “I kept waiting for it to be perfect. To see that look in his eyes. But in never happened. So I tried harder. Whatever he wanted, I did. Anything to make him as happy as he was with you, but nothing I could do put that look on his face.”
“Amber, I’m so sorry. And you need to know, I never loved Cameron.”
She spun around. “But you said you did. I heard you.”
“I thought I did, but I didn’t know what love was. Until it’s real you never know. What he and I had was special because we were young, but it was immature and based on the people we thought we were. He might have cared about me, he may even think he still does, but I’m not the fifteen-year-old girl he fell for. And I can promise you, he never truly loved me. If he had, he never would have hurt me the way he did.”
“What did he do?” She gnawed her lip again. “I mean, if you don’t mind telling me.”
“He pressured me into having sex with him. Said if I loved him, I’d do it. And I thought he was right. Part of me wasn’t ready, but people who love each other should have sex, right?” I scoffed. “I was so naïve. Love and sex aren’t synonymous. I know that now. And what happened between us was nothing more than sex. Then he dumped me. Claimed he loved me too much to see me go. In reality, he’d just gotten a taste of the non-virgin lifestyle. Why tie himself down with a girl almost one thousand miles away?”
Amber pressed her hand into her stomach, the color draining from her face. “He’s never tried for sex with me.”
I practically bounced off the bed. “So you haven’t had sex with him?” Relief flooded me, until I noticed Amber still frowning.
She stared at me, sadness tugging at her eyes. “Until last night.”
My shoulders sank.
Amber’s bottom lip quivered. “He said that you were jealous and spouting drunk lies. He wanted to show me how special I was, how much he loved me. He said having sex would make us closer.” She shook her head, her eyes glassy. “And I wanted him to love me. I wanted us closer. I thought maybe the reason he looked at you the way he did was because you’d had sex with him, and I just wanted him to love me like that.” Then the tears came. “But it felt all wrong.”
I jumped off the bed and wrapped my arms around her. It was awkward hugging her, considering she was taller and had to lean her head into my shoulder, but it didn’t faze her. She crumpled against me and I led her to the bed. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can never get that back. I will never have a first again. One day, I’ll love someone and I won’t have that to give to him. He won’t be special. It won’t be special.”
With a gentle squeeze of her hand, I smiled. “I can assure you that’s not true. When you fall for a guy, the right guy, you’ll be with him and it will be a first. Nothing you’ve ever experienced up until that point will be like that. It will be special. For both of you. And if he loves you, the only first he will want is that one. It will be enough.”
She wiped at her eyes. “Do you love your new boyfriend? Is he the one? Your first?”
I smiled. “Yes.”
Sniffling, she smiled. “Maybe one day I’ll meet a guy like that.”
“Of course you will. But next time you date a guy, pick the one who looks at you with complete adoration. No one else.”
She nodded. “I will.” She walked to the door but paused. “I never dated him to hurt you.”
“I know. And, Amber, if I see that piece of shit, I’ll kill him. So when you break up, tell him to stay far, far away.”
She laughed. “Who needs an older brother when I have you?”
“You’ll always have me. If you ever want to talk or anything, you can always call. I’ve made enough mistakes for the both of us. You can learn a lot from me.”
Amber’s eyebrows bunched together and she shook her head slightly. “You never make mistakes.”
I sort of snorted a laugh at the ludicrousness of that statement. “I make mistakes all the time. Tons of them. Sometimes I even do it on purpose. Nobody’s perfect, Amber, and if you think I am, let me assure you, that’s so far from the truth it’s comical. In fact, I hope you never make the mistakes I’ve made.”
“I just thought…You have it all together. The grades. The college. The guys.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Are we talking about me here? Trust me, I’m just stumbling through life right now and was lucky enough to stumble into the right person.”
She smiled. “Maybe I’ll stumble into a guy of my own.”
“Try a stairwell.”
“Huh?”
I laughed. “Nothing. Now go break up with that worthless asshole and free your life for someone more worthwhile.”
“On it.” With o
ne quick nod, she headed down the hall.
—
Over the next few days, I spent more time with my family, especially Amber. Somewhere along the way, she’d decided to look up to me and I’d done a shitty job lately acting as a big sister. The breakup with Cameron didn’t seem to bother her, but her choice to sleep with him did. I worried about her, but she was a strong girl. She’d be okay.
Dad was thrilled that they’d split and somehow credited me with talking some sense into her. Mom, on the other hand, seemed to think I’d strong-armed her into it. A part of me wished I could tell her all about the real Cameron, but it didn’t matter. She loved wearing blinders; there was no point in trying to expand her perspective now.
When my time there came to an end, I knew I’d miss my family, but I was still so ready to go home. And home was where Cade was.
I’d decided to surprise him, claimed my flight was much later than it actually was, and then asked Brinley to pick me up. Once home, I changed into his favorite dress and headed to his apartment. On the way there my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Fallon, it’s Victoria.”
I wasn’t expecting “the call” until Friday. Was that a bad thing? Maybe Friday was the offer call, today was the let-them-down-easy call.
“Hi, Victoria.”
“How have you been?”
“Great thanks.” I gnawed on my thumbnail. “You?”
“Good, thanks. So I’m calling to let you know we’ve made a decision about the fall position.”
My throat dried.
“We all agree that you are enthusiastic, work well with children and have been a very beneficial part of our team.”
But…
“Which is why we’d like to offer you a position as a Child Life aide.”
“Oh my God. Really? Wow. I’m honored.”
She laughed. “I thought for sure you knew you had the job.”
“No, I really had no idea.”
“We have steps to go through but the day you interviewed I thought I’d given it away telling you about your recommendation.”
My stomach sank. I did get the job because of Cade. Dammit.
“I had no idea anyone even planned to talk to you on account of me. I’d just hoped my merit would make me a good choice.”
Just a Little Flirt Page 23
