by Cindy Kirk
“Margaret is worth the effort,” Zac said, as if he could somehow read his thoughts from hundreds of miles away. “Whether you choose to try is up to you.”
Cole paused. “You know, I believe you just gave me the same advice I gave you.”
Zac laughed and the line went dead.
Chapter Eighteen
New Year’s Eve Day
Meg sensed something was different the second she walked through the front door. Perhaps it was because Charlie wasn’t running up to greet her. While she’d been out looking at apartments, Travis had called and asked if he could pick up Charlie and have him spend the night.
Saying that the twins would be easier to handle if they had a friend to play with didn’t make sense to her, but she didn’t argue. Meg knew Charlie would enjoy himself. And since Cole had mentioned something about going to a party with Ryan tonight, she’d have the house to herself.
Though it meant she’d be ringing in the New Year alone, at least she wouldn’t have to walk on eggshells all night. Having to be around Cole these past couple of days and pretend everything was okay for Charlie’s benefit had been difficult. But soon, she promised herself, soon she’d have a place of her own. She wondered why the thought didn’t make her happier.
“You’re home.”
Meg’s head jerked up from the packages she was juggling in her hands. Cole stood in the kitchen wearing jeans and a denim shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes.
“I thought you were going with Ryan tonight.”
“Change of plans.”
“Kate unexpectedly available?”
“Something like that.” He gestured with one hand toward the oven. “I have pizza.”
“I’m not hungry—” To Meg’s horror, her stomach chose that exact moment to complain about her skipping lunch.
“It’s hand-tossed pepperoni from Perfect Pizza.”
Meg could feel herself waver. Her favorite kind from her favorite place. Of course, she could always have the leftover meatloaf in the fridge. “Okay. One slice.”
It was the adult thing to do, she told herself. And she and Cole needed to try to get along—at least superficially—for Charlie’s sake.
He held out his hand.
She drew back. Surely he didn’t expect her to put her hand in his? No matter how good he smelled or how handsome he looked, that wasn’t happening.
“Your coat.” The twitch in his lips told her he’d read her mind. “I’ll hang it up while you put your bags away.”
She could feel the heat rise up her neck. If she’d been thinking clearly she’d have known that’s what he wanted. One thing she had to say for Cole, he’d always had the nicest manners. “Thank you.”
As she handed the coat over to him, their fingers brushed. A flash of heat traveled up her arm. She wondered if he felt it, too. But she didn’t look at him, because it didn’t matter.
Still, seeing him, being near him, brought those old feelings flooding back. Perhaps having dinner together wasn’t such a good idea, after all.
“You know,” she said slowly, “I’m really not that hungry.”
Instead of joking around and trying to keep things light as he had the past couple of days, his expression grew serious. “This could be one of our last evenings together. It’d be good to get some closure, to not leave anything that we want to say to each other unsaid.”
A feeling of pure panic rose inside her. Meg didn’t want to talk anymore, to think anymore, to hurt anymore. “I’ve already said everything.”
“You don’t have to talk. Have a slice of pepperoni and just relax.”
Meg hesitated. It wouldn’t take long to eat one slice. And, she reminded herself, he had followed through and promised in writing not to pursue sole custody. Not to mention he hadn’t tried to push her out the door. If he could make a few big concessions, she could make a small one.
“Okay. I’ll put these sacks away and meet you in the kitchen.” Meg walked away without waiting for a response, wishing she had the guts to simply ignore his request.
When she reached her bedroom, she dropped the sacks on the bed. But instead of hurrying down the stairs, she took a moment to run a brush through her hair and put on a little lipstick. Not for Cole, she told herself, but because looking her best would give her the confidence she needed to get through one slice of pizza.
He smiled when she walked into the kitchen. The table was set with a red-and-white-checkered cloth, topped by a bouquet of daisies.
She widened her eyes when she saw the centerpiece, unable to stop the rush of pleasure. “Daisies are my favorite flowers.”
“I remember.”
Meg wasn’t sure what to make of the comment, so she turned her attention back to the table. For some reason Cole had chosen to use Fiesta plates instead of the paper ones they usually brought out when they had pizza. A can of her favorite cola sat next to a glass of ice on the table.
But it was the photograph next to Cole’s plate that drew Meg’s attention. She gestured with one hand toward the snapshot. “What is that?”
“I found it when I was going through my stuff. I thought you might like to have it.” He pulled out her chair and stood behind it, waiting for her to take a seat.
The tantalizing scent of pepperoni hung in the air, and Meg knew that even if she wanted to walk away, her stomach—and curiosity—wouldn’t let her. She only hoped they could eat in silence like they had the past couple of days.
Once Cole was settled in his seat, with pizza on his plate and soda in his glass, Meg picked up her slice. She took a bite, the pepperoni spicy against her tongue.
She looked up to find Cole’s gaze on her, his eyes dark and inscrutable. Her heart skipped a beat at the raw emotion simmering in his eyes.
A sudden ache of longing for what might have been washed over her, startling her with its intensity. Meg found herself blinking back unexpected tears.
If Cole noticed, he gave no indication. After she’d returned the napkin to her lap, he slid the picture across the table until it rested in front of her.
Meg glanced down. She couldn’t help but smile. She vividly remembered when the photo was taken. For February 14, the day had been surprisingly warm. She and Cole had taken a walk in the Elk Refuge after school. That’s when he’d given her the silver heart necklace. Not long after that, he’d asked a stranger to take their picture.
Cole had a huge smile on his face, his arm looped around her shoulders. Her cheeks and lips looked rosy in the photo but the color hadn’t come from the cold. Before the older couple had caught up to them on the path, she’d given Cole a “thank you” kiss and he’d reciprocated by giving her an even more passionate one back.
“It was a perfect day,” he said into the silence.
“It was.” Meg turned her attention back to the pizza. But the stabbing pain in her chest made swallowing difficult.
“I was happy when I was with you,” Cole said in a quiet voice, his eyes taking on a faraway look. “Though looking back I realize that the whole time we were dating I was afraid.”
Afraid? Back then Cole had seemed larger than life to her. Not afraid of anyone or anything. “Of what?”
“I knew if your folks found out we were together, they’d convince you I wasn’t good enough for you.” He shrugged and took a bite of pizza. “They’d have been right.”
Was he joking? The serious set to his jaw said otherwise. Still, what he’d said made no sense. “How could you ever think that?”
“Well, for starters, my family life was one big mess and I was barely passing my classes.” Cole’s chuckle held no humor. “You have to admit, my future did not look bright.”
“You were a good guy. Hardworking. Kind. You always stood up for the underdog.”
Meg stopped. Was she actually defending Cole’s character?
“I didn’t feel good about myself back then. In school I was such a failure....” He stopped and a look of resolve filled his eyes. “I swear I will
do everything in my power to make sure Charlie grows up feeling strong and confident, both in and out of the classroom. Every time I think of Joy and Ty turning down the reading assistance for him, it makes me angry.”
“I don’t understand that, either.” Meg shook her head. “All I can think is maybe it wasn’t explained clearly to them. But then I don’t understand Joy telling you Charlie wasn’t your son, either.”
Meg realized she’d put all the blame on Cole the other night. But she had to admit that Joy had behaved badly and put him in a very difficult position.
“I like to believe that people make the best decision they can at a given time,” Cole said. “Joy was under a lot of stress. She loved Ty and didn’t want to lose him.”
His generosity of spirit could have surprised her, but it didn’t. Cole Lassiter really was a good guy. Her infallible intuition had told her that fifteen years ago, but she’d let hurt and anger guide her actions. Oh, if she only knew then what she knew now....
“I think a lot of people look back on their lives and wish they could have a do-over.” Meg sighed. “I’ve wished that many times myself.”
“A do-over?” The look on his face would have been funny at any other time.
“You know, a chance to go back and do something again, but this time do it right, with all the knowledge and maturity you didn’t have at the time you made your initial decision.” Meg thought of Joy and Ty and how much they’d loved their son. “If Joy and Ty were given a second chance, I like to think they’d make different choices. But they don’t have that opportunity.”
The thought made Meg sad.
“We have that chance, Meg,” Cole said, his voice filled with passion. “This is our opportunity.”
Meg pulled her brows together. “I thought we already discussed the matter and decided that Charlie should be in the program?”
“I’m not talking about Charlie,” Cole said. “I’m talking about us.”
Her heart fluttered wildly in her neck. “What are you saying?”
“That if I had a chance to do it over again, I’d have gone immediately to you after I’d spoken with Ed all those years ago. I’d have given you a chance to explain, like you’re giving me a chance to explain now.”
Here he was again, taking on the burden for that time when, if she’d have kept her mouth shut, the outcome might have been totally different.
“I shouldn’t have said anything to my father.” When Meg had heard Ed’s account, she realized that while it was true that she hadn’t given Cole’s name, his story hadn’t been hers to tell. “I promised I wouldn’t say anything to anyone about your reading difficulties. Even though I didn’t give my dad your name, and I asked him for help only with the best of intentions, I broke that promise. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I can,” Cole said. “And I do.”
Their gazes locked and a moment of understanding passed between them. Healing, cleansing in its intensity.
Meg took a sip of soda and realized she felt better. His absolution had lifted a burden from her shoulders she hadn’t known she was carrying.
Cole cleared his throat. “If I had to do it over—” He paused as if reconsidering. “No, I can’t honestly say that I’d never have become involved with Joy, because that would mean Charlie wouldn’t be here.”
“The thought of you two making love—” Meg gave a little shudder. “It’s very difficult to accept.”
“Joy and I had sex. You and I make love. Very different.” Cole’s tone gentled. “But Joy was right. It’s wrong to have sex with one person when you’re in love with someone else.”
“Joy loved Ty.”
“And I loved you.” Cole studied her face then smiled. “Don’t look so surprised. Joy came to realize that she loved Ty and I realized I’d never stopped loving you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she set up the will so she could do a little otherworldly matchmaking.”
“But she knew how much you’d hurt me.” Meg fought the sting of betrayal. “I don’t understand how she could have had a friendship with you, much less slept with you.”
“Joy and I grew up together. We were both lonely. That’s all I know.” Cole reached over as if to take her hand but seemed to think twice and sat back. “I don’t want to talk about her tonight. I want to talk about us.”
Meg traced an imaginary figure eight on the tablecloth with her finger. “What more is there to say?”
“Well, for starters, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that Charlie might be my son,” Cole said, and when Meg looked up she could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I am sorry, you know. Very sorry.”
“You didn’t tell me because you were planning to take him away from me,” Meg said.
“That is something else we need to clear up.” Cole took one of her hands in his, relieved when she didn’t try to pull away. “I set up that plan with my attorney early on when I thought I couldn’t trust you. But my feelings changed and I saw things more clearly. You are Charlie’s mother now. I would never take him from you. I should have told Brian I’d changed my mind, but I was so excited about where our relationship was headed that—”
“Our relationship?”
Cole smiled. “Give me a second.”
He left the table for a few minutes then returned with a small box wrapped in shiny silver paper with a fat white bow on top.
“Merry Christmas,” Cole said, placing it in front of her.
“I can’t accept—”
“Please,” he said. “Just open it.”
Meg picked up the box. She’d carefully removed the bow and set it off to the side, when a thought struck her. “Since we’re clearing everything up tonight, I have a couple of questions for you.”
He glanced at the still-wrapped gift. She could almost see him rein in his impatience. “Sure. Ask away.”
“Did you by any chance have something to do with Travis calling me and asking Charlie to spend the night?”
Cole nodded. “It was my idea.”
“And Zac?” Meg asked. “He called me today and asked me to tell you thank-you.”
“Your brother and I talked the other day,” Cole said. “But actually he helped me more than I helped him.”
“Good guy,” Meg murmured, recalling that’s how Zac had described Cole.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.” Her curiosity satisfied, Meg returned her attention to the gift. She tore off the paper, lifted the lid and found a shiny silver heart, the size of a big paperweight, inside. “It’s beautiful.”
“Open it,” Cole urged.
Meg lifted the top off the heart then cocked her head. “Shredded paper?”
“That’s the petition for sole custody,” Cole said. “A petition that will never be filed.”
“Well, thank you for that,” Meg said, feeling disappointed but not knowing why. Oh, heck, who was she kidding? She’d found herself hoping that she and Cole might get a real second chance. “The heart is lovely.”
“That’s not all,” he said. “There’s something in the paper.”
Her pulse gave an excited leap. In seconds she’d found it. She couldn’t keep from smiling. “It’s a ring.”
Cole rose to his feet then dropped down to one knee beside her, lifting the diamond gently from her trembling fingers. “There’s one part of my life that I wouldn’t want to change or ‘do over,’ and that is meeting and falling in love with you.”
Meg simply stared, blinking rapidly.
Taking that as a good sign, Cole continued. “I love you, Margaret Fisher. I always have and I always will. You would make me the happiest man in the world if you would agree to be my friend, my lover, my wife…and Charlie’s mother. Together we will forge a life based on honesty, mutual respect and, above all, love. Will you, Meg? Will you be my wife?”
Her lips began to tremble.
His stomach clenched.
Then she smiled, a brilliant smile that lit up the whole room and sent hope flooding through the d
eepest recesses of his heart.
“When I thought you were going to take Charlie from me, I vowed to fight for him because love is worth fighting for.” She reached down and took the ring from his outstretched fingers, twisting the large emerald-cut solitaire so that it caught the light and sent bright sparks of color shooting through the room. “When we started speaking about do-overs, I realized that it wasn’t just you who’d made mistakes. I’d made some doozies, too. But like you, my love for you is something I never want to undo.”
Cole’s heart pounded loudly in his ears. “Was that a yes?”
Meg slipped the ring on her hand then flung her arms around him, peppering his face, his jaw with kisses. “Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”
All he’d ever wanted was reflected in her eyes. Love. Trust. And the promise of a lifetime of happiness.
Laughing with relief and sheer joy, Cole rose and pulled her tight against him, knowing that at last all was right in his world.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. When the New Year’s fireworks sounded over Grand Targhee and Snow King, Cole and Meg barely noticed.
They were too busy celebrating their love by making their own kind of fireworks.
Epilogue
Valentine’s Day
“I thought this was supposed to be a small, intimate wedding reception,” Cole teased his bride as they danced together across the shiny hardwood floor of the Spring Gulch Country Club.
“When you have seven siblings and one of them has five children, it gets big in a hurry.” Meg rested her head against Cole’s black tux, reveling in the strength beneath the fabric and the steady beat of his heart. “I’m glad the country club had a cancellation and we could have the reception here rather than at the house.”
She and Cole had wanted their wedding to take place on a date that was meaningful to them and not too far in the future.
Unfortunately they’d discovered that a lot of other engaged couples felt the same way about February 14. Every reception venue they checked out had been booked for over a year.
