Chorus – I open up my mouth and it’s your voice I hear
Looking at the world through your eyes
Opening my heart like I never have before
Knowing it was you there all along.
It’s been you here all along. (End chorus)
Life has a funny way of testing me.
Throwing curves when straight is all I want.
Whichever way our roads may turn, no matter where I am
I’ll find you, you’ll find me, and together we will land.
Chorus.
My song is mute without my Lyrics
My Lyrics is every song I have sung. ♫
I start thinking about our date, planning what we will do. I send an email to the bar I am taking her to after dinner, asking if I could sing a song while we are there. I take a deep breath and again it hits me that I will be away from her for six months. I drink some water and force myself to shake my thoughts. Of course, she will wait six months. We have something that most don’t have. We have a lifetime of memories and a future with a blank slate. Damn, wish I had put that into my song! I gotta get some sleep. I do not plan to waste our last night together with sleeping!
I wake up at eleven and grab my phone. I text Lyrics, “Remember, don’t worry about the cost! Hope you slept better than I did. Can’t wait to taste you, I mean see you.” Two seconds later, I get a text.
“I was fine with the taste remark! I will find an outfit that will have you drooling and begging. I did not sleep well without you btw. Oh, I can’t wait to taste you either!” Electric shocks start in my heart and end in my balls. God, this woman!
I call the florist and order a bouquet of sunflowers to pick up at six this evening. I am taking her to a French restaurant that she has wanted to try, Chez Nous. After dinner, I am taking her to Sixth Street where we can listen to some live music as well as dance, and I will surprise her with a song. I am certain that we will both be ready to head home after that! My phone rings. Chauncey. “Yes Ma’am.”
She says in her raspy agent like voice, “Hello, gorgeous. Listen, when you arrive in Spain, you guys will meet Jennifer at the airport, and the car will pick you both up and take you to the hotel.” I sigh. She says, “Are you okay?”
I want to scream, no! I say, “Yes, Ma’am, I am just a little nervous to leave for so long.”
Chauncey tells me, “This will fly by. You will be so busy that December will come in no time at all.”
I say, “I sure hope so.”
“Be safe and enjoy the sights a bit too. If you need me, call me.”
I force a smile and say, “Will do. Thank you for everything.”
She quickly says, “Thank you too, kid.”
It’s four o’clock as I hop in the shower. Haven’t heard from Lyrics so I assume she is knee deep in trying on outfits. A smile comes across my face just thinking about her shopping. She is the type of girl that hates shopping. Normally she makes a beeline to the clearance rack, grabs a couple of items, and checks out. She has never understood why so many girls enjoy shopping! I think it is because her Daddy raised her. She thinks it is because she isn’t an idiot. I feel sorry for the lady at the try-on station. She probably has twenty outfits on the “No” rack.
Chapter 11
‘The pages of my life have you inscribed throughout.’
Lyrics –
Our first real date! I have imagined this day for a zillion years now, and of course, it comes on the eve of good-bye! I feel my eyes welling up so I shake my thoughts and simply focus on tonight with him. I bought a white sundress that has red, black, and gray flowers scattered randomly on the material. It is strapless and has a tight top with a flowing bottom. To accompany the dress, I bought a pair of red heels, teardrop earrings, and a very pretty clip for my hair. I want him to fall over when he sees me! Oh yeah, I also stopped at Victoria Secret and picked out a pair of black undies and bra…per his request. I have never been so excited for a date and at the same time experiencing preemptive sadness.
It is four o’clock as I jump in the shower. I start thinking about the time when I was in tenth grade and there was a Mother’s Day celebration. It seemed like everybody had their mom with them except for me. Tanner walked into the auditorium with his mom and they came directly to me. On her shirt was a sticker that says, “Mother of Tanner and Dylan.” This woman has been there for me for every event that a mother would be at, and then some! I have always felt part of the family but the idea of being legally part of the family someday, is a completely different feeling. Just when we finally happen, he is leaving for S.I.X months! I feel like screaming but I would probably bust a blood vessel in my eye and I’d be too ugly for him to kiss…and God knows I want to kiss this man…over and over and over!
I decide to straighten my hair and curl the ends, even though the humidity is bound to curl it all up anyway. I put just a bit of eye makeup on and get dressed. The fashion gods are with me because everything looks perfect. I pull just the front of my hair back and let the rest drape down over my shoulders. It is 6:45 and Tanner knocks at my door. I grab the button down shirt I got him and open the door. He is holding an amazingly beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers…of course he knew that. His eyes open wide and his mouth falls open. He says almost breathlessly, “Oh my God, you are so beautiful.”
I blush. He hands me the flowers, as I walk to set them on my table, I turn around and say, “Mmmm, those jeans! Really, we don’t have to go anywhere.”
He smiles and says, “Let’s go now because in a minute I’m going to take you up on that offer.” He puts the shirt on and instant dry mouth sets in! His shaggy brown hair always looks perfect. His eyes are so golden tonight but have a wash of sadness over them. We head to the door and he turns to me, puts his hands on either side of my face, and gently kisses me. He takes a deep breath and tells me, “Lyrics, please push us out this door.” I didn’t really want to but I did.
He opens my car door and I climb up into his truck. He gets in and I excitedly ask, “Where are we going?”
He smiles, grabs my hand, and slyly says, “You’ll see.” On the drive, he plays a cd that we made about thirteen years ago. He keeps glancing at me and I can’t imagine what life will be like without him. What the hell am I going to do? We pull into the driveway of Chez Nous, the French restaurant that I have wanted to eat at for ages. I can’t suppress my smile, which makes him grin hugely. We walk in hand in hand. The maître de escorts us to a corner booth and right away Tanner orders a bottle of Meursault – Marchand. He breaks off a piece of bread and lathers it in whipped butter then hands it to me. I swear I want to attack him right now. There is some butter on his finger so I take his finger, put it in my mouth, and give it a little bit of a hard suck and swirl…just to get him a bit uncomfortable in those deliciously fitting jeans. He inhales and says, “Check, please.” We both laugh. When the waiter arrives to take our order, Tanner says, “We would like to start with a half dozen Escargot please. We will be splitting the Poisson roti a l’anis and the Filet de boeuf au poivre, medium rare please.”
The waiter nods and says, “Fine choices sir.”
I smile and can’t believe the level of sexy that just leaked out of him! As soon as the waiter gets out of earshot, I ask Tanner, “So, what are we eating?”
He tells me, “Chilean sea bass and Pepper crusted beef tenderloin. I googled reviews and they said these were the two best items on the menu.”
Holy shit that is sexy! “Wow, you really are amazing!”
He gives me a smile that makes me melt like the warm butter on this bread. “The night is just beginning, besides, you deserve for it to be perfect!”
I am completely fucking speechless! As I open up my mouth to say something very sexy, this comes out instead, “Tan, I don’t care where we eat; as long as we eat each other it will be perfect.”
He almost chokes on his wine. “Really, eat each other? Hell yea.”
I must have blushed fif
ty shades of red, because I could feel the smoke coming off my cheeks. I say, “Eat with each other! Well actually, I’ll stick with my first version.”
Tanner shakes his head, “Yeah that is definitely better!” Thank God, dinner arrives.
After the most delicious dinner we have ever eaten, Tanner pulls onto Sixth Street in downtown Austin and says, “Let’s dance!” He knows I am always ready to dance. We head into The White Horse Country Bar and he orders us two whiskeys on the rocks and two Stella beers. We have always been competitive with one another, so he taps his glass on the bar and looks at me…I know it’s on! I grab my whiskey and shoot it back and then my chug my beer as fast as possible without barfing all over this hot ass dress. He wins! He drinks beer quicker than I do.
Tanner leans into me, whispering, “What the fuck am I going to do without you by my side?” He holds me closely and I can feel the angst he is feeling.
My heart is breaking and I want to tell him so badly to stay but that is not what best friends do, they help build one another up! I kiss his lips, then his cheek, and then put my mouth to his ear and whisper, “We will call each other, text, and video chat all the time. I love you and will always love you. Besides, I will get so much writing done!” Tanner puts his hand behind my neck and brings me into his mouth. I get lost in his emotions while keeping mine well buried! His other hand cups my face and his tongue owns my mouth. I start to tear up and my breathing becomes labored.
He pulls back and says, “Baby, please don’t cry, please.” I look up and get control of myself. He excuses himself and heads toward the restroom. I order us another round but pound my whiskey before he gets back and then I order another. When he comes back, we drink our drinks and then he leads me to the dance floor.
The live band announces, “This song is from Tanner to his Lyrics.” I almost crap! The band starts playing Kenny Chesney’s You had Me from Hello. We begin to move slowly and our bodies mold as one. His smell is intoxicating to me and each time his skin grazes mine, he leaves me with a trail of warmth and tingling. This song says so much about us, and the fact that he requested it is mind blowing. God, I love this man of mine. I know how childish it sounds but I believe nothing will ever tear us apart. True love is forever!
Chapter 12
‘You are the Lyrics to my song.’
Tanner –
Holding Lyrics and leading her as we dance makes me realize how much this girl means to me. She is fucking everything to me! I take a deep breath and her scent sends chills down my spine. For so long now I have protected her and made sure that she is fine. How can I protect her from across the Goddamn world? I would never forgive myself if something happened to her while I was gone. I want to back out of this stupid shoot. I want to stay so badly, but I know she won’t let me…this I fully know! The pain in my body is almost too much to bear; I mean I can’t breathe. This girl, she’s my homie, my compadre, my love, my life!
When the song ends, I walk her back over to the bar and I head back to the stage. The lead singer hands me the microphone and I look into the crowd and see many faces that I recognize. Many girls I recognize all too well. I’m super fucken nervous because this is the first song that I’m singing that Lyrics did not write. I clear my throat and notice the shock on Lyric’s face, which instantly makes me relax. “This is a song I wrote last night. I call it The Lyrics to My Song.” The crowd applauds and I start playing the guitar that the house band let me borrow. I’m having a harder time than I had expected getting through this song without breaking down. When I finish singing, the crowd goes wild. I look to my right and Lyrics is climbing the steps to the stage. She has tears pouring down her face as she wraps her arms around me and I lift her off the ground as her legs embrace my body. These fucking tears won’t stop flowing. I don’t want to let her go…ever.
She whispers in my ear, “I’m pretty sure my ass is totally hanging out of this dress right now. Let’s go home.” I put her down and fix her dress. I have no doubt what she means by let’s go home. I weave our hands together and lead her to the car. Neither of us have the right words to speak, which is fine because we know each other well enough not to let this be weird. I help her into my truck, putting on a strong front. When I close the door, I take a deep breath and convince myself I can do this. I get in and she smiles at me. I can do this. Lyrics says, “That was the most beautiful song I have ever heard. Thank you so much. When you get home, we need to put that on stage.” I look at her and I want to ask her to marry me so badly but I am all too aware of how cliché that would be. Marry me…gone six months…how lame! I take her hand and trace it with my finger. Maybe I want it etched in my brain for while I am gone. The ride home is silent but the sadness is concert level loud!
When we get into the door of her apartment, my heart isn’t the only thing pumping hard! I take her purse and throw it on the couch, push her up against the door and take ownership of her: her mouth, her body, and, God willing, her mind. In some sick way, I think I am claiming her, but the way she does not resist at all reminds me that I don’t have to, she is already mine. I lift her into my arms and lay her on the bed. I gently slide her beautiful dress off her and the underwear ensemble she is wearing mesmerizes me. When I stand up to slide my pants off, I look at her lying there. This woman takes my breath away. Jesus, she is gorgeous. Her long blonde hair sprawls out and her milky skin seems to sparkle with the moonlight that shines in from her window. And those legs, those long curvy legs that awaken every nerve in my body. I want to taste every inch of this woman, I want to paint her perfect canvas with my tongue. I take off everything except for my boxers, and then I make my way to her legs. I drag my hands along the inside of her thighs, spreading them further apart. She is so smooth, so delicious. As I taste her skin, she is moaning quietly which is sending me into a completely new dimension. The black sexy panties definitely deserve my attention. I rub my thumb over her panties and feel that she is soaking wet, which makes me instinctually want to fuck the shit out of her. I fight the urge. I slip my finger under her panties and she begins to buck against my hand. I rip off her panties. The wetness makes her pussy glisten and I can’t wait another second. I plunge my finger inside of her and want to fuck her so hard. I have to taste her right now. As I am licking up her juices with my tongue, the noises and movements she’s making are driving me crazy. The way her clit balls up and pulsates is begging me to be relentless and demand her to cum on me. I slip another finger in and start rubbing her inside as I flick, suck, and lick every part of her perfect mound. She is moaning aloud, has her fingers locked in my hair, and yells, “Tanner, oh God. I love you, baby, I fucking love you.” Her whole body tenses up, the walls throb against my fingers, and I am certain that the moment my dick gets inside of her, I will explode. I lick all the juices off her and I am enjoying seeing her bounce as I graze her clit. I need to be inside of her, buried deep within her, and right now.
I climb on top of her and want to live here. The thought of her not being right down the hall from me is such an uncomfortable thought. I just want to be lost in this moment and never come out. She reaches down and grabs a hold of my shaft, making me totally forget what I was thinking. She rubs it up and down her wet slit, and I am fighting to remember how to breathe.
She whispers, “You feel so good.” I thrust myself into her, and the tightness and warmth feels like home to me. I can’t stop kissing and biting her lip, I mean, her taste is hypnotizing! She feels so good. I feel her body tensing up against me. I wrap her up in my arms and am fully inside of her, as deep as I can be. Grabbing her hips and fucking her so hard, we breathe in unison and speak no words. As I feel the wetness and pulsing of her orgasm, I can’t help but to cum as well. I stay inside of her and have tears falling from my nose onto her face. I am fucking dying inside!
I have to be at the airport at 7:30 a.m., so we set the alarm for 6:00 and spend the rest of the evening touching, talking, kissing, and laughing. Neither of us wants to go to sleep but we drift
off at around 3:00. The alarm turns on at 6:00 and I feel like taking a bat to it, but I know we have to get up. We shower and I get dressed. I only have one carry on because The Gap will provide all my clothes. Apparently, I have to wear only Gap clothing during the whole six months! There is a tension in the apartment, which we don’t talk about, but the forced smiles say it all. We embrace in a long hug, and I reassure her that I will be home soon and if she isn’t here, I will chase her down until I find her and get her in my arms again. Lyrics says, “Can you at least tell Jennifer that I am super strong and will break her skinny neck if she touches you?”
I laugh and say, “Nope, no need. I only want your hands touching me. Well not just your hands! Your body, your lips, your tongue, and of course…your…!” Lyrics laughs and we head out the door.
Chapter 13
‘Your absence leaves emptiness all around me.’
Lyrics –
My heart is beating so fast, I swear I am having an anxiety attack. He is really leaving. What will I do? He is my best friend in the entire world. He is my lover. He is everything to me! As if he knows I am freaking out, he reaches over and grabs my hand. Tanner says, “Damn girl, you are going to be so sexy driving my truck.”
I smile and say, “Hell yeah, I will!”
He raises his eyebrows and then says, “Dylan, I meant what I said to you last night or this morning. You and I belong together and if anything should happen, I will never stop chasing you until you remember!”
He squeezes my hand and I say, “You better!”
As we come to the airport signs, I get an enormous feeling of hatred for the stupid place! Tanner finds the right spot, pulls over to get his things, and then take off. The airport staff tries to rush us off but Tanner tells them to give us a minute. They listen, which is crazy because they are rushing everybody else away! Tanner sets his bag down and pulls me in for a hug. He lifts my face and wipes my tears away. He softly kisses my mouth and says, “December will be here before we know it. Call me please. Be safe and smart; please don’t walk out to the parking lot alone. Remember, your heart belongs to me forever. My heart is yours forever. I love you Lyrics. Send me the new songs you write and I will practice singing them.”
Chasing Lyrics (Music & Lyrics #1) Page 5
