by Kaira Rouda
He was certain he was having a stroke.
He heard a voice through the fog. It was hers and she was talking to a waiter who had appeared at the table. “He’ll have a breakfast burrito, two eggs over easy for me, two coffees, two waters,” Madison said. Once the waiter disappeared, she said, “Josh, I’m worried about you. What’s going on? You need to take some deep breaths.”
Josh did as he was told and felt a little better. The water arrived and he was able to take a big gulp. That was a good sign, he thought. His hands seemed to have stopped shaking. “Geez, Holls, I don’t know what happened back there,” he said, and his voice was in the normal range although a little faint.
“Maybe it was hypoglycemia or something? Low blood sugar?” she said. The halo was disappearing and she just looked like herself again, albeit with a lot more makeup than usual. Then he remembered why and his stomach turned. You can’t do this, you’re not good enough, said a voice in his head that sounded like his father. Josh looked around the restaurant to be sure his parents hadn’t sat down near their table. His parents weren’t there. He was fairly certain he was losing his mind, and beginning to believe his father had been right all along.
“I wouldn’t get stage fright after all these years, right?” Josh said, taking another deep breath, hoping Madison could reassure him just as she’d done during high school. She was the solid rock in the storm of his privileged life, even while she seemingly had nothing and he appeared to have it all.
“No, of course you wouldn’t,” Madison said. She was staring into his eyes, and Josh was certain she knew exactly what was going on, whatever it was. “But I’m sorry you won’t be in my segment with me. I really went out on a limb today. I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself, like before.”
“I think you’re going to have a lot more segments where that came from. Roger was enthralled with you. All the crew was. I could tell, even through my low blood sugar thing,” Josh said, and he was starting to believe Madison was right. He was hungry, that’s all.
“Oh no, my Mondrian segment is all I’m doing. I made that clear. I’m going to shoot an intro at Fisherman’s Cove, with you, and then get back to my real life,” Madison said as their food was served. “My life is perfect just the way it is. Bon appetite!”
Josh smiled and then dove into his breakfast, taking a big bite and hoping somehow the meal would fix whatever was wrong with him. They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Josh felt himself beginning to relax. Madison had been right. All he’d needed was a good meal with his best friend; his incredibly beautiful, forever sexy best friend. Well, truth be told, he needed her back in his life. Not just as a BFF, but as his life partner, his forever love.
After he made it through today’s filming, he decided, he was going to win her back. The surfer dude Dolby wasn’t right for her, Josh was. He’d always been.
“Feeling better?” Madison asked. Her hands were wrapped around a glass of water with lemon floating on top. Her eyes were a deep blue, and she flashed him a big friendly smile. She could be a movie star, he realized.
“I’m always better when I’m with you. It’s true. Always has been,” Josh said. His hands had stopped shaking and his breathing was back to normal. His stomach, now filled with a hearty, healthy meal, felt better, too. He was ready to tackle the day. “Can we, you know, start over again? Sally is moving out, your surfer guy seems like he is too.”
“Josh, let’s get through today, ok?” Madison said, and then waved the waiter over for the check.
“Put it on room 235, please,” Josh said. And when the waiter left, added, “Sure, one day at a time. But I’m sure being at Fisherman’s Cove again might stir some good memories for you, too.”
He saw Madison blush, even through the heavy makeup, and knew she remembered that make-out session as much as he did. Josh looked up towards the restaurant entrance, just in time to see Marty as he crossed the patio headed towards their table.
“Marty’s coming over here,” Josh said as Marty appeared at their table.
“Good, there you are, it’s time to go,” Marty said, a thin shine of perspiration on his upper lip, his green eyes flashing between Josh and Madison. “Madison, my dear, you can either change here or on location, although I’ll tell you it’s pretty primitive down there. We’ll have a tent, a port-o-john but that’s it. Josh you have your bathing suit, right?”
“It’s over there with the stylists,” Josh said, pointing to the crew assembled on the grass.
“I wasn’t aware there was a wardrobe change.” Madison said as Marty walked behind her chair and slid it back. Madison stood, her eyes locked on Josh.
“We’re in bathing suits, at the beach, get it?” Josh said, standing. “Unless you aren’t cool with that.”
“I’m not,” Madison said, crossing her arms at her chest. “But again, you can shoot without me. I’m really fine with that.”
Marty exhaled loudly as the three of them stood around the breakfast table.
“How about a compromise? Madison puts on the bathing suit but adds a cover up. I’ll still wear my board shorts, but I’ll add a T-shirt. Good?” Josh looked at Madison as he asked the question.
“As long as I have wardrobe approval, I guess so. Does that work for you Marty?” Madison said.
“It changes the shot. Roger isn’t going to be happy,” Marty said, shaking his head. “Let’s go run it by him. After you.” Marty followed Josh and Madison as they walked out of the restaurant.
“Seems like he’ll be happy as long as Madison is in the segment,” Josh said, as they crossed the grass headed toward where the crew was congregating. Josh smiled at Madison as she shook her head. Josh fought the urge to wrap his arm around her but he hoped she could tell he was protecting her, standing up for her wishes.
“Take it or leave it,” Madison said as they neared the lawn where the crew had gathered with the equipment, packed up for the next location.
“We’ll take it, dear,” Marty said before walking away from them headed directly toward Roger.
“They just don’t stop pushing do they?” Madison said. “They’ll exploit whatever they can.”
“Gorgeous bodies make for great television, Holls, you know that,” Josh said. Before he could stop himself, he’d pulled her in for a hug. He felt her melt against him and his heart soared. But then she pulled away as Roger crossed the grass, walking quickly toward them. His lips were drawn into a tight smile, his short round body an incongruous addition to the sunbathers who were beginning to fill the lounge chairs by the pool.
“Look, I like you, both of you, but it’s not your show, it’s mine,” Roger said, his orange framed glasses glowing in the sun. “If I say your wardrobe is x – then it’s x.”
“Then I quit,” Madison said. She held her hands up, palms facing Roger and started backing away.
“No, we need you. But, together we’ll review the wardrobe for the rest of the week and then, no more changes. Changes cost money, money we don’t have, understand? We’ve already added talent,” Roger said.
“You do understand, Roger, that I’m gone after today. I agreed to this because Bob persuaded me to do it for the resort. That’s all,” Madison said. Josh was watching the exchange as if in slow motion. As if it didn’t matter whether he was there or not. Wasn’t the show called Josh’s Journeys? He still mattered, didn’t he?
“My dear, we’ll discuss your future after we shoot at the cove today. We’re burning daylight. Let’s get going,” Roger said, threading his arm through Madison’s. Josh waited for her to pull free, but she didn’t. He was forced to walk behind them across the grass to join the rest of the crew.
“Wardrobe. Get Ms. Alcott to that shop and allow her to select what she’ll wear for the next location. Suit and cover up,” Roger said, yelling to get the woman’s attention who was talking to the makeup artist. Both of them had lip piercings, Josh noted. “Josh, you’ll ride with Marty and me. I’ll see everyone at Fisherman’s Cove in forty
five minutes.”
The crew dispersed and Josh watched as Madison was led away by the two pierced women while Josh quickly was flanked by Marty and Roger who steered him toward the elevators leading up to the lobby.
“We’re assuming whatever happened out there you have under control?” Marty said as soon as they’d stepped into the elevator.
Josh swallowed. He hoped he was under control, but he couldn’t tell. He wasn’t shaking but he wasn’t feeling exactly settled either. He was feeling claustrophobic in the elevator. When the doors opened he hurried out, but then slowed for the other two men to catch up.
“Yes, of course, I’m fine. Just hypoglycemia, low blood sugar. Ate a big breakfast and I’m looking forward to this,” Josh said, trying to ignore the fact that his mouth had gone dry.
“I hope so son, because to tell you the truth, I’m not scrapping this project. I’ve invested too much in it to not get what I came for. You understand?” Roger said, his voice was low and his tone was menacing.
“Now, now, Roger. The kid just said he was fine. He’s fine,” Marty said, clapping Josh on the back as they walked across the parquet floor, past the smiling front desk woman with the wire framed glasses and out into the warm California sunshine.
“Good,” Roger said. Josh idly noticed his bald head seemed a little sunburned, glowing pink in the sunlight. “Bring my car around,” Roger said to the kid who reminded Josh of himself, back when he knew he’d be famous, when he knew he was a star.
“Josh,” Marty said, waving him over to where he stood next to the raised flower gardens bursting with white knockout roses. All Josh could smell was Marty’s nauseating aftershave. “Look. I know you want this to work, I know you see it as your last shot. But it’s not. If not this, there will be other things, other opportunities, you know?”
Josh had a flashback, to himself on Laguna Nights, in a garden surrounded by white roses. It was dark, but the crew was all there. They were about to film him and Laura in a hot tub, a scene that would end up launching his nightclub celebrity appearances, a scene that would be the start of their supposed “hot” relationship, the scene that would lead to a spinoff show. The start of his career in LA. He saw himself following Laura into a bubbling hot tub, her red bikini luring him in, showing him the way. Then, he flashed on Madison’s face, swollen and red from crying, on the next episode. He dropped his head.
“Josh?” Marty said.
“Yeah, I get it. I need to nail this today. I know. I’m ready,” Josh said. It was a tribute to his acting skills that it seemed like Marty believed him. Josh began to visualize himself on the beach in Fisherman’s Cove. He had this, he knew this town. Roger’s limo appeared, and the three men slid in the back.
Roger looked at Marty and said, “Did you tell him?”
“No, I think we should save that for later,” Marty said, his green eyes darting nervously between Roger and Josh, who was wedged in between the men.
“Fine,” Roger said.
“Tell me what?” Josh said, his mouth a desert again. He needed water. “Can you hand me a water, Marty?” Outside the limo’s windows, the town of his childhood sailed by. They were already at the turn by the art museum. Josh needed to focus on the shoot.
“We’ll discuss Roger’s ideas later. Let’s just get this in the can, kid,” Marty said as the car turned left and they cruised past Heisler Park. It was as beautiful and as crowded with tourists as it had been crowded with homeless people when he was growing up. Josh wasn’t sure where they’d taken the homeless, but it did make it a lot less menacing to visitors, he supposed.
The limo made an awkward u-turn and pulled into a no-parking space at the junction of Diver’s Cove and Fisherman’s Cove.
“Took a hell of a long time to get the permit for this shoot, so let’s make the most of it, shall we,” Roger said as the driver opened his door.
“We will,” Marty said as Josh followed his two bosses down the steep steps to the beach. He stopped and smiled when they reached the sand. It was as gorgeous as he remembered, with rock formations out in the ocean, nooks and crannies carved into the side of the cliffs. A perfect place for lovers.
And then he saw Madison. She stood at the far end of the cove in the sand, wearing a short red dress, a bathing suit cover-up he supposed. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail and she wore sunglasses and a floppy red hat. A red and white striped beach towel was spread out in front of her, and an old fashioned wooden picnic basket was next to the towel, a bottle of wine sticking out of the top. Bounce boards held by the lighting crew reflected the perfect balance of sunlight onto the scene. She seemed to glow in front of him. And then, she waved. Josh waved back, hoping it was meant for him and watched as she grinned in response. He felt his shoulders relax and he walked across the sand to reach her.
“Ah, Josh, wait, here’s a revised script,” Marty said, grabbing his shoulder and then handing him five or six pages, folded in half. “Look them over while we shoot Madison’s set-up for her Mondrian segment.”
Josh froze. Madison would be on camera, again, without him. What was going on, he wondered, as he unfolded the new script. The title of the show jumped out at him. Journeys with Josh and Friends.
“Marty?” Josh said, but his manager had left his side and was standing with Roger, behind the director. “And friends?” Josh looked up and stared at Madison. Had she done this for revenge? Was she trying to steal his show out from under him? Was her hatred of the spotlight, of being on camera, all a façade? He’d been played, he was sure of it. But how could she do this to him?
Josh read through the first page of the script. He still opened the show, but he introduced Madison right away, as “the former love of his life until he messed things up” per the script. Josh was furious. He had to talk to Marty. He stomped up to his manager and yanked him around by the shoulder. Josh didn’t care who was watching. He knew they were filming, he knew it could interrupt the take, but he didn’t care.
“Hey,” Marty said, “What is wrong with you?”
“Cut,” the director yelled and Madison looked their way with a tilt to her head. That’s right, Josh thought, just look like a confused and innocent little girl. I know what you’re up to now, he wanted to tell her, but didn’t. He’d wait.
Once he and Marty had walked far enough away from the set, he turned and looked at Josh. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Have you?” Josh said. “Who are my friends? You certainly aren’t one. This is my show, Josh only. I don’t know what she’s done to worm her way into my show but you need to make it stop.” Josh realized he’d raised his voice and was glad the ocean waves crashing on shore had covered up the sound of his voice for everyone but Marty. He knew he needed to get his emotions under control, but he couldn’t help how angry he was.
“I’m going to tell this to you once, and that’s it. You are lucky to be here. We both are. You haven’t been relevant for years. Roger can change that. He calls the shots. He wants Madison, and he’s decided, he wants all of you Laguna Nights kids. I told him he was crazy, that all of you were spoiled brats,” Marty said, wiping his upper lip with the back of his hand. “And then she appears, with you, all beautiful and poised, no longer overweight and wounded and it gave him the brilliant idea to work her into the show. You really only have yourself to blame. So pull up your big boy pants and be thankful you’re still included at all.” Marty hit the script in Josh’s hand and then turned and walked away.
Josh stood in the sand, his left hand balled in a fist, his right hand holding the script. He had a decision to make and quickly. He watched Madison, glowing in the reflected light. He did only have himself to blame, he realized. He introduced her to his management team. The only thing left for him to do was memorize the revised script and outshine her. Josh kicked the sand and sat down to read. It was the typical co-host arrangement. They were supposed to banter about the good old days while introducing this week’s location, which for the pilot just happened to be Lagu
na Beach, the setting of the past.
Josh stood up, brushing the sand from his shorts, and walked over to the set. He noticed an audience of tourists had started to gather on the rocks beyond the set, and behind him near the stairs. A young woman wearing a barely there yellow bathing suit smiled at him and winked. “Glad to see you back, Josh,” she said.
“That’s right, I’m back. You gotta tune into Josh’s Journeys when it airs,” he said, flashing her his dimple smile.
“Oh, I will,” she said.
And from the look in her eye as she checked him out, he knew she would. Now, he only needed a few hundred thousand more to tune in. Madison was finished with her segment and she was sitting in the make-up chair. She’d changed into a bright blue dress, he noticed. And it wasn’t a bathing suit cover-up. It was gorgeous. She was gorgeous even if she’d used him to get what she wanted.
Josh approached the chair, coming up behind her. “Hey Holls,” he said, and Madison jumped.
“Josh. Gosh, don’t sneak up on me like that,” she said, as the makeup woman glared at him.
“Oh, so sorry if I upset you,” Josh said, barely able to keep his temper under control.
“What’s wrong? Are you sick again?” Madison said. She seemed concerned, but Josh had discovered she was not what she seemed.
“No, I’m fine. So you’re sticking around for some more fun, huh?” Josh said, kicking the sand with his foot.
“I guess so,” she said. Josh didn’t detect any regret. If anything, she seemed happy about the situation. “I know it’s not what we discussed at breakfast, but, Roger is very persuasive.” She flashed him her smile, but it wasn’t going to work.
“Yeah, well, it’s nothing like what you said at breakfast, but it is what it is. We’ll make it work for the camera, right Holls?” Josh said. He hoped he could throw her off, use her real name, make her hurt, but she didn’t even blink.
