“Oh God.” Jodi leaned her head on the railing, and Lynn stroked her back soothingly.
“I’ve been the closest thing to a mother that little girl has,” she said. “I moved in as soon as she was born, and I’ve changed her diapers and cleaned up her vomit. I watched her take her first steps and ride her first pony. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone except her dad and his brothers. If I thought you were going to harm her, I wouldn’t let you near her. You understand me?”
Lynn’s tone was firm, and Jodi had no doubt every word was true.
She lifted her head. “I do.”
“You’re not going to hurt her. I can’t predict where this will all go, but I have faith in both you and Ty. I believe that you’re good people and good parents, and you’ll only do what’s best for her—no matter what that ends up being.”
They both stood quietly for a few minutes then, and Jodi sipped her latte and let her mind rest, let Lynn’s words sink in, soak through her, soothe her battered emotions.
“She’s lucky,” she finally said, turning to the older woman. “She’s lucky to have you looking out for her. Please keep doing it, and if it means you ever have to go against me because you think that’s best for her, don’t hesitate. Not even for a minute. She’s what matters. Nothing else.”
Lynn nodded, and Jodi gave her a smile. “I’m off to see my daughter,” she said, setting her cup down one last time.
“Good luck.”
“Thank you.”
Then she walked away to the boardwalk, the ice-cream stand, and the biggest step toward her new life.
“Daddy, I know her. She’s Aunt Lynn’s friend!” Katie’s voice carried down the boardwalk as Jodi approached, and her heart fluttered like a tiny bird caught in a cage.
Ty was leaning down talking to Katie as Jodi met up with them. The sight stole the breath right out of her lungs. Every gesture, the way he tilted toward the little blonde head, the calm, steady expression on his face, the way his lips turned up when Katie answered him—it was the single sexiest and most heart-wrenching thing she’d ever seen. Ty as a father. She’d understood it in theory, but seeing it in practice was an entirely different experience.
“Hi,” he said, standing as he held on to Katie’s hand. “I was just explaining to Katie that you and I know each other too.”
She smiled down at the amazing creature who had come from her, hoping her nerves didn’t show too badly. “We do. Your dad and I knew each other a long time ago, before you were born.”
Katie wiggled from one leg to another. “Then you can come to dinner now. ’Cause friends come to dinner, and you’re a double friend.”
“Too true,” Ty said, giving Jodi a reassuring smile. “Let’s get some ice cream, and then we can eat it over here.” He gestured at the nearby benches that lined the boardwalk.
They ordered ice cream at the stand, Katie babbling the entire time about her ballet teacher—Miss Erin, Jodi noted—and when everyone was set, Katie with a cup of chocolate and a cone upside down on top, they sat, Ty on one side of Katie and Jodi on the other.
“So, the cone and cup?” Jodi asked, raising an eyebrow at Ty.
“So’s I don’t make a mess,” Katie answered between slurps off her spoon.
Ty nodded, grinning. “After your two-year-old loses the ice cream off the cone and screams for an hour, you get inventive.”
Jodi laughed. “I’m impressed. My mother only ever bought me the soft serves so they made a mess but they couldn’t fall completely off.”
Katie continued to slurp, and Ty shot Jodi a look that said, Are you ready for this? She tried to look confident as she nodded, even though she was about as far from it as possible.
“So, Katie bug?” Ty said, nudging her with his elbow.
“Yeah?” Her bright blue eyes shifted to her father, and they were so trusting, so completely innocent and adoring, Jodi nearly told him to stop, forget the whole thing, she’d go back to San Luis, she’d learn to live with the ache, it didn’t matter if she hurt, as long as Katie didn’t.
But then he kept talking, and the train had left the station, and all Jodi could do was hold her breath and wait.
“You remember how we’ve had talks about your mom?”
Katie nodded, her brow furrowing a touch. “Yes. She couldn’t be my mommy, so she gave me to the best daddy in the whole world. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me.”
Ty blushed a touch. “That’s right. What would you think if I said I’d heard from your mom and she’d really love to see you again?”
Katie took a long slurp of ice cream while Jodi’s heart nearly beat out of her chest.
“I want to see my mommy. But is she going to come live with us like other people’s mommies do? ’Cause I don’t want Aunt Lynn to move away.” She shook her head vigorously. “If Aunt Lynn has to go away, then I don’t want a mommy.”
“Never,” Jodi couldn’t stop herself from saying.
Katie turned to her, her eyes widening.
“No one will ever make Aunt Lynn go away, sweetheart,” Ty reassured her.
There was a pause then, and Jodi knew without a doubt that her daughter was not only the smartest five-year-old on the planet, but also tied to her in a way that transcended time or geography. Katie knew, at some level deeper than consciousness, she knew.
Katie’s head whipped back to Ty. “Daddy?” Her voice was a whisper. ”Is she my mommy?” She pointed to Jodi.
Ty smiled sadly at his daughter, and Jodi’s tears escaped. She simply couldn’t hold them in any longer.
Katie turned to Jodi and was uncharacteristically quiet as she reached out a tiny hand and touched a tear tracking down Jodi’s cheek. “Why are you crying?” she whispered.
“Because I’ve missed you so much,” Jodi answered, also in a whisper.
“I missed you too.” Then she climbed up on her knees and put her arms around Jodi’s neck, hugging her close. “But it’ll be okay now, Mommy. I promise.”
Jodi and Ty spent the rest of the afternoon walking on the beach and answering Katie’s many questions. Where had Mommy been living? Did Mommy have any other kids? Was she going to live with them at the ranch? Why not? Could Mommy come to school so Katie could show the other kids that she had a mommy too? Did Mommy know how to dance ballet? Jodi was exhausted, but it was a giddy kind of exhaustion, the type that made you want to tell complete strangers about the amazing, wonderful, intoxicating things that were happening to you.
When Katie finally exhausted the extensive questions, Ty let her strip to the leotard she was still wearing from dance class and go into the water.
“Does she swim?” Jodi asked, her heart racing as Katie headed into the waves.
“Yeah. Not enough to swim in open water yet, but she’s an old hand here. We have rules, and she’s very good about following them.”
Jodi nodded, still unable to peel her eyes off the tiny human in the vast ocean.
She heard Ty chuckling and turned to see him grinning at her.
“What?”
“You’re already doing it,” he said.
“Already doing what?”
“Being a mom.”
She blinked at him. “Um…”
He shook his head. “The other dads always tell me about how overprotective their wives are about the physical stuff. They all think Katie’s a rock star because she’s never had a woman fussing over her safety. She’ll climb, jump, or dive into about anything.”
“So, I shouldn’t tell her not to try stuff, even if I think it’s unsafe?” Jodi asked earnestly. She was going to have to learn all this on the fly, and she didn’t want to make a misstep that might anger Ty so he kept Katie from her.
He laughed and shook his head. “Of course not. Don’t be crazy over it, and expect she might give some pushback because she’s used to me, but you’re here to be you—her mother—not a carbon copy of me.”
Jodi looked back out at the water where Katie was playing w
ith another little girl near her age. She breathed deep of the ocean air, organizing her thoughts that were layered, complex, and painful in both good ways and bad.
“I can’t believe how generous you’re being. I know this isn’t what you wanted. I just can’t thank you enough.”
Ty shrugged uncomfortably. “I’m working to have an open mind and let Katie take the lead. I’m not making you any promises, Jodi, but I’m willing to give things a shot as long as Katie isn’t being harmed in the process.”
She nodded. “She took it well. Is that what you expected?”
“I honestly didn’t know what to expect. She’s never had anything of this magnitude happen in her life. But, I’ve lived with her long enough to know the first response isn’t always the final one.” He leveled a look at Jodi. “Kids process things differently than we do. Sometimes it takes days or weeks or even months for them to understand something fully. We’ll keep going and see what happens, but don’t assume because today went well, it’s all smooth sailing from here.”
“Okay,” Jodi said as Katie ran toward them. She went straight to Ty, and Jodi had to admit it stung. She knew it wasn’t reasonable, but she ached for the real mother-daughter bond she dreamed of. Don’t be a fool, she scolded herself. She’s known you for five minutes. It could take years.
“Daddy,” Katie said as Ty rubbed her dry with a towel he’d brought from the truck. “Can Mommy come to dinner now?”
“You know what, bug? I think we’ve had a long day and it might be best if we let your mom go home and get some rest.”
Katie’s eyes grew big and sparkled with tears. “But what if she doesn’t come back?” And there it was, the fear of abandonment. Because Jodi had done it once, and she’d trained her daughter to expect it from her. Never again, Jodi vowed silently as she dropped to her knees in the sand, putting her hands on Katie’s shoulders. “Never. I promise, sweetheart. I won’t do that to you. I’m here to stay, and you can see me whenever you and your dad decide. I moved here especially so I can be with you. I won’t go away again.”
Katie nodded, not appearing convinced.
“How about if we plan to see your mom tomorrow?” Ty suggested.
Katie’s eyes lit up. “Yes, please! Can I show her my dog and my room and Beauregard and Dirk?”
Ty laughed, looking at Jodi. “Beauregard’s the pony, Dirk’s the ranch hand.”
“I remember Dirk.” Jodi smiled. “And I’d love to meet Beauregard if it’s okay with you.”
“That’s fine,” Ty said, running a hand through his hair.
Jodi knew his tell for nerves, though. She stood and looked him in the eye. “If it’s too much too soon, we can meet on neutral territory. Wait until later in the week. I’ll understand.” She felt Katie’s hand slip into hers.
“Please, Daddy?”
Please, Jodi’s heart added silently. Because now she’d found her, Jodi never wanted to let Katie out of her sight for a moment. Five years’ worth of love was washing through her with the force of a freight train, and she wasn’t sure she could do much to stop it now. Simply hold on for the ride, and pray Katie felt the same way eventually.
7
Ty looked from his daughter’s pleading eyes to the same shade of bright blue gazing at him from Jodi’s perfect face. God, that glow she had. It was mesmerizing. He’d spent the entire afternoon watching her interact with Katie, seeing that glow expand until it was practically wrapping around them all. And when he watched her next to the person he loved most in the world? He was fucked. Royally, truly fucked. He knew now what other men meant when they said they couldn’t deny their wives and children anything.
Yes, the combination of Jodi and Katie was about all the beauty, love, and perfection Ty could stand. He felt it coming on, a complete collapse of his backbone, total dissolution of any wishes he might have for himself. Nope. If Katie and Jodi wanted something, Ty was pretty sure he’d be caving and giving it to them.
He stifled the groan that threatened to erupt from his chest, and turned his gaze skyward for a moment. No, it didn’t matter. He could still see their sweet faces dancing in his mind.
“Lynn makes Sunday dinner at five,” he told Jodi. “If you come at four, you can have the grand tour of everything before we eat.”
Katie jumped up and down cheering, and Jodi gave him the most dazzling smile he’d seen from a woman in years. Maybe ever.
“You’re sure?” she asked, although it was pretty clear she didn’t really care, she was so happy for the invitation.
“Yeah,” he answered, swallowing the urge to lean forward and touch his lips to hers, feel her breath on his face, absorb some of her glow. “It’s good.” He took a deep breath, letting the sea air filter through him as he tried to stay focused, be detached, get through this awkwardness without being awkward.
“You remember how to get out there?” He turned his gaze back to her.
“Yeah,” she answered.
“Great. We’ll see you tomorrow at four, then. It’s time for us to go, Katie bug.”
Katie turned her big blue beauties up to Jodi. They were still holding hands, and Ty couldn’t help but think they did it so naturally, he’d have never guessed they hadn’t been bonded since Katie’s birth.
“Aunt Lynn will make steak,” Katie said, grinning. “But I promise not to tell you the cow’s name it came from, ’cause Daddy says that’s rude and might upset some people.”
Jodi choked with laughter. “Well, I do love steak, but yes, I’d probably rather not know the cow’s name.” Then she knelt down next to Katie. “May I give you a hug before I go?”
Katie nodded solemnly and put her hands around Jodi’s neck. He watched Jodi’s eyes drift shut and her hands tremble as she wrapped her own arms around Katie’s waist. They stayed like that for what seemed to grow into minutes, and then Jodi released her with a quick kiss to the forehead.
As they watched Jodi walk away, he saw Katie gently touch her fingers to the spot her mother had kissed. Her face had that same glow Jodi’s did, and Ty knew he’d just unleashed an entirely new future for his daughter.
Only time would tell if that was for the best or the worst.
“I heard it all went okay,” Cade said as he walked into the office where Ty was doing paperwork.
Ty leaned back in the big desk chair, shoving the contracts aside.
“It’s all she can talk about,” he said, referring to Katie. “Nonstop Mom.”
Cade leaned against the open doorway, arms crossed, scowl firmly in place. That scowl was much less prevalent since Nina came into his life, but Cade had spent a lot of years scowling before her. It came naturally to him now.
“And what kind of commitments have you made? Does she think she’s going to get regular visitation now?”
Ty tried to remember that his brother was acting out of love and years of taking care of everything and everyone. Cade sometimes forgot he didn’t have to bear that weight anymore. Ty and Vaughn were all grown up and plenty able to fend for themselves. Hell, Vaughn was married, about to start his own business. Ty had been a father for five years now, and a fully participating partner in the ranch for just as long.
“We aren’t anywhere near talking about anything beyond the next day,” Ty said patiently. “I’ve told Katie her mother can come over for dinner tomorrow night. That’s all.”
“Dinner.” Cade harrumphed like an honest-to-God old man. Ty pitied the baby Nina was carrying. Poor kid was going to have to listen that disapproving grunt his whole damn life.
“Yes. Dinner and a tour of Katie’s favorite things around the ranch—I think Dirk was one sight, the dog and pony were some others. Also her bedroom, of course.”
A horn sounded from outside in the parking circle, and Cade turned briefly to wave someone off.
“And you think that’s a good idea? Letting Jodi have access to the house and the family? What if she decides she wants to kidnap Katie? She’ll know exactly where Katie’s room is, how
the house is organized—”
“For God’s sake,” Ty groaned. “She’s not going to try to kidnap her.”
“She could also be gathering information to take to court. Seeing if there are things that might make you look unfit—things that aren’t safe that Katie has access to, people that Jodi could argue shouldn’t have access to a five-year-old.”
Rolling his eyes, Ty stood and walked to his brother. He laid a hand on Cade’s shoulder. “I can’t say whether all this will end up in a court. I admit she may want to press for custody at some point, but I choose to believe if it happens, it’s not because she premeditated it from the beginning. I don’t think she’s coming to our house to find things wrong and use them against us. She’s just a woman who had a kid too young and is trying to do better now.”
Cade’s scowl softened, and he looked at Ty with concern. “You’re not still interested in her after all these years, are you?”
His heart skipped a beat as he gave his brother a firm shove. “What the fuck is the matter with you?” he snapped. “I barely know her. And I’m in the middle of trying to navigate her showing up in Katie’s life. You think I’d muddy the waters with sex?”
Cade straightened and shrugged. “You seem almost supportive of her being here like this. But there are about a thousand ways this could go wrong and do damage to Katie.”
Sighing, Ty leaned against the wall next to Cade. “I get that, and I’m still cautious, but I guess you could say I’m cautiously optimistic. If you’d seen Katie’s face today—”
“That might not last.”
“Right. And I told Jodi that. I said kids process this shit differently than the rest of us. And if she changes her mind, and doesn’t want stuff with her mother right now, then I’ll factor that in, but for now, it appears it’s very welcome on Katie’s part, and Jodi is being responsible and truly cares about doing the right thing.”
Finally, Cade gave Ty a hard slap on the back. “Okay. If you’re sure, then I’ll leave it alone. I trust you—doesn’t mean I have to trust her.”
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