by Jess Bryant
Connor smiled and she had to steel her spine to keep from launching herself at him.
“Hey!” Aubrey squeaked, “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Stealing Lulu.” Connor’s eyes barely twitched to the bride, “The groom has requested to see his Best Woman before the ceremony.”
“Oh.” Aubrey looked like she wanted to pout but Connor turned up his megawatt smile.
“He tried to sneak out to see you twice already and we had to threaten to cuff him to the sink.” He chuckled when Aubrey grinned, “He said to tell you that he’ll see you at the end of the aisle.”
“Thank you.” Aubrey brushed at her cheek as if wiping away a fresh tear, “Go on then before you make me cry and ruin my makeup, even if I don’t believe for a second you’re not stealing our Lulu off for your own naughty reasons, Connor Shaw.”
“Well not just for naughty reasons.” He gave a cocky wink before extending his hand, “Lu?”
She took it and when their fingers laced together automatically she hurried after him into the hallway. The simple touch of his hand in hers made her veins hot and her heart thump again. They fit together so well, so easily, and she loved that scrape of his rougher skin against hers when he stroked his thumb over her knuckles.
Without a word or another glance he led her down the hallway and she followed, skipping slightly in her high heels to keep up with him. Suddenly he turned a corner and then she found herself being crowded. Her back collided with the wall and Connor was in her personal space in an instant, his big body giving off so much heat she felt practically singed as he sank against her and lowered his head to take her mouth.
The first touch of their lips was slow and easy, gentle, but the second was harder, faster, passion building between them and rising as they tangled themselves together. Connor kissed her as if he was a sailor just home from months at sea despite the fact they’d been plastered together until wedding duties pulled them apart just a few hours ago. He kissed her desperately and she knew that she was returning the kiss the same way, because that was how he made her feel.
Desperate and needy and madly, crazy in love
He broke the kiss with a groan after a few minutes, “Fuck. Lu, we gotta stop.” Her hips arched, rubbing herself against him and he cursed again before steadying her with his hands on her waist. “Stop or I’m going to rip this beautiful dress off you and fuck you in the nearest coat closet.”
She bit her lip and glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. His blue-green eyes were hooded with desire and his golden hair fell forward over his forehead. His lips were red and swollen and damp and she loved knowing that she was the reason for it. Just like she was the reason his shoulders heaved as he sucked in deep, gulping breaths of mind-clearing air.
“Dammit, Lu. Don’t look at me like that.” He growled.
“Like what?” She bit her lip harder, trying to hide a smirk.
“Like you want me to shove your dress up and fuck you right here in the hallway.”
Lulu twined her arms around his neck and leaned up until her lips brushed his, “Maybe I do.”
Connor kissed her again. Hard. His mouth took hers in a harsh, punishing kiss but he pulled back after tugging her bottom lip. He frowned and kissed her softer and then even softer, brushing his lips against hers again and again and again until she felt like she might melt into a puddle right there in the thickly carpeted hallway.
Finally, he raised his head and looked at her and the heat in his eyes had banked into something softer as well. He caressed a hand over her cheek and down her throat. His eyes followed the movement down to the top of her dress and over the curve of her breast before reversing path. When he got back to her jaw he caught her chin and forced her eyes to his.
“You look beautiful, Lulu.”
Heat swept over her cheeks at the reverent way he touched and looked at her, “Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself.”
“How are you holding up?”
“Fine.” She tilted her head curiously, “Why?”
“I know today is going to be hard for you and I…”
“No.” She put a finger to his lips, cutting him off, “No. It’s not hard at all. Not anymore.”
“Lu.” He caught her by the wrist and pulled her hand from his mouth but she shook her head before he could say anything else.
“I let it go. I let him go. I’m fine. I’m better than fine. I’m happy.” She cupped his cheek and forced him to look at her this time, “You make me happy, Connor.”
“God.” His voice was rough when he dropped his forehead to hers, creating a small cocoon where they shared breath as he whispered. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”
She softened against him even further, holding him against her body. He’d needed her, she realized. He’d needed to see her, to reassure himself that she was his and that she wasn’t pining for their friend. It was hard to believe the always arrogant, cock-sure Connor Shaw could be self-conscious but standing here with him now, she knew that he’d been worried and she hated that she hadn’t told him the words that would wipe away all of his doubts.
“Connor…”
“Shh.” He hushed her gently, “Just be here, with me, for a minute longer okay?”
“Okay.” She gave in as he held her close.
Being in his arms felt so good, she relaxed against him. His strong arms around her held her up as surely as her own legs did. She put her cheek to his broad, firm chest and listened to the reassuring beat of his heart. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there like that, together, silent, simply enjoying the feel of one another in their own private world, before Connor sighed against her hair.
“I should probably take you to him now.”
She reared back to look up at him, “What? Who?”
“Derek.” Connor frowned as he said his best friend’s name.
“Why would you take me to see Derek?” She asked in confusion.
“He asked to see you.” His frown lightened a little when she raised her eyebrows, “As much as I wish it was true, Aubrey was wrong. I didn’t just steal you away for myself. The groom really did ask to see you.”
Suddenly, Connor’s self-conscious doubts made sense. She’d thought he had made up the excuse to get her away from the bridesmaids but he hadn’t.
Derek had asked to see her. Less than an hour until his wedding was set to begin and Derek had asked to see her. He wanted them to talk before he got married and tied himself to another woman for eternity. He wanted to see Lulu.
A week ago, her heart would have leaped and her mind would have raced with possibilities. She’d have hoped Derek had changed his mind. She’d have let herself believe that he needed to see her to declare his love so that they could run away together. But she knew better now that she’d taken the blinders off.
Derek wasn’t going to call this wedding off. More importantly, even if he did, Lulu didn’t want him for herself. Not anymore. She wanted Connor and only Connor and she hated that just the thought of taking her to see their mutual friend was gnawing at his confidence.
She opened her mouth, prepared to tell him that she loved him but the look on his face stopped her. Now wasn’t the time. Not like this. She didn’t want him to think she was saying the words to reassure him. She didn’t want to say the words with anything about Derek still hanging between them.
Instead she pulled him down and kissed him softly before sliding her mouth to his ear, “After I talk to Derek, if there’s time, I want you to fuck me in the nearest coat closet.” Connor groaned and she nipped at his earlobe. “I miss the way I feel when I’m full of you. You fill me up just right, just enough to make me feel whole.”
“Lu...” Connor growled her name, low and sexy, before he all but slammed her back into the wall and stamped his mouth over hers again.
This kiss was nothing but searing heat and promise. His tongue pushed in roughly and stroked deep. He ate at her, as if he could fuse them togeth
er if he willed it hard enough. She wrapped herself around him and held on tight, reveling in the feeling of power that making this man lose control gave her.
“You make me crazy.” He grunted as he finally tore away from her, all but retreating across the hall to put space between them.
“Back at ya, handsome.” She winked teasingly and he shuddered out a rough breath.
“You’ve got me hard and horny and I just know if I slipped my hand under that slinky little dress I’d find you wet for me.” Connor ran a hand through his golden hair and glared at her, “And now I have to deliver you to Derek like some sort of errand boy, which pisses me off to no end.”
“Connor.” She stepped towards him and offered her hand, “You can take me to Derek. If he wants to talk, we can talk. But whatever he has to say, it isn’t going to change anything. You know that. Don’t you?”
He stared at her for a long moment and her heart cracked open. He didn’t. He didn’t know. And she couldn’t tell him. Not like this. Not those words. But she could reassure him.
“When I walk down that aisle, I’m not walking towards him. I’m walking towards you.” She slid into his personal space again and met his wary gaze. “I only see you. Only you. It’s you and me. Just us. Okay?”
He stood so still, like a statue, for so long that she started to think he wasn’t going to say a word. Finally, he took her hand and hugged her tight again. He kissed the top of her head. Then and only then, did he pull back and meet her gaze again.
“Okay.”
“Okay.” She smiled a little.
“Okay.” He smirked and when she groaned he chuckled, “Let’s go before I change my mind and haul you back to our bed. Derek’s probably wondering if I got lost as it is and the wedding is set to start soon.”
“I’ll make it fast so we have time for that quickie.” She winked playfully as he pulled her further down the hallway.
“Don’t tempt me woman.” Connor growled and she giggled happily, knowing that she’d settled the worst of his nerves just as his mere presence had settled hers.
It wasn’t far down the hallway to the men’s dressing room. Connor stopped them in front of a plain white door similar to the one on Aubrey’s room just a few steps later. He looked at the door, frowned, and then tried to wipe the look away as he glanced back at her. Without a word, Lulu tilted her head up and brushed their lips together. When she pulled away that soft look was back in his eyes so she turned and opened the door before either of them lost their courage.
Stepping inside, she’d expected to see the other groomsmen crowded around Derek just as the bridesmaids had been crowded around Aubrey. But the room was empty save for the single dark-haired man standing with his back to her, adjusting his collar in the floor length mirror. The door clicked shut behind her at the same time Derek turned to face her and for some reason, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.
He looked handsome. She could admit that, objectively. His dark hair and eyes were a contrast to the white dress shirt, showing off his tan and the white of his teeth when he smiled at her. Lulu steeled her spine, waiting for that rush of nerves and butterflies in her belly that always came when Derek settled his warm eyes and sweet smile on her, but they didn’t come. She almost breathed a sigh of relief that what she’d told Connor was true.
She didn’t feel anything for Derek anymore. Nothing except the familiarity of friendship and the platonic love that had always been between them. It was a love she’d tried to make into more but it had never been meant to be more. She didn’t even feel the frustration and annoyance that had begun to simmer between them over the last few years as she’d started to see his refusal to admit there was something more between them as a betrayal. The truth was, the only thing she felt here and now, in this room, alone with Derek, both of them dressed for his wedding to another woman, was a sense of finality.
Finally, they were both where they were supposed to be. They were both with people they loved. Both with people that made them happy. It never should have been the two of them together.
Derek had met and fallen for Aubrey instantly. For Lulu, being with Connor had come easily. Their relationship had evolved simply from being in each others presence. It came naturally. That was how love was supposed to be. That was the part of her parents’ marriage that she’d envied the most and somehow she’d lost sight of that.
She felt sheepish standing here in front of Derek now, knowing how wrong she’d been, how blind and selfish. She fidgeted, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the slinky blue dress Aubrey had chosen for the girls. She opened hers mouth to say something, to try and break the awkward silence, but Derek chuckled and the sound was so familiar she only found herself smiling at him in return.
“Well, this is awkward.”
She snorted a laugh, “Saying it out loud doesn’t make it any less awkward.”
“I know, but… I still needed to see you.”
“Forty-five minutes before your wedding? What for?” She tilted her head as he fidgeted with his collar again, “Is something wrong?”
“No. No of course not.” He spoke quickly and then sighed and shook his head, “That’s not entirely true.”
“Derek.” She moved further into the room, “Talk to me. If there’s something you need to say, say it. We’ve always been able to talk about things.”
His dark eyes pinned her in place, “That’s not true either.”
“Oh.” Heat flushed her cheeks at the admission she hadn’t expected.
“We never talked about… us.” Derek cleared his throat and motioned to a chair, “Do you want to sit down? Maybe we should sit down. I…”
“I can’t.” Lulu pulled her spine straight and met his eyes, “If I wrinkle this dress Aubrey’s going to kill me. I’ll stand.”
“Oh. Right.” It was Derek’s turn to flush slightly but he took a deep breath and met her eyes, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, Lu. For everything. You’re my best friend. You’re my oldest friend. And I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Lulu swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting Derek to say, but that hadn’t been it. She suddenly wished that she could sit down because her legs felt a little wobbly on this new, uneven ground.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. It was…”
“I do.” He cut her off, “I do have to apologize because I knew. I knew how you felt and I knew what you wanted from me and I should have nipped it in the bud a long time ago because I knew I didn’t and couldn’t feel the same way. I thought, well I guess I thought ignoring the issue would make it go away but it didn’t and I hurt you. I hate that I hurt you and I want us to go back to being the friends who talk to each other about everything, if we can.”
Lulu chewed on the inside of her cheek as he spoke. He wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t already put together. Connor had told her that Derek knew about her feelings. It had hurt then and it hurt now, but it didn’t change anything. Derek was only apologizing now because he wanted to relieve some of his guilt before he got married. Lulu gave a sad shake of her head and his hopeful smile crumbled.
“We can’t go back to how we were, Dare. We aren’t kids anymore. You’re marrying Aubrey. She’ll be your wife. She’s the woman you’ll share everything with from now on.” She bit her lip, “And I’m with Connor.”
“I know. That’s…” Derek ran a hand through his dark hair, mussing it up, “That’s why I wanted to apologize.”
“Because of Connor?”
“Because you’re both my best friends and I should have stepped aside and let you explore this thing between you a long time ago.”
The words sounded eerily familiar and she knew it was because Connor had already told her about his conversation with Derek. Connor had told her about the talk they’d had and what Derek had said. Connor was the one that talked to her and told her everything, just like it was supposed to be.
All of th
e tension that had built in her muscles upon seeing Derek released suddenly and she smiled with the knowledge that everything was going to be fine. She and Derek were friends. Connor and Derek were friends. Derek had Aubrey and she had Connor and they would all be friends for the rest of their lives because nothing could come between them if this hadn’t already.
“Derek.” She said his name and he glanced up from where he’d dropped his head, “You don’t have to apologize. We’re good. I promise. I’m grateful that I get to be a part of my best friend’s best day. I’m happy that we’re still friends and we always will be. I’m happy for you and Aubrey.”
“And you?” Derek looked wary.
“What about me?”
“You’re happy? With Connor? He makes you happy?”
Her smile was as easy and natural as falling in love with the man had been, “He does.”
“I can tell.” Derek returned her smile with a soft, knowing look.
“You can?”
“I haven’t seen you as relaxed as you’ve been this week in a long time, Lu. I’m sorry for that. I…”
“We’re done with that now.” She cut him off again. “No more apologizing to each other. No more hurting each other. Let’s just, let it go and be happy for each other. Be friends. Like we were always supposed to be.”
Derek looked relieved and nodded quickly, “Okay. Friends?”
“Forever.” She nodded and when he opened his arms, she went into them for a hug.
It was light and friendly. They didn’t cling to each other. It wasn’t awkward or complicated. It was just two friends hugging each other and then moving apart to go along on their own paths with the people they loved.
The way it always should’ve been.
Chapter Sixteen
Connor watched Lulu from across the room, heard her tinkling laugh and felt his heart clench. God, he was so in love with her. He’d only thought he loved her before this trip to Mexico. He’d wanted her, lusted after her, wanted to be the man that she turned to for everything, but he hadn’t known how Lulu finally letting him in would affect him.
