After putting her back into her stall, I turn to see Gabriel brushing out his stallion. The horse is still preening when I hold out a sugar cube from a nearby bucket. He takes it gently, letting me know that he’s both gentle and powerful at the same time. He has that in common with the lords, along with that proud, nearly suffocating personality.
“Hey, I heard that!” Gabriel says from the other side of the horse, humor in his voice.
“You were meant to,” I reply, patting the horse on his neck before stepping away. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this was your personal horse, he has so much character.”
Gabriel comes around to hand up the brush, then urges his stallion into the remaining open stall. “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment. He is mine, and his name is Forza. It means strength.”
As if knowing that he’s being talked about, Forza tosses his head again, snorting. He really is a beautiful horse. The sheer size of him dwarfs me, letting me know that he’s a Clydesdale. His tan coat is well kept and shiny, and the deep brown of his mane is the perfect contrast. I’d love to ride double with Gabriel sometime soon.
“If he’s yours, why is he being kept here?” I ask while following Gabriel out of the barn and back up the slope to the back patio of the castle.
He shrugs. “Whenever I’m gone from my home coven, I have Forza transported here. He’s happiest with Raph’s string.”
“String?” I ask, catching up to him at the doors.
“It’s a word for a group of horses.”
Before I can ask any more questions, the others rush up to us. Michael grips my shoulders and looks me over before crushing me against his chest in a firm hug. It surprises me, and I let out a startled laugh while making eye contact with Raph and Uriel from over his shoulder. Uriel shrugs, smiling, but the worry lines around his eyes give him away. They were all worried about me after my quick getaway earlier. Raph refuses to meet my eyes, probably still ashamed after I blew up on him earlier.
I pull away from Michael, patting him on the cheek for good measure, before walking to Raph. “Look at me,” I say, and he does, his face open and full of regret. “I had some time to think about it, and I don’t blame you. It may have hurt me in the past, but it wasn’t meant to. You had my best interest at heart, and I know that now. I’m going to try to move on, I want to move on.”
He smiles tentatively at me. “I will do everything in my power to make it up to you, Blair. Even if you want me to send him away.”
Closing my mind off, I briefly entertain the idea. Would I like him to send Carden away from here? Or would facing him allow me to come to terms with my grief? I honestly don’t know the answer right now, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t just be sending away my ex, but also a friend. I’m sure that they’ve grown close in the last few years after living together for so long. Raph might even know Carden better now than I do, and it makes me wonder just how much he’s changed since becoming a vampire.
“No, don’t send him away. That’s not necessary. Let’s all work together to move forward. I’m going to do my best to get to know him again, to try and let go,” I reply, gripping his hands for dear life.
Even saying the words scares me to death. Raph pulls me in for a hug, taking a deep breath of my scent. It’s then that he pauses, a primal growl slipping from his throat. He sniffs again before pulling back, his fangs out and crimson eyes flashing. My eyes widen when I realize what’s happening. He smelled Gabriel and I’s love making, or bloodletting, or both.
Shit, I project to Gabriel without looking back at him.
“Indeed,” he murmurs aloud, taking a step back as Raph advances on him.
“You took advantage of her while she was upset?” He nearly bellows, towering over his younger brother, fingers curling as the nails grow longer.
Michael and Uriel both respond to Raph’s claim, teeth snapping at their brother as they too stalk forward. Sweat breaks out along my lower back as I grip my hands together in front of me. I don’t know how to stop them from doing whatever it is they're about to do. Then it dawns on me, I can lower my shield and shout at them!
It’s not his fault, it’s mine! I seduced him!
I nearly scream the words in my head, trying to catch their attention. It works, as they flinch at the loud screech before turning toward me and tilting their heads primitively. Having their undivided attention when their fangs and talons are out makes me nervous, even while knowing they’d never hurt me. I shift from foot to foot, biting my lip.
“It was me, he said no several times, but I wouldn’t let up.”
Michael turns to Gabriel. “Is this true?”
Gabriel nods, eyes wide, hands still in the air in a placating gesture. “Yes, but I was the one who decided to take her blood. I’m sorry, brothers, I have failed you.”
Michael clasps him on the shoulder. “No, we were being unfair, waiting. It’s her choice whether or not to fully submit to us, and she will do so when she’s ready. It’s no reason to withhold sex.”
Gabriel heaves out a breath before slumping forward, clearly relieved by his brothers’ understanding. I’m not sure why he was so worried, I knew they’d give him a pass, especially when it led me to apologize and become closer to them. Raph turns back to me, giving me a strange look.
“He taught you to close yourself off to us,” he says.
“Yes, he did,” I say, yawning.
“Interesting,” is all he says in response, eyes unreadable.
A sudden bout of fatigue grips me, and my eyelids flutter. Uriel steps forward, holding out his hand. I take his hand and allow him to lead me toward my room. The others follow, coming right into the bedroom with us. It doesn’t bother me, that is, until they go so far as to climb into bed around me, petting me and massaging me on all sides. It isn’t sexual, if anything it leaves me struggling to stay awake.
“What are you guys doing? The bed isn’t big enough for all of us,” I say, voice low and thick with sleep.
“We’re all going to rest together; we want to be near you. Is that alright?” Uriel asks, voice dripping with vampire magic.
I blink my eyes open, narrowing them at him as best I can. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it doesn’t work on me. But I’m saying yes anyway. As long as you don’t stop massaging me until I fall asleep.”
An orchestra of chuckles follows my comment, leaving me smiling faintly as my eyes flutter closed, a sigh escaping my lips. In a matter of moments, I’m drifting off, the warm presence of my lords being a welcome lullaby.
***
The next morning, I roll over and reach out only to feel empty sheets. My heart plummets when I realize that they’re gone. I feel cold without them in my bed, and it makes me wish that they had stayed until I woke up. Am I becoming attached to them beyond reason? I think, chewing on my bottom lip as I slide to the edge of the bed. That realization makes me throw up my mental shield, stopping my thoughts from drifting away.
As if on cue, Scarlet and Eden burst into the room, throwing open the curtains and pinching me cheeks. I push Eden away with a scowl before marching toward the bathroom door, already smelling the fresh scent of rose bath salts. It’s nice how they have my bath and coffee ready every morning before I even wake. Perhaps I’m getting used to the life of a human queen, I think, snorting.
Despite it feeling heavenly, I rush through bathing so I can get downstairs faster. There’s one more apology I need to make before moving on today. I might even owe him an explanation. Ugh. Even the thought of explaining why I freaked out yesterday to Carden makes me cringe. It will only make our new relationship as friends harder, maybe even impossible. Now that I think about it, I’m slightly embarrassed for how I acted in front of everyone yesterday, even if it was a little bit justified.
Eden blow dries my hair and soft curls it, making it look fluffy and natural while Scarlet paints my lips with the finishing touches of gloss. They had convinced me to wear a dress today, and I’m still miffed about
it. Fall colors don’t really suit my skin tone, and this knee length gold chiffon gown with leaves sewn into the hem is no exception.
“Do I really look okay in this?” I ask again when they allow me to stand up and take a look at the completed look.
“Of course! You look beautiful,” Scarlet responds immediately.
I turn in the mirror, looking at myself from all angles, and am surprised by what I see. The gold does war with my skin tone, yet the dress being on the shorter side shows off my long legs, and the matching stilettos make them look even longer. Satisfied, I turn toward my maids and smile. They return it before ushering me out the door, saying that I’ll be late to breakfast.
No one is in the hall to escort me, leaving my heart to deflate for the second time today. I nearly slouch before forcing myself to straighten. No man will control my mood, I had vowed that long ago, and it won’t start now after so many years of being my own person. While I’ll allow myself to like them, even to. . . lust after them, that’s it. No love, stupid overwhelming infatuation, and certainly no reliance. I never even gave Carden that for god’s sake!
At least I’d like to tell myself that I didn’t.
The thoughts swirl away when I turn into the dining room. Everyone is there, chatting away with smiles on their lips. I know the moment they spot me, all that will end, so I stop in the doorway for a moment, observing. Jade leans into Carden, placing two fingers along his bicep. It doesn’t make me jealous when he appears to enjoy it, in fact, I want him too. I want him to be happy just as much as I want to be happy. That’s a step in the right direction, right?
Michael spots me wavering in the entrance and waves me in, that dazzling smile still on his face. The others glance over, and I brace myself for their happiness to slip away, but it doesn’t. They’re smiling, so I give them a hesitant smile in return. Are we really going to pretend yesterday never happened? Did the lords order them to do so? I glance at them for confirmation before remembering that I have my mental wall in place. Instead of asking aloud, I take my seat in between Uriel and Michael.
“You look beautiful in my coven’s colors, Blair,” Raph says, a sultry purr in his voice.
My core throbs in response to his words as I look up at him through my long lashes. “Thank you.”
He grins, and it holds so many devilish promises that I nearly squirm in delight. They’re just as eager to take me to bed as I am to be taken. Hopefully, we can start it after breakfast is over, that’s how horny I am. In an attempt to cool myself I face forward and cross my legs. But it’s too late, all the vampires at the table have scented my lust, and each of my lords are looking at me like I’m going to be their midday snack, fangs out and gleaming.
“Put those away,” I admonish while buttering two pieces of toast. I can only hope that they don’t notice my shaking fingers.
Gabriel chuckles before taking a sip of the blood in his goblet and raising it to me, “To the most alluring woman in the room.”
His brothers follow suit and hold up their glasses, making me blush. I glance at Carden out of the corner of my eye to see him not even holding his glass, let alone raising it. He’s focused on Jade, gazing at her with a primal hunger I’ve never seen on his face before. She’s looking at me, smiling and holding out her glass of water. I grin back at her, holding my glass to her instead. A blush fans across her face when Carden joins me, and we share a secret smile.
If he’s anything like who he was before he turned, then there’s no one else I’d want to love my best friend. Even if it does send a pang through my chest in the deepest, darkest parts of myself. I’ll ignore it, I’ll grow from it, and then leave it all behind for something better. The thought makes me glance at the lords beside me, a smile on my face. When did I start thinking this way? From the very beginning, a voice whispers in the back of my mind, and I shake it away.
“So, when’s the party this time around?” I ask to divert my own silly thoughts.
Raph leans forward, setting his goblet on the table. “This coming weekend, so about three days. And we actually want your help planning it this time. Now that we’ve gotten to know you, it’s time that you learn a little bit about your duties as our queen.”
His words peak my interest and I lean forward, cold toast forgotten on my plate. “Really? I was wondering about that. Do I have a job of sorts? Because I really don’t like being idle.”
“I guess you could call it a job,” Michael says, tapping his chin. “You plan parties, keep the courtiers happy, and enjoy your days decorating the castles for the seasons. Oh! And give us your blood of course.”
I pull my brows together, making a sour face. “Keep the courtiers happy? That sounds awful. I hate crowds.”
Uriel laughs. “It’s not that bad, they’ll mostly leave you alone. All they come for is the free booze, good music, and food. As long as you have those things at every gathering, it should be smooth sailing.”
I sit back in my chair, disappointment swirling in my chest. What they’re describing is nothing like what I wanted my duties to be. I thought I’d be helping them write laws and change society for the better, to make it more fair for humans and vampires alike. That’s what having a job looks like. Not useless and costly partying night after night. I’m not sure I can stomach it. The lords watch me closely, noting every change in mood or facial expression. Probably because my mind is closed off to them now.
“Alright, so when do I start?” I say, much less enthusiastically than before.
Raph stares at me, his gaze practically cutting me to the core. “Today. Carden and Jade will be the first members of your inner circle. All queens have one. They live in the castle with you and help you with all of the tasks placed on your shoulders.”
His words send a jolt of hope through my veins. I don’t have to do it alone! Thank the Gods and all that is holy. I turn to Jade, bouncing in my seat while clasping my hands together. She’s doing the same, proving just how alike we are. The sight sets Gabriel off again, his smooth laughter grazing against my skin like a caress. I lock eyes with him across the table. Mischief dances there, and a little bit of mocking humor. Despite being happier and, I’d say more than willing to get to know me, he’s still an ass sometimes.
Piss off, I mouth to him. The insult only makes his smile widen, just as I knew it would. I’m beginning to figure him out. Poking fun at me might very well be his favorite thing to do for the rest of our lives.
The rest of our lives.
The thought came through my mind so effortlessly that it shocks me. These men are going to be the one constant in my life for the next one hundred years. Pointing it out to myself floors me, and I grip both hand rests on my chair for balance. It’s not that I hadn’t noticed it before, of course I have, but it feels more real now than it ever has before. We’re not playing dress up, it’s not temporary. We’re creating a life together. And maybe it’s time that I take that seriously because every choice from here on out will affect the rest of my life.
The rest of our lives.
Chapter Four
The days leading up to the big party fly by in a whirlwind of stupid little decisions. Which ribbon would you like around the center pieces, white or gold? How many pastries should be made? How many pints of blood do I recommend? Should the banners be red or yellow, or should there be none at all? I never knew royal party planning could be so fantastically dull. The only fun part was choosing the type of food to be served, and of course, Jade and I chose our favorites. Other than that, it was stressful and a waste of time.
“There, done,” Jade sighs, falling back into the couch next to Carden.
The final instructions have been written and signed by me, leaving no box unchecked or hall undecorated. It’s a relief just to be done with it all. I honestly think working as a waitress would be better than this for the rest of my life.
“Thank the lord. That was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do,” I complain.
Carden chuckles. “You’ll g
et used to it.”
I nearly flinch, but refrain. Every time he talks I’m reminded of his existence, and while I vowed to be happy for my two friends beside me, the pain of his loss still lingers in the dark recesses of my heart. All I’ve done is become better at compartmentalizing my feelings for the old Carden in comparison to the new Carden. They’re two different people, after all, according to the lords.
I glance at him, biting my lip with nerves. I still haven’t found the time to apologize to him. I’d prefer to do it in private, but we’ve never been alone together. Either Jade or the lords are in the room with us, and I suspect that that isn’t just a coincidence. They’re making sure that I don’t get uncomfortable, or maybe too comfortable, with this new Carden. It’s both sweet and infuriating. I’m starting to worry that I’ll never get a minute to apologize any time soon, making it stale and no longer worthwhile. Maybe it already is, I mean, he doesn’t seem upset with me or even curious about it.
“Now that you’re done with party planning what do you plan on doing tonight?” Jade asks, waggling her eyebrows.
I laugh. “I don’t know, the lords have been just as busy as us. I’ve barely seen them over the past few days.”
She stands, and Carden follows suit. “Well, I wish you luck in your pursuit of a good time. In the meantime, Carden and I are going out on the town. He promised to show me some of the local clubs.”
My chest aches when I realize that there’s no way I could come out with them. Not only would it be unsafe now that every vampire in the country knows about my blood, but it would also be pointless and painful. They’re obviously going out on a date, and I’d just be a third wheel if I didn’t bring my lords. Or at least one of them, but I don’t really see them as the club type.
Blood Deception: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Royal Covens Book 2) Page 3
