The other men seemed to consider his words.
David sighed. “I don’t know, I guess I just realized how fast life can change. Look at Beth’s husband. He was so young, yet he is gone. Life is too short to wait on things like this.” Jah, he was fighting a losing battle for sure and for certain. Surely they detected the desperation in his voice.
“Each man’s time is in Der Herr’s hands. You know this,” Minister Christner, who’d replaced David when he’d become bishop, reminded.
“Jah, I know.”
“And you have no other motive in doing this?” The deacon asked, his brow arched high on his forehead.
“What motive do you think I would have?” He shrugged as casually as he could. “I mean, I do admit that it would be more convenient for Uriah’s widow to move in with me. She does not have income from Uriah’s employment coming in now, so she won’t be able to pay the rent. She also has her grossdawdi to care for.” He scratched his beard. “And I do have others—the new family that is joining our district next week—that would be interested in renting the place. As far as I know, they haven’t been able to secure housing in this area yet. This would be a blessing to them.”
“And have you talked to Uriah’s widow about your intentions?” Minister Christner folded his hands in his lap. “What does she think about all this?”
“I have. And she is agreeable to marrying right away.” David nodded.
“Well, I see no good reason to delay the ceremony. But before we rush into a decision, I suggest we each give some time to prayer. We can meet again tomorrow with an answer, if the others are agreeable.” Minster Miller looked to the other men, who nodded in apparent agreement. “Very well, then. Tomorrow it is.”
David released a breath and sent a plea of his own heavenward.
~
“The answer is no.” Deacon Yoder, typically the bearer of bad news, pronounced.
“No?” David removed his hat and raked a hand through his hair. This couldn’t be. Those were not the words he’d been hoping…expecting to hear.
“The leaders have agreed unanimously. You do not have good enough reason to take such a drastic step.”
“But she…she…” He shook his head. He couldn’t admit his sin in front of his fellow leaders. Not now. Perhaps not ever.
“We could understand if you had a brood that needed to be cared for, but seeing as that you’re alone, well…” Minister Christner shrugged. “It will be after her mourning period.”
That was too long. David swallowed. “A year?”
“Nee, we’ve agreed to six months.”
Six months. Ach… “Jah, okay. Six months then.” David stood and nodded his goodbye. He couldn’t vacate Deacon Yoder’s barn quickly enough. He had to go tell Beth right away. Ach, six long months. That meant evidence of Beth’s condition would be apparent prior to their wedding. No, that would not do.
David stopped, turned around, and headed straight back to the deacon’s barn. “She has informed me that she’s in the familye way,” he blurted out.
The leaders stopped and eyed each other, then looked back at David. “Ach, why didn’t you say so?”
He shrugged. “She, uh, wanted to keep it confidential. These things aren’t usually known. She didn’t want to start the gossip mill.”
“Yet she shared it with you.” The deacon nodded.
“She did. In confidence.” He continued. “It would be better if she weren’t alone. At my haus, there would always be someone present.”
The men looked at each other and shrugged, then nodded in unison. Minister Miller spoke up, “I think that might be an acceptable reason to marry right away.”
David expelled a relieved sigh.
“It’s too bad Uriah won’t be around to see his sohn or dochder, ain’t so?” The deacon mused aloud.
“Jah. A tragedy for sure and certain.” Guilt washed over David as he said the words.
THIRTY-SIX
Seven months later…
“It’s time, David.” Beth couldn’t help the excitement at the thought of finally holding their child in her arms.
“You’re sure and certain?” Worry furrowed his brow.
“Jah.” She rubbed her abdomen. “These contractions keep coming. Faster each time.”
“Ach, okay. I will have Simon fetch the midwife right quick.”
She watched her beloved disappear with haste.
Twenty minutes later, Josephine arrived, her midwifery bag in tow. “You are ready now, ain’t so?”
“Jah, I think so.” Beth grunted.
“Give me a moment to wash my hands so I can catch your little one.”
“I feel a lot of pressure down there.”
“Like you need to push?” Josephine nodded. “Go right ahead. I’m ready.”
~
David moved to the bed and leaned down to kiss his wife’s lips. Perspiration still dampened her brow from the labor she’d endured. She was just as beautiful as ever. He’d been fortunate to have her as his fraa. “Let me see our little one.”
Beth gazed into his eyes. “He’s a wonderful gut boppli, ain’t so? He looks just like his vatter. Would you like to hold him?”
He nodded and took their child into his arms. He was so small, so adorable. “Ach, he does indeed.” David held his wife’s gaze and they silently communicated what they were both thinking—if Uriah hadn’t known before he died, he would have surely known they’d had an affair the moment she’d given birth. This child’s face mirrored his own. There was no denying their resemblance.
Ach, what would the leaders say? Nee, he wouldn’t think on that right now.
He just wanted to enjoy this little one. Perfect in every way, it seemed. Except how he was conceived.
What would the consequences have been, had Beth’s husband not died? What if Uriah had spent Beth’s entire pregnancy believing the boppli was his own, only to stare into the eyes of a child who carried the bishop’s traits? Would he and David have had a physical altercation? Would he have demanded a divorce from his wife? Would he have demanded David and Beth be put in the Bann? Would he have taken his wife and moved to another district for David to never see her again?
Jah, he felt remorse at having caused another man’s death, but what could he have done? Hadn’t he actually spared Uriah heartache? Embarrassment? Jah, he’d sinned with Beth, but hadn’t he made it right by taking her as his wife? Jah, they’d created a child, but would it be better if the child never existed? He thought not. Nee, kinner were a blessing from Der Herr, they were His reward. Yet, did he deserve to be rewarded for his sin? Perhaps the boppli existed in spite of his sin. Jah, that had to be it.
He surveyed their little one’s hair and the contours of his face. Indeed, he was a beautiful child. “You are precious, little one.”
David peeled his eyes off their boppli and looked at Beth. He took her hand and smiled. “I have so much joy in my heart right now, I can hardly stand it.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
David and Beth had already had a couple of visits from well-wishers, although their little one had only come into the world a few days ago. But David had put a stop to the visitors because his fraa needed time to rest and recuperate. Everyone would see the boppli at meeting soon enough.
A knock from the other side of the door turned David’s attention away from their little one. It seemed all he ever did these days was admire his boppli. And his gorgeous fraa. A perfect family. Jah, he was a blessed man.
“Who is it?” David asked roughly, insulted that someone would dare to interrupt this intimate moment with his beautiful new family. He wasn’t pleased that his instructions hadn’t been followed. He fully intended to send whoever it was away.
“Bishop David, I am sorry to interrupt.” The housekeeper’s timid voice came through the closed door. “But you have a visitor.”
“We are not accepting visitors right now, Phoebe. Please relay that to whoever wants to visit. I thought I’d already—”
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“I know.” Her tone was apologetic. “It is Bishop Nathan.”
David frowned. There was no way he could deny the highly respected overseer of their region. Nathan had been a trusted counselor and friend not only to David, but to several other district bishops throughout the area.
“Bishop Nathan is welcome. Please, send him in.” David permitted and smiled at his wife, knowing she’d forgive the brief intrusion.
The door opened and Nathan walked in.
“Welcome.” David smiled. “Come, you must see mei boppli.”
Nathan frowned but followed David.
“He is a wunderbaar child, ain’t so?” David beamed.
Nathan looked briefly at the child, not even really taking notice, then eyed David with intensity. “Is there someplace we can talk alone?”
Ach, church business. David glanced at Beth, his look apologetic. He reached for her hand.
She smiled. “It is okay, David. The boppli and I will be fine while you meet with the bishop. I think this little one wants to eat now anyway.”
He studied their little one in his wife’s arms, who nuzzled her breast, evidencing the words she’d just spoken.
“Jah, okay.” He squeezed her hand gently, then gestured Nathan toward the door. “We can talk in my office.”
He led the way to his private workspace and closed the door behind them. “To what do I owe this visit?” David gestured to the seat across from his desk and took the executive chair himself.
Nathan appeared reluctant, but sat down. “Have I told you the story of the man with his pet lamb?”
What an odd question. Did the bishop interrupt his family time to talk about sheep?
David mused on Nathan’s question, though. How long had it been since he thought about the beloved flock he’d raised as a youth? He still owned quite a large flock now, due to his fondness of the creatures. But he’d delegated the main care of his flock to trusted employees. He sure did miss them. “Nee, I don’t think so. Did I ever tell you about my little Fluffy?” He grinned.
“No, you have not.” Nathan frowned. He nodded, but David sensed the bishop’s patience was being tried. “Go ahead. Tell me.”
David hadn’t thought of his sweet pet in a long time. “Little Fluffy was the runt in my flock, so the other sheep kind of picked on her and left her out of their frolicking. I kept her close to me and sometimes let her ride on my shoulders. She quickly became my favorite. You should have seen Mamm’s face when she came into my room in the morning and saw little Fluffy sleeping next to me.” David chuckled, recalling the event. “I loved that little one so much. More than my brothers most days.”
Nathan nodded. “I want to tell you a story about a little lamb just like Fluffy.”
“Say on.” David smiled. He loved stories about animals, especially sheep. Perhaps one day he’d consider writing a children’s book about his adventures with Fluffy. Jah, his and Beth’s boppli and future kinner would surely enjoy that. He smiled at the thought.
“There was a man who was very rich and owned thousands of sheep. He had so much money, he could afford anything he wanted. On the other side of the town where he lived, there was a very poor farmer. This poor farmer didn’t even own his place, but he rented from some kind soul that allowed him to pay what he could.
“This man had a small family and owned only one animal, a little lamb just like your Fluffy. Boy, did he love that little lamb just like he was one of the family. He was very special to him and did everything with him.
“One day, a traveler visited the rich man. The rich man wanted to prepare a nice meal for his visitor. But instead of taking one of the sheep from his own flock, he went and stole the little pet lamb from the poor man who’d loved it like a child. The rich man took the lamb, butchered it, and fed it to his guest.”
“What? You mean he stole this man’s pet…and ate it?”
Nathan nodded.
David shot up from the chair he sat on, and paced back and forth. Anger coursed through his veins. How could anyone do such a thing? How could they be so cruel?
“Who is this wicked man? He’s not Amish, is he? If so, he should be shunned, at the very least! How could he take the one precious lamb from the poor man when he could have chosen any other? Where is he? I want his address, Nathan. I’m serious. I’ll go find him and give him a stern talking to. He needs to be taught right from wrong. How could anyone do such a thing? That’s just plain cruel.” David shook his head. This man deserved no mercy. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he could get justice for that poor farmer. “The very least he should do is pay back four times what he took. He needs to be put in the harshest bann there is. He could never understand what he did to that lamb’s owner.”
Nathan sat quietly listening to David’s tirade.
“Nathan, tell me who it is! Which district does he live in? I will go and have words with him. He is an evil, evil man.”
Nathan stared at him in silence for a fraction of time, making David feel uneasy. Then he finally spoke. “It is you. The rich man is you, David.”
His mouth fell open. “Me? I don’t understand. I didn’t take a—”
“You have committed things even worse than this—things that would have been worthy of death in the Old Testament. You have broken many commandments. You have lied. You have coveted. You have lusted after your neighbor’s wife. You have taken her and committed adultery with her, resulting in pregnancy. Then, you had her husband killed.”
David’s jaw dropped. How could Nathan possibly know this? He hadn’t said anything. At all. To anyone. Had Beth told him? Nee…
“But I—” His head spun, thinking on Nathan’s words. Thinking on his own words. He wanted to defend himself. Surely he wasn’t that wicked. If God hadn’t made Beth so beautiful, if she hadn’t been bathing on her balcony…
Then a passage he’d read many times struck at his heart… Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. How many times had he read those words? But they’d never been so real, so poignant as they were at this moment.
What could he say? He was guilty. Nathan’s words were true.
“As surely as the Lord lives, David, do not deny these things! Do not make this worse than it already is. If that is possible.” Nathan scowled. “Do you believe that you can actually get away with all of these transgressions? That they are hidden from the Most High God? That He will turn a blind eye because you are the bishop? If anything, you are held to a higher standard! What you have done is scandalous. It is shameful and brings reproach upon Der Herr and His people. David, Gott is not pleased. You will see grave consequences because of your actions, I guarantee it. What you have done is inexcusable. And it is far worse than taking a little lamb!”
David sat dumbfounded at Nathan’s stern rebuke. It was true. It was all true. He hung his head and buried his face in his hands. “Forgive me, Lord. Please, forgive me.”
“He will forgive, jah. But you will not escape the consequences of your sin. It will follow you for as long as you live.”
A thousand arrows shot through his heart. “What can I do? How can I make it right?”
Nathan sighed. “It is impossible to make it right now. Can you bring a man back from the dead? Can you undo the shameful deed you have participated in? You cannot.”
David swallowed the lump in his throat. “But Der Herr will forgive me, ain’t so?”
“Yes. It would be wise to go before the congregation as well and repent.”
David cringed. What would the g’may think of him if he confessed sins of this magnitude? At the very least, he and Beth would be put in the Bann. But he deserved it. “Ach, Nathan. This is a difficult thing that you are asking.”
“I fear you do not realize the im
plications of your sin.” Nathan frowned. “It is the least you can do. Besides, they already suspect something. And if they get one look at your boppli, they will know that you are the father.”
David sighed wearily. “Jah, okay. I will talk to Beth.” Although, he didn’t really want to. He’d already caused his wife so much pain and heartache. Making her kneel before their congregation would be the ultimate form of shame and humiliation. Through all of this, hadn’t she suffered the most? He hated to remove the smile from her face. She deserved happiness, not more sorrow.
David’s heart smote him. This was all his doing. He wasn’t worthy of Beth’s love. He wasn’t worthy to be Der Herr’s servant. And he certainly wasn’t worthy to be a leader of their people. Nee, he deserved to crawl on the ground like a lowly worm.
Nathan stopped by the door prior to exiting. He turned and stared at David, delivering a stern expression along with a warning. “Walk in the Spirit, David, and ye shall not obey the lust of the flesh.”
Walk in the Spirit… Jah, he needed to do that. Badly.
THIRTY-EIGHT
The horrified look on Beth’s face expressed exactly how David felt. How he wished he could spare her this task.
“You…” She swallowed. “You want us to go before the g’may?” He heard the trembling in her voice.
“We must, Beth.” He frowned. “Nathan knows. I don’t know how, but he knows everything. Perhaps one of the ministers noticed the resemblance between the boppli and me.”
“I fear the people may already know something too. I’ve sensed whispering behind our backs.”
“If that is the case, then confession is the sensible thing to do. Are you sorry for what we have done?”
An Amish Betrayal Page 12
