by William Link
“I’m not here to annoy you, sir, but the blinds were closed when we got here.”
Hell. He had forgotten to open the damn blinds before he high-tailed it out. “The murderer undoubtedly closed them before he did his dirty work. He certainly didn’t want anyone on the street looking in.”
“That’s what I thought too, Mr. Pellingham. Just wanted to check with you.” He hesitated, thinking. “But you know …”
This guy was starting to drive him crazy. But at least he wasn’t scratching his damn neck any more. “What?”
“If he was smart he probably went out that back door. If he went out the front somebody might’ve remembered him leaving.”
“Makes sense. Now anything else before I pick up my cousin?”
Columbo pursed his lips, reflecting again. “No, can’t think of anything else I wanted to ask you.”
Troy quickly turned away and was about to head for the rear door when Columbo said, “Oh, just more thing, sir.”
“What’s that?”
“We gotta get your prints before you leave.”
“They’re all over the store; after all, I worked here.”
“I know that, sir, but we have to separate yours from others, just in case the killer was a little careless and left us one.” Columbo was staring guilelessly at him.
“Okay, but please make it fast. My cousin’s in a shaky condition and I want to get her out in the world, get some fresh air, before she breaks down again.”
“Excellent idea, getting her out. I promise it won’t take a minute.”
One of the plainclothesmen took his prints and Troy was out of there.
He picked Marcella up at the mansion and took her to Spago in Beverly Hills. She seemed a lot better than before, with her careful makeup and stylish getup. He had requested a table near the back wall so they could have a private conversation.
“What do you suggest I have?” she asked, looking candidly at him over her menu. He was taken again by her beauty.
“Everything on the menu’s great, the salads, the fish, chops, whatever you’re in the mood for.”
She told him she would have the North American plaice, a fish Troy had never heard of.
The prescient waiter was there at almost that instant. “What can I get you two?” he asked.
Troy ordered for both of them, deciding on a steak for himself.
“Very good,” the waiter said. “How would you like that steak done, sir?”
“Ah, medium rare.”
“May I get you some starters?”
Troy looked at Marcella, who shook her head no.
“Not today,” Troy told him.
“Very good.” The waiter melted away in the crowded restaurant.
“You seem much better,” Troy said to her.
“I guess I am. A good night’s sleep cures a lot. But I’ll never get over Uncle Rodney’s death. Murder, I should say.”
“Neither will I,” he lied. “What do you think about this Lieutenant Columbo? Is he up to the job?”
“I only spent a few minutes with him. How did you size him up?”
Troy shrugged. “Hard to tell, never having had any dealings with cops before. I guess he’s par for the course. Sort of disorganized, though, forgetful. Did you see how he couldn’t find a pocket to put his notebook in? And the way he shuffled around like he didn’t know what to do. If he’s in charge of finding Uncle Rodney’s murderer, God forbid, I wouldn’t want to take any bets.”
She smiled. “That’s not very encouraging.”
“Well, we’ll find out, won’t we?” He wanted to reach across and take her hands, but he resisted the impulse. “Let’s just have a nice meal and try to forget what happened for a little while.”
She nodded in confirmation.
When their food arrived, they were silent as hen they ate.
The waiter suddenly appeared as they finished. “May I tempt you with some desserts?”
Again Marcella shook her head.
“Some other time,” Troy said.
“Very good, sir. I hope you enjoyed your meal.”
Troy nodded. “We did. We’ll be back soon.”
Pleased, the waiter drifted away.
“How about a drive?” Troy asked her. “It’ll keep you away from the house for a few hours, take your mind off things.”
She mulled this over. Then: “Yes, let’s do it. Change of scenery.”
He drove them out to the ocean, turning north up the Pacific Coast Highway. “You want to go as far as Santa Barbara?” he asked her.
“No. Maybe half-way and then turn back.”
“You’re the boss, Boss.”
At approximately the half-way point, he turned around and headed back.
“Who would kill Uncle Rodney?” she mused.
“Good question. I don’t think he had any enemies.”
Her hand rested near her side and he noticed she hadn’t applied any polish on her nails. “People, his customers, really liked him. He was always fair in his business dealings, as far as I know.”
“We don’t know everything,” he said. “Some people you treat fair and they still have problems with you.”
“How would you know, Troy? You never ran a successful business, did you?” She smiled to take some of the sting out of it.
What was she getting at? “No, but I goddamn tried. And I did deal with some people you could never please.”
“But now you’re going to come into a lot of money when the estate is cleared.”
What the hell was she getting at? Did she think he had murdered Rodney? “So are you. But it’s a hell of a way to inherit, wouldn’t you say?”
“If I remember, Uncle Rodney never thought you tried hard enough.”
“Well, he never said anything to me.” But he had. Many times. Luckily, Marcella hadn’t been present at any of those. But why was she bringing this stuff up?
He decided to take the deer by the antlers or whatever the hell the saying was. “Why are you bringing this up now?”
“No reason. Just seems you got lucky when Uncle Rodney died. The inheritance, I mean.”
“I’m not even sure I’m in his will. He certainly never mentioned anything about it.”
She lowered the window slightly and the wind was not kind to her hair. “I think he had millions. How does it feel to maybe becoming a multi-millionaire?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea. But if he left some money to me, I do know I would get rid of the payments on this old rattle-trap. First things first, though.”
She smiled to herself. She removed a scarf from her handbag and tied it around her blowing hair. Making her look even more adorable, he noted.
He decided to show her some balls: “What about you, Marcella? Did you ever have a paying job in your life?”
The question didn’t seem to disturb her in the least. “No, I haven’t. I was a pampered brat ever since Uncle Rodney took care of me. And that, of course, was Uncle Rodney’s choice. We loved each other.”
“Pretty soft life,” he said, looking over at her. Better not over-do this, he thought. How the hell am I going to make her fall in love with me? Seems all she wanted to do was pick on him.
“Yes. Pretty soft. I’ve had a life wrapped in cotton-wool. But that’s the way he wanted it. I majored in political science in college and that prepares you for nothing.”
He met her eyes. “Did Rodney think you’d meet some rich young man who would sweep you off your feet? You are quite beautiful, you know.”
Her smile brightened. “Why thank you, Troy. I never thought you noticed.”
“I’ve got two eyes, don’t I?”
“Do you think you could fall in love with me?”
Jesus, she was really putting him on the spot. “What makes you think I’m not already in love with you? That I was in love with you ever since you were no taller than a toadstool.”
“I never knew that,” she said. It was hard to tell if she was sincere or not.
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“Well, now you know.”
“How come you never told me this before?”
“Because I’m good at hiding things.” Like committing murder, he thought.
“I’m really surprised.”
He was having trouble keeping his eyes on the road and also glancing at her. She looked like she had more color in her face. God, was he turning her on?
“Well, now you know,” he said, dangerously taking his eyes off the road again for a quick moment to look at her. “So what are we going to do about it? Do you feel anything for me?”
“You know you’re quite handsome,” she said. Her slight teasing tone had vanished. “Want to call each other’s bluff?”
“What do you mean?” He could feel his heart jumping.
“We could stop and take a motel room. Just for the afternoon.”
My God, was she kidding? Was this really happening to him? Much earlier, he had thought his lucky star had disappeared somewhere in the firmament.
There was a row of motels on the side facing the ocean. “Take your pick,” he said.
“Any one’s as good as another. Let’s try this one right here.”
He waited until a few speeding cars had passed before he swung into the motel’s driveway.
“I’ll see if they have a room,” she said, getting out of the car.
He waited, his pulse racing. Was this his day or not? Sometimes Lady Luck smiled when you weren’t even looking.
She came out of the manager’s office and gave him a thumbs-up. He drove into one of the empty stalls and parked.
He practically floated out of the car like he was on a magic carpet.
She had a key with a tag and she opened door number four. He followed her in, breathing deeply. If she couldn’t read his surging desire she was both blind and deaf.
The room was typical with moldy green drapes open to the highway and a double bed with a bleached-out russet bedspread. But who gave a damn?
She closed the drapes and pulled the bedspread and blanket to the foot of the bed. The sheets looked fresh and clean.
Before he knew it, she was pulling off her sweater and shucking off her skirt. Off came her bra and panties and he was so impressed with her gleaming nudity that he wondered if he could perform. He found out almost immediately.
It was a half hour of fabulous sex. She even had a condom in her handbag! He totally forgot where he was as he enjoyed her opulent body.
When it was over, he lay back on the bed exhausted. What he really wanted now was a cigarette, even though he had given them up years ago. He was happily astonished when she removed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from that horn of plenty, her handbag. She shook out a cigarette and handed it to him.
He stuck the cigarette in his mouth. “My God,” he said, “did you plan all this? Knowing men always want a cigarette after sex?”
She only smiled, lighting his cigarette. Then she was lying next to him on the sheet, staring at him with those depthless blue eyes.
“I think you did,” he said, giving her a large smile in return.
“Do you know what I think?” she said.
“No. What?”
“I think you put Uncle Rodney out of his pain.” The smile hadn’t lost its strength.
“What? Jesus, that’s a terrible thing to say. I liked the old man. I could never do something like that.”
“No? Not even to split all his millions?”
He sat up on one arm, staring back at her. “No! Absolutely not! I wouldn’t have the guts to pull something off like that.” I wouldn’t have the guts? What a stupid thing to say.
“Sure you would. We just made love, Troy. You’re a very strong guy, even down there. “She poked a playful finger at him.
“Well, I didn’t. That cop will find the real killer and it certainly won’t be me.”
“You’re a little flushed, baby. What brought that on?”
He poked her gently in both breasts. “You did, baby. You could arouse a dead man, and you know it.”
“Maybe I could. Never tried it.”
“Well you sure got me aroused again.”
Now she raised herself on her arm. “When we’re having a serious conversation?”
“It’s not serious. It’s stupid. Get that crazy idea out of your pretty head that I did it. Columbo will undoubtedly nab the murderer.”
“I thought you said the jury was out on him.”
“Maybe he’s a little shrewder than we think. As I said, I have no experience with cops. How do we know he won’t come up with the killer?”
She was grinning. “The killer just gave me one of the best lays I’ve ever had.”
“I’m not the goddamn killer! Got that?”
She was putting her bra back on, and he was unfortunately losing sight of those lovely breasts. Maybe they would do this again even if she thought he was the murderer. And it seemed she really did, damn it.
She was slipping into her panties, one gorgeous leg at a time, which was driving him insane again. They had to have another session; that was imperative. Should he admit he did it? He had the strong impression that she didn’t care one way or another. God, how he had misjudged her! Little Miss Innocent with a condom in her handbag.
It was like she was reading his mind: “I don’t care if you killed the old bastard. He kept me penned up in that house for years when I could’ve been out doing what we just did. Now I’ve got my freedom and I love it.”
“I know what you mean.”
She was silent, staring at him again. Suddenly, she began firing a bunch of questions. “Is there anything Columbo could find? And what about that book you used? Are you sure you wiped all your prints off? Answer me. You did, didn’t you?”
“Yes, of course I did.”
She looked at him and smiled with satisfaction.
Christ, now he had admitted it. Wait a minute, could he back-track? How could he have done that? She could get the truth out of a politician. “Now wait a minute, just, uh, wait a minute here.”
It was truly established now that he had done it, Troy thought. Had the cop gotten her to wring out a confession from him? No way. He was positive about that, although he knew now she was as tricky as he was and maybe even more cunning.
Silence.
“Do you know when we’re going to find out about the will?” she asked.
“No.”
She was into herself now, thinking. “You know, you could strangle me now and get all the money. Have you thought of that?”
“Are you serious? Of course not.”
“When I checked in I put the wrong license number and phony names when I filled out the form. They only saw me in the office. And I noticed no one passed by the window to check out your car and license plate.”
He was astonished again. “You mean while we were making love?”
“When else? That didn’t mean I wasn’t having the time of my life. I’m a multi-tasker, Troy-boy.”
He shook his head. “You’re really something. My hat’s off to you.”
Sexy smile: “You had more off than your hat a short while ago.”
“You got me there. Should we drive back?”
“No. Let’s drive over to a seafood restaurant on the ocean and have another good meal. Great sex gets my taste buds flowing.”
He swung off the bed and began to get dressed. “Wonderful idea. Maybe by the time we get back we’ll be revved up for another gitgo.”
“Hmmm. Sounds yummy.”
The following morning, Columbo received a message from Marcella that she wanted to see him at her uncle’s house.
He drove over from the station not sure what to expect. Had she come up with an enemy or enemies of the deceased? His own investigation hadn’t come up with anything so far, but they had just started.
She answered his ring herself. She looked much more composed than before, wearing a jaunty blouse and full skirt. Quite a goodlooking young lady.
She took him into the
living room and pointed him to a chair. “Beautiful day,” she said.
“Beautiful. Just why did you want to see me?”
“My cousin just confessed to me.”
His bland expression stayed in place. “To the murder of your uncle?”
“What else?”
“He confessed”—snapping his fingers—“just like that? Or did you have to pry it out of him?”
“We made love, lieutenant. So afterwards he was in a vulnerable condition. Besides, the fool trusted me.”
Columbo thought this over. “You made love. Were you in the habit of doing that with him?”
“No. First time. He was adequate but I let him think he was the king of seducers. You men are so easy to manipulate. He was so turned on he wanted to do it again. Right away.”
Columbo kept his eyes on her—not very hard to do. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I loved my uncle and I want his murderer brought to justice. Even if it’s my own cousin. That’s not too hard to understand, is it?”
Columbo’s scrutiny grew deeper. “No, not at all, particularly with all that money at stake. I can see why you might want your cousin out of the way.”
“You mean the inheritance? You mean I want it all instead of just half?”
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I was implying.”
“Did anyone ever tell you have very penetrating eyes, lieutenant?”
“I think my wife did, once. But why don’t you answer my question.”
“What was the question again?”
“Are you turning him in for the money? So you can get it all instead of just half?”
“To be honest, that could be part of it. In fact, it could be a large part of it. And I don’t want him to get away with killing my uncle. That is a definite no-no in my book.”
“Book,” he mused. “And your uncle was murdered with a book.”
“Why are you complicating things?” she asked. “I’m handing him to you on a silver platter and you’re bringing up a book. I guess Troy was right about you.”
“About what?”
“That you’re no great shakes at what you do. You think that’s true?”
Columbo shrugged. “Different people have different opinions about me. All in the game.”
“And you really don’t care what people say about you?”
