by Sienna Parks
ADDI
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shitty… Shitter! I can’t believe I let myself fall asleep.
I wake in the arms of the most amazing lover I’ve ever had. I mean he is like crazy skilled when it comes to my body. I had zero control over my own pleasure. I don’t like the feeling of having no control, and that’s just one of the many reasons I need to get the hell out of dodge before he wakes up. I’m not really an advocate of leaving like a coward, but I can’t face this guy again.
As I extricate myself from his strong, tight, gorgeously tanned limbs, I can’t help but torture myself with the musky man smell, mixed with last night’s cologne and our sex. I take a deep, lingering breath, watching his striking features in peaceful slumber. He is a vision of male beauty, with a gorgeous tattoo on his shoulder that I would love to explore if I could bring myself to stay. With one last look, I creep from his bedroom, like a thief in the night, finding my way back to the lounge… and my clothes. I dress as quickly and as quietly as possible, holding my shoes rather than putting them on in case I wake Carter.
I feel bad about ducking out on him like this. He was so amazingly sweet, and rough at the same time. I already feel things that are not cool. As I make my way to the door, I spy a notepad on the kitchen island, and something in me just can’t leave without some sort of goodbye. I pick up the pen lying next to it and scribble a message.
Had a great time, Sailor, thanks for the thrills.
You certainly know how to create waves.
Addi
I need to sound detached, but I don’t want him to think I didn’t enjoy myself. What I can’t say is - YOU ROCKED MY FREAKING WORLD. I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that Carter was the best sex I will ever have. Shit… I need to get out of here before I go back to his room, crawl back into his arms and lose myself to the ecstasy he can bring.
****
As I walk down the street toward my apartment, I am simultaneously elated and deflated by my predicament. My insides are churning at the realization that I won’t see him again, or feel the immense connection I felt to him; but at the same time, I know I have a goofy grin on my face and a carefree swagger to my walk at the mere thought of our night together. I don’t even notice I’m at my building until I see Lily and Xander on the sidewalk, close to a flashy as hell sports car, which I’m assuming is his. Why am I not surprised that billionaire boy is flaunting the wealth?
“Addi Warner. Doing the walk of shame.” Lily gives me a disapproving but loving look as I flash her a massive grin.
“Who said I’m ashamed? I had a fabulous night. Tell Carter I said Hi when you see him.” I don’t even know why I said that.
With a cocky grin Xander responds. “I will pass along your regards, Addi.” He sobers, leans away from Lily, and quietly thanks me for helping him out with some preparation for their date today. I give him a playful warning, but he knows that if he hurts her, I will hunt him down and break his stupid chiseled face.
I grab Lily into a tight hug and give her some much-needed advice. “Please try to enjoy yourself today, let go, don’t think, just feel, enjoy and go with the flow. Okay?” She nods her agreement and my job is done. I leave them to go on their date and head up to the apartment.
When I close the door behind me, a gray cloud descends upon me; acutely aware that Carter will probably have woken up by now and realized that I left without a word. To add insult to injury, I left a goddamn note talking about waves. Sometimes I really do hate myself for the dumb things I do.
I try to shake off my funk but it doesn’t really happen - the day spent slumming around the apartment, unable to force myself to shower his smell from my body. I’m so freaking pathetic, it’s almost funny. I am a walking cliché of womanhood, kicking about in my PJs thinking about a guy. The only difference is that I chose to walk away instead of waiting around for him to show me the door.
The guys I usually go for are a sure thing, and I know that they will count their lucky stars to spend the night with me, but there was something about him; something about the way he took command of my body, as if it was his to do with as he pleased. It was an incredible turn on, but simultaneously scared the shit out of me. The last time I lost control was with Gavin, and look where that got me, fucked up beyond all recognition. I hide it well… I think, but I will never let any man do that to me again.
Everyone thinks Gavin’s ultimate betrayal was cheating on me with any college girl that so much as smiled at him… but that doesn’t even scratch the surface of what Gavin Jenkins did to me four years ago. I live with it every day; it’s always there, and it always will be. I don’t let myself wallow in it because that’s not who I am, but today, with the smell of Carter in the air, I let myself take a beat to consider how different my life could have been…
****
I’m so happy to have Lily home, and to be able to distract myself from thoughts of the past. She had some sort of fight with Xander, but isn’t exactly forthcoming with the details. Instead, I tell her all the gory details of my wild sex with Carter, which she says is TMI, but I like her to know what’s out there to be enjoyed. She’s almost finished college and she’s still a virgin. I want more than anything for her first time to be a great experience, not like mine. I figure the more she knows and the more we talk about it, the more at ease she’ll be when she finally takes that step.
After a few bottles of wine and some trash TV, I head to bed, a sense of dread washing over me. I spend the night staring at the ceiling - wondering what, or who Carter’s doing right now. The thought of him with someone else makes me nauseous. What the hell? I hate this. I’m exhausted and horny as hell, thinking obsessively about a one-night stand. I seriously need to get my shit together.
I finally give in to my racing, traitorous mind, and slide my hand under the sheets; my fingers dipping down into my wet folds. I’m soaked just at the thought of Carter de Rossi and his toned, masculine body - slick as I push two fingers into my pussy, coating them, ready to give myself the release I so desperately crave. As I pull them from my tight entrance, they glide up and gently caress my clit, already swollen and sensitive. I lose myself to the sensation, remembering the feel of his skilled hands on my flesh; long, strong fingers, teasing me, flicking, fucking me; large, warm palms pressing firmly against me, letting me writhe and beg for more.
I can almost smell his intoxicating scent surrounding me, pushing, driving me toward an incredible climax. My back arches off the bed as I give in to the explosion of sensation unleashed on my body. I stifle the groans, careful not to wake Lily across the hall. My breath is ragged, my heart pounding as I let myself relax and enjoy the warm satisfaction that spreads through me.
I have never given myself an orgasm that intense before. Sure, I fantasize about hot guys, celebs, even the odd girl, and I can click the mouse with the best of them, but getting myself off to the memory of Carter’s touch is a whole new level of erotic.
As soon as the buzz wears off and sanity returns, I start kicking myself. I hate that this guy has such a huge effect on me after a stupid, amazing, one-night stand. I do not let guys affect me like this. I need to get my head in the game and get my exams knocked out this week, and then get this guy out my system by getting under some other willing schmuck. I know that makes me sound like a slut, but hey, I take what I want on my terms, no strings attached. If I was a guy, I would be a freaking hero!
I’m neither a good girl nor a whore, but I tried the one-guy-relationship thing and it completely messed me up, so I occasionally blow off some steam with a stranger. I don’t do it all the time, but after Carter, I think I need to get laid sooner rather than later.
My sleep is fitful at best, my dreams clouded by toned Italian skin brushing against mine; murmured words of desire that caress my senses, and an all-consuming passion; pounding, thrusting, taking and giving; spiraling into heavenly oblivion.
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Acknowledgements
Sneak Peek
