by Holly Jacobs
She was going to have to give up her MINI Cooper and buy a more sensible car and she hated the thought, but she was pretty sure Arthur was going to hate giving up his condo more.
She rang the doorbell and part of her wanted to bolt before he came to the door, but she held her ground.
Arthur opened the door. “Hi, honey.” He kissed her cheek lightly.
He’d given her a key two years into the relationship. She’d felt it necessary to reciprocate. Neither of them used the keys often, though. They were still on doorbell-ringing status.
“Come in.” He took one of the bags. “How’s the pilot program going?”
He led her into the living room and set the bag on the table. They’d shared many meals here, sitting on the floor, in front of a fire during the colder months. He already had the wine open, two glasses waiting.
She sat down across from him, the familiar scene feeling comfortable. “Eli?”
She realized he’d asked about CATA.
“It’s going well. Zac’s agreed to my suggestion for our first student.”
Arthur nodded absently. He didn’t ask anything else about the program.
“So how was your week?” she asked, stalling, needing to catch her breath and find a way to gently break the news to him.
Arthur poured their wine, and Eli took up the glass and raised it to her lips, before it occurred to her that she couldn’t drink it. She set the glass down and tried to gather her wits as she listened to Arthur go on about the students in his class as he dished up his dinner.
He didn’t seem to notice she didn’t follow suit.
“Arthur—” She got as far as his name and couldn’t think of a way to finish the sentence.
I’m knocked up.
Knock, knock, guess who’s knocked up?
What are your plans six or seven months from now?
You know the tour of Europe we’ve been talking about? What about a tour of local hospital maternity wards instead?
Arthur, I love you and we’re going to have a baby.
Hey, Arthur, I’m pregnant. And do you know what irony is? I teach girls who experience unplanned pregnancies, and here I am. I wonder if I can write it off as educational expenses?
“Elinore, are you listening to me?”
She gritted her teeth at the use of her given name. Elinore was a name for someone older, more mature than she was. She was going to have a baby, for goodness sakes, she couldn’t be an Elinore yet.
She’d always hated it when he called her that, but today it grated more than it usually did.
“Eli,” she snapped.
His fork full of General Tso’s chicken froze midway between the plate and his mouth. “What is wrong?”
“I could give you a list, a long, long list of things, but topping it would be the fact I’m pregnant.”
Arthur dropped the fork, and the bright red sauce splashed onto his shirt, but he didn’t make a move to clean it off. He didn’t say a word, but the wave of paleness that moved from the top of his head downward said it all.
Great. Just great. That was slick. What a gentle breaking of unexpected news.
Eli didn’t say anything for a few minutes, letting him adjust to the shock.
When a bit of color seemed to seep back into his face, she said, “I know we didn’t plan this. It’s unexpected. When the doctor told me I didn’t believe him. I thought I was entering menopause. I went to the pharmacy and bought one of each brand of pregnancy test there was and the results were all the same. I’m pregnant.”
She waited for him to smile at her reaction.
Still nothing.
“I go for a second visit on Monday to have a sonogram, but the doctor thinks I’m either entering, or barely into my second trimester.”
“Is it mine?”
Of all the responses she’d imagined, this hadn’t even made the list of possibilities. “Is it yours?”
He nodded.
“Of course it’s yours. I didn’t cheat on you.”
“I wish you would have.” Arthur gave his head a small shake. “I can’t have a baby. We can’t have a…We talked about this up front. I’m almost ready to retire, and you have a busy and satisfying career. We have plans. I want to write my book, we’re going to travel. We can’t have this…”
“Baby, Arthur. It’s a baby. Our baby. I know we didn’t plan it, but it’s here, a reality we’re going to have to cope with. It means adjusting some of our plans, but we can make it work.”
He frowned. “Don’t you see? I don’t want to make it work. And there’s nothing to say we have to. That you have to go through with the pregnancy.”
Her hand immediately moved to her stomach, as if to protect their baby from the harshness of his suggestion. “Arthur, that’s not an option.”
“It is. I’d go with you, support you through the whole thing.”
“I know it’s a surprise, and I wouldn’t condemn someone for making that kind of decision, but it’s not for me. I couldn’t terminate this pregnancy.”
“And I can’t be a father.”
“Oh.” Eli didn’t know what to say to that. She’d expected him to be as taken aback at the news as she was, but she’d also expected him to hug her, to say he’d be there for her, that everything would be all right.
She hadn’t realized how much she’d been counting on that.
“Arthur, we’ll talk to someone and find a way to work this out.”
He shook his head and his shaggy brown hair tumbled over his eyes. Normally, she’d reach over and push it back into place, but tonight she simply gripped her hands on her lap. “What do you suggest then?”
“If you go through with this, I can’t be a part of it. I want nothing to do with the baby. Nothing.”
There was a finality in his tone that cut straight through her. It was almost a physical pain. But Eli wouldn’t give in to it. She sat up straighter. “Fine. You’ll have to see a lawyer, have him draw up papers terminating your parental rights because I won’t have you playing on-again, off-again father.”
“That’s not a worry because I have no wish to be anyone’s father. I’ll see my lawyer, have the papers drawn up. I’ll open a college fund for the baby, in lieu of paying child support, if that works for you.”
She wanted to tell him to keep his money, that they wouldn’t need it, but a practical side of her knew that someday the baby would need substantial financial help with college.
“Fine.” Somehow she found the strength to stand. “Goodbye, Arthur.”
He stood as well, and moved next to her. “I didn’t want things to end like this.”
“I didn’t, either.” She’d barely begun to adjust to the idea of a baby, but when she’d pictured what it would be like to be a mother, she’d imagined Arthur by her side, learning to be a father. It was another future she’d have to let go of.
“Keep in touch.” He moved toward her, as if to hug her.
Eli took a quick step backward. She didn’t want to touch Arthur Stone. Didn’t want the pity she saw in his eyes. She shook her head. “I don’t think so. If we’re going to make a break, let’s make it clean. Call me when you’ve got the papers, and that will be the last you’ll hear from me.”
“Elinore—”
“Eli.” And with all the dignity she could muster, she held her head high and walked out of Arthur’s condo.
She got into her MINI and sat a moment, her hand pressed to her stomach. “Looks like it’s just you and me, kid,” she whispered.
Despite what she’d said to Arthur, she wasn’t sure she could handle this. Wasn’t sure at all. Unlike Arthur, though, she didn’t have a choice. She couldn’t walk away.
She snapped her seat belt into place, put her key in the ignition, then the car in Drive and left.
Left Arthur, and left the life she’d thought she’d have.
For the first time in years, Eli Cartwright was driving without a map. It was disconcerting. It was terrifying.
&n
bsp; Underneath all that, there was also just the tiniest bit of exhilaration. There was suddenly a potential that hadn’t been there before.
Rather than driving home, Eli headed toward Tucker’s, knowing her friend would be a hundred percent on her side.
But half an hour later, when Eli finished telling Tucker about her meeting with Arthur, her friend’s reaction was far more vehement than Eli had imagined.
Tucker paced back and forth in her living room. “Penis. Goat-boffing, self-important eunuch of a man.”
“Tucker, sit down next to me.” Eli patted the empty couch cushion. “I feel I have to point out Arthur couldn’t boff goats if he was a eunuch.”
Tucker didn’t stop pacing. Instead, she kicked the ottoman. “He could try. I hope—”
“Stop right there,” Eli warned. “You’re not going to tempt the fates by wishing any plagues—”
“I was going for some penis-eating venereal disease, but a plague would work.”
Eli laughed. Tucker’s reaction was almost a balm to her wounded pride. “How could I have wasted five years of my life on someone who could desert a child?”
Tucker finally sat, but remained resolutely silent.
“You tried to tell me, and I appreciate your not saying ‘I told you so,’ but I’ll say it for you—you told me so.”
“I never in a million years would have expected him to just walk away from this. Oh, I thought he was a boring, pontificating prig—”
“Prig?”
“I’ve been reading historical romances again, and it’s a good descriptive word. And though I thought it would describe Arthur, I still would never have guessed he’d abandon you. To be honest, I can’t imagine him not having opinions—many, many opinions—on how a child of his should be raised.”
“Actually, he doesn’t want it to be raised. He wanted me to go for an abortion.”
“Rat bastard.”
Bart stuck his head in the doorway. “Mom, phone. It’s a guy, some Tyler Martinez.” He spotted Eli and waved. “Hey, Aunt Eli.” He ducked back out again.
“Speaking of rat bastards,” Tucker murmured more to herself than to Eli. She got up and took the phone.
“Yes?”
She listened and was soon scowling. “Are you crazy? No.” And without saying anything further, she hung up.
“Problems with a customer?” Eli asked.
Tucker shook her head and plopped back onto the couch. “Nothing you need to worry about. The way I see it, you’ve got more than enough on your plate.”
“Maybe whatever’s going on with you would distract me? And I so need to be distracted.”
“Nothing’s going on, really. Just a man asking for a date.”
Tucker hadn’t dated often over the years. Not that she wasn’t asked out, but more often than not, she declined. Eli worried about her. Tucker was still young. She should go out and have a good time on occasion. “Is this guy a troll?”
“No. He’s gorgeous, actually, in a sleek, magazine-ad way.” Tucker’s scowl made the idea of a gorgeous man seem less appealing than dental surgery.
“So he’s boorish?”
“Not exactly. Despite his prissy way, he gets along great with Dad and the other guys in the garage.”
“A prig like Arthur then?” She smiled as she used the word.
Tucker shook her head.
“Married? Twelve kids?”
Another no.
“Okay, so a gorgeous, interesting, unattached man who gets along with your father called to ask you out and you say no why?”
“I say no every time he asks.”
“He’s asked more than once?” This was the first Eli had heard about this Tyler Martinez, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there were other men who’d asked Tucker out that she hadn’t mentioned.
“He’s asked me out a few times,” Tucker admitted.
“What am I missing?”
“Some brain cells if you can’t figure it out. I mean, I’m pretty sure his suits are designer—not that I know designer clothes. I mean, there’s Jacqueline Smith stuff at Kmart, but otherwise?” She shrugged. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s what his stuff is, and he’s certainly got money to burn.”
Eli shook her head, genuinely confused. “Still not getting it.”
“Look at me, do I look like the type of woman a man like that would be interested in?”
Eli did look. Tucker was wearing a holey pair of jeans, some steel-toed work boots and a T-shirt that proudly proclaimed It’s NASCAR or Nothin’. The T-shirt was worn thin from too many washings, and hugged Tucker’s body in such a way that no man could miss that despite the work clothes, Tucker was all woman. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t be interested, Tuck. I mean, if I were a man, I’d try to date you.”
Her outrageous comment had the desired effect. Tucker laughed. “If you were a man I’d probably say yes. But he’s different. Too different.”
“Tucker, this Tyler, or any man, would be all kind of lucky to have a woman like you.”
Tucker pulled back, not physically, but emotionally. Eli could talk herself blue in the face, but Tucker would never believe that she was beautiful. It had nothing to do with designer clothes, and everything to do with the kind of woman Tucker was.
And part of what made Tucker Tucker was her complete and annoying stubbornness, which reared its head now. “Let’s change the subject back to you. What are you going to do now?”
“I made plans for dinner with my parents tomorrow night. I expect it’s going to go about as well, or even worse, than how it went telling Arthur.” She loved her parents, saw them at least once a week when they were in town, and talked to them frequently when they wintered in Florida each year. The fact that she would be an unwed mother was not going to impress them. She was forty-four, but obviously the desire to please a parent didn’t go away with age. It might even have gotten stronger.
“I think you’re wrong. They might not be happy, but they’ll stand by you. I have no doubt of that.”
“You’re right. It still won’t be pretty.”
“Maybe you’re wrong.”
“Yeah, maybe. And maybe the earth is going to start rotating backward, and all the bad guys will suddenly become good guys forever and ever.”
She snorted. “And maybe prigs will fly.”
Maybe.
But Eli wasn’t betting on any of it.
CHAPTER THREE
“Time. It can feel as if you don’t have nearly enough time to get everything done. Remember, despite all you need to do, take time to have some fun.”
—Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting for Teens, by Mary Jeanne Lorei
ELI NORMALLY LOVED SATURDAYS. She loved knowing she didn’t have to get up and do anything. She loved the idea of leisurely walks, and reading the paper—front to back—over a second cup of coffee. Then possibly doing the crossword puzzle in ink over a third cup.
Today, there was no sense of happiness at the thought as she glanced at the clock. 8:00 a.m.
She didn’t have time for the paper before her meeting with Zac, and even if she did, there’d be no coffee. No caffeine for her for the rest of the pregnancy. And probably not while she was breast-feeding, either. If she breast-fed. Would she breast-feed?
Another decision.
One she simply couldn’t face.
She had to get together with Zac Keller and Ariel Mayor, then she had to hurry home and clean the house before her parents’ visit.
Not that her house was a mess. And she didn’t generally clean before her parents came over. But since she was about to break the fact she was pregnant with no father in the picture, she figured the least she could do was tell them in a spotless house.
After all, that wasn’t too much to ask, was it?
And why on earth did she let Zac talk her into meeting at Tim Horton’s? To smell that wonderful coffee and not be able to have a cup was going to be sheer torture. Okay, she could probably order a decaf, but seriousl
y, if she couldn’t drink the real thing, why bother?
She hurried out to the car, pulling her winter coat tighter.
Winter hadn’t even officially arrived—heck, autumn was only halfway gone—but she was ready for spring.
The thought stopped her in her tracks. By late spring, she’d have her baby. Right at the end of the school year. She’d be a mother. Her whole life would change.
Sometimes, she’d forget she was pregnant. Then, she’d have one of those moments of awareness.
She was pregnant.
She was going to be a mother.
She kept repeating the words as she drove to the coffee shop.
There was no denying it. The life she’d planned was gone thanks to this baby. A small spurt of anger surprised her. She didn’t blame the baby, but she was mad at the circumstances. Arthur could throw up his hands and walk away. She was stuck. Her body wasn’t ever going to be the same. Her life was never going to be the same. It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t count the number of times girls said those words to her. Her response? Life’s not fair. Deal with it.
She realized she’d been parked in front of the coffee shop for…she wasn’t sure how long.
Yeah, life’s not fair. Deal with it.
Right now she had to deal with Zac Keller.
She hurried inside and scanned the place. She spotted Zac in line and approached him.
A slow smile spread on his face. “You made it.”
“We’d agreed, so of course I made it.”
“What would you like?” He nodded at the menu.
“A house decaf.” She wanted her caffeine. Wanted it desperately. Already, the baby was impacting her life. Her decisions.
“After all our meetings, you switching to decaf just seems wrong.”
He was teasing, and Eli knew it, so she smiled. “I’m turning over a new leaf. Actually, a few new leaves.” Whether she wanted to or not.
“How does Arthur feel about these changes?”
“Arthur’s out of the picture.” It was the first time she’d said the words out loud in conversation. It made the fact he was gone seem more real. More permanent.
