Instead, Maddox touched him so lightly he was sure he imagined it. A featherlight touch around each nipple. Jake whined, and Maddox laughed gruffly before pushing his big hands against Jake’s flesh the way he desired. He moaned at the touches, so powerful his back rocked against the sand. Maddox massaged him, and his muscles soon turned to putty. His body felt so soft he was sure he rested in quicksand, quicksand that had swallowed him and stopped him from moving an inch. There was such ownership in the caresses, a deep caress that went further than his muscles, Jake’s bones turned to jelly, and a peacefulness expanded in his chest.
“Feel good?”
A smile twitched Jake’s lips, and he attempted to nod against the sand.
“After this…can I do the same to you?”
He knew the answer would be no, expected another tug on his nipple, but instead, Maddox hummed in thought, and stopped moving his hands. “Would you like that?”
“Yes,” Jake blurted, jolting upright before wincing at the warm dose of head rush. He recovered after a few seconds and turned to Maddox.
“Please, let me.”
Maddox pursed his lips, then handed the bottle of sun cream to Jake.
“This isn’t about sex,” he said sternly.
“Yeah, the sun, UV rays, aliens, whatever.”
Maddox breathed heavily through his nose, then lay on the sand. “Behave Jake.”
Jake licked his lips, then swung his leg over to straddle Maddox’s waist. He braced his hand against Maddox’s impressive chest and felt the calm beat of his heart.
Maddox rarely let Jake’s hands wander his body. He was a man of control, who never gave it over to Jake. Intimacies were at Maddox’s direction, and would stop at his say so. The savourer, or the devourer, Jake didn’t know how to describe this moment. Maddox had surrendered his body to Jake’s touch, and he physically shook with desire to press his hands to Maddox’s flesh. He wanted to feel every line, valley, and faint scar on his giant chest.
He gasped softly at Maddox’s torso, hard and stiff under his hands. Then he trailed his fingers along the dark tattoo, all the way to Maddox’s hand laying in the sand.
“You forgot the sun cream.” Maddox mumbled.
Jake jumped, released a small laugh then filled his palm with cream to spread on Maddox’s skin. The flesh was tight over the muscles, smooth to the touch, and greedily absorbed the lotion. Jake shuffled down and ran his hands on the firm stomach before lightly scratching his nails up to Maddox’s armpits, hoping to find some sensitive area, a place that destroyed Maddox’s iron control and made him thrash on the sand.
The only reaction was a toothy smile that spread slowly over Maddox’s face. He knew exactly what Jake was doing, and the cocky grin on his face said it was impossible.
Jake huffed, and wriggled further down. He coated his hands then rubbed them round Maddox’s impressive thighs. Bigger than his own, almost the width of his waist; the hair on them was darker too. Maddox didn’t even twitch as Jake scored his nails up his inner thighs. A pleased sigh breezed from Maddox’s lips, followed by a gruff laugh. Jake narrowed his eyes and pouted at the unresponsive body he wanted to torment.
Maddox’s cock lay limp, but the bulge was outlined in his tight shorts. Jake’s lacked the same control, as if possessed, his cock bobbed and twitched, and a blotch of damp expanded. Jake hooked the top of Maddox’s boxers, licking his lips.
“Jake,” Maddox said in warning.
Jake ignored him and lunged down, only for Maddox to press his palm to Jake’s head and prevent his mouth getting any closer.
“Not about sex,” Maddox reminded.
“But I wanna—”
“That’s for me to decide, not you. Right now this is about the sun and burning. You’re stopping me from burning, think about that.”
Jake shuddered at the implications then nodded. His cock wasn’t as easy to distract, and he made a conscious effort to ignore the tingle each time he moved, and it rubbed in his boxer shorts.
Maddox’s feet weren’t ticklish, neither were his neck or hips, but Jake struck gold when he clawed behind Maddox’s knee. He twitched, the first involuntary one Jake had seen, and for some reason the reaction felt like a triumph.
“Ha!”
Maddox sat upright fast, and wrapped his arms around Jake’s back, caging him with his powerful body. He kissed Jake’s collar bone, and Jake immediately bared his throat for more kisses. Maddox’s teeth grazed his chin. His hand brushed up the back of Jake’s neck, and tugged him down for a chaste kiss on the lips.
“Still saying no to sex?” Jake mumbled through a smile.
“Not on the beach, too much sand. Don’t want sand in uncomfortable places.”
Jake huffed, and moved forward for another kiss, only to be disappointed when Maddox turned away. He patted his hand on the sand beside him, and Jake slipped off his lap with a huff of disappointment.
They lay side by side, and after a few minutes of basking silently in the sun, Jake’s erection softened. When Maddox said no sex, he meant it, and Jake’s body knew it too.
He sighed at the heat pleasantly tingling his skin. He hadn’t been able to keep still for days, but with Maddox next to him, he didn’t want to be anywhere else. The lounging he'd rolled his eyes at was suddenly pleasurable, and he realised why so many people wanted honeymoons on deserted beaches.
“You said you’d try to save me from the storm, and the fire?”
Maddox hummed in agreement. “Yes, I did, and if I couldn’t then I’d join you.”
Jake rolled onto his side and propped his head up with his hand. “What about a shark?”
“A shark?”
“Yeah, if one bit me?”
“I’d drag you back to the beach, bandage you up. Call a helicopter, I don’t know. Try not to annoy a shark for me; it would be really inconvenient.”
Jake clacked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “You wouldn’t try to wrestle it off me?”
Maddox sighed wearily, and Jake smiled.
“What if a jellyfish stung me?”
Maddox huffed, then growled, “I’d piss on you.”
Jake grimaced, and smacked his lips together. “I think that’s a myth, ya know…”
“Oh, I know, but if I have to mark my territory to warn these sea creatures off, I’ll do it. They don’t have any claim over you, but I do.”
“Claim? You’ve got a claim over me?”
Maddox snorted lightly. “Yes, you gave yourself to me, remember?”
Jake wiggled his nose, then rolled onto his back. “That makes me sound desperate.”
“I like it when you're desperate.” Maddox mumbled.
“That’s because you're evil.”
Maddox laughed. “You love being desperate for me too.”
Jake’s face flamed, and he turned the other way, staring at the endless beige. He skimmed the back of his hand along the heated surface, then sieved the hot sand through his fingers.
“This is the first holiday I’ve been on,” he whispered, closing his eyes.
He heard the sand shift when Maddox turned to him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, first holiday. First time I’ve been on a beach.”
Maddox sat up, and his shadow loomed over Jake, but he didn’t open his eyes.
“How can this be the first time you’ve been to a beach?”
Jake shrugged. “Not like my foster parents would ever take me, is it? When I was eighteen I got a train from London to Newquay, but never set foot on the sand.”
“Why not?”
“All I saw was families making sandcastles. Couples sharing ice cream, and friends surfing in the sea. I didn’t fit into that. I’m not meant for that.”
Maddox didn’t reply, and the shadow over Jake’s eyelids disappeared.
“I guess with your own private villa you come out here a lot?”
Jake waited, but Maddox didn’t reply. He expected as much but turned to Maddox just in case his expre
ssion or body was answering his question. He blinked at the empty space beside him, before flipping onto his stomach and staring back at the beach. Maddox was walking towards the villa.
Jake watched until he was gone before rolling on his back again and rubbing aggressively at his face. Maddox was forever destined to keep him at arm’s length, letting himself be available for Jake, but not completely. Jake opened up, and Maddox retreated, that was all their relationship was destined to be.
Jake didn’t want to scamper back to the villa after Maddox, so instead he lay under the scorching sun until his flesh began to prickle. He snatched up the sun cream, slapped it aggressively into his reddening skin, then dropped back down to the sand with a huff.
He startled awake at a clanging sound and flipped to his front, dazed and confused. Maddox stood, with a pile of pots and pans at his feet, and a lit cigarette between his lips.
“I don’t have any surf boards, or ice cream, but you can still make sandcastles out of these.”
Jake narrowed his eyes at the mocking, and quickly sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Don’t take the piss out of me.”
Maddox cocked his jaw, then picked a pan, waving it in front of himself. “Suit yourself.”
He moved down the beach towards the sea, then dropped to his knees in the damp sand. Jake watched as Maddox made a sandcastle, not as regal as the plastic kids ones, but compact and sturdy.
Jake turned back to the pile of pans. His feet twitched, his hands flexed, and he finally gave into his energized body.
It was stupid, and childish, but it made his heart pound. He walked over to Maddox, but he shook his head and pointed at another patch of sand.
“This is mine, make your own.”
Jake narrowed his eyes and moved where Maddox pointed. He dropped to his knees and clawed the sand and scooped it into the pan. His first attempted cracked, and crumbled, and he stared over to Maddox who patted the sand tight before flipping it over.
Jake copied, and one castle stood without the sand splitting. He made another and turned at the sound of clanging metal. Maddox was choosing a different make-shift bucket, and Jake rushed up the beach to do the same. All Maddox left was a frying pan, and Jake scoffed, slashing it through the air like a sword.
“What am I meant to do with this one?”
Maddox shrugged. “Not my fault you were too slow.”
Jake bunched up his face. “I’m not slow.”
Maddox finished his cigarette and threw it to the sand. Then he lifted his head and strolled towards the trees again. He didn’t vanish up the path but found a leaf and returned to his pile of claimed pans.
Jake cocked his head as Maddox snapped the leaf and used the harder stalk as a cutting tool to make a battlement on the top walls of his castle.
Jake rolled his eyes. He should’ve guessed Maddox would be some expert on making castles. His had a moat, and towers at each corner. Jake was waiting for the drawbridge and the portcullis, and maybe a few working cannons made from cigarettes.
Maddox glanced to Jake and smiled. “Don’t even think about coming over here and jumping on it.”
Jake matched Maddox’s smile. He hadn’t thought about it yet, but it’s where his mind would have gone next. Maddox was one step ahead of him.
Jake couldn’t steal the castle for a fix, but he could step on it and hope Maddox chased him up the beach. Jake could outrun him, he was certain of it.
He got to his feet and edged forward. Maddox went completely still, and the glasses hid where he looked. Jake moved a little closer, pointing at one of Maddox’s discarded pans.
“Can I have that one?”
Maddox nodded stiffly, and Jake came closer, reached as if grabbing the pan, and went to jump, but Maddox launched off the sand, slammed Jake around the chest, and heaved him over his shoulder.
“What did I say?”
He shook Jake, and Jake yelped, trying to regain his breath. “It was you that put the idea in my head.”
“Because I knew you’d be stupid enough to try it.”
Maddox marched him up the beach and dumped him in the sand. Jake panted, and rubbed his palm across his chest. Maddox moved behind him, huge thigh either side of Jake’s legs, and arms wrapping Jake’s middle. He rested his chin on Jake’s shoulder, and sighed slowly through his nose.
“There, you’ve made your first sandcastle. I still have to tick eating ice cream on a beach and learning to surf in the sea off your list, but we’ll do that another time.”
Jake smiled at his castle, then turned to Maddox’s and rolled his eyes. Always the controlled perfectionist, even when making castles out of a wok and saucepan.
“Now we get to see which is stronger. Maddox’s Mansion or….” Maddox said, nudging Jake with his nose.
Jake stared at his smaller set of castles, crumbled. Only one tower remained, and that was the one he balanced on the frying pan sandcastle. It looked almost like it sat on an island. Alone with no windows or doors.
“Jake’s jail,” he said with no thought.
Maddox stiffened around him, and Jake wanted to shove the words back down his throat. He dropped his head, poised his lips to apologise, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“I never wanted to make you feel locked up. I made a mistake sending you here. I thought you’d be safer, but it made you crave danger more. Made you take careless risks.”
Jake chose his words carefully, hunching over in fear of what Maddox would say back.
“I don’t want to be sent away when something bad happens. I want to know what’s going on. I want to be there with you.”
Maddox shook his head. “You can’t get involved.”
“Why not?”
“I won’t be able to concentrate if I think you might be in danger. If something like this happens again, I won’t send you away, but you must do as I say. And if that means laying low a while, and not seeing me for a few weeks, you have to do it.”
Jake grimaced and flexed his toes in the sand. He didn’t want to be ignored for weeks at a time, forgotten about, but it was better than being sent to some desert island with Tom for company.
“What if you just…stop caring about me or you want someone else?”
Maddox’s arm’s tightened around Jake’s stomach. “That won’t happen.”
Jake chomped the inside of his cheek, then released the pinch of flesh with a sigh. “Promise me if it does, you’ll tell me to my face. You’ll end whatever this is, not keep me hanging, trailing behind you hoping for scraps like some mangy mutt.”
“I’m not going to end it,” Maddox said simply. “You’d have to betray me to get me to end it, and I’d tell you to your face before taking you out for good.”
Jake shivered, and bowed his head. “You’d kill me…”
Maddox exhaled through his nose, then slid his prickly chin along Jake’s shoulder to his neck. “Not planning on betraying me, are you?”
Jake turned towards him, pressing the side of his face to Maddox’s nose. “Never.”
“Then neither of us have anything to worry about. Now, I better go get those pans before they float away.”
He unpeeled his legs from Jake’s and strolled back down the beach to collect the pans before the sea could claim them.
Predictably, Maddox’s castle was the stronger of the two, still standing with its towers, and its fancy decorations. Most of Jake’s rough around the edges castle, had succumbed to the gentle tide, all apart from the one that sat on the island.
Maddox dumped the pans unceremoniously onto the sand with a crash, then lay down next to Jake.
“We’ll have to go back soon.” Maddox mumbled.
Jake settled down beside him, hating the few centimetres between them, but lacking the bravery to get closer in case Maddox shuffled away.
He angled his head so he could see their arms side by side, closer than their bodies; only a few millimetres kept them apart. Jake swallowed awkwardly and twitched the ends of his fing
ers. Was it too much to hold hands, to slip his fingers between Maddox’s?
Sweat gathered at Jake’s armpits, and his heartbeat increased. He reached out his hand carefully, watching for any tiny movement from Maddox. This was uncharted territory and it seemed ridiculous after how intimately they shared their bodies. Hand holding – it was meant for awful romance films, not real life, but Jake wanted it, if only for a few seconds.
In the end, he snatched for Maddox’s hand with his heart in his throat, and his lungs inflated to the max. Maddox didn’t turn to him, or flinch at the sudden jolt to his arm. He slotted his fingers through Jake’s shaking ones, and immediately the nervous tremor stopped. Jake exhaled slowly and focused on the sensation of holding a hand to his.
Maddox didn’t squeeze Jake’s fingers into submission; they both held on with equal grip, no power play involved, and Jake was shocked by how good it felt to just have Maddox’s hand knotted to his.
He had never experienced the physical contact of holding someone’s hand. Didn’t ever have a mother to link fingers with as she led him across a road. He hadn't caressed a girlfriend’s hand as they strolled down the street. His hands weren’t made to lay dormant with another; he had trained them to be crafty, a tool to feed his addiction and thieve.
Jake hadn’t realised how empty the gaps between his fingers felt until Maddox slotted his through. It was a physical gesture of their connection. It may not have been done in front of Carl or Tom to prove Jake’s worth, but it was witnessed by the sand and the sky.
Maddox brushed his thumb lightly against Jake’s and it was the final touch that took Jake to the edge of emotion. It wasn’t sexual, nor had sex happened immediately prior. Maddox was caressing him for the sake of it, because he wanted to. They weren’t Jake and Maddox, separate identities in that moment, but an ‘us’, and Jake had never experienced the sensation bursting in his chest before. A powerful warmth that accumulated in his eyes and made them sting.
He scrunched his face, trying to ride the emotional overload, but he couldn’t. Tears swelled in his eyes, and his lip twitched on its own.
Jake sat up, careful not to dislodge his fingers from Maddox’s. He turned his face away and covered his eyes with his free hand. He couldn’t believe he was crying. He hastily palmed at the mortifying trails of tears, before covering his eyes again. The only way to stop the quivering in his lip was by sinking his teeth down, pressing hard till the skin hurt.
Fire and Sand Page 8
