“De Alwis!”
He came out of his reverie to find Madam standing at the front of the auditorium, by the stage.
“De Alwis, pay attention, for goodness’ sake. Wanigasekera finished his monologue. Didn’t you hear Fernando calling your cue?”
“Um … sorry, Madam.”
Suraj said softly, “Daydreaming about your cousin?”
Amrith looked at him surprised, and Suraj laughed.
“Come on, boys,” Madam called, “let’s do it again.”
Suraj took his place and went through his monologue once more. Amrith made sure to pay attention this time and, when it came to his cue, he began the dialogue between them.
He was barely a few lines into the scene, however, when Madam stopped him.
“For goodness’ sake, De Alwis! Could you be any more unemotional? Your husband has just woken you to say he is going to murder you in your bed. From your nonchalance, one would think that he was offering you some trifling news.”
“Sorry, Madam.”
“Come-come, put some passion behind it — make it seem like you’re really frightened.”
Amrith’s heart was not in this rehearsal, yet he knew what was at stake here. When they did the scene again, he forced himself to give the performance required of him, but it felt like physical exertion when one is sick.
Madam soon stopped him. “My, De Alwis! From one extreme to the other, nah. Now you are completely over-the-top. Almost a caricature.”
She beckoned to him and he got off the bed and went to the edge of the stage. “De Alwis,” she said, frowning, “if you are not able to give this role your attention, I am sure there are others who would be delighted to do so.”
Peries, who was in the front row, sat up in his seat, looking expectantly at Madam. She ignored him. Once she had finished talking to Amrith and was going back down the aisle, Peries put up his hand.
“What is it, Peries?” Madam glanced at him, annoyed.
“I was wondering, Madam, if you want me to take De Alwis’ place.”
Amrith was outraged. Madam was not happy, either. “I am the director, Peries,” she said, in a chilly voice, “I will decide when, if at all, that will happen.”
Once rehearsals were over, Madam made Amrith stay behind. She waited until the other boys had left and then she turned to him with a gentle smile. “De Alwis, I really sense your heart isn’t in this role, so I want to offer you the chance to bow out. I won’t be angry at you. Sometimes a role is just not right for an actor, you know.”
“No, Madam.” Amrith looked at her pleadingly. “I … I promise I’ll work hard at it.”
“Is your Canadian cousin distracting you?”
Amrith looked away. “A little.”
“Well, this is a warning. I have been very patient but, as you know, I must put the interest of the school ahead of everything else. This is a final warning, De Alwis.”
He hung his head and nodded.
When Amrith came down to the gate, the car was there, but Niresh was not in it.
As the car turned down their road, Amrith saw Niresh and Mala. They were walking ahead, talking animatedly. His cousin was carrying Mala’s bag. Niresh laughed at something she said and she punched him in the arm.
The car reached the gate at the same time they did. “Hey, buddy,” Niresh cried out, as he went to drag back the gate so the car could enter. Mala hurried ahead and went into the house.
Amrith greeted Niresh as civilly as he could, before excusing himself and going to his room.
That afternoon, they were all supposed to go to the club, but Amrith insisted that he wanted to go down to Kinross Beach for a swim with his cousin. Niresh agreed reluctantly.
When they came out of the bedroom, on their way to Kinross, Mala was pacing aimlessly under the jak tree.
“Hey,” Niresh said, crossing to her in delight. “Do you want to come with us?”
Mala tried to appear surprised at Niresh’s invitation, but Amrith could tell that she had been hoping they would ask her.
Once she had gone to change, Niresh turned to Amrith. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“No, of course not, why should I?” Amrith replied.
They had been in the water a short while when Mala walked back to the beach, spread her towel out, and sat down. Amrith was glad to see her go. Now he had his cousin all to himself.
After a moment, however, Niresh, without a word or glance at him, waded out to join her.
Amrith could have followed him and sat with them on the beach, but he stayed in the water, going under, trying to get a glimpse of the bottom. He searched for pretty shells. Occasionally he saw one but, before he could reach out to grab it, the sand shifted and it disappeared.
When he felt he had been in the water long enough to make a point he could not name, he walked casually up the beach to join them.
As he came towards them, Niresh was saying, “Yeah, it was hard. It was hard growing up without my mum. I really missed her all the time, at first.” He turned over a strand of dried sea-weed, a sad expression on his face that did not look completely genuine. His cousin was appealing to Mala’s ready sympathy, and she looked at him, her eyes luminous with pity.
Niresh had noticed Amrith approaching and a fleeting look of annoyance crossed his face. It pierced Amrith’s heart.
16
The Catholic Students’ Union Does a Shramadana
The next day, the Catholic Students’ Union met at an old folks’ home to do a shramadana. Selvi and her friends were going along as well, and it turned out that other boys and girls, who were not in the Union, had volunteered their time for a chance to be around one another. When Niresh heard about the shramadana, he wanted to go. Amrith was not keen, but he agreed to accompany him. Since he had discovered Niresh and Mala’s attraction to each other, he found it very difficult to assert his will and insist on time alone with his cousin.
The old folks’ home, donated by a wealthy philanthropist, was in a large bungalow with a back and front veranda and an extensive garden. The majority of the residents were Dutch Burghers. They were the last remnants of a racial group that was dying out rapidly in this country, their families having left for Australia, Canada, and England in the 1950s and 60s. Various Burgher associations in the West contributed generously to the upkeep of the home.
Neither the residents, who were for the most part senile, nor the staff seemed particularly happy at this deluge of giggling, chattering teenagers who descended on them to do good — teenagers who had never done a day’s housework in their lives. Two nuns and a priest had come along to maintain decorum. Whatever hope the sexes had of mingling together was given short shrift when the nuns took the girls inside to clean the house. The boys were left outside to attend to the grounds, under the supervision of the priest and a very cranky gardener.
Not long after they had been at work, Mala came onto the veranda. “I need two boys to come and move an almirah,” she said.
“I’ll help,” Suraj replied.
But Niresh cried, “Me and Amrith.”
He grabbed Amrith’s arm and hurried him towards the veranda. Suraj had arrived first, but there were two of them. Mala pretended to look harassed as she glanced from Suraj to Amrith and Niresh. Then, she said ungraciously, “I guess you both can come. I do need two boys.”
Niresh grinned at Suraj, who glowered back.
They followed Mala.
“Poor lover-boy,” Niresh whispered to Amrith, who smiled sourly.
Suraj was thumping his clenched fist against the palm of his hand.
When the boys had finished in the garden, they lined up at an outdoor pipe to clean off. The ground around the pipe was muddy and so there were two bricks embedded in the soil that they could stand on, as they bent over to use the tap. When Niresh was at the pipe, his feet on the bricks, Suraj came up from behind and gave him a shove. Niresh stepped into the mud and splattered himself. He turned on Suraj, his fists raised. Suraj had al
ready taken up his stance. They began to circle each other. Amrith felt a sickening lurch in his stomach.
The other boys had formed a ring around the combatants, their faces hot with excitement. They called encouragement to Suraj, referring to Niresh as kalusuddah, black-foreigner.
Suraj took a punch at Niresh. He ducked. When he tried to punch back, Suraj stepped aside and Niresh nearly lost his balance. The boys cheered.
They circled again.
“Niresh, come away,” Amrith cried, his voice thick in his throat.
Niresh did not even glance in his direction.
They moved around for a while, gauging each other. Then Niresh tried to take another punch at Suraj and missed. Suraj made a jab at Niresh’s stomach. His cousin blocked him. In that instant, his face was unguarded. Suraj swiftly changed direction and hit out, catching Niresh squarely on the nose. From the power of his blow, Niresh was flung backwards. He crashed into a bucket and collapsed into the mud.
Amrith cried out.
Suraj pounced on top of Niresh. He straddled his chest, grabbed him by the hair, and hit his head against the ground over and over again. Niresh gasped each time his head struck the dirt. Amrith pushed through the circle and stood, wringing his hands.
Suddenly the priest and the gardener were among them. They grabbed the boys and pulled them apart. The girls, attracted by the noise, had come out of the house. When they saw the state of the boys, some of them shrieked. Amrith helped Niresh to his feet. His nose was bleeding. Mala broke past the others and, with her handkerchief, tried to staunch the blood.
The priest grabbed Suraj by the ear and twisted it until he was bent over. “You are a bloody disgrace, you monkey. Just wait, I’m going to tell your mother.” He dragged a sullen Suraj away, who turned to give Mala a look of appeal. She glared at him.
For a moment, Niresh’s face shone with triumph, but then, when Mala turned back to him, he quickly changed his expression to pain and pressed her handkerchief to his nose. Leaning slightly on Mala, he allowed himself to be led away. He had actually developed a limp.
The shramadana came to an inglorious end.
When they got home that morning, the women fussed over Niresh, making sure he was comfortably seated in a Planter’s chair, plying him with cushions and ice compacts dipped in eau de cologne.
Before lunch, Mrs. Wanigasekera, whom they knew as Aunty Daphne, brought a much-chastened Suraj over to apologize. Aunty Bundle and Uncle Lucky graciously made light of the whole thing, said that boys would be boys, that no permanent damage had been done, that it was just a flash of tempers.
Suraj was made to apologize to Niresh, to shake his hand. His cousin accepted his apology with all the good grace of the victor. For, the moment Mala had seen Suraj enter the courtyard, she had stalked off into the house and did not come back until he was gone.
Throughout all this, Amrith stood by silently. He felt like a supernumerary, watching a drama unfold in which he had no speaking part.
Amrith decided he had put up with enough. The time had come to assert his will again.
That evening, Aunty Bundle took Niresh to see their family doctor. His cousin had cut his knee on a rusty garden implement during the fight and he needed a tetanus shot. The moment they left, Amrith went looking for Mala. He found her in the girls’ room, writing in her diary. He came in without knocking and she hurriedly slipped her diary under a pillow.
“I suppose you have completely forgotten your promise about not monopolizing my cousin,” Amrith began abruptly. “You promised —”
“I didn’t promise you anything,” Mala replied, with equal rancor. “Just leave me alone, Amrith. I have had a very trying day.”
“He is my cousin,” Amrith shouted at her. Without realizing it, he had begun to pace up and down. “Why don’t you leave him alone?”
“Akka is right. You are jealous. A jealous baby.”
“And you’re a … a slut.”
Mala drew in her breath, appalled.
“You are, you are,” Amrith cried. “You think I don’t know that you are interested in Niresh? It’s so obvious, the way you’re throwing yourself at him. I’m surprised Aunty Bundle and Uncle Lucky have not noticed. I wonder what they would think about their daughter breaking their rule.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You have. You’ve encouraged Niresh, led him on.”
“Don’t be so awful, Amrith. I have not done anything improper. And I have not monopolized your cousin. I only spend time with him when you are at rehearsals.”
“What about coming to Kinross yesterday?”
“I was in the courtyard and he asked me.”
“You could have said no.”
“Well, I wanted to come.”
“Yes, so you could throw yourself at him.”
“Amrith!”
“He’s my cousin, my relative. It’s not fair. You have family and I don’t. Why do you want to deny me the one person I have? Do you have any idea what it’s like to be me? To grow up alone, with no family who loves you and —”
“Amrith!” Her face filled with dismay. She held her arms out to him. “How can you say that? We love you. We are your family.”
“No, you’re not. You’re not.” He was suddenly close to tears.
“I’ve always thought of you as my brother, Amrith. I have always loved you as my brother. I even love you a little more than I love akka and —”
“Well, I’ve never thought of you as my sister. Never.” He could not stop himself. “I’ve never loved you as my sister.”
She stared at him, horrified, then she burst into tears.
He turned his head away. “No, you are not my sister and I have always-always thought of you, all of you, as strangers. This has never felt like my home.”
With that, he turned and stalked out of the room.
Amrith felt no remorse. His anger had been stoked by his own cruelty and it flared and burnt through him. He was helpless in its grip.
When they were getting changed for bed that night, he said to his cousin, “Niresh, I think we should go on a trip. Just you and I. We should go to Negambo and stay at Uncle Lucky’s aquarium. There is a small bungalow there. I’m sure I could get Uncle Lucky to have Soma take us. The watcher could do the cooking. We’d have a great time. It’s fantastic at night as you can see the fishermen going out. We could convince them to take us in their boats.”
“It sounds like a great idea, Amrith, but you know, I only have six days left and I kind of want to spend it here in Colombo. Do you mind?”
“No, why should I? It’s obvious you don’t want to spend time with me.”
“Ah, no, Amrith, come on, that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. You think I’m boring and because I am two years younger, you are tired of my company.”
Niresh looked at him astounded. “Why are you saying such a thing? I never feel that way.” He put his hand on Amrith’s shoulder. “This time with you has been the best in my life. I really mean it. Better than anything in Canada.”
But no matter what Niresh said, Amrith knew his cousin was in love with Mala. He shrugged his hand off and replied bitterly, “You’re lying to me. Just like you lie to everyone else.”
He went to his almirah and began to take out some clean clothes.
When he turned around, his cousin was seated on the bed, staring at him. He looked like he had been slapped.
17
Cassio
The next morning, Amrith had a rehearsal and Niresh was going with Aunty Bundle to view the construction of a new hotel on the southern coast.
While they got dressed and had breakfast, Amrith could feel his cousin’s gaze on him. He vindictively refused to meet his eye.
As Amrith walked up the front path towards the school buildings, he looked at the clear blue sky and the sunlight that spread its beams over the manicured lawn, with its beds of impatiens and magenta croton bushes. His nerves were stretched to the breaking po
int.
When he entered the auditorium, Suraj was practicing his monologue onstage, interrupted often by Madam or Fernando so they could correct him and give him some direction. Their voices were exasperated, as Suraj was not a very good actor at all. He had got the part because he looked, as Madam put it in her humorous way, “like a real thug.” The rest of the cast were seated in the front rows, watching.
Once Amrith had greeted Madam and Fernando, he went up the steps to take his place on Desdemona’s bed. As he crossed the stage, Suraj gave him a haughty glare. It was a warning. Amrith was not to tell anyone about Suraj’s humiliation, when he was brought over by his mother and forced to apologize. Amrith raised his eyebrows challengingly and Suraj, out of surprise, dropped his gaze.
Amrith passed him and lay on the bed, his hands folded over his chest.
Suraj began his monologue again. He soon reached the point when Othello approached the sleeping Desdemona and bent down to kiss her. As he leaned close and pretended to do so, he glared at Amrith, who returned his gaze unblinkingly.
Suraj had performed the action of bending so awkwardly that Fernando leapt up on the stage, crying, “For goodness’ sake, Wanigasekera! That foot-ruler in your other hand is supposed to represent a lamp. If you tip it like that, you’ll set the bed on fire.” He came up to them and showed Suraj how to lean over the bed properly.
When Fernando left the stage, Suraj said in a low voice, “Don’t think you’re a big shot. I could make you very —”
“What? Very what? Do you want to come to my house again like a pariah dog, with your tail between your legs?”
Suraj was silent, out of shock at Amrith’s audacity. He began his monologue. He once again reached the point when Othello approached the sleeping Desdemona and leaned down to kiss her. As he bent close over him, he glowered at Amrith, who gazed back unflinchingly.
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