by H S Russell
I’ve kept telling myself that he has to let me go. He can’t keep me here forever. But he still shows no sign of letting me go.
I don’t know how, but I have to start making something happen.
✤ ✤ ✤
The next afternoon finds us pouring over a game of Scrabble. My stares travel equally between him and the board. While I’m determined to finally beat him at something, I also like looking at him when he doesn’t realize it. But I’ve been caught out again, when I realize he’s talking to me. About what, I don’t know. Sometimes it’s really hard to concentrate on what he’s saying when he looks so good.
Yep, classic Stockholm syndrome.
“Allie, are you listening to me?”
Nope. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
He gives me a frustrated frown like I’m a student he’s caught not paying attention. “I’d like you to join me for dinner this evening,” he says.
“Dinner? Like, out of this room dinner?” I’ve never been out of this room, not in the weeks I’ve been here.
“Yes, out of this room dinner. But just to the dining room and back, that’s all you’re getting.”
Still, I’ll take it. Anything to get away from these same four walls. “I’d love to, but I don’t have anything to wear.” I just barely stop myself from rolling my eyes when I realize how much like a date I sound.
There’s a weighted silence as he glances over my body. His smile turns into a wolfish, appreciative grin as his hot, twinkling eyes meet mine.
“Lose the shirt. Just wear the sheet.”
✤ ✤ ✤
I torture myself on whether I make myself more presentable or not. On the one hand, I’m a girl and I want to look pretty. On the other hand, I fear I’m brainwashed and shouldn’t want to look nice for my captor. In the end, I decide to take a shower, but I don’t shave my legs. It was the best compromise I could come up with and still live with myself.
Vanity, thy name is woman.
While in the shower, I’d stared at the razor as if it held all the answers to my questions as I debated whether or not to shave. Then I smiled, remembering how we’d joked after I’d asked him for a razor.
“Sure, I’ll order you one.”
“Thanks. Any disposable will be fine.”
He nods in that guy way, the one that says he’s not paying any attention.
I pursed my lips at him. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll hurt you with it?” I asked.
He looks up at me in humorous disbelief. “You’re going to hurt me with a disposable Bic razor?” he asks. “When we get it, I want to see how you think you can take me down with it.”
He was right of course. When I’d held up the small plastic razor, we’d both laughed at the very idea.
Coming back to the present as I wait on him, I hear the knock on the door before opening it. He’s in the same T-shirt and jeans he had on earlier. The T-shirt is that perfect blend of soft and tight, hugging his body in all the right places and laying gently over all the other parts.
Despite his casual clothes, he carries himself with confidence. I never realized how confidence is like catnip.
I’m wearing both the shirt and the sheet, covering myself as much as I possibly can. I catch his side-eye glances as we leave the room, sensing that he’d rather I wore one or the other, not both.
This is my first time leaving the room, so I feel like a meerkat as I look all around while we walk. The house is bigger than I’d been able to tell from my window view. I look at Lucas, impressed even while knowing I shouldn’t be. “Either being a thief pays well, or you’re a really, really good thief.”
He laughs, seeming surprised at my comment. “Trust me when I say it’s both.”
I look around as I follow him down the stairs. The walls are painted in soft grays while the trim moldings are soft yet bright white. The colors pop against the gleaming wood floors. The artwork and furniture blend beautifully. I’d expected a more modern look, lots of white and black, but this is more of a traditional modern than a true modern.
I bump into him when I’m still looking around, having to put my hand on his chest to stop my momentum. Even so, my breasts still manage to get crushed between us. He puts a hand around my waist and holds me there, keeping me from stepping away from him. His eyelids lower and his nostrils flare as if he’s caught my feminine scent.
Lucas takes my arm by my wrist as he pulls it to his lips. He rests them against me for a second, no doubt feeling the fast pulse beating there. There, right over my pulse point, he places a light kiss on the sensitive skin.
A puff of air escapes my lips as yearning sweeps through me.
“I’ll remind you to be careful, Allie,” he warns me, his voice low. “I’m not feeling very patient tonight.”
I want him. I want him desperately even while knowing I’m insane to feel anything for him. I take a step away before this goes any further. The step brings a small library into my line of sight. Needing the distraction, I pull away as he lets me go. Not saying a word, I head into the library, hoping to break the spell he’s cast over me.
Chapter 14
Lucas
When Allie stumbled into me, I felt every luscious curve, curves I haven’t felt in days. She got all flustered and nervous before running away in that ridiculous sheet and shirt combo. One or the other Allie, not both.
I let her go when she pulls away, then follow her but stop at the doorway. Not trusting myself to get too near her again, I lean against the doorjamb and watch her. Like I always do.
She glides around the room, touching this and that, until she gets to the photograph. I feel myself tense when she stops and studies the small snapshot of the three of us. The one that was taken when times were good. I’m oddly hesitant about her seeing it, but I’m not sure why.
“This is you when you were younger? With your parents?”
“Yes.”
“You were so cute,” she teases with a little smile. For some reason that smile almost makes me redden. “You look like a happy family.”
“We were.” The eight-year-old me in that picture sure thought so.
She looks around the room. “Only this one picture? How come?”
I clear my voice, wondering why I’m telling her this, why I’m showing her this part of me. I never talk about this stuff with anyone.
“My mom got sick after that picture was taken. She died a year or so after that,” I tell her. “Cancer.”
She goes still and then glances at me, her eyes sad, before looking back at the photo. “She was very beautiful. And you were young. How old were you?”
“I was ten when she died, eight in that picture.”
She shakes her head, knowing there’s more to this story. “Too young to lose a parent…”
I don’t know why I share this with her; it’s as if the words are being pulled out by some unseen force. “I didn’t get it for a long time. I wrote her letters for my dad to mail. She was gone, but she was still…somewhere.”
She stays focused on the picture. “That must have been heartbreaking for your father.”
I sigh and finally walk over to her, looking at the picture for the first time in years. “I’ve never thought about it, but I’m sure you’re right.” Was it heartbreaking for my father? I guess it was.
“It took me almost another year before I realized she was gone. That she wasn’t somewhere, she was nowhere. It felt like losing her all over again when I finally figured it out.”
“Oh,” she whispers after a few moments, her voice tight. “Are you and your father close now?”
I look at my dad in the picture, so proud of his beautiful wife and his young, goofy-looking son. “No, not really.” I hear her sniffle and glance at her face. Are those tears? “It’s not because of losing her, Allie. He and I are different. It just happened.”
She sniffs and wipes her cheeks, making me wish I’d been the one to wipe away her tears.
“I understand. It’s just,
he looks so happy here, like he’s got everything in the world he’s ever wanted. And then to lose it like that… Losing someone is hard enough as it is. I don’t know how a man recovers from losing the woman he loves, the mother of his child.”
My mom was beautiful, stunning even, inside and out. Losing a creature like her would have turned me into a raging beast, ready to rip the world apart with my anger and grief. He never seemed angry except for the time I’d stolen the test. To me he always looked defeated. Lost. Empty.
“Come on,” I tell her, “let’s eat before everything gets cold.”
I start to walk away, but her next words stop me immediately. “You should call your dad, Lucas.”
Her words bring about a sense of long-held guilt, which in turn pisses me off. “This is absolutely none of your fucking business, Allie.” I don’t care if I’ve probed and inserted myself into her life, it doesn’t give her permission to do the same to me. But instead of listening to what I’m telling her—to fuck off—this brave, beautiful woman walks up to me and places her hand on my chest, right over my heart. I doubt she even realizes she’s doing it.
“You know I lost both of my parents when I was in high school. I’d give everything if I still had one of them left,” she says, her eyes glittering with tears. “Your mom died thinking that you two would have each other to lean on. If for no other reason, do it for your mom.” Then she walks away as if she hasn’t just slain me with her words.
I’ve drugged and kidnapped this woman, and now I’m holding her captive indefinitely. I’ve taken away all of her freedom and her free will. Chances are I’m going to take her body in ways she’s never been taken before.
And yet after everything I’ve done to her, she urges me to reach out to my father and mend our relationship. I’ve hurt her, and her instinct is to help me.
If I’m not careful, this woman will own me one day.
Allie
Lucas seats me as if we’re at a fine restaurant and I’m wearing a beautiful dress. He begins to take off all of the covers over the food, and I can’t help but stare as the food is uncovered. Salad, asparagus, steak, potatoes…and carrots.
“Did you make all of this?”
He does a one-shoulder shrug, acting almost shy. “Kind of.”
Hmmm. “How does one ‘kind of’ cook a big dinner?”
Lucas gets a stubborn look on his face. “Just eat your food.”
I quit eating and put my fork down. A woman has to choose her battles, and I’m choosing this one. “Oh no, you don’t get to leave it at that, not when it’s something I’m eating.”
He glares but finally gives in. “You’ve heard of those sites that send you all the ingredients and the recipe, then you make the meal?” He doesn’t look at me while he talks. “It’s one of those things. It’s no big deal.
I bite my lips to keep the smile from blossoming at the thought of Lucas using a cooking delivery company to make dinner for us. This man has an endearing side hidden underneath all his bristling anger and crookedness.
After dinner, Lucas takes me to an outdoor verandah where I have my first breath of fresh air in days. I sit on an outdoor sofa while he turns on the floodlights before joining me. The dark evening air is calming. I look over at his profile, thinking again how handsome he is.
“You’re being very nice to me tonight. Thank you for letting me leave the room.” I almost wince as I hear the words come out of my mouth. As if him letting me leave is doing me a huge favor.
But he looks at me with a half-grin and my thoughts go out the window. “Don’t tell anyone. Nice is the last thing I’m known for. If people find out, you’ll ruin my street cred.”
“Right, of course. But I hope this doesn’t mean you’re going to be unpleasant tomorrow.”
“By unpleasant you mean a prick?” He gives me a full grin as we both laugh. “I know what I am, Allie—you don’t have to sugarcoat it.”
“Good to know so I can be prepared.” I reach out and nudge his shoulder lightly as if we’re friends. “You know, you wouldn’t be such a prick if you weren’t so bossy.”
He’s leaning with his elbows on his knees, and all I want to do is touch him some more. I lean closer to him so I can at least be near him.
“I’m bossy because I am the boss. And I’m the boss in every way, Allie.”
Heat zips through me, weakening me with his words. I want to turn the tables and tell him to be careful saying those things to me, but I don’t dare. We both stay quiet and stare out over the yard. A few quiet moments go by until I finally ask the question I’m the most anxious about.
“What’s going to happen to me, Lucas? You can’t keep me here forever.”
His face gets tense when I say that.
“You know that eventually you’re going to have to let me go, right?”
I watch that too-handsome face for some telltale reaction to my words but see none.
“I mean, the only other solution is you doing something…awful to me.”
His eyes snap to mine.
“Are you?” I ask, whispering.
“Am I what? Going to do something awful?”
“Yes.”
He scratches his neck, swearing under his breath until he looks at me again. “No, Allie, I’m not going to harm you like that.”
Like that? I want to ask what that means, but he continues while he looks out into the dark night, pensive. “I’m going to explain a few things, then we can talk about letting you go.”
“Okay.” I ignore the little pinch of sadness the thought of leaving him causes. This thing of liking being around my captor is maddening.
“The kind of thing you saw me doing can be very hard to prove. Getting tangible evidence is almost impossible.” He glances at me until I nod for him to go on. “While you’ve been here, we’ve been covering our tracks well enough that it’ll be hard to prove anything happened. It’ll be your word against ours.”
“You’re saying they won’t believe me.” Surely not.
“I’m saying they won’t be able to find any evidence that it ever happened.”
I start to sputter in response, but Lucas holds up his hand for me to wait.
“I’ve also told you that the authorities don’t know who I am. That’s the truth. We’re not on anyone’s radar.” He sighs, then looks right at me. “Since they don’t know who I am, they also don’t know who I work with. Who my associates are.”
Worry starts to creep over me. “What are you trying to say, Lucas?”
Moving to sit next to me, he rubs the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “Do you know how soft your skin is?” he whispers, his words surprising me.
But before I can answer his strange comment, he stands again and walks a few feet away. I try to steel myself for whatever he’s about to say.
“We’ve planted evidence against you, Allie. Lots of it. Evidence that will make you complicit. If they investigate me for any crime, they’ll find evidence that you were in on it. An accomplice. If you turn us in, you’ll be turning yourself in as well.”
His words hit me like a sledgehammer.
“What?” No, surely not. I look at him, pleading for him to tell me this is all just an elaborate lie. “You wouldn’t do that, would you?” I whisper, saying the words as much to myself as to him.
“You talking to the authorities will look like a lovers’ quarrel gone bad. When they see the planted evidence, they’ll never believe you weren’t in on it. They’ll think you’re turning us in as an act of lover’s revenge.”
I look at him, stunned.
He clears his throat and continues. “And because of that, chances are they’ll never believe I took you and held you against your will.” He looks away before looking at me. “If we go to prison because you tell on us, you’ll more than likely go to prison too, Allie. In fact, we’ll make sure of it.”
I sit in stunned silence, staring off into space, trying to process what he’s just told me, when he utters words I neve
r thought I’d hear.
“We’ve made you one of us. Welcome to the team, Allie.”
Chapter 15
Lucas
I have to walk away after telling her what we’ve done. She’s innocent in all of this, and now I’m stealing even that from her.
Once a thief, always a thief.
I’ve come to care for her in ways that I never expected, ways that I never should have. Allie is amazing. Beautiful too, whether she believes it or not. All the time we’ve spent together—talking and matching wits—I’ve never enjoyed being around a woman so much.
And now I’m ruining everything by ruining her.
I don’t realize that she’s gotten up until she’s almost in front of me. I watch her wrapped in that stupid sheet and wonder again why I never thought to strip the bed. I make note that the next time she’s in the shower I need to do that.
I’m watching her eyes so I never see her hand until it’s already cracking across my face. The sound of the slap echoes in my ears.
It takes me a full moment to realize she’s just slapped me.
Fucking slapped me.
I bring my hand up to my cheek, seething in anger. Every cell in my body is telling me to teach her a lesson, right the fuck now. She tries to back away, but I’ve already got my hands on her. My cock gets rock hard in seconds, ready and dying to punish her for this.
“Don’t you ever fucking do that again,” I growl. My jaw is clenched so hard I can barely speak.
“Don’t you threaten me, Lucas,” she spits right back at me, her blue eyes glittering with anger. “How could you do this to me? I thought…”
“You thought what? That I liked you? That I was your friend? What exactly did you think, Allie?”
Before I can sense it, her arm comes up and, sweet Jesus, she slaps me yet again.
“Goddammit,” I growl at her just before capturing her lips, taking her with all the anger and hunger coursing through me.
