by Hoff, Stacy
“You’ll have my replacement soon enough, I’m sure. That will solve your problem. As for me, I’m really frustrated right now.”
“I hear you,” he says, calm and slow. “I’m sorry you’re frustrated. So am I, but I accept the situation because I want to be with you.”
“Forget it, let’s talk about this later. I don’t want to be seen down here for too long.”
“I actually called you down here for a work related reason,” he says, voice perking up. “I want you to pick your replacement. I trust your judgment. We’ve got the field narrowed to three candidates.”
“Thanks for the opportunity, but you choose. You’re the one who is going to be dealing with this person.”
“I at least want your input.”
“I’ll be honest, I don’t like seeing myself replaced. Especially not now, and especially not by you. I’m sure whoever you choose will be fine. I’m going back to my office.”
He looks sad as I walk out. I feel that way, too.
To Jordan’s credit, he hasn’t seemed too discouraged by my outburst. Every day he calls. Though the conversations are still brief, at least he acknowledges and apologizes for that. He no longer brings up the topic of my replacement, other than to say the selection has been made, and to tell me her name and start date. As soon as I hear the name I forget it. It isn’t like I want to know anyway.
I’m up to my sixth rose color—creamy white. I give him kudos for having this color odyssey go on for so long, but I’m still not thrilled with this choice. White reminds me of two topics I don’t want to dwell on—weddings and December snow. But I sound as grateful as possible when he calls to ask me how I like my newest flowers.
“Come down to the wing. No one is here, so you needn’t be covert.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, I’m calling you because I’m not sure. I like to screw with your head because you take that kind of thing so well.”
Apparently he has enough energy left over from his heavy workload to try to ruffle my feathers. I head downstairs. “All right,” I say, walking into his office. “What?”
“After that lousy greeting, I hope you’re going to feel awkward.” He hands me a large legal envelope with the firm’s name emblazed on the front.
“Why would I feel awkward? I told you I’d help you out with your work. Did you run this by Bill, or am I doing this on my own time?”
“It definitely involves your own time. I hope it’s not going to be too much of a burden for you. It is time sensitive and needs to be done next week.”
“You need me to do this over the holidays? If that’s really what you want, okay. My only real plans are to spend one day in Newtown so my mother has someone to help her do the Hanukah celebration thing. And I’m going to Leila’s party, but that won’t interfere with whatever you’re giving me.”
“It might.”
“I’ll have to skip Leila’s party? You really need me to do that, even after I already told you that I don’t want the firm to view me as a recluse and that I feel isolated? Now I can’t even go out on New Year’s Eve? Are you kidding me?”
“That was quite a lot. Are you done?”
“No! What do you want me to do? Wait around for you, hoping you’ll finally tell me we can have a life? And not much of a life since we’ll have to live it like vampires, confined to the night and away from society!”
“Vampires. I never thought of that. I do like the analogy though, very literary of you. Your English undergrad degree does pop up every now and then.”
Hmmm. That does give me pause. I never told him what my college major was. What’d he do, memorize my employee file? “Whatever, Jordan. If there’s anything else I’ll need for this, drop it off at my house and slip it under the front door. Then you won’t have to see me. After I’ve read through everything I can scream in private instead of here at the firm.” I walk out, holding onto the envelope. I’m mad as hell, but I’ll do his damned assignment.
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
“No,” I call out behind me. “It’s not like I need your help explaining an assignment anymore.” I’d have thought he’d explode in anger. Why he’s laughing is an enigma.
I took a hot shower as soon as I got home hoping it’d help me forget the situation. Fail. Procrastination is not working for me. Though I’m plenty pissed at him, his laughter made me curious. I haven’t opened the envelope yet and its mystery content is torturing me. But should I open it? I’m not certain I want to deal with whatever’s inside. Or him, for that matter.
On the other hand, he hasn’t asked me to do any of his work since I went to Bill, and I feel uncomfortable leaving him in a professional bind. I also don’t want Marty’s time in Florida ruined because Jordan’s laptop’s open.
Shit. The envelope is mocking me. Finally succumbing, I open it. I reach in, pulling out a glossy blue and white folder. Inside is a round-trip airline ticket to Orlando. First class, for the three days that includes New Year’s Eve. Cringing. I gave Jordan all that grief, and all he wanted was for me to spend time with him and his daughter.
My phone rings. No need to glance at Caller ID.
“Feeling awkward?” he asks without preamble. I can hear the amusement in his voice.
“Yes. You win. I feel awkward.”
“No, I win because you’re coming with us to Florida.”
I don’t answer him immediately.
“You are coming, aren’t you?”
“Look, it was very sweet of you to do this. But I don’t want to invade your time with Marty. You should never have to feel guilty about having time alone with your daughter.”
“I’m not doing this out of guilt. I’m doing it because I want you in Florida with us.”
Silently, I contemplate this.
“Don’t worry so much, Sue,” he says gently. “It’s all going to work out nicely. Marty and I are flying down on Christmas to spend a few days together. Killer whale shows, pools, Disney . . . that kind of thing. On my last full day with Marty, you’ll fly in to join us. You can choose between running around with Mickey Mouse or using tanning oil as you lounge poolside. The next morning I’ll drop off Marty at her grandparents’ condo near Orlando. Marty flies back with her mom. That gives us two days on our own, and then we fly back together.”
“I don’t know what to say. You must have gone through a lot of work to arrange all this.” I hesitate. It’s still so hard to speak from the heart. “Thank you for wanting me to join you. I’m actually quite touched.”
“My pleasure. I told you I was busy. Mostly work, but a little vacation coordination too. Look, I know it’s been hard for you. It’s been easier on me because I have two traits you don’t, patience and optimism.”
“I think you mean egotism.” I smile into the phone.
I hear his corresponding laughter. “Okay, three traits,” he concedes.
“I don’t know what excuse I’ll give Leila for missing her party.”
“I’m sorry but I can’t fix that one. I wish you could tell Leila that I’m your boyfriend. Hell, I wish you could tell me that I’m your boyfriend.”
“I’ve finally made a decision on that.”
“Are you going to tell me what that decision is, or have I invited to Florida some sicko who likes to play with people’s minds?”
“I am a sicko because I do think of you as my boyfriend. Happy? Now I have to go. I don’t have endless hours to speak with you. I’m a busy person. I have to surf the Internet for bathing suits.”
“Believe me, I’m looking forward to seeing you in them. I should have bought us tickets to Brazil. Seeing you in a thong, now that would be a vacation. Too bad you’ll have to be more demure in Florida. It wouldn’t be nice to give Mickey Mouse a stroke.” He let out a sigh. �
�Great, now that I have this thong image in my head, it’ll be almost impossible for me to get back to work. I’ll have to really concentrate if I’m going to get anything accomplished. Bye.”
CHAPTER 25
I had never flown anywhere before. Let alone first class. But my excitement for the plane ride is eclipsed by excitement to see Jordan.
I get to the hotel, check in, and give my suitcase to a bellhop. “You are in room 1412, Ms. Linkovitch,” says the pleasant, portly bellman. “Please take this electronic key card, along with this envelope that was left for you.” I take both. On the outside of the envelope is my name written in microscopic letters. I walk away from the bellhop to read the note inside. If it’s going to be bad news, I want to read it in private.
Sue,
You’re finally here, thank God! We’re excited to see you. Marty’s had enough of roller coasters and cartoon characters and so have I, so we are spending today by the pool. We’ll be in the kids’ section. Get changed and come find us.
Jordan
P.S. Please be kind when selecting your swimwear. Since we’ll be in the kids’ area, I’ll need to show restraint.
Jordan is right, I am a pessimist. I feel silly for my misplaced apprehension. Folding the note and stuffing it in my purse, I look up to see the bellman still standing there waiting for me. I apologize and hurry along.
The room is set up like a small apartment. Closing the door, I look around. The space is comprised of a small kitchen and living area with an open pullout couch. There’s a small pink nightgown lying on the side of the bed. A purple suitcase is on the nightstand next to it. I can’t figure out where Jordan sleeps. Or where I’m going to sleep. If I’m to stay in a different room, why did the front desk give me a key to this room?
After a few seconds, I notice a door. Opening it, I walk into a large bedroom with a king size bed. Jordan’s luggage is neatly placed in the open closet, his clothes hanging above. I open the drawers to the large chest. All of his shirts, underwear, and socks are laid out in straight rows. Half of each drawer is empty—he obviously took great pains to equally divide the space. I appreciate his effort.
Well, Jordan apparently thinks it’s okay if he and I share a bedroom when Marty’s over. I decide to unpack his way rather than do what I want, which is dump my suitcase on top of the dresser and rummage around every time I need something.
I put on a one-piece black Speedo with a V-neck and wrap a sheer black beach sarong around my waist. My flip-flops are from an on-line catalog, ordered for their feminine wedge heel, low enough to be practical for walking to a pool. My new sunglasses don a style not typical of my taste. They’re a throwback to the 1950’s. Black, cat shaped, with rhinestones clustered at the outer edges. Everything else is thrown into a small beach bag. Time to find the kids’ section of the hotel’s pool.
The lobby is large and the grounds are even larger. It takes me ten whole minutes to walk to the pool area. Past the hot tubs for the adults. Past the main pool with its built-in waterfalls. Finally, I see the colorful gate denoting the kids’ section. Peeking through, I see zillions of children screaming with delight. They run through sprinkler sculptures and ride down twisty waterslides. I lift the gate handle and walk through.
How I’m ever going to find Jordan in this chaos, I don’t know. My cell phone is up in the hotel room, left there so it wouldn’t get doused with pool water. I scan the scene for another ten minutes. It’s no use. Maybe they’ll find me.
I sit down on one of the adult sized lounge chairs. I put my head back, feet up and pop on my new sunglasses. I slather on sunscreen. Totally relaxed, I gaze passively at the kids playing.
“Finally! You took so long we tried finding you back at the hotel room.”
“Am I late? I’m sorry to you both. Hello again, Marty.” I extend my hand out to her.
“Hi, Sue.”
“How’s everything been with Barbie?” I inquire.
“Daddy let me buy her a bathing suit for the trip. You call it a bikini, right, Daddy?”
“Right, pumpkin.” He shoots me a wink. “I had Marty leave bikini Barbie back at the hotel room. I didn’t want you to think I was hanging out poolside with scantily clad blondes.”
Somehow I manage to stifle my laughter. “Marty, Barbie shouldn’t get all the vacation gifts. I got one for you.”
“You did? What is it? Can I keep it?”
I give her a box she quickly rips open. In it she finds pink cat-shaped sunglasses with rhinestones decorating the sides. It was the closest I could find to the ones I’m wearing.
“Cool,” she squeals, shoving them onto her face. “Daddy, don’t I look cool?”
“Yes, very cool. Now all the five year old boys will be awestruck.”
“Do you really think so? Let’s go back to the sprinklers to find out.” She grabs Jordan’s hand and drags him over there. He looks over his shoulder at me apologetically.
I wave him off. “Have fun you two. Let me know how it goes, Marty.” Smiling to myself, I zone.
The day, though over too fast, was fun. Marty was already half asleep by the time dinner ended. I help Jordan get her ready for bed but let him tuck her in alone. I want them to have their private time, too. I get ready for bed myself, putting on my floor-length floral nightgown, the one he saw during the only night we’d spent together. I knew he’d appreciate the choice since we had Marty tonight. I slip under the lightweight blankets and turn on the television. I have the TV volume low and the room dark so Marty can sleep.
“She’s down for the count,” he whispers a few minutes later. He starts to close the bedroom door.
“I think you should leave it open. I have the television on very low so it doesn’t wake her.”
“Leave the door open? Why on Earth would we do that?”
“Think about it from Marty’s perspective. If she wakes up, she’ll see a shut door. Since she barely knows me, she may think I want her shut off from you. That won’t exactly endear her to me.”
“That’s still better than having her just walk in. Considering what I have in mind for us tonight, I’m pretty sure a child psychologist would not want her to witness it.”
“The easy solution would be leaving the door open and having no adult activity.”
“Easy for who?”
I raise my right eyebrow at him. He grumbles but opens the door as wide as it can go. We get into bed, and he puts his arm around me as we watch TV. I figure he needs a consolation prize, so I don’t object to whatever sports show he’s watching.
Dozing off . . .
Oh, I’m being shaken. My eyes spring open, trying to figure out where I am, and what’s going on. “Marty? What’s wrong?”
“I had a bad dream.”
“What happened?” Jordan asks sleepily. The clock on the nightstand behind him flashes 11:30 p.m.
“She had a bad dream, Jordan. I’ll tuck her back in.” I get her back into bed and pull the bedding over her.
“Sorry,” she says in a shaky voice.
“Don’t be, honey, I’m happy to help. Is the bad dream going to come back, do you think?”
“I don’t think so. I can’t remember what it was.”
“Then I’m sure it won’t.”
I stay with her for a few minutes until she goes back to sleep. Then I go back to the bedroom.
“I don’t mean this offensively, Sue, because you were wonderful with her just now. You’re always wonderful with her, actually. I can tell she really likes you. But I’m surprised she went to you, and not me, for her nightmare.”
“Maybe she wanted to feel she could go to me, that I’m receptive to her because I have an open-door policy. You should try it with your new associate.”
“When you were my associate, I hated it when you had a really goo
d point. Especially one I hadn’t thought of. I still hate it.”
I just smile. “Goodnight, handsome.” I drift back to sleep.
CHAPTER 26
It’s time to bring Marty to her mother. I get up at what I think is an early hour to help get her ready and packed up, but it isn’t early enough. I’m alone in bed. I notice the bedroom door has been closed. Through the door, I hear crunching sounds of what I guess is Marty eating cereal.
Jordan’s voice drifts through. “I had so much fun with you, Marty. I’m glad we got the chance to do this.”
