by Amy Brent
I laughed at Zach’s disgusted look, trying to be nonchalant. “The fake engagement is seriously just to get Jason off my back,” I said, shaking my head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like we’re doing anything else.” It was harder to say the lie now that I had acknowledged my feelings for Ian, but I didn’t think Zach could hear the slight hesitation there. As well as he knew me, I didn’t think he could tell when I was lying.
But Zach looked like he didn’t believe me. I rolled my eyes. “You can’t be upset with me,” I told him. “I’m an adult, and I could even date him if I wanted to.”
“Absolutely not,” Zach said flatly.
“Why not?” I asked.
“You know why,” Zach said, frowning at me.
I shook my head and got up out of the booth. “I’m going to go help Ian get the drinks,” I said shortly. I just couldn’t believe him. Was that five-year age gap really such a big deal? I didn’t understand what Zach’s problem was. I had a feeling what he was really saying was that he didn’t want me to date his best friend. But then he needed to just come out and say that rather than making up stupid excuses.
On my way up to the bar, I ran into the last person I wanted to see. “Jason,” I said, scowling at him.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Jason said, draping an arm around my shoulders. “Where’s your fiancé anyway?”
“None of your business,” I said, shaking off Jason’s arm.
He leaned in conspiratorially. “You know, he’s not a very good fiancé if he’s not here with you.”
“Oh, fuck off, Jason!” I said.
“Come on, sweetheart, you know you don’t mean that,” Jason said, trying to pull me back into his arms. “I know you’re still mad at me, but can’t you see that I’ve changed? I’m ready to be there for you, just like you need.”
I pushed him away from me. “I don’t care if you’ve changed,” I told him. God, between Zach and Jason, it seemed like the universe was out to ruin my whole night. This was supposed to be a celebration, and instead I felt like crying.
“Let me take you out on just one date,” Jason insisted. “We’ll go to that seafood restaurant that you love.”
“I have a fiancé,” I reminded him even though it was a lie. I scanned the bar, looking for Ian, but I couldn’t seem to find him.
“You don’t need him,” Jason said coaxingly, catching my wrist. “Come on, let me show you a good time.”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was Ian. He swung around and his fist connected hard with Jason’s jaw. Jason collapsed to the sticky floor, blinking dazedly up at us. Then he pushed himself to his feet and lunged at Ian.
The bouncers were there before he made contact, grabbing both Ian and Jason and hauling them toward the exit.
“Wait,” I said, rushing after them on legs that felt like they were made of lead. “Wait, not him.” I caught Ian’s arm, and the bouncer holding him drew to a stop.
“We don’t allow fighting in here,” he said.
“I know,” I said. “But Jason—that’s the other guy—he’s been stalking me. Ian was just protecting me.”
The bouncers exchanged looks, and finally, the one holding Ian let him go. “All right,” he said. “But if I see you making any more trouble, I’m going to have you all out of here.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you so much.”
Ian was rubbing at his hand, and I took it in mine, rubbing my thumb gently over his knuckles. “Are you okay?” I asked worriedly. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t?” Ian asked mildly, raising an eyebrow at me.
I thought of what might have happened if Ian hadn’t been there, if he hadn’t swooped in to save me from Jason. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him, my hand still holding his.
I tried to put everything I was feeling into the kiss: the confusion, the nervousness, the gratefulness, the passion, the desire. Our lips slotted together, and we made out sloppily for a couple seconds. Then I recalled where we were and pulled away.
“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have done that here,” I said, glancing nervously around the bar. From the angle we were at, I couldn’t see over to our booth, and I breathed out a sigh of relief, hoping that meant none of them had seen the kiss.
But then I saw Zach standing just a couple feet away from us. He had clearly seen the whole commotion with Jason and had come to help me out, only Ian had gotten there first. And now, he had seen me kiss Ian.
It clearly hadn’t been a first kiss either. Zach shook his head, looking disgusted with both of us. Then he turned and stalked toward the front door.
I looked up at Ian’s stricken face, wanting to say something, but he wasn’t paying any attention to me. He was already pulling away from me and following Zach. “Zach, wait!” he called. He ran out the door, chasing after my brother, leaving me standing alone in the middle of the bar, fighting back tears.
Chapter 20
Ian
I felt terrible on Thursday morning. I hung up my phone after leaving yet another message for Zach. He wouldn’t talk to me, not the night before and not now. My calls went straight to voice mail.
I knew I shouldn’t have started something with his little sister. And once I had started things with Abigail, I should have told Zach about them. Well, not really. Zach would’ve killed me if he had found out I was just fucking around with his sister. Even if Abigail was in her mid-twenties, Zach still thought of her like she was a little kid, his to protect.
He had counted on me to help protect Abigail, and I had let him down in a big way. It was no wonder he wouldn’t talk to me.
I just wished he would give me a chance to explain, although I didn’t really know how to explain.
I wanted to blame this all on Jason. I was definitely pissed at him for showing up at the bar the previous night. He had to be stalking Abigail; it was no coincidence he just showed up there like that. I hoped I had made it clear that he should leave her alone, but I wished selfishly that I’d had the chance to do a little more damage.
I’d looked over from the bar when I’d heard Abigail’s voice. She’d looked scared, and I’d seen the way Jason grabbed her wrist, not letting her go. What a slime-ball. Immediately, I left behind the drinks I was waiting for and went to help her out.
Maybe he had changed, but he seemed to have come back worse than before.
I could tell Abigail was upset when the bouncers finally left us alone, but the kiss had surprised me. In the moment, I somehow felt like we knew what we were to one another, and I’d leaned into the kiss. As soon as I’d seen Zach’s face, though, I knew I had blown it. Big time.
I dropped my phone on my bedside table, resigning myself to the fact that Zach wasn’t going to call me until he had cooled off a little. When I got to the kitchen, Abigail was already there, looking as though she had barely slept the previous night. “Ian, I’m sorry,” she said immediately. “I know I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I wasn’t thinking.”
I shook my head. “Don’t apologize,” I said gruffly. “What’s done is done. And Zach was bound to find out at some point anyway.”
“He still isn’t talking to you, is he? He’s not talking to me, but Mikayla says they both made it home okay.” She bit her lower lip, and I could tell she was thinking about heading over there but knew as well as I did that when her brother was stewing over something, you had to give him time to get his head wrapped around whatever it was.
And this was a pretty big something.
“He’s not talking to me either,” I told her. “He’s really pissed.” I paused. “I don’t know. I wish there was something I could do. I feel bad that I screwed things up with him, but he’s your brother. I never meant to mess things up between the two of you.”
“You didn’t,” Abigail said firmly, shaking her head. “He’ll get over it.” She paused. “I think. Anyway, you’ve technically known him for longer than I have. If he’s going to for
give anyone, it’s going to be you. Besides, I was the one who started the kiss.”
I sighed. “I don’t think that really matters. I still let you kiss me, and he’s still your brother. He’s going to have to forgive you. There’s no way around it.”
Abigail was silent for a long moment, examining her nails as though she couldn’t even meet my gaze. “Do you want me to move out?” she finally asked.
I stared at her, surprised she would even ask that. I hated the whole mess with Zach, but I had never even considered asking her to move out over this. “No, I don’t want you to move out,” I finally said. I cracked a small smile. “Where would you go anyway? Back to your parents’ place? If Zach told your mom what he saw last night, she’s going to have a fit. She really wants to see you back together with Jason.”
“I know,” Abigail said mournfully. She shook her head. “We need to tell Jason the truth, that the engagement is fake. I don’t think he ever believed it anyway.”
“If that’s what you want to do,” I said, frowning. “I don’t really think it’s a good idea, though. If this is the way he acts when you pretend to be engaged, think of how he’ll act if he knows for sure that you’re single.”
Abigail shook her head, and there were tears in her eyes. “I just wish he’d leave me alone!” she said.
I pulled her up out of her chair and into my arms, rocking her gently. “Why haven’t you gotten a restraining order against him?” I asked.
“Because it just feels so childish,” she said plaintively. “I shouldn’t have to get lawyers involved just to get him to leave me alone; I should be able to handle it on my own.” She shook her head. “I just feel like I must be giving him mixed signals or something. That something I’m doing must be telling him I still want him. And if I could just figure out what it was, then I could stop doing it and he would leave me alone.”
I stroked her soft hair, humming a noise of acknowledgement while I thought about how to respond to that. “You know it doesn’t work that way, though. He’s clearly fixated on you, and it’s okay to ask for help sometimes.”
Abigail didn’t say anything as she pulled away from me. She still wasn’t looking at me, and I had the distinct feeling there was more to it than what I knew. There was something beyond the thing with Jason. Something beyond the thing with Zach. I frowned, trying to figure it out. The only other thing I could think was that she had feelings for me. Maybe the reason she was so upset was that she really had expected me to choose her brother over her. Maybe she thought I really was going to kick her out.
“Is there something else?” I asked softly. “Something you’re not telling me?” I didn’t want to outright ask if she had feelings for me just in case that had nothing to do with this. It wasn’t exactly fair, asking her to admit to having feelings for me when I hadn’t admitted to having feelings for her. But I thought I’d made my feelings pretty clear all the same. She was the one who was so insistent we were roomies with benefits right from the start.
Or maybe with my lack of relationship experience, I was just reading too much into things.
“No, there’s nothing else,” Abigail said, shaking her head. She glanced at her watch. “I should go. Dad’s given me some money so I can go buy some new things for my job. Clothes and stuff.”
“Is Brittany going with you?” I asked.
Abigail gave me a look like she didn’t understand why I had asked. I didn’t want to tell her that I didn’t want her out there on her own if Jason was stalking her, but I didn’t want to scare her either. “Brittany has to work,” Abigail finally said.
I wanted to tell her I was going with her. I could just insist that she needed a second opinion on the things that she was buying. But I had a couple appointments that day, and as much as I would like to blow them off, Geoff was still none too pleased with the fact that Jason had quit booking appointments with me. Anyway, if we ran into Zach while we were out shopping together, it would only make him even angrier with us. He already knew we’d been lying to him about our relationship; no need to rub his face in it.
“Be careful out there,” I told her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
For a second, I thought Abigail was going to say something. It was there, right on her lips, an admission to those feelings I suspected she had for me. But then her face closed off again, falling back to a careful neutral. “Thanks, but hopefully I won’t need to be careful,” she said, slipping away from me.
A few minutes later, I heard the front door open and close as she left.
Chapter 21
Abigail
On Friday, I knew I had to go talk to Zach. It had been two days, enough time for him to cool off a little. Besides, there was something else he needed to know, something I hadn’t told anyone just yet.
I frowned, biting my lower lip as I thought back to that morning.
Everything in my life seemed to be upside down and sideways at the moment. Starting a new job, living with Ian, realizing I had feelings for Ian, and now this. It was all getting to be too much. I needed my big brother in my life to talk things through with me even more than I needed my best friend. There was no bond thicker than blood after all.
Things with Ian and I had been weird since Wednesday night, too. I couldn’t believe I had kissed him like that. We’d been building toward it for a while, and I’d really just forgotten myself. Zach had been pissed when he’d darted out of there. I didn’t know what I’d expected—for Ian to stay with me and forget all about his best friend? But I hadn’t expected to be left there alone after that.
Mikayla had run off as soon as I’d told her what had happened, too, and Ian hadn’t come back. That had left Brittany and me, and even though I’d appreciated her sympathy, there was no amount of times she could say things were going to be all right that would make me believe it.
I walked slowly to Zach’s apartment, hoping he would be there, hoping he would even listen to me. I was sorry. I had never meant to fall in love with his best friend, and I didn’t know what to do now. I wanted to say that if Zach told me to never see Ian again, I could do that, but I didn’t think I was that strong. Especially not now, with what I had found out that morning.
Unbidden, my hand dropped to my lower stomach. I didn’t know how this had happened. We’d been careful. We’d used condoms. But one of them must have broken, and in our incredible passion, we hadn’t realized it. I bit my lower lip. Zach was going to kill me. He already didn’t want me to have a relationship with Ian, and now this.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. I wasn’t ready to be pregnant, and especially not with things so shaky between Ian and me. I could tell he cared about me, but it was like we were both walking on eggshells, not sure what the other person was thinking about our relationship. I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of my feelings for him, and I was even less sure how to tell him I was pregnant.
The timing was all wrong, too. I’d just landed the perfect job, the start of my career. I wanted to settle in, to wait a few years before I even started thinking about having children. Instead, everything hit at once.
I swallowed hard and kept walking.
First, I had to figure out what to say to Zach. As much as I liked Ian, as much as I wanted him to be a part of this baby’s life with me, Zach was my brother, and I needed him on my side through all this.
I took the elevator up to Zach’s floor. When the doors slid open, I was surprised to see Jason there in the hallway, just locking up the apartment across from Zach’s. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked stupidly.
Jason turned toward me, fixing me with a brilliant smile. “I just moved in over here,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
I continued to stare at him for a moment, trying to get my bearings. He had just moved in here? Literally across the hall from Zach and Mikayla? I didn’t understand what kind of game he thought he was playing. It felt like all the air had been punched out of my lungs.
Finally, I
threw both my hands in the air. “Okay, you win,” I said. “Ian and I aren’t actually engaged, but you need to leave me alone.”
“I knew it!” Jason crowed. “I could just tell. You’re not over me yet, are you?”
“Of course I’m over you,” I said disgustedly. “Just because I’m not engaged to Ian doesn’t mean I want you back.”
“But why not?” Jason asked, sounding as though he were actually perplexed. “I’ve changed so much. All I want is the chance to prove that to you. No more sleeping around. I just want to be good for you.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, shaking my head and folding my arms across my chest. “I don’t think you’ve changed at all. And quite frankly, I’m irritated with you and your act. I want you to leave me alone. I want you to stop going to the gym and bothering Ian. I want you to move out of this place and leave Zach and Mikayla alone. And if I catch you bothering Brittany as well, I’m going to go to the police like I should have done a while ago.”
“Come on, don’t be like that. Why won’t you at least give me a chance? You don’t even know me anymore.”
“I don’t want to know you anymore,” I told him firmly. I shook my head. “I might not be engaged to Ian, but I’m in love with him.”
“So give me the chance to get you to fall back in love with me,” Jason suggested. “We used to be so close. You can’t tell me that’s all gone.” He smiled. “You could move back in with me, here. We’d be right across the hall from your brother. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“God, you’re such a creep,” I said, shaking my head. “Is that why you moved in here? Because you thought you could win me over that way? It’s not going to work, Jason.”
“You can’t really love Ian that much,” Jason said. “Maybe you think you do, but it’s just because you know him well and because he was there for you when you were evicted.”
“How do you know about that?” I asked him. I didn’t realize he knew about the eviction. I had to wonder how long he’d been stalking me for. Had he ever really left the city at all, or had he just been lying low and biding his time? The thought made me feel sick.
